Holding the apple, raising his hand and lowering his head, the middle-aged man stood in place, his eyes resting on the apple, distracted.

After a long time, the middle-aged man raised his hand and took a bite of the apple.

Silent, chewing one bite at a time, I didn't know how to chew out the sweetness of the apple,

“...... At that time, I set up a spiritual seat for her mother at home, and every day I would light a few sticks of incense for her mother, and every once in a while, I would make sacrifices. ”

Swallowing the apple, the middle-aged man looked down and said loudly,

"At that time, I will buy a few apples and place them in front of her mother's shrine. Sometimes, the apple is left for a few days, like this, sandy, dry, and dry.

I don't like to eat apples, but her mother likes to eat them, and she likes to eat them......

Each time, she washed the apple, held the apple, sat there, smiled, and ate it very happily...... Before eating, he would always wash one more and hand it to me. But every time, I didn't reach out to take it, and at most, I just walked directly past her.

...... Later, I figured out some things, probably in fact, she didn't like to eat apples that much, but the apples that fell were the best things she could eat......"

“...... When she was seven years old, I sent her to school. But from that day on, I didn't ask what happened to her at school.

Every time she came home, she would be very happy to tell me what she had done, what she had learned, and what she had seen today, but I seemed to have never listened to it, but she still said ...... every time."

The middle-aged man turned his head and looked at the closed door, still holding an apple in his hand.

“...... She is very well-behaved and has a good academic record, but I have never been to her parent-teacher conference. Every time she heard me refuse, she would lower her head for a while, then raise her head, smile and say to me, 'It's okay, the parents of the other classmates are also not going', at this time, I didn't respond to her much, I either walked away or went on with my own business. ”

“...... When she was nine years old, she started cooking for herself, and it was her birthday, I remember, because it was also her mother's death day...... I carried the prepared vegetables and some things up the hill, and did not let her follow, leaving her alone at home.

By the time I talked to her mother for a while, and came down from the mountain, it was already dark.

She stood in the doorway, looking towards the entrance of the village.

As soon as I got closer, she called me out happily and told me that she had finished cooking.

As she spoke, she was trembling all over, and she didn't know if it was when she was carrying water or pouring water into the pot, and she was wet with water......

I still don't know how long she stood at the door in that wet suit that night, facing the mountain wind at night.

I just remember that night, I scolded her for wasting rice and cooking it a little raw...... Actually, it didn't seem that I couldn't eat it, but at that time, I threw it away.

She seemed to sit at the edge of the table all the time, with her head bowed, and never said a word......

The next day, she caught a cold and was taken to the clinic by her teacher...... I didn't know until she got better from a cold. ”

As he spoke, the middle-aged man fell silent again, lowered his head, looked at the bitten apple in his hand, and was distracted,

Lian Ge glanced at the middle-aged man, didn't say anything, and set his eyes on the backyard again.

......

The hall was quiet again,

A gust of wind, through the gap in the top of the backyard wall, through the backyard door, gently disturbed the incandescent lamp hanging in the hall,

The shadow of the person under the lamp swayed.

“...... When I was younger, I had three older sisters. The youngest was two years older than me, and the oldest was fifteen years older than me. At the time of giving birth to me, my mother was close to forty years old. ”

Raising his head slightly, the middle-aged man looked at the flickering incandescent lamp and continued,

“...... Since I was a child, my mother told me that I was the only seedling in the family, and I would take a few more children in the future so that I could continue the incense for our family and pass it on to the next generation. At that time, I couldn't understand why I was the only seedling when I had three older sisters.

But my father told me this, and the people in the village told me this, and even the eldest sister told me this, and slowly, it seemed that I also thought it was right.

At that time, there was something delicious at home, I always ate it first, and my three sisters didn't rob me, and my sister, who was only two years older than me, just watched and swallowed saliva greedily, and it was like this since I was a child, I seemed to think it was right, it was taken for granted, I felt that I felt that the boy was the most important thing in the family, and I felt that my three sisters were just living in our house, 'people from other people's families'"

The breeze gradually subsided, and the incandescent lights gradually stopped shaking.

“...... In that famine year, there were natural disasters one after another, the fields were dry, the grain was not harvested, the fruits and wild vegetables all over the mountains were picked clean, and even the fish in the river seemed to be gone.

First, eat porridge with sweet potatoes, then wild vegetables with gruel, two handfuls of rice, and an iron pot of water.

When the rice was served, my mother always scooped out the rice at the bottom of the pot with a separate spoon, and served a bowl to my father and half a bowl to me, so that after scooping up the rice, there seemed to be only a little rice left in the pot, and some rice-flavored rice soup...... My dad is because he has to work, and I'm ......."

As he spoke, the middle-aged man looked at the lamp and fell silent,

“...... The first one who couldn't stay up was my eldest sister, she always thought about others so much, and the only rice left in the pot also went into the stomachs of my two younger sisters, she just drank that little rice soup and ate that little wild vegetables.

...... That morning, people from the village saw her in front of my yard.

At that time, there was a tree planted in front of the yard, and she was under it, with leaves in her mouth......"

"Then, it's my second sister...... She was lying on the bed, her whole body was very weak, her whole body was so swollen that she couldn't get out of bed.

At noon that day, I secretly took my bowl of rice and went into the house, wanting to give her the bowl of rice.

She couldn't lift her hand anymore, so I put the bowl to her mouth, and before I could feed her, she sucked it desperately into her mouth...... But at this time, my mother came in, snatched the bowl of rice again, dragged me, left the bed, and then handed the bowl back to me, and then ate it herself, and was not allowed to give it to my sister, and I got angry and asked her why, and she told me that I was the only male in the family.

...... I was right next to it, crying and screaming, watching my sister swallow.

Finally, it's my youngest sister...... Her legs also began to swell, and she lay in bed with nowhere to go...... She lay on the bed and looked at me.

She told me that she hated me and that if it weren't for me, the other two sisters wouldn't have died.

She asked me, "Incense, incense, is it really that important?" Didn't she and her two sisters have the same mother as me? Aren't she and her two other sisters their children?

At last...... She asked me twice more why, and she glared at me, and it was gone. ”

The middle-aged man said, lowered his head again, and looked at the apple in his hand,

After a pause, the middle-aged man raised his hand and took another bite,

Chewing one bite at a time, he fell silent again.

Turning his gaze back, Lian Ge looked at the middle-aged man again, and paused slightly,

The little mouse squatting on his shoulder, also holding the apple, turned his head, and looked at the middle-aged man.