If I had the opportunity to choose, I would definitely strangle myself to death in my mother's womb with the umbilical cord.

This thought stayed with me throughout my childhood.

My name is Luo Qiu, female, born in 92.

On the day of my full moon, the largest flood in 50 years occurred in the eastern part of Mindong.

I am a scourge.

That's what everyone who knows me, including my mom.

In addition to the calamity, I was often chased and scolded as a mongrel before I was six years old, and the group of people who used to beat and scolded me after the age of six said that I was not even worthy of being a mongrel.

The reason why this is the case is that I have to mention my mother again.

My mother is a daughter of the Tan family.

In the past, the Tan family was not allowed to live on the shore, had no land, was not allowed to read, could not intermarry with the people on the shore, and could only live on boats and fishing, and their lives were as thin as paper and humble to the dust.

Even after the reform and opening up, the Tan family began to come ashore one after another, and it is a well-known thing that they will still suffer discrimination.

My mom chose to marry someone on the shore.

So, I was labeled as a mongrel as soon as I was born.

My grandmother's family is patriarchal, and after my mother gave birth to me for the first time, she never got pregnant again.

My grandmother actively encouraged my dad to get a divorce and find another one, and my dad was also filial, and finally lived up to my grandmother's high expectations when I was six years old.

As a result, I don't even have the qualifications to be a mongrel.

I was swept out of the house, and I didn't care about it.

At home and outside the house, I am a punching bag character, and I am often beaten for no reason, and when I am swept away, at least I don't have to be beaten by my father, grandmother and sister-in-law.

For the first time in the world, my mother didn't beat me to vent her emotions.

She was very calm in front of me and even bought me snacks.

Her attitude made me honestly afraid.

I tried my best to please her, and I didn't dare to touch the snacks she gave.

After my mom bought the snacks, she took me straight back to Tan's house.

Everything about the Tan family was new and unfamiliar to me, and I couldn't help but take a few more looks, seeing that most of the Tan family were busy on three ships at that time.

My mom rarely had the patience to stop and explain to me and mention it to me.

Burning is an event held by the Tan family every year on the 10th day of the seventh lunar month, with the purpose of surviving the souls of the dead who have drowned in the water and praying for the blessings of the gods for peace.

There are three ships in total, the first one is dedicated to burning money and paper, the second is beating gongs and blowing horns, and the third is carrying sorcerers to perform rituals.

Most of the Tan family members are preparing for the underworld boat needed to burn the ghost, and the burning event will be held after dark.

Occasionally, the Burning Ghost is held in advance, such as this time.

This time, the tryst was held in advance because the Tanka family had gone out to sea to fish for several days in a row, but there was no harvest.

The year I was born was also held in advance, because the flood caused countless deaths and injuries, and it was even more devastating for the boat as a home and fishing for a living.

When my mom said this, she suddenly started a fire at me again.

I shrunk my head and didn't dare to look any more along the way.

My mother then took me on a family boat and pushed me to a strange old man with a gloomy face and asked me to call my second uncle.

After I timidly called out to my second uncle, the second uncle, who was sitting on the bow of the boat smoking a dry cigarette, slowly raised his eyelids and looked me up and down, and then nodded silently.

My mother then dragged me into the cabin, shoved snacks into my arms, and told me to stay in the cabin and not to wander around, and then hurried out of the cabin.

I was inexplicably uneasy, but I didn't dare to disobey my mother's orders, so I could only stay in the cabin and listen carefully to the movement outside through the curtain.

There was no conversation outside, only the sound of footsteps coming and going.

I stayed in the cabin until it was dark, and then the curtain was finally lifted from the outside.

I hurriedly stood up and stepped back.

The two strange men who came in were both unkind-looking, one carrying a blood-red wedding dress in his hand, and the other holding a hemp rope in his hand.

I didn't take two steps back before I grabbed my collar and dragged me off the ground.

Immediately afterwards, a rag gagged my mouth, and I was put on a blood-red wedding dress and tied with hemp rope.

I was so stupid that I didn't have the ability to think until I was lifted out of the cabin and thrown above deck.

There were many strangers on deck, men and women, old and young, and although they all had different expressions, they all lacked the disgust that I was most familiar with.

The three ships were ready to go, and the pale faces and blood-red lips of the ships full of paper were especially terrifying in the night, and the sorcerer's sobbing and chanting made people's scalps tingle.

I was terrified, trembling and trying to twist my neck to find my mom in the crowd.

"Don't look for it, your mother sold you. You will then be sacrificed to marry the god of the sea. "The second uncle's deep words were like a hammer that instantly cracked my tear ducts.

I froze my neck and tears welled up in my eyes.

As for what the second uncle said later, I didn't hear it at all, I could only hear the sound of the blood flowing rapidly from the eardrums.

It was only when I was carried onto the ship and thrown together with the paper that I gradually heard the sobbing and chanting of the wizard on the ship, first far and near, and then gradually clear.

I stared at the dark sky, tears rolling down, despair and hatred intertwined in my heart.

I've been beaten countless times since I was a kid for no reason, most of them from my mother.

But I never hated her, because I could understand how unhappy she was at my grandmother's house, and I could understand how she needed to find an outlet for catharsis.

But now, I have to hate her.

It is said that tiger poison does not eat children, she is not desperate and is about to starve to death so she sold me, moreover, it is my life that is sold!

Little me lay like a corpse on the ship of the underworld, until the paper on the ship was burned to the ground, until the chanting of the wizard ceased.

As I was lifted from the deck again, someone tied a boulder to my back.

I was then thrown into the sea, my body sinking straight into the cold water.

I didn't struggle for half a point, not because I was self-aware.

I hate the world.

It's okay to die early.

The feeling of suffocation soon set in, and I suddenly felt like laughing, so I closed my eyes and let my consciousness finally fall into chaos.

By the time I realized it again, I was no longer in the water.

In the dark and damp environment, I was dressed in a wet blood-red wedding gown, leaning against a red coffin with an unsealed lid and a cinnabar coating inside and out.

Coin-shaped coins were falling from the heights, and there was a dead silence all around.

Am I already dead?

I glanced at the coins falling from in front of me with scattered eyes, and then slowly walked out of the Red Pavilion, and unexpectedly, I saw my mother again.

She was also soaked, and she was also wearing a blood-red wedding gown and fell not far away, her face facing me was very pale, and her eyes were closed and motionless.

My heart shook, and I looked around in a trembling hurry.

The boxy, confined space was covered in dirt, except for the red coffin and copper coins that stood upright, and her on the ground, and the sharp dagger at my feet.

After looking around, I hurriedly pinched myself again, and it hurt.

I'm not dead?

Not a dream either?

Who sent me to the red coffin?

Who made my mom look like this?

When I was suddenly full of doubts, a strong urge to slash my mother to relieve the hatred in my heart suddenly appeared.

At the same time, I picked up the dagger uncontrollably and walked towards my mother.

I walked slowly, and the hatred in my heart doubled with each step.

"Hate is right. It is a matter of course to repay debts and repay lives and debts. As I stood beside my mother, an old chuckle spilled out of my mouth.

The weirdness of coming again made me sober up a little in an instant.

I was so creepy that I tried to cover my mouth and close my lips, but I had no autonomy over my body at all.

I then bent down and flipped my mom's body to the back facing the sky, then fell to my knees and raised the dagger high at my mom's heart.

No!

Gotta stop!

I can't kill anyone, not to mention that she is my mother, no matter how much hatred I have in my heart, I can't kill her!

I was so anxious that I resisted, and my hand holding the dagger trembled wildly.

However, I tried to stop, but I couldn't slow down in the slightest, and I just deflected the dagger from its original track.

As the dagger stabbed my mother, my mother's eyes opened with a scream.

Her eyes full of horror changed to disgust when she saw that it was me, and she bounced off the ground and grabbed me by the neck, crushing me to the ground.

The familiar look of disgust stimulated me to lose the only remaining clarity of consciousness.

I quickly pulled the dagger out of her body, met the thick blood sprayed, and stabbed it wildly.