So, the little girl brought a small chair from the side and placed it in front of me, and she stepped on it and stood up, gently caressing my face with her chubby little hands.

Comforting with a milky voice: "Beautiful sister, don't cry, Niuniu can lend you the rag doll to play, okay?"

It turned out that I was in tears before I knew it.

I haven't shed a tear in a long time.

Because in this world of the jungle, I need to be strong.

Even if it's strong in disguise.

I can't let anyone see my vulnerability.

Because you are found to be vulnerable, there are few people who really help you, and there are many people who fall into the well.

That's why I keep my suffering in my heart.

So I swallowed it with tears and swallowed it with my teeth.

It's just that now in front of such an innocent and ignorant little girl, I will be so out of shape, right?

"The pretty sister didn't cry, the pretty sister was just fascinated by the wind. I gently lifted the little girl from the chair.

Lovingly stroked her hair.

The little girl jumped happily, but after thinking about it, she handed the doll to mine.

"Beautiful sister, then you can also play with Niuniu's rag doll, because Niuniu knows that the beautiful sister said that she was fascinated by the wind, but she was actually unhappy. Because my sister was always fascinated by the wind before, Niuniu could see that her sister was also unhappy at that time. ”

This kid is simply too sensible.

Let my heart ripple with a stronger motherly emotion.

Maybe every woman longs to be a mother from the bottom of her heart.

I suddenly remembered that when I went shopping in the supermarket the other day, the candy promotion counter gave me a few pieces of candy with beautiful packaging.

So I took out a piece of green fruit candy and handed it to the little girl.

"Niuniu, that beautiful sister also gives you a gift. ”

The little girl looked at the piece of candy.

I know, actually, she loves it.

I even saw her lick her tongue, but she shook her head, "I don't want to." ”

"Why? It's delicious. I continued.

"Because my mother won't let me...... No, it's my sister who won't let me!"

The little girl finished speaking subconsciously, and then suddenly covered her mouth with her hand.

At this time, Li Pingping also walked in with a good urinal.

Heard this sentence from the little girl.

The little girl knew that she had said the wrong thing, and her big eyes turned red all at once.

Shrouded in a layer of fog.

Tears were about to fall.

waved his little hand and said to me: "It's my sister, it's Niuniu's sister, it's not my mother, it's not Niuniu's mother......"

It's just that she is really wronged and pitiful now, and in the end, she finally cried.

Li Pingping hurriedly walked over, hugged the little girl, rubbed her hair, and said softly: "Niuniu is good, Niuniu doesn't cry, don't blame you, it's okay for this beautiful sister to know our secret, the beautiful sister won't tell it." ”

The little girl raised her teary face and looked at me with a look of anticipation: "Beautiful sister, do you really keep a secret?

I looked at Li Pingping, and then at Niu Niu.

Suddenly, everything understood.

Li Pingping is not Niuniu's sister, she is Niuniu's mother.

It's just that in front of outsiders, this mother and daughter can only be called sisters.

It sounds ridiculous.

Not only ridiculous, but also excessive.

But when you think about it, it's a very sad thing.

It's obviously his mother, but he can't call his mother.

It's obviously his daughter, but he claims to be his sister.

If there is no emotion, that's it.

But I can see that Li Pingping really loves Niuniu.

Since you love so much and can't say it, it must be a last resort.

Niuniu is also very dependent on Li Pingping.

Since she is so dependent, she can only be careful to avoid shouting wrong, and the little girl must be very sad in her heart.

So I nodded vigorously: "Niuniu, don't worry, the beautiful sister won't say it." ”

Niuniu finally burst into tears and laughed: "Beautiful sister, I knew that you were a good person, and in the future, you, me and Bubu, the three of us will be friends." ”

Li Pingping also breathed a sigh of relief, but I could see that her eyes were also red.

In order to hide the tears in the corners of her eyes, Li Pingping went over to wash her face.

When I came back, she took out the candy in my hand and handed it to the little girl: "Niuniu, you can eat what my beautiful sister gave you, because it is a gift from a good friend." ”

Niuniu happily took the candy.

Li Pingping then looked at me, I understood her eyes, and we walked out of her rental house together.

The yard was very chaotic, so Li Pingping took me out the back door and went up.

Only then did I realize that there was a small reservoir in the back.

Although the water in the reservoir is dirty and full of dead branches and leaves, it is good enough to be quiet.

We found a clean place to sit down.

Li Pingping took out a lighter from her body and pulled out two cigarettes.

Give me one.

Signal me if I want to?

I shook my head in refusal.

"I won't. ”

Li Pingping didn't persuade again, she lit a cigarette and stuffed it into her mouth.

But after only one sip, she coughed violently.

"Actually, I don't either, I learn from people, it looks cooler. Li Pingping laughed self-deprecatingly.

Then we both fell silent.

After a minute, Li Pingping spoke first: "Before, I didn't let Niuniu eat things given by others, especially things given by men. Because you can't even imagine how dirty some people will be, and how dark some people's hearts will be. ”

I nodded in agreement.

In such a society, it is not too careful to be a woman.

"Niu Niu is very well-behaved. I complimented from the bottom of my heart.

"yes, Niu Niu is very well-behaved...... Huanxi, you can already see it, right?'s real relationship between me and Niu Niu?" she asked me.

I can't lie.

Only nodding his head.

"I'm not going to say it. I went on to promise.

"Yes, I believe in you. Li Pingping finished speaking.

Then he asked me, "Don't you think it's strange to you, rejoice, why do I believe you?"

I also found out about this.

I found that Li Pingping had a very good impression of me.

I'm a little baffled.

If she were a man, I would understand.

But she's a woman and won't be ...... to me No, she has a daughter.

I hurriedly stopped my thoughts.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I've seen you before. Li Pingping smiled.

Then he explained: "A few months ago, there was a wedding in the park, but suddenly a crazy woman came out and said that I didn't agree with ......"

As soon as she said that, I understood.

She was talking about Ma Mingming.

"Were you there that day?" I asked.

"yes, I'm on the side, basically witnessing the whole process, and listening to the people around me, so I already know what you are. Li Pingping's answer relieved the doubts in my heart.

Then Li Pingping looked ahead and smiled bitterly: "You already understand my profession." You must look down on me in your heart, don't you? You think I'm a very cheap woman, selling her body for money, and being willing to degenerate, right?"

I shook my head.

Not comfort.

But I really didn't feel it.

In my hometown, here, in fact, I have seen a lot of women doing this business.

In my opinion, most of the women in this line are poor people.

It's all forced to live.

It's like I had to commit to Ma Dashao in the first place, and we have no other choice.

It's not that we want to be so cheap, but we have no other way than to use our bodies to please men and struggle out of a way.

We have no other choice.

We also want to be an elegant, noble woman.

We also want to be personable and pampered like princesses.

Enjoy that feeling of being in the spotlight and hugging each other.

Unfortunately, we don't have that qualification.

We can't rely on anyone but ourselves.

We have nothing but to sell ourselves.

Of course, I also know that some women who worship money don't do this business to survive.

They can easily contribute themselves just to buy a new mobile phone and an expensive handbag.

They are lazy and don't want to work hard, so they do this oldest profession.

I look down on that kind of woman.

I think that's a shame among women.

But I think Li Pingping should not be such a woman.

Because I just went to her house, and her house was very simple, with almost no valuable jewelry and clothes.

Apart from...... Except that I have some opinions about her deliberately seducing the landlord and provoking the landlord in front of the landlady.

After all, coming out to do that line of work is not to serve a specific group of people, not to take the initiative to destroy other people's families.

The man who can come out to play is already a sludge, and if he doesn't choose you, he will choose someone else.

But when you are a second wife or a junior, it's different.

It is the destruction of a woman's family and happiness with a clear purpose.

So I have always felt that being a young lady is actually much more noble than being a junior or second wife.

See me shake my head.

Li Pingping smiled, but there was a lot of bitterness in her smile.

"Actually, even I look down on myself, I think I'm dirty, I'm cheap, I'm disgusting. Do you know why I don't let Niu Niu call me mother? Because I don't want others to know that she has such an unbearable mother! I don't want her to be pointed at because of me when she grows up! I will be poked in the backbone for the rest of my life! I say that her mother is out to sell! I say that she doesn't know how many godfathers she has! I even doubt her character! I want her to go to school and study hard, and then leave me and marry a good man, never have any contact with me again, and never tell people that she is my daughter. Even if someone asks, I'm just a distant cousin of hers!

Speaking of this, Li Pingping took another puff of cigarette.

This time she pumped harder and coughed harder.

Even tears flowed out.

"But I know that the child is very wronged, she can't call her mother a mother, she can only call her sister, she can only live in such a messy place with me, and she has to ...... It's still ...... It's still ...... So in fact, she was right not to call me mom, because I didn't deserve to be her mom at all. ”

She said three "yes", but could no longer say the rest of the words.

Obviously, that is something that Li Pingping minds very much.

Then Li Pingping fell into an even more lost mood.

Actually, there are still a lot of things I don't understand.

For example, why did Li Pingping do this business.

Who is Niu Niu's father.

Why did she bring Niu Niu with her.

But I can't ask.

So I gently patted her on the shoulder: "You have worked hard, you are a good mother, I think the child will understand you." ”

Li Pingping has already begun to burst into tears: "No, I'm not...... I'm not...... No mom is as ...... as I am No mother would grieve her child like me......"

I could tell that these words had been in her heart for a long time.

It's just that there was no one to confide in before.

Now meet me.

I am also a woman.

She had a good impression of me.

And I happened to know her secret.

So this voice is like a flood that has opened the floodgates, and it is out of control.

And emotions are contagious.

Li Pingping's mood infected me.

Because I also have a lot of secrets in my heart.

Because I also have a lot of desires to talk to.

My suffering, my tears, my pain, my love, my tossing and turning, my midnight dreams, the softest place in my heart.

It's just that I can't find a suitable object at all.

My life experience, my experience, my experience, I can't tell Sister Shui, I can't tell Yangmei, I can't tell Zhu Dan.

It's not that I don't believe them.

It's that their lives are too far away from me.

Far away doesn't seem to be a world at all.

It's hard for them to empathize with my life.

They may not fully understand my feelings, my feelings.

Even though they may not look down on me because of those past events, they still treat me as a friend.

But if I say those things, I can't help but feel ashamed of myself in front of them.

I feel like I'm a head shorter.

But now facing Li Pingping, I feel that this is really a suitable person to talk to.

Maybe it's because she's at the bottom of society now, and like me, she used to be so humble.

Maybe it's because I know her secret that no one else knows, so I can rest assured that I can tell her my secret.

Maybe it's because we're all hard-working women struggling at the bottom.

Freemasonry.

It is possible to warm each other.

So I sighed: "Sister Pingping, I can't say that you are the best mother in the world, but you are certainly not the most incompetent mother in the world, do you want to hear my story......?

Since escaping, although I have told quite a few people about my experience.

But before that, I only chose one paragraph, and I hid a lot of plot and details.

It was the first time I had told my experience in such a complete and detailed way with a person, still a stranger.

When I said this, I was hurt, in pain, and in a trance.

Although it was all a recent past, it feels like a long time ago when I look at it now.

Distant as if telling someone else's story.

After listening, Li Pingping was stunned.

She hugged me all of a sudden: "Huanxi, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked you to tell such a sad story in order to comfort me." ”

I smiled wryly.

"Sister Pingping, it's okay, in fact, I've been holding these things in my heart for so long, and I want to find someone to talk to. How's that, after listening to my story, are you not so entangled in yourself? You are also a mother, you are much better than my mother. ”

Li Pingping also smiled.

The smile was equally bitter: "yes, compared to your patriarchal mother, I'm at least not that bad...... However, Niuniu is only 4 years old, and she is not as independent and strong as you......"

Then, Li Pingping finally told me her story.

Li Pingping's home is in the countryside.

But unlike the poverty and backwardness of my hometown, Li Pingping's hometown is a very wealthy township.

Many of them don't farm, but engage in various side jobs.

Including Li Pingping's father, he contracted more than a dozen fish ponds at home.

The income is still very impressive.

So Li Pingping's childhood life was still very happy.

But a few years ago, the situation changed.

In order to make more money, Li Pingping's father contracted more fish ponds.

His family didn't have enough money, so he mortgaged the house to the bank and borrowed a large amount of money.

But Father Li still felt that he had to add more.

The bank refused to give loans, so they borrowed usury from underground banks and imported hundreds of thousands of foreign fish fry.

I thought that through this, I could make a lot of money and make my family's life go to the next level.

Who knows, that year, Li Pingping's hometown had a once-in-a-century flood.

Hundreds of thousands of fish fry have been washed away.

The fish ponds that had just been repaired were all destroyed.

At this moment, the Li family has simply encountered a catastrophe.

The bank loan is not repaid.

What's even more terrifying is the encirclement and interception of those underground banks.

When those people persuade you to borrow money, they are polite to you, and they are called warm, kind and kind.

But when you are urged to repay the money, they are like fierce gods.

Splashing paint, dung, intimidation, threats, and abuse...... Do whatever it takes.

In order to fill the hole and make a comeback, Li's father began to look for connections everywhere to borrow money.

But the reality is that there are more icing on the cake and less carbon in the snow.

The poor in the downtown no one asks, and the rich have distant relatives in the mountains.

Many friends and business partners who had a good relationship before, but now when they see Father Li, they are like seeing a plague, and they are afraid of it.

Didn't even answer the phone.

Father Li could only bow his breath and beg everywhere.

If you ask for someone, you have to drink, so you get drunk almost every day.

Drunk like three grandchildren.

A small boss who had received favors from Li's father before, and later made a fortune by reselling steel, told Li's father that this was 60-degree liquor.

One drink, I'll lend you ten thousand.

With such conditions, I don't know if he will repay his kindness or revenge.

Father Li gritted his teeth and agreed for the sake of money.

Drank 13 cups in one go.

The money was borrowed, but the life was gone.

The death of Li's father made the Li family completely ruined.

The house in the house was taken away by the bank.