"But I know in my own heart that this is not the case, and my feelings for her have long surpassed that of friends. That kind of attachment, lovesickness, and concern are all special feelings that only arise between couples, and as I grow older, I gradually understand that I am in love with her. ”

I raised my hand and said, "If, I mean if, Tian Tian is sick, and your kidneys can save her." ”

"I give her, one is not enough, two. ”

"Well, you're much better than some of the old men. ”

"I was very aware of this emotion, but at the same time I was so painful that I even began to doubt myself and feel that I was an abnormal person. I like Tian Tian out of the love of my lover, the kind of like I want to be a partner with her. And I think Tian Tian likes me, maybe it's just the kind of love of her best friend, she just wants to be friends with me for life. ”

I muttered in a low voice, "What's inside, Tian Tian shouldn't be for you to bend, right?"

Bo Ruolai smiled, "Of course not, this contradictory idea has always been pressed in my heart, just after the college entrance examination I decided, I want to tell Tian Tian this idea, I want to confess my heart to her." If she can't accept it, then I'm willing to be her best friend on call, but I won't apply for the same school as her, because I can't interfere with her life with my own selfish feelings. ”

"So... Did you succeed?"

"Hahaha, yes, I succeeded, as I said, I have been smooth since I was a child, and I have not suffered any setbacks. After I expressed my feelings to Tian Tian, she was stunned at first, Xu never thought that I already had such feelings for her. But she quickly accepted, she said..."

Speaking of this, she deliberately grabbed Meng Tiantian and teased her, "What were you talking about at the time?"

Meng Tiantian glanced at the two of us embarrassedly and whispered, "You are more attractive than boys." ”

"Haha, yes, that's it, when I heard this, my heart was about to explode, for the first time, I felt that the emotions expressed in the original words were really not exaggerated and imaginary, and when my heart was full of joy, I felt that I had the whole world. Li Mu, have you ever had one?"

I took Sur's hand, "Of course, this is my world. ”

Su Er withdrew his hand embarrassedly and said, "In that case, aren't you very good, both sides get what they want." ”

Bo Ruolai stopped his excitement and tilted his head to think for a while, "There is no problem between the two of us, there was no before, there is no now, and there will be no in the future." The problem is with my family. ”

I immediately understood that although the acceptance of homosexuality is quite high these days, it can only be relative. Again, if this matter is put on others, you just look at it, and if it really falls to your side, you will know whether you can really accept it.

Young people don't talk about it, but the idea of the older generation, if you talk about anything else, even if you don't marry Dink, you have to go to the gallows, let alone gay. It is estimated that Bo Ruolai is stuck in the hurdle of his parents and can't get through.

"Actually, my parents are very kind to me, and they are both very affectionate, especially my father, as I said, he is a teacher, he has taught countless people in his life, but he is a good gentleman at home. Whenever there is anything, he comes according to my mother's will, and he loves me in every way. In contrast, my mother has always played the role of singing white face. ”

"The requirements for me since I was a child were all put forward by my mother, although they are not excessive, but they have to be implemented in place, and she is a very traditional person. She can let me play games on the premise of completing my homework, can let me choose my favorite clothes to wear to school, and can let me choose the major I want to apply for college, but when it comes to relationships, it is particularly strict. ”

"When I was studying, she repeatedly ordered me not to fall in love. It just so happened that I wasn't interested in boys, but I did what she wanted. After graduation, she began to urge me to find a partner, although she said that she wanted me to find what I liked, but getting married early and having children is her biggest concern at present. Getting married and having children is not something that can be done with someone I like. ”

Bo Ruolai pulled out a pack of cigarettes from her satchel, and when she lit it skillfully, she looked at me and pushed the cigarette case towards me, and I waved my hand, "I just quit for a short time, and I'm holding on." ”

"Do you think that the girl smokes and is particularly indecent?"

"No, no, no, when I used to work in an advertising agency, many girls smoked, and in my heart, it was a good tool to relieve stress, and of course it was harmful to health. ”

"I didn't smoke before, I only started in the past two years, and I don't smoke often, but sometimes, I want to smoke one when I hold it in my heart. ”

Meng Tiantian hugged her shoulders with some distress and put her head on it. Bo Ruolai snuffed out the cigarette after two puffs, and brushed the hair on the front of his forehead, "Do you know? Actually, I am a very assertive person, so even if I think my parents will oppose this kind of thing, then let them object, I will live like this with Tian Tian for the rest of my life, and my obligation to them is to provide for the elderly, not to get married and have children." ”

Su Er said, "Maybe you can try to communicate with them, maybe they won't be so opposed?"

Bo Ruolai smiled bitterly, "Suer, people have a very subtle psychology. It's just that the more you oppose me, the more justified I become, and I'm not doing anything wrong, am I? You're against me just because you don't understand me, and you're not me, so what's the matter with me?"

"But the other way around, it's not so easy to deal with. In addition to wanting me to get married and have children as soon as possible, as I said, they have been obedient to me, they have never asked me for anything, they have not asked me to be the first in the exam, they have not asked me to be the focus, they have not pointed to anyone's child and said that you will be like her in the future, nothing. ”

I nodded, "In response to that sentence, it's hard to beat a smiling person with a fist." ”

"Yes, that's it, I think I suddenly went and told them that your daughters don't like men, they don't marry men, they have children. And she likes a girl, and she wants to stay with this girl for the rest of her life. Whether this is a merciless blow to them, whether I have been born and raised for more than 20 years and have never hurt my parents in the slightest, whether they should accept such a fact, I don't know. ”

In other words, the reason why you don't dare to confess to them is more often because you are afraid that they will not be able to accept such a thing, so you will be depressed, which will bring you a deep sense of guilt. ”

"Well, so at first I had to run away, using my youth and my job as an excuse, but it was useless to escape, it wouldn't solve anything, and over time, not getting married would become another source of depression for them. ”

"So you came up with such a bad move?"

Bo Ruolai felt embarrassed, she lit another cigarette, spit it out, and said, "I have to admit that it's wrong for me to do this, I'm using Gan Yun, I'm sorry for him." ”

"No, what do you think? I'm curious, you said that if you really become boyfriend and girlfriend with Lao Gun, what will you do then? If you want to satisfy your parents, is it difficult to get married? According to your temperament, Lao Gun will be designated to be a widow after marriage, and what will happen next? Wait for him to file for divorce?"

"I... I didn't think about it that much. I was just trying to find a man, get married, and get a quick divorce. In this way, I can tell my parents that I was cheated on by the other party, and I suffered emotional setbacks and never wanted to get married again. And with the divorce certificate, it is estimated that I will not have any sense of existence in the marriage market, and I will delay things in the future. ”

Suer shook his head, "You're not right. ”

"Yes, I know, it's selfish and deceitful. ”

"No, I mean you can't do this, if your parents are really like you say, then whether your daughter is gay, or your daughter can't get married, or your daughter is divorced, the pain caused to your parents should be almost the same. On the contrary, I think the latter hurts more. ”

"But... But I can't think of a better way. ”

"Ruolai, you are actually trapped by yourself, it is not your parents who can't get by, but yourself. You feel guilty because you think your parents are going to be upset, so you try to find a reasonable reason by hurting yourself. This reason is used to gag your parents' mouths, but if they don't say it, will they feel better in their hearts?"

"At the end of the day, you're not looking for the right solution. ”

"That's... What's the right solution?"

"Tell your parents the truth about your situation, whether they accept it or not, but they will eventually understand why you are doing it. Communication always comes first, just like you and Tian Tian, if you didn't confess boldly, then you could only guess each other's thoughts for the rest of your life, and then find reasons for yourself to live in your own world. But even if Tian Tian rejected you back then, you at least know why, right? ”

Meng Tiantian raised his head and said to Bo Ruolai: "Ruolai, I also think that I should confess to my uncle and aunt, otherwise, I will also feel uncomfortable." ”

Bo Ruolai was still thinking, and I joked: "Ruolai, I think, don't think too deeply about this, let's not talk about homosexuality." Let's talk about boyfriend and girlfriend dating. It's like suppose I and Su Er, you can see what conditions Su Er has, and I'm just a bastard. If we exclude our relationship with each other, then in this case, their family will definitely not agree to Su Er being with me. ”

"And then Su Er still loves me so much, after seeing my parents, my parents are desperately opposed, but I live with Su Er like this, I change my mind and become a new person, take care of Su Er properly, in the long run, I think I still have a chance, right. ”

"You mean, I'll make this relationship public with them, whether they accept it or oppose it, we'll just live like this, with facts?"

There is no mistake