But the original personality can no longer be restored to him. He has changed from a very introverted person to a living treasure, but he can't change from a living treasure to an introvert again. He felt that his life needed to be poor and foreign, just as his life needed vitamins. He became more and more a living treasure in front of men, and only in the presence of his wife could he strive to be like him, to whom his wife was accustomed. Sometimes he can't even figure out which one he is the real one and which one he is the disguised one.

During the return to the city, before leaving the company, Li Fenglin, an educated youth from Shanghai, found him and said to him openly and honestly: "Dawen, discuss something with you, I want to ...... I want to ask you for a daughter......"

At that time, his two daughters were almost three years old, and they were very beautiful and lovely, and their fair skin, their slender eyebrows, their talking eyes, and their slightly pursed lips were like their mothers, and there was no one who did not like this pair of twin sisters. He loved his two daughters no less than he loved his wife.

After listening to Li Fenglin's words, he was so surprised that he didn't even think about it, so he refused: "No, no! What kind of joke are you making! If you like girls very much, you will have to let your wife give birth to you in the future! What do you want from me!"

"Don't you have two!" Li Fenglin did not give up hope for further struggle. "I have two, but it's not a fucking thing!" he thought Li Fenglin was ridiculous.

"Don't worry, listen to me......" Li Fenglin seemed to be unwilling to stop until he reached his goal, and said patiently, "Let me tell you, after I return to Shanghai, I can inherit an inheritance of more than 100,000 yuan." Our small bungalow will be returned sooner or later. I swear to you which daughter you have given me, and I promise that one of your daughters will grow up happy like a little princess. You are still her father, you can visit her anytime and anywhere, and she can visit you anytime and anywhere...... As for me, I just want to be one of her caregivers......"

He felt that the other party was talking in a dream in broad daylight, he seemed to have fallen into a five-mile fog, completely confused by the other party, and asked with his head covered: "Your kid has a bungalow and money, and when you return to the city, find a beautiful wife, won't you have everything! Or the sentence just now, love your daughter, ask your own wife to give birth to you! A woman gives birth to a man, she does not dare to guarantee a ticket, a woman gives birth to a woman, and the success rate is more than half!"

Li Fenglin became angry and said fiercely: "I don't want to fucking get married! He was also angry: "Don't give it! If you don't want to get married, then you are the big fool of Tianzi No. 1! Big idiot! Couldn't no matter how beautiful a woman is, she can't make you tempted?" Li Fenglin's face suddenly turned purple and purple, and he gritted his teeth and said: "Your wife has moved my heart! Before she became your wife, I wrote her a love letter!" He slapped Li Fenglin with all his strength. Li Fenglin glanced at him, turned around and stumbled away.

Zhao Xiaogang, the hygienist in the company, came over to him and asked, "Why did you beat him?" He said angrily: "This kid is not a fucking person! He pestered me to ask for a daughter, and if I didn't give it, he said...... He was moved by my wife...... Zhao Xiaogang looked at Li Fenglin's back and whispered: "He's pitiful, don't think about getting married in this life, it's over, it's ......over" "You deserve it!" "You killed him." ”

"I ?......"

"Do you remember one time when you were building a house, you carried a girder with him, and you slipped your shoulder, and the end of the girder smashed him and knocked him unconscious?" "A few days later, he was hospitalized. No one in the company knew what illness he was hospitalized for, only me. That time it hit the place where a person was cut off, which is called sexual nerve necrosis in medicine......" He was stunned for a long time, and suddenly grabbed Zhao Xiaogang's collar and yelled: "You are talking nonsense!" The hygienist broke his hand, straightened his collar, stared at him with two eyes, and said: "If I were Li Fenglin, I might have slaughtered you earlier!" He stood there motionless for five minutes like a heinous prisoner standing in the dock. Li Fenglin didn't slaughter him, and he had never obviously expressed hatred for him before today, but it made him feel that he couldn't understand the fair-eyed Shanghai intellectual. Sexual nerve necrosis...... These words coiled around his heart like a poisonous snake, gnawing at his heart and spitting venom into his heart. I, Liu Dawen, have really done a great sin! I ruined a good person...... He felt the cool blade of a knife press against the back of his neck, and he turned around, but there was no one behind him. He ran home with a nameless trepidation. The two daughters lay side by side on the kang, both asleep. Two little hands, holding each other. Both little faces are so handsome and so cute. He stood in front of the kang and looked at them hesitantly. He finally made up his mind, slowly picked up a daughter gently, turned around and walked out. The wife came in from outside with a laundry tub and asked strangely, "The child is sleeping well, where are you going to hold her?......?" and "I ......" He didn't know how to answer. "You have nothing to do, you wake up, and you have to be coaxed by me!" the wife put down the basin, took the child from his arms, and slowly and gently placed it on the kang. Seeing that his expression was abnormal, his wife asked again, "What's wrong with you?"

"Not really. ”

He didn't dare to look his wife in the eye. He wanted to cry. He wanted to bang his head against the wall. He turned and rushed out of the house again......

Li Fenglin left the company three days earlier than him. Li Fenglin is a good amateur, and all the educated youths and many old workers are reluctant to see him off, all the way out of the company, to the highway, and watch him take a truck and disappear from their field of vision......

He was the only one among the educated youth who didn't send it. Even my wife went to send it. His wife returned home and asked him, "Have you had any trouble with Xiao Li?" he shook his head. "Then why don't you send it, let others guess?" the wife reproached him for the first time. He whispered, "Didn't I stay at home to watch the children!" "But if you want to send it a little bit, I'll stay at home to watch the children!" "......" "Several people said that Liu Dawen is really not interesting!" "Shut the fuck!" He spoke to his wife for the first time in such a rough manner. His wife looked at him in a daze, and her eyes were suddenly full of tears. She went to the kitchen with tears in her eyes and began to sob. He guiltily followed him to the kitchen, hugged his wife in his arms, and said, "Don't be angry with me, you don't know how sad I feel in my heart......" His wife stopped sobbing and asked softly, "Because of Xiao Li's departure?" He didn't answer. "I heard that Xiao Li is the luckiest one among the educated youth, and after returning to the city, he can not only inherit an inheritance of more than 100,000 yuan, but also have a small bungalow with a garden, really?" He still didn't answer, but hugged his wife very tightly. His wife was in his arms, and whispered, "You're not jealous, are you?" He shook his head and replied in a low voice, "How happy we are!" He stroked his wife's hair.

A tear slowly spilled out of his eye, rolled down his cheek, and hid in his wife's hair. He and his wife stood like that for a long time. Finally, he opened his mouth and asked, "Did Xiao Li write you a love letter?" The wife opened her eyes and looked up at him: "Why are you crying? How do you know about this?" "But I...... I gave it back to him without even looking at it!" "You just looked at it at the time...... Okay, maybe you will live a life that everyone envies in the future......" At the same time, he thought to himself, then he would definitely not carry a beam with Li Fenglin, and he would not commit that sinful mistake...... "Don't say such things again." His wife pushed him away and said angrily, "If you say something like this again, I won't love you anymore!" When the four of them got on the "special train for educated youths returning to the city," how excited the wife was all the way! "Didn't I tell you? Good luck will beckon us sooner or later! Back to the city, you can go to the provincial song and dance troupe!" "They wanted me, and that was a few years ago." Now they may have forgotten about me as a person. "You have to have full confidence in yourself, and you have to make them appreciate you again. And all he was thinking about was where the family of four would live when they returned to the city. My sister and brother-in-law went to the train station to pick them up. There are only two rooms in the family, one large and one small. The large one is twelve square meters, and the small one is seven square meters. My father and mother live in a small house, and my sister and brother-in-law have been married for less than a month and live in a big house. My sister and brother-in-law gave them a new house to live in, and they each moved to the factory dormitory. My sister's factory is in the city, and my brother-in-law's factory is on the outskirts of the city. Since moving to their respective factories, they have not had the opportunity to meet at home at the same time. My sister is off on Sundays and my brother-in-law is off on Saturdays, my brother-in-law works the night shift and my sister works the day shift.

Yesterday, at this late in the day, he staggered home from the night market, passing a street that young people called "Love Alley". That small street, lined with high walls of factories on both sides, and only three telephone poles, erected in the street, at the end of the street, and in the middle of the street. There were no lights on the three poles. Couples who can't find a place to fall in love during this long and cold winter season regard that small street as their "Garden of Eden". They hugged each other in thick cotton clothes, caressed each other with gloves, looked at each other's frosty eyes with affection through the cold moonlight in winter, and kissed each other's cold lips with cold lips. Let the falling snowflakes gradually turn them into pairs of snow sculptures...... On more than one occasion, workers at the Electricity Bureau installed street lights on three poles on the side street, but when the next night came, the street remained dark. Incredibly, nothing extraordinary has ever happened on this small street. Even the hooligans and gangsters don't come here to make trouble. For if they provoke here, every young man here will become a fierce fighter, and without appeal, they will immediately form a camp of common hatred.

Last night was colder than tonight.

A couple put their arms around each other from behind, turned out of the side street like ghosts, and walked slowly ahead of him, only three paces away from him, whispering as they went.

The man said, "I miss you so much." ”

The woman said, "I miss you too." ”

The man said, "Won't you buy two movie tickets for your brother and your sister-in-law one day and let them go to a movie together?"

The woman said sadly, "But they will definitely not go." My brother and sister-in-law are all unemployed, and they have two children, so how can they bother to go to the movies!"

The man let out a long sigh of frustration and bitterness, and then said with a glimmer of hope: "Why don't you take a day off to come to our factory next Saturday?" There is a small dilapidated room next to the big warehouse of our factory, and no one goes there......

From their words, from their backs, he judged that they were his sister and brother-in-law.

He stood still, watched them drift away, and turned himself down another street.

Back at home, he couldn't sleep all night. He wanted to wake up his wife several times, discussed with his wife, cleaned up the coal shed at home, and moved the four of them to live. But looking at the two young daughters, and looking at his wife's face that had lost its former brilliance, he couldn't bear to wake her up and discuss such a matter with her. She began to get sick the day after she arrived home, coughing constantly, and noticeably losing weight.

The intellectuals who are not married or married and have no children will always be in a better position than him and his wife, because they will not return home with two empty bags after all. And he and his wife did not save a penny in the Great Northern Wilderness. With the addition of two children to the small family, their lives are very difficult every month. The cost of returning to the city was saved by careful budgeting in advance. His sister gave him fifteen yuan, and he gave it to his wife. His brother-in-law also gave him fifteen yuan, and he also gave it to his wife. The wife said, "We can't spend these 30 yuan indiscriminately no matter what, who knows how long we will stay unemployed!"

"Brother, sister-in-law, if you are short of money to spend, don't squeak!" said this several times. The wife replied gratefully: "There is no shortage of money to spend, there is really no shortage of money to spend, and we haven't spent any of the thirty yuan you gave!" "We brought some back, and it was enough to last for a few months." "He deceived his sister with lies. In fact, his wife also cheated on her sister. The thirty yuan had already cost twenty-two yuan, seven jiao and four cents—his wife had bought him an iron-gray katunic for him. He once put this decent dress on the torn yellow cotton jacket of the soldiers of the Corps, and with the encouragement of his wife, he went to the song and dance troupe to try his luck. It took a long time to talk before the old man in the communication room let him enter the song and dance troupe building. He found the office, and a man who seemed to be a leader listened absentmindedly to his explanation, and replied to him in a tone that did not even have a bit of polite enthusiasm: "Our personnel are already overstaffed, and the singers and dancers who are about to be eliminated do not know where to arrange!" He pleaded, "Then can you listen to me sing a song first?" The other party interrupted him impatiently: "I'm sorry, I still have some business to take care of." ”

It's New Year's in a few days. He vowed never to accept money from his sister and brother-in-law again. My sister is a second-level worker, and my brother-in-law is also a second-level worker. My sister and brother-in-law have to support two elderly people. My mother was a housewife all her life and relied on her father's pension for food. My father retired from a small street factory with a pension of fourteen dollars a month.

He walked slowly with his hands in the pockets of his torn yellow cotton jacket. After the two daughters followed him and his wife back to the city, they learned that there was a beautiful and delicious thing in the world called sugar gourd. He was a little sad because he had beaten his two daughters.

When I think of my daughter, I also think of my wife. The wife is probably asleep with her daughters in her arms, right? Every street and every road I walked through was so silent, and there was no one in it. The city seems to have taken 10,000 bottles of sleeping pills. He suddenly developed a strong jealousy and resentment towards the city where he could sleep peacefully. He wanted to wake it up with his own deep, wide voice. So he opened his throat again and sang:

Xi'er, Xi'er, you're asleep, you don't know what your father is talking about......

His singing voice is so low, so sad, so desolate, so vast! Like a long-blocked floodgate, all the heart, all the feelings, all the melancholy, all the depression rushing thousands of miles, surging forward along the straight road! Like an invisible lone eagle, soaring over this quiet road on this cold night, its wings fanning the streets and alleys in all directions!

It's been a long, long time since he's sung with an open throat like this. Even he himself was amazed at how powerful his singing could be. There's no better stage than in a city at night. He imagined a thousand cellists in black tuxedos lined up behind him to accompany him, and a thousand flat drummers hidden in the alleys on both sides of the road, as if on either side of a huge stage. And he felt that the thousands of lights of this city were shining for him. The uneven buildings on both sides of the road create a multi-layered echo of his singing, as if the whole city were singing along with him:

I don't know......

I don't know......

He couldn't help but stand still, and looked to the left and right of the road, and not a single window of the building was bright, only a mercury street lamp stared at him from afar and near, as if to make fun of him.

The city turned a deaf ear to his singing. Are you deaf in the city city?!

He suddenly raised his arms and shouted:

Xi'er, your father sold you!

Sold ......

Sold ......

Multi-layered echoes waft through the city's night sky......

A motorcycle came out of an alley and stopped in front of him with a strange scream. There was a small white flag on the car, and the word "police" was written on it. The security patrol officer riding on the car kicked on the ground and suddenly shouted at him, "Who are you?!"

He woke up from a dream, and had the idea of making a harmless joke with the security patrolman, so he calmly replied: "I'm a singer!" "Singer?" The security patrol looked him up and down with a fierce gaze. "Yes, Guo Song of the Provincial Song and Dance Troupe is my teacher. Have you heard of the name of the singer Guo Song? It is the Guo Song who sang "The Song of the Ussuri Boat"...... "The security patrol was majestically silent. "Haven't you heard of it?" he said, shrugging his shoulders in great surprise, "then you must have heard this song...... " and sang again:

The Ussuri River is long and long......

"Don't sing!" the patrolman scolded him, asking, "what's your name?"

"I ...... My name is the red road, the horse of the cow and the horse, the road of the road, the world is red...... Ma Luhong, a young bass singer of the Provincial Song and Dance Troupe, published an article in the newspaper about me a few days ago. This kind of article makes people proud, doesn't it?"

"Get my work permit!" "Work ID ......" he pretended to rummage through a few pockets, muttering to himself as he rummaged through them, "Hey, where's my work permit...... Maybe you didn't bring it with you...... "I see that you are obviously a young man who has returned to the city!" "Yes, yes, I am a young man who has returned to the city......" "Then you say you are a singer?!" "Please don't get me wrong, this is not a contradiction! I ...... I returned to the city three years ago, and the Provincial Song and Dance Troupe transferred me back to the city from the Great Northern Wilderness. It was the famous singer Guo Song I just talked about who personally transferred me back! Why don't you know the name Guo Song? I still wear the costume of this soldier of the Corps because I have to dress like everyone else at the gathering of some educated youths who have returned to the city today, right? Otherwise, it will cause bad psychological stimulation to everyone, right?"

The patrolman was a little skeptical, and asked again, "Are you drunk?" "No, no!" He shook his head again and again, "Drinking hurts my throat, I haven't been ...... since I was a child" said, leaned down, and exhaled a big breath into the patrolman's face, "There is no smell of alcohol at all, right?" The patrolman frowned: "What did you just say your name?"

"Ma Lu Hong, my name is easy to remember. If you want to watch a performance in the future, as long as it is a performance by the Provincial Song and Dance Troupe, go to me. Three or two tickets, no problem!" A smile appeared on the young face under the police hat, "Then we are friends?" "Of course!" "Is it still far from home? I will give you a ride on a motorcycle?" "No. I'm going home. He raised his arms, saluted him with a handsome SS salute, and then took a stride and walked away with the steps of a soldier. The young security patrol officer looked at his back, trying to recall in his mind the impression that a young singer named "Ma Lu Hong" did not exist......

When he got home, he saw that his wife and two daughters were already asleep, so he quietly took off his clothes, got into bed without making a sound, and lay down gently beside his wife. Two children and two adults occupy a double bed for the newlyweds, intimate and intimate. Only then did he realize that his wife was not asleep and was crying silently. "Why are you crying?......" he asked in a whisper. The wife turned away. He turned his wife's body over, looked at her, and asked, "Why are you so sad?" and "I...... I put the few dollars left over from the clothes...... Lost ...... Looking for everything...... I can't find ......," said the wife, sobbing like a child. All the small plans he had to make do with for the New Year came to naught. "Throw it away, throw it away!" he wiped the tears from his wife's face with both hands. Suddenly he felt a great pity for his wife. He impulsively pulled his wife into his bed and hugged her body tightly in his arms. His wife's gentle and beautiful body made his soul feel truly comforted. This soul is too tired and in need of comfort at this moment! He doesn't want to think about anything, he doesn't want to worry about anything, he doesn't want to worry about anything! He just needs her. It is only necessary to receive the kind of comfort that surpasses all that is obtained from her, and only to submerge oneself in the fiery lust full of love for her......

He stared intently at the face he would never get enough of, and muttered, "I have nothing but you and the child." ”

She also stared at him intently and muttered, "Me too." ”

"As long as I don't lose you and my children, no matter what the circumstances, I will have enough courage to live!" "Me too. "If I had lost you and my child, I would have killed myself!" "Me too." "I love you more than we love our children. "Me too. "I love you, I can't live without you......" "Me too." So he imprinted countless kisses on his wife's face. He recklessly unbuttoned his wife's shirt and snuggled his face into her arms. He closed his eyes.

The world ceased to exist in his mind. He kissed, kissed, kissed in confusion......

His wife caressed his face, his hair, and his back with great tenderness. From his wife's touch, he greedily felt a kind of motherly pity. This is what he deeply cherishes for his wife in his heart, and it is also what he longs for her to give him. It's not so much an impulsive lust as a sympathetic feeling. His requirement to obtain this psychological satisfaction is stronger than the requirement to obtain another satisfaction......

His wife gradually calmed his soul and body impulses with her motherly caresses, kissed him gently, and said politely, "Sleep......"

He was silent and did not move. Still snuggling up in his wife's arms like a child, he felt that his heart was regaining some strength in a state of weakness. He was confident that he would be able to travel all over the city tomorrow to sell a dozen packs of cigarettes.

The wife said again: "Today Minhua is here and will send two movie tickets for tomorrow...... and he was suddenly pushed from the land of gentleness to the embarrassing and embarrassing reality. A brief drunken dream was shattered by the sorrowful whispers of his wife. His head slowly lifted from his wife's plump, soft breasts. He rolled over and lay on his back beside his wife. But his wife threw herself on him, hugged him tightly, and said in the chilling tone of a man in a desperate situation: "I am so scared! I am afraid that we will continue to work for a year, two years, three years...... What are we going to do if that's the case!" He jerked his wife away and sat up, pulling his padded jacket and pulling out his cigarette......