I've been busy with my grandmother's funeral for the last few days.

At the same time, I have been thinking a lot about it in the last few days, and I have also found that I am an ugly person.

When my grandmother was alive, I always thought that I had to work hard and work hard to make money, because only then would I not be afraid to buy things because of the price problem when I went to visit her.

The last time I visited her at the old house on August 15, she was already in bed and couldn't get up, because she fell when she got up one night.

At that time, I bought a lot of delicious food for her to bring and fed her, and when I fed her, I was still thinking that grandma would be able to eat so much, and she would definitely get better soon.

She also talked to me a lot, and it seemed like she would get better soon.

I thought so at the time.

Then she told me to visit her once every two or three days. I didn't pay much attention to it because I thought she would get better soon.

I was still thinking that I was going to make more money, and when winter was coming, I could buy her two thicker clothes, and I could buy her some pork for her to make bacon.

She had always liked the silver bracelet I bought her, and I thought I could buy her another silver necklace or something, so that she could show off in front of others.

In short, my mind was full of money, but I didn't take her words to heart.

After that, I gave my dad dozens of dollars every two days to buy meat for my grandmother, but I didn't go.

The reason I gave myself was that it was too far to walk to the old house, and it would be easier for my dad to go by motorcycle.

Moreover, my aunt will definitely take care of her as well. I think.

So, I went about my own thing with peace of mind, until a few days ago my dad suddenly said to me, your grandma is gone.

I was stunned. It dawned on me that from now on, there would be no grandmother.

Even if I had money, she wouldn't be able to enjoy it.

My mother, as a strong woman, has always been at odds with my grandmother since she married my father.

My grandmother was a bit stronger than my mother, so she didn't think well of my mother since she married my father.

Therefore, since I was a child, I felt that I did not have the love of my grandmother.

I always feel that she loves my aunt's son and daughter more.

Everybody says that, and I think so from the bottom of my heart. Even my cousin, who had lived with my grandmother for a few years, never came back after leaving my grandmother's house for this reason.

Those years, he said, felt like a parasitic fence. We do all the dirty work, and the cousins and cousins of the aunt's family don't have to do anything. As for us, we will be scolded if we don't do well.

I told him the news of my grandmother's death a few days ago, and he still couldn't let go of the past, and he didn't say that he would come back or not, and he didn't say anything else.

He only said, little cousin, I haven't seen her in fifteen years.

I said that from now on, in this world, we will have one less person who really cares about us.

He said, don't be too upset.

I said, how can we not be sad, from now on, there will be one less person with whom we are related by blood.

He still didn't say anything.

I felt a little disheartened, remembering that when my grandfather died, my attitude was also so lukewarm.

At that time, I was only a teenager, and I didn't feel sad, I didn't feel sad, I just felt that it was nothing to die when a person was old, but it was just a common thing in the world.

It wasn't until I grew up and my grandfather appeared in my dreams again and again that I realized that I didn't have a grandfather anymore.

I don't have a grandfather anymore. I often wake up crying from my dreams.

It was probably because I was not sad when my grandfather passed away, so I have been living in self-blame, dreaming again and again in my dreams that my grandfather, who has passed away for many years, has come back to life.

I cooked the meal and called him home for dinner.

Again and again, again and again, his voice and smile were clearly presented in the dream, as real as if it were real.

For years, the dream never stopped.

Self-blame, guilt, like a shadow, always follow me.

So, there is always a grandfather in my books who is missed.

Grandparents in the golden mountain forest. I have a lonely old man in a mountain forest, my dad has grandparents in the plant system, and I am still the grandfather who is most missed by Liu Qingshan.

They're just my grandfathers.

Now, my grandmother has passed away, and I have learned to be sad, knowing that from now on, I will have no grandmother, and I also know that I will secretly shed tears.

However, I did not learn early to love a person while he is alive, instead of waiting for him to die and be sad when he leaves this world.

At that time, no matter how many tears are shed, it will be in vain.

Money will never run out, but people won't wait for you forever.

Therefore, love should be early, not empty.

Now, I may have learned.