This is an emotional essay about marriage.

Recently, I saw a very controversial marriage story on Weibo.

A man wrote about his daily relationship with his wife, but they got along "sweetly", but it made many people feel a little uncomfortable after reading it.

She took on all the household chores in the house.

Men don't like to do housework after work. The wife consciously washes clothes and does housework, and takes on all the chores at home. I also knew that he didn't like to eat outside, so he got up early to prepare breakfast and lunch for the man.

The man said: I came back from work to read a book, I was very lazy, she was at home every day to do laundry and housework, buy fruits, buy snacks, cut fruits, cook, clean, everything was in order. I didn't want to eat anything outside and she went back in the morning to prepare me lunch and fruit snacks.

She felt that doing housework was a matter of course, and she never thought of letting men share something.

Occasionally, when a man does some housework, the woman takes the initiative to come over and take over the man's work, not allowing him to do anything.

The man said, "Are you going to be my babysitter?

The woman smiled and said, "There's always something to do at home."

She never got angry with him and endured all the grievances she suffered.

When he was in a bad mood, his wife silently didn't ask anything, and handled the housework alone and took care of the children. Even when they quarreled, his wife was the one who took the initiative to coax him.

Once, he forgot to bring the key and called her, but she didn't answer, so he got angry at her. As a result, when he went back in the afternoon, his wife cleaned the house and made a table of meals waiting for him to come back.

In the comments, many netizens left their questions: Did the wife sacrifice a lot in this wedding banquet?

The woman sacrificed a lot to be a good wife in exchange for this "very sweet" marriage.

In life, we often see such women:

She took the initiative to give her care;

She sacrificed her time to accompany him:

She took good care of him。。。。。。

Women give themselves again and again in exchange for a love.

Is self-sacrifice the fate of a woman?

It's okay to sacrifice a little yourself.

In love, many women are willing to give to themselves. After having a romantic relationship, it is easy for them to accommodate the man's will, even if it is to let themselves be wronged.

Wu Xin once said something that happened to his ex-boyfriend when he was in love on the show.

Her boyfriend wanted to go to the game, but she was obviously not interested in football, but she still accompanied her boyfriend to the stadium. As a result, she sat on the court and fell asleep after watching it for 10 minutes.

Sacrificing fun, sacrificing time, just to be with him.

There are even some girls who completely become a standard "love brain" as soon as they fall in love. Everything is centered on the boyfriend, and everything must give way to love.

A girl was asked by her boyfriend: "I'm going to work in another place soon, you must come with me"

It was difficult for the girl to find a suitable job in that city, but she agreed without thinking. Even if you have to give up your job, you have to give up the dream that you have always insisted on.

Hello, I'll be fine, he loves me, that's all.

This is the typical love supremacist who treats love as their all.

There is no subordination in love, you are interdependent and independent of each other.

No one will be all you are, and you will not be a part of him.

Many women tend to think that their sacrifice can be exchanged for love. But love is often not equal to sacrifice.

In the Japanese drama "Home on the Other Road", the heroine willingly gave up her career and took care of her family wholeheartedly. She coped with her picky husband over and over again, but found that her efforts could not be exchanged for his respect.

At home, she is responsible for all the housework, but when she returns home, her husband finds fault with her for not taking care of the children enough, and secretly complains to her mother-in-law on the phone.

Without gratitude, without respect, there is only merciless accusation. All her sacrifices, in his eyes, were taken for granted. And she has to bear all her accusations and the pain of giving up her career.

Knowing the end, she understood that her sacrifice was strengthened for love.

The life you want is actually what you strive for.

In fact, love does not have to be self-sacrificing.

People who blindly give are not so selfless, but more often, they stand on the moral high ground, hoping that the other party can understand their contributions, and then be grateful, so as to cherish them.

But in marriage, the other party doesn't need your seemingly selfless dedication at all, and they also want to find their own value in married life.

Marriage is an evenly matched "cooperation", and since it is paid, then it is necessary to ask for something in return in order to achieve emotional balance.

Family life is a matter for two people, so it is necessary to divide the labor, otherwise, the other party will not find the value of his own existence.

When I saw a sentence on the Internet, I thought it was true: "A good marriage relationship must be based on the relative balance of giving and receiving, but this balance is not absolute equality." When the time comes, the right amount of inequality will lead to the creation of intimacy."

A wise woman will not always be a giver in marriage, let alone stand on the commanding heights of giving to her husband. They will definitely maintain a good balance between giving and taking.

So, what should be done to maintain this relationship?

First of all, in marriage, don't only know how to give, let alone emphasize your own efforts too much. Because you have to know that it is a blessing to be appreciated. Talking about your own efforts every day will be boring.

Secondly, let the other party realize his own value in the marriage, let him respect your efforts, for example, if you cook and wash dishes, let him clean up the table, so that the other party feels that he is not an outsider.

Pay, is not to solve all the problems of the ****, pay is to drink to quench thirst, the more you pay, the more painful it will be.

In marriage, if you can jump out of the thinking limitations of always giving, don't pay for what you want, and don't lose your own giving, then you won't feel wronged.

Only by appreciating each other and giving to each other can the husband and wife maintain a long-term relationship, and when encountering things, only serious communication and understanding can keep the marriage fresh forever.

Ji Fengchen looked at it, his eyes blurred with tears, and after reading it, he wiped a handful of tears and returned the phone.

"What, is this woman particularly like you?" asked Fan Zhongwei.

"Yes, it's just me" Ji Fengchen said undeniably, "I know what to do, whether it's love or friendship, it's perfect across the distance"

"It's good to know," Fan Zhongwei said with a smile.

"But I think so," Ji Fengchen said, "there is something wrong with that man, if you really want to help your wife do something, you can say it again." That's what I did with her, and if she said it a second time, I'd do it."