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The world is so big, people are in a hurry, and we are always meeting, rubbing shoulders, and passing by all our lives. Some people become close friends, some people become passers-by, but life never stops for anyone.

I was born in the countryside on the outskirts of Licheng, grew up in the countryside, ordinary, like most rural children, with stubbornness engraved in my bones and inferiority hidden in my temperament.

I am Xia He, born in the 90s. I have the imagination of the post-90s, but I don't have the courage of the post-90s. So after graduation, like most people who do nothing, I returned to my hometown of Licheng with the peace of mind that "my parents are not far away".

When it comes to me, the most common words are probably mediocre in appearance and mediocre experience. I haven't experienced any storms and waves, and I haven't had a love story with twists and turns. I always felt that I had wasted more than 20 years of time and wanted to leave something for myself, so when I was a year or five, I began to want to write a story that belonged to me, but after several strokes, I found that my youth did not have any past to sing and cry about. Now, four years have passed in the blink of an eye, and I have turned out the old copywriting on a whim, wanting to continue writing this article, just to record the people and things I met in the most glamorous years of my youth.

Their appearance may have mistaken my life, or it may have illuminated my entire gray and sour youth.

- Xia He

It never snows in the winter in Licheng, but the cold wind makes people feel cold.

The wind on the roof of the sixteenth floor of the Chengxin Building seemed to be even stronger, blowing on the face as if someone had cut it with a knife.

Xia He looked at the traffic downstairs, his eyes were sour and swollen, but he couldn't cry.

What is it like to jump from such a high place?

Over the past year or so, she has made many assumptions, if she also jumped from here, would it not be so uncomfortable, and would the guilt in her heart disappear a little?

She felt very uncomfortable in her heart, and Ni Ke's hysterical, desperate, and disgusting words kept lingering in her mind, tormenting her so much that she couldn't sleep:

"Xia He...... I want you to remember me forever! You remember! I have been harmed by you all my life! I hate you!! hahaha......" Ni Ke's words were full of despair, mixed with the whirring wind and a little broken.

"Coco, don't scare me, please, don't scare me......" At that time, Xia He was crying and begging her while running, she really never thought that she would choose to leave this world that was not fair to her in such a decisive way.

"Do you know how much I need you? Xia He, but every time, under the banner of being good for me, you prevent me from hiding from me, deceiving me and harming me, this time, I want you to see with your own eyes how I left you, hehe. Ni Ke was probably sitting in this position at that time, she was not afraid, she just said these words to her in a calm tone.

Xia He grabbed the window and looked at the direction of the intersection in the distance, she was standing in that position at that time, eagerly waiting for the flowing car to pass by, crying and looking at the integrity building, she couldn't see Ni Ke upstairs, she was out of breath, she just wanted to cross the road quickly, run to her side, and persuade her.

But it's too late for anything, this suicide was premeditated by Ni Ke, she never thought of continuing to live, nor did she think about waiting for others to rescue her, her life was already absurd and uninhibited, she thought, if she died, she would be clean, and she would be able to see him when she died.

She calmly looked at Xia He, who was rushing in the distance, and stopped anxiously at the crossroads, and then poked out half of her head from the window, and smiled evilly at the corner of her mouth, it's really good, and finally let you say goodbye to me, but, in this life, I don't want you to forget me, you have so many friends, how can you let them easily take my place?

"Xia He, look at the sixteenth floor, I'm here!" Ni Ke finished speaking, climbed to the window and sat down.

"Oh my God, look! Someone is about to jump off the building!!" I don't know who saw Ni Ke flying in red upstairs at a glance! screamed loudly, and some people gathered downstairs to watch the excitement, pointing and pointing. There was a lot of discussion, and some people were in a hurry to call the police.

Xia He has been staring at the integrity building, as soon as Ni Ke climbed up to the window, she saw that the bright red dress was blown by the wind, she opened her arms, like a bird that has been free, jumped down, and the sharp wind tore her red dress! Xia He anxiously rushed into the traffic, desperately rushed in the direction of Ni Ke, and shouted in horror: "Coco, don't! Don't !!"

"Xia He, it turns out that the high place is really cold, goodbye!" Ni Ke closed her eyes and felt the pleasure of a sharp fall, until this moment, she had no fear, no remorse, but really felt relief.

She seemed to see Xia He rushing across the intersection regardless of the vehicle, but it was all over, really over. The roar of vehicles and the uproar of the crowd faded away, farewell, this noisy world.

Her eyes appeared in front of her as the shy face of the young man blushing when she first met, hey, we met again, it's so good.

The scene was blurred with flesh and blood, the sound of whistles sounded in the distance, and some of the onlookers stood far away with their eyes covered, and some stayed away from the scene in shock, talking and sighing...... No one dared to step forward.

Xia He's legs went limp, she watched her hair grow small, jumped down from the height of the sixteenth floor with hatred for her, desperate like a butterfly with stump wings fell into the abyss, she watched her brain burst with her own eyes, and watched her body slowly stained red with blood...... Suffuse...... The gray floor around her was gradually swallowed up, and she heard her words that were finally so calm that she couldn't hear emotions and seemed to be mixed with hideous words: "All my life, I have been harmed by you......"

Xia He's nightmare began from this moment......

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I hurt you...... She clutched the window uncomfortably, feeling like she was about to lose her breath, and she watched everything happen, but there was nothing she could do......

"Xia He, Xia He, Xia He, I'm here, I'm here, look at me!" Shao Jinnian shook Xia He who was trembling all over, the wind on the sixteenth floor filled her thin clothes, and he hugged her tightly, for fear that she would continue to be silent in his memories and couldn't extricate himself.

"I'm sorry...... I'm sorry...... I'm sorry......" Her eyes glazed over, and she kept repeating the phrase.

"That's not your fault! Xia He, listen to me, it's not your fault, you didn't do anything wrong, you can't attribute Ni Ke's extremes to your own fault. He hugged her tighter and tighter, the warm liquid on his chest unconsciously relieving him.

It's been a year, and she's finally crying. She was in his arms, and the silent tears at the beginning slowly turned into crying.

"Don't be afraid, I'll always be there. Shao Jinnian rubbed her chin against the hair on the top of her head and comforted her softly: "Just cry, we will get through this time together, and everything will slowly get better, believe me." ”

Xia He nodded slightly, his embrace was clean and warm, making her feel steady and stable.

The doctor said that she was depressed, smiling depression, this kind of illness is very common, and there are many reasons, they are casual on the surface, sunny and positive, and the only manifestation is that they are depressed late at night, negative and dull, and feel that life is meaningless.

How could she be depressed? Isn't it right to work hard every day? She has a reason to live well, and why does she suddenly feel that life is no fun?

The doctor must have made a mistake, there were two such good doctors around her, and they never said she was depressed.

Yes, they are the reason for me to live well, Ni Ke, one day, I will forget you, don't mention it, you want me to remember you forever, I don't want to !!

Xia He stubbornly opened her eyes, looking at the first scene of Ni Ke's suicide, where she fell, she wanted to get up from! Since she plucked up the courage to come here today, she must overcome her guilt for Ni Ke, and she must come out of the shadow left by Ni Ke and return to the sun.

She will always be born --- the sun.

Xia He raised his head from Shao Jinnian's chest, his eyes were red and swollen, and he looked out of the window on the sixteenth floor, where the gray sky was connected with the city.

A year ago, Ni Ke committed suicide from this position regardless of everything, and died together, as well as the optimistic and cheerful Xia He in the past.

But if time could be repeated, she thought, she would still choose the same thing to stop her......

"Let's go back!" she leaned weakly against Shao Jinnian's side in a hoarse voice, letting the tiredness sweep over her body.

"Good. He carefully held her and spoke softly, his eyes full of pity: This woman in his arms, he Shao Jinnian, has decided in this life.

The wind is whistling and tearing the streets and alleys of Licheng, fading away from the excitement of the past, and also fading away the youthfulness of those young people who don't know the taste of sorrow.