That's right, I just don't want to think about anything, in order to make myself feel nothing, to live a numb life without thoughts......

I don't want to say anything more, let me be a numb cold-blooded animal!

Let me be, this all-permeating Divine Spear!

................................................

Hikaru Wada's speculation on the concept of [Divine Spear] is generally correct.

Indeed, Yan Shuangying did not use the [Divine Spear] at first. Moreover, he did not continue to use the [Sharpshooter] to pursue.

However, this does not mean that [Sharpshooter] cannot be fired in bursts.

Now, Yan Shuangying doesn't want to think about anything, whether he is the perpetrator or the victim.

He just wants to prove himself by taking down the enemy in front of him.

He was already like that straight fist.

It's already like the title it's been given.

Like that single-minded focus.

True to its name, it turned into a handful of emotionless ............

Sharpshooter!!!!

Syllable!!!!!!!!!!!!

The loud sound of the heart's heart was heard again.

As this voice sounded, Hikaru Wada once again flew heavily in the opposite direction.

He kept roaring and shouting in his heart to hold on, hold on!!

His consciousness was still fading away............

Because the sound was so terrifying, I couldn't help but want to run away.

Loud sounds are often frightening, like artillery fire and firecrackers.

When I was a child, there were always children who were afraid of the sound of firecrackers.

Even if many people become adults, they are still afraid of thunder.

But what Hikaru heard in his mind was a completely different voice.

It was a strange sound coming from my own body.

It is very different from the loud noise of the outside world, and it is very terrifying.

Gabba, with a crunch.

Hikaru Wada's consciousness drifted to the past with this voice.

It's this familiar voice again......

I will never forget this voice, this creepy ......

I don't know how to describe the strange sound.

Somehow, when I was little, I loved to cry.

There may be a reason for that, probably a ...... A means of releasing psychological pressure in an uneasy environment.

My family is not rich, nor is it happy, and I don't think there is a worse family in the world.

A scumbag dad who drinks all day long and daydreams about lottery tickets......

Because I'm afraid of loneliness, I can't leave the weak mother of the scum daddy......

When I was younger, my father would always take out his anger on my mother.

He scolded her for being unproductive, scolded her for being incompetent, and scolded her for being a burden and a burden.

He also always wielded violence and beat his mother.

When I was younger, I couldn't do anything but cry hard.

And whenever my mother, who had a blue nose and swollen face, came to comfort me, she would always say to me......

"A man can't shed tears, let alone let people see his weakness, you have to be a different man from your father, standing up to the sky...... Macho. ”

At that time, I didn't understand what my mother meant by 'manly'.

What exactly is a man?

In this way, the hellish days passed quietly, and I always secretly did my homework in the corner of the room, for fear of seeing the man's face, so as not to make him unhappy and angry with my mother.

Until one day, when I was in junior high school.

That day, my father drank alone outside and drank late, and lost playing cards with his fox friends at the lottery station, and was in a bad mood.

But my mother had to wait for my father to come back for dinner anyway, and so we waited until one o'clock in the morning.

But when he finally returned home, his father not only didn't appreciate it, but also began to beat his mother again under the pretext that the food was cold.

And the mother just held her head like that, not resisting at all.

That punch hit my mother's body, but my heart hurt more and more, and it hurt more and more.

Eventually, I couldn't stand the pain anymore.

I ran to the kitchen and picked up a fish knife that was too big for me when I was still in junior high school.

I walked up to the scumbag like that, my hands clutching the knife tightly, but my body was shaking.

I shouted at him, "Look at me killing you!!"

He heard my shouting, and saw the knife in my hand, and the whole body fell down, as if he had woken up for half a minute.

After that, I did as I said I would, without the slightest hesitation.

If things don't turn out as I expected, I can indeed kill him.

However, at that moment, a force that I could not resist pulled me aside.

It's the mother.

The mother no longer holds her head to protect herself, but protects the scumbag.

She took me by the arm, put me behind her, and yelled at me, "What are you doing? Are you crazy? You're going to kill your father?"

Father?

I don't think that man is my father.

At least, he didn't do anything that a father should do.

He did not fulfill his duty as a father.

I don't understand, I don't understand.

Why did the mother protect the man?

This is too early for me, who is still young in the world.

But I think that my move should be what my mother called 'manhood'.

The man was stunned for a moment, then broke the mood, went to the kitchen, and began to drink alone again.

My mother snatched the knife from my hand and put it down.

She took a good look at my face and then wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes.

Then she took me in her arms.

It's weird.

Today's strange mother, the mother who puzzled me, her arms were as warm as ever.

She opened her mouth and said, "Xiaoguang has grown up, and he is such a big person." ”

For some reason, her tone made me cry even more.

I don't know why, but I'm crying.

"That's right...... Xiaoguang is also a man, and he will protect his mother......"

At that time, my heart broke.

There's nothing I can protect anymore.

I couldn't do anything.

What kind of man am I?

Such a me..................

I wiped my snot from my mother's shoulder with tears in my eyes............

What kind of manhood is that???

In the middle of the night, I was still asleep when I was awakened by the sound.

Outside the bedroom, the sound of punching, kicking and invective could be heard in the kitchen.

"Do I want you to protect me? Do you protect me? See how you teach this bastard?"

"You can't do it well if you are left home with children?"

"Teach him to kill me, is this what you taught?

That night, I didn't listen to my mother and became a man.

Tears soaked the pillowcase and seeped into the pillow, and I couldn't stop crying.

........................

By the time I got to high school, I had lost interest in learning.

Now I just want to get out of school quickly, make more money quickly, and take my mother out of that hellish place.

Get away from that person.

In this way, I mixed with the gangsters in society, even in school, I was just messing around.

I combed my nose and put on my special attack suit, and I looked like I didn't like anyone.

I haven't grown up, but I already look like an adult.

And my purpose in doing this is to try to make that person look unpleasant.

Let him know that the son of 'waste' is also a waste.

That way he would be angry with me, not at his mother.

And that's it, for the rest of the day.

His anger shifted from his mother to mine.

But compared to the pain and powerlessness in his heart at that time, that person's fist was not worth mentioning at all.

Maybe it's because I'm used to being beaten because of my rough skin and thick flesh, or maybe it's because I'm a man.

The man hit me harder and harder, so much so that he started pounding things instead of his own hands.

On the day I deliberately pushed against him and let him release his temper and strength on me first.

He picked up a metal clothes pole and banged on me.

To be honest, it hurts, but I can handle it.

Compared to the pain endured by the mother, this flesh wound is really nothing.

Maybe he didn't react when he saw me, and he didn't have a good time.

He picked up the chair again and slammed it down on my shoulder.

Bang dang.

The whole chair was smashed, which showed that he must have used all his strength.

Gaba.

There was a crunch.

Yes, it's this familiar voice......

I will never forget this voice, this creepy ......

I don't know how to describe the strange sound.

The sound came from within the body, far drowning out the sound of the chair crumbling.

My collarbone was broken.

At that time, I was in tears because of the severe pain.

After yelling, he could only cover his wounds and convulse on the floor.

The man seemed satisfied, and pushed the door open, presumably to drink again.

But that's fine, so that my mother will be safe, I thought as I slowly endured the pain and leaned against the corner.

At that time, I still had tears in my eyes because of the pain.

That day, I had to lean against the corner, light a lighter, and comfort myself with a cigarette.

I'm not the 'man' my mother wants.

It's just a cowardly, powerless, slightly more resistant child than others.

........................

Later, the man had advanced liver cancer, leaving his mother alone and dying.

But the debts he left behind keep coming to his door.

This scumbag, even if he dies, will cause trouble for others.

'You have to be a man who stands up to the heavens, and a man is not allowed to weep.' A man is not allowed to be weak. ’

I wanted to be a man, so I ganged up and resolutely drove away those who collected debts.

I took to the streets to protect my mother.

In order to become a real man, I took to the streets.

To prove that I will never be weak, I defeated countless enemies and cocky bastards on the streets.

Manly, standing up to the sky, I have never fallen, I have always stood on the street.

The man's consciousness returned from the streets to the arena of thousands of spectators.

There was a heart-rending pain in the ribs, and based on past experience, three of them must have broken completely......

But he's a man, and he's not going to yell anymore.

(Mother, I'm already a man, I won't be weak anymore and cry anymore...... ）

"Come on. ”