In the past, I was a person who admired freedom, and even my only ideal was to wander the world, don't blame me for not having lofty ambitions, in fact, living in this world, you never know what others think, so you don't know what other people's yearning is, sometimes hearing other people's ideals, it is really a feeling of flattery, but what about your own?

Does it sound the same to others? At that time, I was still very envious of myself, although I didn't have a lofty ideal, and I didn't have a favorite person, but I lived a chic life, but after a long time I found that the big dream was actually like a childhood dream, sooner or later it would be shattered, our growth, ambition is also growing with us, what I wanted to be a scientist at the beginning, something, and then a painter, etc., until I really graduated from college and entered the society, I found that the previous ambition was just a sand that inspired us to move forward and grow, and then it would be blown away with the wind, and no longer see its shadow。

When I was in elementary school, my dream was to be a mathematician, but after I went to college, I knew how far away it was, I had no interest in not saying, and I also read chemistry by mistake, and those dreams of mathematics were just my childhood interests, but I already had another dream when I was in junior high school, that is, to open a literary magazine, at that time it sounded like this desire was still very loud, but when I was in college, I couldn't think of a reason to insist on itFirst of all, the most important thing is the problem of survival, besides, I used to check a lot of information on Baidu, and I asked for a registered capital of 5 million to open a magazine, which I never dared to think, do I have so much money?

No, so these become dreams, so-called dreams, maybe many times they are just dreams.

But with the pace of our growth, our dreams will not change much, for example, my dream in the third year of junior high school is to open a magazine, it can be seen that my interest in literature, this interest has been retained to this day, but interest is interest, we will still be in many times, defeated by the rules and regulations of life, those realistic factors are what we have to consider, those childhood dreams, in fact, are simply an idea, we did not consider external factors, did not consider the reality of the situation, did not consider the possibility of realization, and at that time, the family's requirements were also very simple, so it doesn't matter if it can be realizedIn order not to disturb our enthusiasm, as long as they have dreams, they can make them excited by saying them, and they may not have thought about how to achieve them.

It wasn't until I graduated from college and joined the work that I knew that the reality was not as free and easy as I thought, nor was it the wandering world as I thought, compared to the sons of those rich families, they may be able to live according to their own ideas, but I can't, the heavy pressure makes me have to know my tasks and priorities, rather than leaving, the expectations of my family, and the burden of the family, in fact, in the final analysis, I am not such a casual person, can not leave so irresponsibly.

The next few things made me very helpless, since I had depression, there were a lot of precautions, in fact, why didn't I know before?

When I sometimes become a person who is not relatively free, I will know that in fact, I can live like that at the beginning, and it is also the best state, I can laugh unscrupulously, and I can live how I want, of course, under the premise of the law, but there is no absolute happiness in real life, only relative happiness.

As long as you compare with those who are not as happy as you, you will find that life is actually good, but you may not be as happy as some people, but you are still luckier than many others, the key is your own mentality.

When the rules and regulations that I didn't think were things pressed on me, I realized that in fact, life is the pursuit of relative freedom, what can't I go to some very frustrating occasions, can't read some depressive texts, etc., and I have to go to concerts or something, to make myself happy, I know that the world has invisibly restricted me, I didn't have any taboos in those years, and I didn't have the opportunity to go wherever I wanted.

In fact, it's not good, it's just that it will increase the pain of life, and only you can bear and experience these pains, so what?

I have a deep understanding that when I read Ding Xuan's remarks on female virtue that day, I directly lost sleep at night and didn't close my eyes all night, who is to blame?

Something that others can see, not necessarily you can see it, there is nothing to see, just watch it, can't control your curiosity, and then it's the price of a night of insomnia, fortunately, I changed it in time, adjusted it, or I had to take medicine to solve it, and one time, it was the suicide of a junior high school student who watched someone else's public account, in fact, this was a very common news, very normal, but I was sent away by a night of insomnia, that's it, you talk about you, don't listen to the doctor, and do your own thing, okay? ？

Finally, it happened recently, my hemorrhoids recurred, and I realized that I ate too many chili peppers some time ago, and when I ate in a restaurant, I still had a little opinion about those who don't eat chili, why can't I understand those who don't eat chili?

No chili peppers, the food is missing a taste of the same, although I am not from Sichuan and Hunan, but I still have a soft spot for chili peppers, until the hemorrhoids hurt me, walking hurts, and then consult the doctor, the doctor said, do not eat chili, do not drink, do not sit for a long time, it will not recur, but such three things I have recently occupied, no wonder there will be a recurrence, but why did I not pay attention to it before, because I was not tortured so much before, people are often like this, no matter how loyal others are, they feel that they can't listen to it, only after the pain they have experienced, can they deeply remember the lesson。

Originally, I was going to have surgery today, and it was also on the advice of the doctor, but my family didn't let me do it, because the operation was risky, and I went to the hospital early to wander around and around, still to ask for the consent of my family, but in the end, I was bombarded back by my family.

Although my family was not by my side, I found the power of their words, and finally forced me to bow down.

Later, I found out that even if I had surgery, if I didn't change my living habits and diet, I would actually recur, so why should I get a knife, so after I went home, I thought about what the doctor said, don't eat chili, don't drink, don't sit for a long time, this is another restriction on my life, in fact, these restrictions are not given to you by others, but caused by yourself, those bad habits in the early days, one day they will come back by themselves.

So in the days to come, the pepper will say goodbye, the beer will also say goodbye, and you can't be as willful as before, and you can sit for more than ten hours, only to find that sometimes even if you don't abide by these rules and regulations, in fact, there will still be some trouble to find yourself, and other aspects of life are the same, the rules are to be followed, or you will be punished, the big mistakes you make will be punished more, and the small mistakes you make will be punished smaller, anyway, many mistakes will still have to pay for yourself, why bother？