I write this faithful text about my father, to "erect a monument" for a peasant who became a member of the working class, and to preserve the memory of a son who will be dedicated to his son in the future......

When I was a child, my father was in my mind a stern head of the family, an absolute authority, a benefactor who sold his strength to feed and clothe me, a benefactor, and a person I feared.

My father kept a straight face, and my mother and the four of us brethren were anxious, like birds that sense a great storm.

The father was rarely happy in his heart and had a cheerful expression.

At that time, my sister was not born, my grandfather was alive, and he was too old to move, and he lay on the kang all day and coughed, but he was still very eating. The efficient digestive system of the whole family of seven people only relies on sucking the sweat of a third-level plasterer. In the words of the mother, the whole family "eats" the father every day.

My father was a strong Shandong man who never complained about life or sighed. Father let us "eat" him with a straight face. The father's principle of life - do not ask for anything. Neighbors said of our house: "The roof is open, and the well is dug in the house." ”

I often prayed that my father would complain about something, and sigh too. Because I heard an old lady in the neighborhood who knew how to tell fortunes say, "Everyone breathes a sigh of air in their chests." "According to my naïve and naïve idea, if my father could sigh, he would lose his temper less.

Father just wouldn't sigh.

This is probably determined by my father's "life"? It's really unfortunate! I feel sorry for my father and my whole family. But when my father lost his temper, I was very understanding of him and even sympathetic to him. A person has nothing to do with his own "life". Others can't do anything about this person's "life". What's more, we are "eating" our father every day, don't we allow the people who are "eaten" by us every day to lose some temper with us?

The first time my father lost his temper with me, it left a lasting impression on me. A big kid who used to bully the weak, made two cuts in the back of my new clothes with broken glass. My father wouldn't let me say anything and slapped me in the face. I didn't cry, I didn't dare to cry, but I was very aggrieved and didn't speak for three days. In a space of less than sixteen square meters crowded with seven people, life is never abnormal because one of the four children did not speak for three days. The whole family didn't pay attention to me, and I didn't speak for three days.

On the fourth day, at school, in class, the teacher called me by name and asked me to stand up and read the text. It was a text that I had already read. When I stood up, I didn't speak for a long time. The teacher was anxious, and so were the students. Teachers and classmates all looked at me anxiously, and in the last row of the classroom, there were seven or eight teachers from other schools.

It's not that I don't want to read. I didn't mean to discredit my class. I can't read it. I can't read the first word of the title of the text. I was more anxious than my teachers and my classmates.

"What's wrong with you? Why don't you open your mouth to read?" the teacher got angry and his face turned red.

I burst into tears.

Since then, in the third class of the second grade of our primary school, there has been one less "reading student" loved by the teacher, and one more "stammer", and I have lost a child's self-esteem since then......

It wasn't until I was in secondary school that my stutter corrected itself. I became a slow-talker. Some people see me as "mature" because of this, and some people see me as "well-built". And when I need to "argue with reason", I often become a "stammerer" or a "poor of reasoning". My father never apologized to me. Because he never associated the slap he gave me with my later stuttering......

Grandpa's temper is also very hot. When my father was angry, my grandfather didn't scold, which is very fortunate for us.

Thankfully, there aren't many times.

The mother is a sheep, as tame as a sheep, completely "ruled" by the father. If it were the other way around, I believe it would be beneficial to our children. Because her mother is the daughter of a rural private school teacher, she knows a little bit of writing. Unfortunately, in the family, the father's self-consciousness was formed at least twenty years before the theory that the working class leads everything.

Housewives from poor families in China are extremely admirable for their adaptability and endurance to a difficult life. They have an instinct to look forward to the future. Although this vision is hazy, blind, with romantic subjectivity. Expecting children to grow up to be productive is the basis for their longing. My mother's self-consciousness and self-confidence in this regard is, I think, higher than many mothers.

My father has his own unique understanding of "Izuku".

One day at dinner, I drank all the bowl of bud noodle porridge, and I was about to serve it again, when I caught a glimpse of my father glaring at me. I was timid, and I hesitated to stand by the porridge bowl, not daring to serve it any more.

My father encouraged me, "Eat another bowl!"

When my father saw that I had only half a bowl, he said, "It's full!" Then, pointing at my brother and two younger brothers with chopsticks, he said with great seriousness: "You all have to be able to eat! If you can eat, you will have to grow your strength! You are now relying on my strength to eat, and in the future, you will all have to rely on your own strength to eat!"

For the first time, I found a genuine kindness, a heartfelt joy, an ardent expectation, a relief, a brilliance, and a love on my father's face.

I drank the big bowl full of bud noodle porridge, and forced me to eat half of the nest. In order to repay his father, repay the rare kindness and brilliance on his father's face. Although I can endure enough, I am happy in my heart. Because I experienced a father's love. I was deeply touched by this valuable experience.

With the comprehension of a schoolboy, I understood my father's words as a teaching to me, a conquest teaching, an unquestionable statement. I understood it and accepted it with all my heart. Since that day, I have eaten a lot of food, and I feel as if my muscles are developing day by day, and my strength seems to have increased.

"The children of the old Liang family, all of them are like little wolf cubs! Nest heads, bud flour porridge, pickle pimples, look at how happy they eat at a meal, how gluttonous they are!" This is the only envy of our neighbors for our family. Father is proud.

When I was 10 years old, my father went to the northwestern part of the country with the Northeast Construction Engineering Company. Not long after my father left home, my grandfather died. Shortly after my grandfather's death, my sister was born. Not long after my sister was born, my mother fell ill. The doctor said that because of her mother's illness, my sister could not eat her mother's milk. My brother is in middle school, and he boils medicine for his mother every day, directing us to continue the family music. I fetch milk for my sister every day, and at my mother's behalf, I feed my sister with a bottle.

I wish I had an older sister. My mother gave birth to an older sister for me. However, I have never seen what my sister looks like, she died of illness before she was three years old. My sister died unjustly because her father did not believe in Western medicine and did not allow her mother to carry her to a Western hospital for treatment. My mother secretly took my sister to the Western Hospital to see a doctor, but the doctor said it was too late. My mother fell seriously ill due to the death of her sister. But my father never felt responsible for his sister's death. My father believed that my sister died purely because she had taken two tablets of Western medicine.

"Western medicine is to cure foreigners' diseases! Foreigners are different from our Chinese bloodlines! Can Chinese's diseases be cured by Western medicine?! Western medicine can cure Chinese's diseases, why do we Chinese invent Chinese medicine?!"

The father yelled at the mother.

The mother retorted: "Mr. Chinese medicine also told him to take the child to see a Western doctor. ”

"Whoever says this is not a good Chinese medicine doctor!" the father was even more annoyed.

Mother, only silently weeping.

The old lady who can tell fortunes in the neighborhood said that according to Mai's appearance, men are yang and women are yin, saying that our family's blood is yang and yin is declining, and there can be no girls. said that the father's temperament was too strong, and the girl did not dare to entrust her to our family. My sister, who said that I died young, was "restrained" by the masculinity of our family and escaped and was entrusted to someone else's house.

One night, I witnessed my father sneaking a packet of Chinese herbs into the hearth, filling the house with a bitter smell of Chinese herbs. My father stood in front of the stove for a long time, and the light of the fire shining through the crack in the lid of the stove was reflected on my father's face. The father's expression was so solemn, and there was a kind of sadness in the solemnity......

My young mind was convinced by Mai's god at the time. Why else did my sister be born after my father left home and my grandfather died? I took care of my sister with all my heart, hoping that my sister would be a bold girl, and that my father would not visit the house for three years. I'm afraid that my sister will also be like a sister to "take birth" to someone else's house. The "presence" of my sister, after all, made me want to have an older sister's wish, and to some extent received a compensatory satisfaction.

My father really didn't visit the house for three years, not because he was afraid that "Ke" would run away from his sister, but because he planned to save a sum of money.

Although his father is in a different place, he tries to use his life principle of "asking for nothing to do" to control the family remotely.

"Be thrifty, be careful in your calculations, and never borrow from the east and from the west...... "In every letter written by my father begging someone, I can't forget to warn my mother. The money my father sent back every month was not enough to support the minimum expenses of the family. The mother completely betrayed the principles of the father. The historical stage of "self-reliance" in which our family "opened the roof and dug a well in the house" has come to a sad end. We have lost even the so-called "poor ambition" in our psychology......

My father's first visit to the house was on the eve of the Spring Festival. The father saved more than 300 yuan, repaid the debt borrowed by the mother, and left more than 100 yuan.

"How do you live?!" I tell you in every letter, but you still borrow so much debt! Can I afford to support you with your children?!!" the father yelled at the mother. He sat on the edge of the kang, and in front of us, his big rough palm slapped the edge of the kang with a crackle.

The mother listened silently and remained silent.

"Dad, if you want to scold, scold us! But we haven't spent a penny. The elder brother defended his mother unjustly.

I held my schoolbag in front of my father, threw it on the kang, and poured out a homework book with words written on both sides and a few pencil tips as long as fingers. I glared at my father and wordlessly declared to him: We really didn't spend a penny. "What are you doing here, the older you get, the more ignorant you become!" my mother reprimanded us severely. The father turned his face sideways, lowered his head, and stopped yelling. After a long time, my father let out a long sigh, which was like a long sigh from the bottom of his heart under the heavy load. That was the first time I heard my father sigh. I felt a sense of pity for my father. The next day, my father took us to the store and bought a new dress for each of our four brothers and a velveteen top for my mother...... My father's second visit to the house was during a difficult three-year period. "No, I was very wrong!" The father said he was wrong, looking at the swollen faces of our children from eating wild vegetables. "What do you say is wrong with you?" asked the mother cautiously. My father replied in a deep voice, "Maybe I shouldn't have gone to Kanto when I was twelve...... I think that life in my hometown will be better than that in the city? I just eat wild vegetables, and there are more wild vegetables in my hometown...... "My father wants to go back to his hometown to see." If life in his hometown is better than in the city, he will take his mother and our five children back to his hometown, no longer as a construction worker, but as a farmer.

The thought of being a father excites us and gives us hope. We are not obsessed with cities. Whether it's wild plants or leaves, wherever there is something non-toxic that can fill our stomachs, it is our blessed land. My father's words sparked a yearning for our hometown, which we never went back to.

My mother was very unimpressed by my father's words. But as soon as my father thinks about it, he will cling to it. That's something that no one can make him give up.

Mother was never able to shake my father's even one ridiculous thought. The mother did not possess such a woman's skills. My mother was very self-aware, so she made all kinds of preparations for my father in advance.

The father wants to take a son back to his hometown in Shandong. There was a small feud between us, his four sons. In the end, it was the father who made the ruling. My father said to me, "Second child, Dad will take you back to Shandong together!" The impression of the trip to my hometown was bleak. For me, it was a great dash of hope. It was a psychological and emotional blow to my father. Hometown, there are no relatives, but after all, it is my father's hometown. The people of his hometown are very envious of his father, the working class who earns cash. The children of my hometown are very envious of the children of my city. I envy the brand new galoshes I wear on my feet. The wild vegetables in my hometown can't fill the stomachs of my hometown. My father and I didn't finish eating the two steamed buns on the way, which are the best dim sum in the eyes of the people in my hometown. My father and I, driven by a hungry atmosphere in our hometown, got carried away and played the role of "returning home".

The 200 yuan that my father saved for the second time, in addition to the travel expenses, the east family gave 5 yuan, and the west family gave 10 yuan, and almost all of them were relieved in the way of "meeting gifts". My father and I left our hometown with a small bag of peanuts and a few catties of dried sweet potatoes......

When he got home, the first thing his father said to his mother was: "boy, I've gotten all the money! Don't be angry, I'll save again!"

It was the first time I heard my father speak to my mother in a guilty tone.

The mother smiled faintly: "Why am I angry! You have never been back since you left your hometown, you should go back and have a look!" As if she didn't care about the more than 200 yuan that was spent.

But I know that my mother cares a lot in her heart. For I saw that when my mother turned her back, tears overflowed from the corners of her eyes and dripped down the hem of her dress.

That night, my father turned over and sighed one long sigh after another.

Two days later, my father went back to the northwest ahead of schedule. The working days during the holiday period are paid double pay......

My father always adhered to the iron rule that he had set for himself to visit the house once every three years until he retired. My father was very good at saving money. My mother is very capable of borrowing. Our family's life is precisely the special need for such a father, and also the special need for such a mother. The so-called "unity of opposites".

On the negatives of my memory, my father became more and more a vague phantus, appearing once every three years, and in my emotional world, my father became more and more a benefactor that I wanted to repay but could not repay.

Repaying this kind of psychology, in the relationship between father and son, is tantamount to a diluent that dissolves the affection of bones and blood. It gently distorts the most natural and natural ethics of human nature into a most absurd debt. Poverty is cursed not only because it causes material debts, but also because it causes moral and emotional debts.

The year my father visited the house for the third time was the year my brother was admitted to university. My father objected to his brother's desire to go to university with the majesty of his words.

"I can't afford you to go to college!" said my father, leaving my mother and brother feeling non-negotiable.

A kind neighbor found my brother a temporary job to earn a small amount of money - selling vegetables in the vegetable market. You can earn five cents by selling ten catties of vegetables. The father forced his brother to earn a small amount of money. My brother secretly carries a textbook every day, leaving early and returning late. When he got home, he gave his father five dimes. The five dimes were secretly stuffed by my mother to my brother every day. My brother actually went to the park or the Songhua River to review his homework. When the scam was finally revealed, my father was furious at this "conspiracy" and smashed the mirror with a water glass.

My father was so angry that he decided to go back to the northwest that day. My brother and I dropped my father off at the train station.

Before the train left, my father leaned out of the window and said to my brother: "Boss, listen to Dad, don't take the university entrance examination! We have a family of seven, and I am the only one who earns money, and I am already in my early fifties, and my body is getting worse day by day, so you should share a little of the family burden for me!"

When the train started, my father burst into tears. A tear hung on his father's stubble, dark and hard cheek. I was very sad in my heart. But I can't tell whether I feel sorry for my father or my brother. I know that my brother has taken the college entrance examination behind my father's back. Once again, the mother deceived the father. The elder brother deceived his father again. I, the "informed" person, also deceived my father. I felt guilty for my innocent deception. I'm feeling sorry for myself for the most part......

A few days later, my brother received an acceptance letter from the university. Mother smiled with satisfaction. But my brother cried......

I sent my brother away again.

My brother didn't let me get into the pit stop.

He said, "Save five cents on a platform ticket." ”

At the ticket gate, my brother said to me again: "Second brother, the family will depend on you in the future! Don't tell my father that I went to college ......."

I stood outside the ticket gate and watched my brother walk into the train station with the crowd, carrying a luggage roll in his left hand and a net bag in his right hand, turning back three times in one step.

I walked slowly on the way home, clutching the five nickels I had saved without buying a platform ticket, and thought to myself: for my brother, for the first college student of our family's ancestors, the whole family must be more frugal and save every penny......

I couldn't hide the fact that my father and brother had gone to college for long. I had to tell my father the truth in a letter.

The older brother was sent back by the school during the first vacation. He never returned to school.

He was admitted to a mental hospital—a free kingdom of the spiritual world—the lifelong home of a mentally weak person. A definite full stop.

I dug out a letter from my father to my brother from my father's diary. A letter with typos and white words that make up more than half of the letter. A letter that does not have a thorough literacy level: Boss, you are too selfish! You have no parents at all! There are no younger siblings at all! You only think of yourself! You are bent on your personal future! Even if I raised you in vain! Even if I don't have your son! One day you become an engineer! I will never recognize you as a son again!

Every sentence is followed by a "!" sign, and all these "!" signs do not seem to express the father's anger at his brother. This letter from my father reminded me of my father's teaching to us: "In the future, you will all have to rely on your own strength to eat!" I can't help but think about my father's teaching as the basic theory: Everyone has the strength of a son, and if a person can eat by strength but does not want to eat by strength, maybe it is really a bit of a big rebellion, right? My brother going to college will never cause the serious consequences of a person in our family starving to death. Was my father's anger also due to my brother's disobedience to his teachings? My father was a manual laborer, and the manual laborers I have seen can be roughly divided into two categories. A kind of inferiority and self-inferiority, complaining about heaven and curse often hang on the lips: "We, stinky coolies!" A kind of blind self-esteem, advocating strength, and saying in a word to anyone who does not rely on strength to eat: "Eat light rice!" contains a kind of contempt.

Fathers fall into the latter category.

Now that I think about it, this is a very sad thing! Isn't it sad for my brother or for my father himself?

Before my father's fourth visit to the house, I went to the Great Northern Wilderness. I didn't see my father again for the next seven years. I couldn't visit my father at the same time as I wanted.

In my seventh year in the countryside, the company recommended me to go to university. That was the second time I was recommended for college. I didn't regret giving up my first chance to go to college. The consequences of my brother's college education had a more profound and negative impact on my psyche than my father's life teachings to me. However, the second recommendation was that I really wanted to go to university. The second and last time. I won't get a third chance to be referred. I was twenty-five years old.

I understand that before the admission letter is handed to me, it is still a question mark whether I will be able to enter the university. It is very important for even the cadres to agree or disagree. I've confronted company commanders and instructors in public, and I know they hold a grudge against me. I was very worried. After several sleepless nights, I wrote a letter to my father, telling him that I had been recommended for college, but in the end, it turned out to be unpredictable, and asked him to send me 200 yuan. I also told my father that this was my last chance to go to college. I'm sure I'm hinting very clearly, my father will understand what I need money for. As soon as the letter was dropped in the mailbox, I regretted it. I guess my father would either not hear back at all, or he would write a letter to scold me. It must be more ruthless than the letter scolding my brother. According to the principle of a father's life, even if his son has the possibility of becoming the emperor, he will never tolerate his son bribing people with money for this.

Unexpectedly, my father quickly remitted the money. Two hundred dollars. Wire transfer. On the postscript of the bill of exchange, a few typos were written crookedly: "If you don't tick (enough), you will call for a long time." ”

I got the money back the same day. In the evening, it rained lightly. I put 200 dollars in two pockets, one hundred dollars on each side. With his hands in his pockets, he clutched two stacks of money. I went to the instructor's house first, and lingered outside the door for a long time, but did not enter. Later, when I came to the company commander's house, I mustered up the courage a few times and suddenly pushed the door in. I said a few inconsequential words to the company commander and immediately took my leave. His hands never came out of his pockets, and the two stacks of money were wet.

I walked slowly in the rain. At that moment, a sympathetic voice said in my ear: "Master Liang is really not easy, he has to feed a large family like you alone! He is very frugal, he eats three meals of stinky tofu, and he is reluctant to buy even a plate ......of stir-fried vegetables."

These are the words that one of my father's co-workers said to my mother when he came to my house. I was a young boy and I had forgotten many things when I grew up, but I couldn't forget these words.

I felt that the two stacks of money in my pocket were heavy, sinking like two large pieces of lead. I feel that my soul is so dirty, my personality is so low, and my motives are so shameful. I wanted to vomit my filthy heart out of my chest, trample it to pieces, trample it into the dirt.

I walked far out of the company, hid in the gap between the two piles of wooden ridges, and wept heartily. I cried for myself and my father. Why didn't he write a letter to scold me? The last splendor of a father's personality was overshadowed in the heart of a son, like a mud puppet ruined in a handful of dirty water. And this handful of dirty water was splashed on the father by the son, what a remorse and sad thing!

The next day, when I lifted the log, I insisted on switching from the three bars to the second bar, which was the heaviest load. When the two-ton giant log was lifted off the ground at the sound of eight people's trumpets, and when the lifting bar pressed deep into the muscles of my shoulder, I secretly echoed in my heart a different kind of trumpet—Dad, I don't, no......

I still went to college that year. The company commander and the instructor did not interfere and sent me to the bus station. When I said goodbye to them, I couldn't help but say to them, "I'm so sorry......" and they looked at each other silently, not knowing what I meant by that.

That dark, drizzling night will remain in my memory forever......

In the three years of college, I didn't visit my home once, in order to save half the ticket price from Shanghai to Harbin. also for my father to eat one less piece of stinky tofu and more stir-fried vegetables every month.

After graduating, I joined the work for a year before I visited my family, and I hadn't seen my father for ten years. My father retired early. He fell off the scaffolding once, suffered internal injuries, and was too old to do heavy physical work.

The third brother returned to the city. When I returned home, I saw my third brother lying on the kang with one leg tied to a splint and hanging in the air. My little sister told me that my third brother was getting married. The new house is a "partial building" built next to the gable of our old house. Our old house is very low, and the "partial house" is not much taller than other people's coal sheds.

I entered the "new house" and looked at it, and when I came out, I asked the third brother, "Why did you build it so well?"

The third brother's head was tilted sideways on the pillow, and he said for a long time: "No money." It's nice to be able to build such a room. ”

I asked, "What's wrong with your legs?"

The third brother stopped talking.

The little sister said to him from the side: "When laying the linoleum, the wooden planks on the roof were so rotten that they fell into the house when they stepped on it......

I looked at my third brother and felt very uncomfortable. I was able to finish three years of college because my third brother sent me ten yuan a month from the Great Northern Wilderness.

After dinner, I said to my father, "Dad, I want to talk to you about something." ”

My father looked at me and waited silently for me to say. My father's gaze on me was a little strange to me. Is it because we were separated for ten years? Is it because I became a college graduate? I don't know. He looked at me like an old horse looking at a calf.

I stretched out a hand to my father: "Dad, take out all the money you have saved over the years and use it to build a house for your third brother!"

My father looked at me again with that somewhat unfamiliar gaze, lowered his head, and was silent for a long time before he whispered, "I...... Didn't you already give it?...... "I said, "Dad, you only gave the third brother 250 yuan! Can that money be used to build a house?" "I...... No more money......" the father's voice was lowered. I said loudly, "No, Dad, you have! I know you have! You have more than 3,000 yuan...... "My father stood up from the edge of the kang, his face turned purple, and he roared angrily, "You...... When did I save $3,000?!"

The third brother lying on the kang interjected and said, "Second brother, why do you force my father to do it for me! My father has wanted to save money all his life, and now that he has finally saved it, can he be willing to use it to build a house for me?"

I got angry, raised my voice and said, "Dad, it's not right for you to do this! Can the third brother get married in such a broken house like a coal shed? It will be your grandson or your granddaughter who is born there! You will be ashamed in front of your descendants...... "I despised my father in my heart.

"Shut up," the father raised a fist, ....... The punch didn't fall on me, it froze in the air for a moment, and landed heavily on my father's own head. My mother, my fourth brother, and my younger sister hurriedly came out of the inner room and pulled me into the inner room. "You...... You haven't seen me for ten years, and when you see me, will you teach me a lesson?!What a son! Is this how you set an example to your younger siblings? You can be considered to have gone to college! Get out of my ......" The father's cheeks twitched, and anger spurted from his eyes. There was a chilling sadness in his fierce tone. He pointed at me with his hand and shouted the word "get out", and said nothing else.

I broke free from my mother and fourth brother's hand, and shouted, "Dad, I will never go back to this house again!" I walked to the train station in one go, bought a train ticket to Beijing in three hours, and sat on a bench in the waiting room, smoking one cigarette after another. I don't know how long later, I heard someone call me softly, and I looked up to see my mother and fourth brother standing in front of me. The fourth brother said, "Second brother, go home!" and the mother also said, "Go home, mom please!"

"No......" I shook my head firmly.

The mother said, "How can you quarrel with your father like that? He really didn't save that much money! The little money he saved was almost all for your third brother...... I'm going to pay your brother's hospitalization fee at the beginning of next month......"

Several curious men and women surrounded us, staring at me with all kinds of suspicion. I heard an elderly woman sigh as she left, and said, "Pity the hearts of the parents of the world!" I interrupted my mother and said, "Mom, don't defend my father! When I was in college, you asked someone to write to me and tell me that my father had saved up 3,000 yuan. How could he be so stingy with his son?" The mother was stunned for a moment and said, "Silly child, it's not good for your mother, your mother is lying to you!" In order to let you study at the university with peace of mind and not worry about your life at home...... After listening to my mother's words, I stared blankly at my mother's haggard face, and was stunned for a long time, unable to speak. "Listen to Mom, go home, go home and admit your mistake to your father......" Mother stepped forward to pull me. I lowered my head and cried...... I followed my mother and fourth brother back home. I confessed my mistake to my father. My father didn't forgive me at the time.

Xiaomei had graduated from middle school at that time, and had been unemployed at home for two years, and had not been assigned a job. The mother lowered her eyebrows and went to the street director several times, and the street director finally gave a word and said, "Next time I come to the index, I'll try it hard!"

The mother learned this to her father and said to him, "For the sake of the child, this favor is more and less to care about, and it has to be given anyway!"

The father opened the drawer, took out a brown paper wallet, handed it to his mother, and said without raising his head: "I have just paid the boss's hospitalization fee for this month's pension, and the rest is in it......"

In the brown paper wallet, there are only two large tickets of ten yuan. The mother hesitated for a moment and handed one of them to her sister. My sister used the ten yuan to buy something unorthodox and carried it to the street director's house that day to "express it". How did you take it, and how did you bring it back?

The mother was surprised and asked, "Why did you bring it back?"

Xiaomei replied frustratedly: "People refuse to accept it." ”

The mother asked again, "Too little?"

"People say that if you have lived on the same street for many years, it will not be good if you accept it. People say, if we have to say that her family bought a ton of good coal, let's help bring it back......" The little sister said, glancing at her father timidly.

The father never looked up, and after listening to the little sister's words, his head lowered. After a long while, my father spoke, "Me and your fourth brother...... Let's go and pull it back......"

The fourth brother happened to come back from outside, and after asking for clarification, he said to his father in embarrassment: "Dad, the members of our factory are going to organize an activity tomorrow, I am the secretary of the Youth League branch, I can't help but go!"

The little sister was anxious: "What is the secretary of the branch of the broken league, you are so addicted?! If you don't pull it back tomorrow, people's coal tickets will expire!"

I heard this verse in the back room, and I stepped out of the back room and said to my little sister, "Tomorrow my father and I will go to pull." ”

My father suddenly became angry inexplicably: "No one needs you! I'll pull it alone tomorrow! I'm not old enough to be useless, I still have strength!"

It rained heavily the night before. During the day the next day, the rain fell heavier. My father and I borrowed a cart and braved the rain to haul coal. The road is long. The coal ticket was opened at a large coal factory near a railway line, about 30 miles away from the block where we lived. One ton of coal, pulled in three trips. It was dark before pulling back the third trip. On the third trip, one wheel got stuck in the corner of the track. No matter how hard my father and I tried, the wheels didn't move, as if they were welded. My father and I pushed and pulled together, pushed and pulled, and we were covered in mud and bruised on our hands, and we were always at a loss. In the torrential rain, I could hear my father's cow-like wheezing and wheezing.

I wiped the rain from my face and shouted to my father, "Dad, you are watching here, I'll go to the Taoist room to find someone to help!"

"Where's your strength?!" my father pushed me away, bent down, and carried the cart on his muscular shoulders.

The roar of a train could be heard in the distance. A train is coming. At the moment of lightning, I saw a piece of loose skin, whipped mercilessly by the torrential rain. It is the backbone of an elderly person who has lost his strength.

The front lights of the car came from a distance.

My father was still using his meagre strength in vain.

I pulled my legs and ran quickly towards the Dao class room.

The train stopped.

The workers ran with me to the coal truck.

My father was still carrying the coal cart on his shoulder. He didn't seem to notice a train coming.

"You're fucking dead!" the Taoist worker scolded viciously.

The beam of light from the front of the train is shining on the coal car. Father's shoulder, finally left the coal car. Father slowly raised his head. I could see my father's desperate face. A wrinkled face. Every wrinkle was like a "!", more than in the letter my father wrote to my brother......

The rain was pouring down my father's old face.

I knew it wasn't just the rain that was pouring down my father's face. The father's wide-eyed, hollow eyes, twitching cheeks, and trembling lips illustrate this......

This rainy night reminds me of that rainy night a few years ago. I hid in the rainy night between the wooden piles of our company and cried......

One day in April this year, I received a telegram with the message: "Father will take eighteen times to Beijing on the same day to pick up the station. ”

I haven't visited my home in a few years. I hadn't seen my father for a few more years. I'm thirty-five years old, so I can say a middle-aged man. The telegram swelled up in my heart the feelings of a middle-aged man for his old father. It's a not-so-intense, flirtatious emotion that evokes memories. Human memories can change their "focus" with age, just as a photograph changes color over time. Looking back, I have less condemnation of my father and more condemnation of myself in my heart. After all, I haven't given my father much of a son's love for his father!

The telegram didn't reach me the first day, but it was slipped through the crack in my office. I stayed up late the first day and went to work late the next day. Looking at the watch, there is only one hour and fifteen minutes away from the arrival time of the train. Leave right away, just in time to pick up the station. I had a telegram in my hand, and a thought occurred to me - rent a car to pick up the station. This idea arises very casually, just like Shaanxi people want to eat a meal of mutton steamed buns. My father has never even sat in a car once in his life, and I want to give him "the first time in my life". I called a few taxi stations, but there were no cars. More than twenty minutes passed in front of the telephone. It's too late to take the bus to pick up the station. Only keep making calls. After more than ten minutes, I finally got a car. It was said that it would arrive soon, but it was not very fast, and it would arrive half an hour later. All the way to the red light, stop and stop. To the train station, it has long been outdated.

I opened the door and jumped down, and the driver grabbed me: "Fare!" I touched my pocket, but I didn't have my wallet! I had to smile at the driver and tell him that I was here to pick up people, and I would give him the fare when I received it. After saying a lot of good things, he finally gave him his work card before he let go. Inside and outside the station, I didn't find my father. Frustrated, I went back to the taxi and begged the driver to take me home again, and pay for the fare together. The driver snorted and drove away. Seeing that the direction was wrong, I asked with a smile, "Where are you going to pull me?" The driver replied coldly: "Taxi terminal." I'm hungry and it's time for lunch. You can ask for another car at the main station!" I thought I was wrong, so I didn't say much. At the taxi terminal, I waited for more than an hour before finally getting into another car. I couldn't help but ask, "Why twenty-three yuan?" The driver glared at me: "Plus the fare from the train station to the taxi terminal!" "That section of the road also costs a fare?!" "Joke! Do you want to sit for nothing?" As soon as I entered the house, I saw that my father was already at home. I complained, "Dad, why don't you wait a little longer at the train station?" Let me pick you up for nothing!" My father said, "I waited for a while, I didn't see you, I thought to myself that you wouldn't come to pick up ......" "I took the telegram, can I not pick it up? Really!" "I thought to myself, probably you are busy with work and can't get out of it...... I said, "Dad, give me twenty-three yuan first!" "When we first met, I reached out to ask for money, and my father looked at me strangely and suspiciously. I had to explain, "Dad, I rented a car to pick you up, and the driver is waiting below! As if to confirm my words, the driver honked his horn a few times. My father's expression was as if he had heard that I had rented a spaceship to pick him up. He slowly unbuttoned his shirt, unbuttoned a piece of cloth sewn into his clothes, twisted out three ten-dollar bills with his fingers, and handed them to me silently. I could see in my father's gaze what he wanted to say, "What kind of score are you posing?"

"Dad, I'll pay you back......" I took the money and hurried downstairs. When I got back into the house, I saw that my father's face had become very gloomy, and he didn't look at me, but lowered his head and smoked.

I realise that I just said something very stupid......

Father is no longer the strong father he used to be, and he is no longer the father who is still bright-eyed and energetic in his retirement years. My father is old, and he is completely old. Life turned him into an old man completely. His stiff black hair was about to fall out, and the ones that didn't fall out were white. The beard is quite long, silver and gray and yellow, the so-called "old Huang Zhong style", fluttering and elegant, with a second button. Only this large beard added a little bit of the old man's majesty to him. And the weather-beaten wrinkles on his face condensed the afterimage of some kind of long-cherished wish......

Life, in the end, is very powerful.

My family lives in a tube building, only one room, thirteen square meters, and cooks in the corridor, which is not much different from the situation in the movie "Neighbors". The corridors are dirty, black, and full of flies, and rats are unscrupulous and extraordinarily fat.

On the first day of my father's arrival, he looked at the "territory" that our family occupied in the corridor, and said with feeling: "Second child, you are blessed! You have only been working for a few years, and you have been assigned a house! The corridor is so wide that it can be used as a kitchen...... You...... Better than me......"

These words came out of my father's mouth, in such a tone of indifferent inferiority, which made me feel a little desolate in my heart.

My father has been a construction worker all his life and has built a building all his life, but he envies the thirteen square meters in my building...... He's the one who is called the master......

The editorial office has lent me an office for the time being. Every night, my father and I live in the office, and my wife and children live at home. Although I didn't let my father get in a car for the first time in his life, my father touched me and lived in a building for the first time in his life.

My father picks up the children for us every day, drops them off, mops the floor, turns on the water, buys groceries, cooks, washes clothes, dismantles quilts, and changes gas. My father did his best to take on all the housework.

I don't want my father, my old father, to be my old handyman. I said to my father, "Dad, you're rushing to do everything." We've all been lazy since you came!"

The father replied gloomily, "I don't get tired if I do more." As long as I can stay with you for a long time, I will be content...... After your sister got married, the house really couldn't be opened, so I had no choice but to disturb you......"

My father's personality has also changed, and he has become a reasonable, temperamentless old man who is good at tolerating everything at home and abroad.

In addition to household chores, my father often cleaned the common corridors, stairs, toilets, and sinks. He soon won the praise and respect of the whole building. When my father first arrived, people would always ask me, "Is that old man with a big beard your father?" and the questions I heard after that would often be, "Are you the son of the old man with a big beard?" But in the minds of many people, I began to rely on my father's personality to exist. Some workers who never walked around my house, and who had a tendency to "never get along with each other", also began to show up in my house, bringing me closer to a more general life.

I was amazed to find that my father could openly go to the factory bathroom to take a bath instead of a family bath, and if he didn't have a ticket, he could calmly enter the factory hall to watch a movie, and if he forgot to bring a meal ticket from the canteen, his father could bring back the food from the canteen. And people were very polite and friendly to him. These "preferential treatments" are something that even I have never received. My father finally gained an independent personality alongside me in the way he could. I no longer stop him from cleaning up public health. I understand how much it is necessary and important for him to be noticed and recognized for his independent existence! This is the only weight for an old father, who has no chance of being educated, who has lost his strength and strength, and who has a great sense of self-esteem, to maintain his mental balance in the face of a son who has received a university education and who has a little fame. I told myself that I would value it for my father's sake, as if it were something precious.

The biggest change in my father was the sincere reverence he showed for intellectuals. In the past, he referred to all kinds of intellectuals as "pen-trickers." Those who rely on "playing with the pen" instead of relying on strength to eat "light rice" are what he despises. Nine times out of ten, they come to me one after another. When I introduced them to my father, he always bowed his arms slightly, bent his waist slightly, and bowed unnaturally, in a manner that he was not accustomed to, and a respectful smile appeared on his face that he did not dare to stretch. After that, he made tea and lit cigarettes for me. When I talked to the guests, my father always sat silently in the corner, looking at me attentively and listening attentively. When I talk to a guest about the time to eat, my father gets up and leaves to cook quietly. If I, the master, sometimes forgot to eat, my father would come into the house and ask me in a low voice, "When the meal is ready, do you want to eat it now? Or will it be a little later?" After the meal, he rushed to wash the dishes and chopsticks as usual.

Once, after seeing off the guests, I said to my father, "Dad, you don't have to be overly respectful and thoughtful to the guests, most of them are my colleagues and friends, so you don't need to be too polite." ”

"I ...... Is it too much?......" my father asked sneeringly, as if my words were an accusation against him......

A few days later, I received a letter from a friend. The letter reads: "Yesterday I came to your house to look for you, you were not there, and I talked with your old father for more than two hours. He was such a good father, a good old man. But I felt that he was so lonely. He said to me that he didn't even get a chance to talk to you. Are you really that busy?......"

This letter made me extremely ashamed and remorseful. Yes, I hardly talked to him after he came. Even if it was not very long, more than half an hour, there was no casual conversation between the father and the son. My father was like an old servant I had hired, diligent, silent, and tirelessly doing all the housework for me.

And every day I am either writing, writing, writing, or talking endlessly with visitors......

The next day, after dinner, I didn't go to the office to copy the manuscript that was waiting to be sent, and when I saw my wife and the child go to the neighbor's house to play, I sat down in front of my father.

I whispered, "Daddy, talk to me about some homely things!"

My father looked at me fixedly for a moment, and asked in a straightforward tone: "Second brother, why don't you strive to join the party?"

I was stunned. I had assumed three days and three nights, and I had never expected my father to ask me such a question. Is this what my father wants to talk to me the most?

I bowed my head and was silent for a while, then raised my head and said, "Dad, let's talk a little about homely things!"

"You five brothers and sisters, your brother, don't mention him...... In comparison, you have a little bit of merit at the top, but why don't you strive to join the party? Listen to your colleagues, you said that you want to join the Communist Party now? Have you said this?" My father's eyes were still fixed on me, and he held on to the topic.

I nodded silently. Yes, I said that. And it was said in public at a meeting. I didn't want to deceive my father. My belief in the party was born from a simple idea of gratitude. After all, this kind of gratitude is not based on personal experience, but the result of indirect indoctrination. It is unstable, easy to collapse, and superficial, not enough to sustain for a long time. For something that has been shaken to regain its original solidity, it needs a more solid foundation than before. Faith is not like a child playing with blocks, disturbing a hundred times, and rebuilding a hundred times. The restoration of faith requires a deeper thought and understanding than it had been. This is much longer than winding the table.

My father's words hurt my self-esteem. I deliberately asked in an indifferent tone: "Dad, why do you care so much about whether I can join the party or not? Do you want me to join the party, become an official, and hold power, and then use my power for personal gain?"

My father heard it, and my words were clearly mocking of his wishes. My father slowly stood up, one hand propped up on the back of his chair, as if he were looking at a man posing as his son, narrowing his eyes and glaring at me. He abruptly pushed his chair away, turned and walked out. The chair fell to the ground with a loud noise.

My father stopped at the door, turned his head, glared at me, and said loudly: "I have experienced two societies in my life and have seen two parties, and compared with them, I still think that the new society is good and the Communist Party is great! If you don't believe in the Communist Party, will you believe in the Kuomintang? I won't burn me to ashes! Now is the time for the Communist Party to rejuvenate the country and need the people to defend it, and now I want to join the party to share the responsibility for rejuvenating the country for the Communist Party...... If you say anything to me if you are an official or not, I will beat you......" With that, he stepped out of the room.

At that moment, standing in front of me was the majestic and irritable father of the past. I left the house with mixed feelings and went to the office. I sat at my desk, my hands on my cheeks, and fell into quiet thought. I understand my father's feelings for the Communist Party. At the age of six, he herded cattle for the landlords, and at the age of twelve, he broke into the eastern part of the country, and saw with his own eyes how the Kuomintang brutalized the common people. He was caught as a laborer by the Japanese. If it weren't for the train of the prisoners being ambushed by the Anti-Japanese Union, it is hard to imagine that he is still alive today, and I wonder if there will be a "young writer" like me in this world......

But writing an application to join the party is more serious than writing a novel. Moreover, in my soul, there are still many filthy desires that I have no courage to tell, and I am constantly tempted by personal fame and fortune, and there is still a hidden yearning for pleasure, and a greed for vanity, and ......

"Serve the people wholeheartedly", this sentence is written in the constitution of the Communist Party of China. I can't write on a snow-white piece of paper with a very unclean soul: I ask to join......

One can deceive others, but one cannot deceive oneself. I said to myself, "Dad, forgive me!" I don't, I don't ...... yet" and the office door was suddenly pushed open. Father came. He didn't even look at me, but walked straight to the makeshift wire bed where he slept and sat down heavily. There was a creaking sound from the wire bed. I turned to look at my father. He stood up suddenly, pointed his finger at me, and said indignantly: "You can look down on me, your father! But I will not allow you to look down on the Communist Party! If you are no longer convinced by this party, then you should never call me father from now on! This party is my savior! If I am still strong now, I am willing to work hard for this party until I die! Do you think that if you have suffered a little, you are qualified to be dissatisfied with the Communist Party? The little suffering you have suffered is a fart compared to what I suffered in the old society!"

I tried to explain something to my father, but I couldn't find a single appropriate word. I looked at my father without saying a word, and thought, "Dad, you're not right, no, I'm not what you think!"

......

I felt so aggrieved that I wanted to cry.

......

After my father taught me a lesson, he ignored me for several days and didn't say a word to me. One evening, a strange girl from out of town came to my house. She claimed to be a literary young man who had read several of my works and wanted to talk to me. I took her to the office. She's beautiful. The figure is beautiful, tall and slender. A white goose-egg-shaped face, dignified and elegant. The eyes are big and sparkle with imagination. Her short black hair, neatly cut, set off her moving face, like a lotus leaf against a lotus flower. She wears a colorful floral tunic with only three buttons, which seems to be bony and crescent-shaped, which is very chic. The half-open placket reveals a crimson sweater underneath, jeans with bronze trim at the corners, and cream-colored wedge heels. She sat upright on the couch, her slender arms reaching forward slightly, her hands habitually clasping her knees. She radiates a romantic temperament from head to toe, and her demeanor is quiet and educated.

I made a cup of tea and brought it to her. She took it, glanced at it, leaned over and gently placed it on the table, and said, "I don't drink green tea." I've been drinking flower tea since I was a child. I said, "Please." Moving the chair diagonally across from her, he looked at her and asked, "What do you want to talk to me about?" and she smiled charmingly, "Of course it's about literature...... However, hope is not limited to literature. I said, "Then please talk!, but I may disappoint you, I am not an ideal interlocutor." ”

My son had a high fever. When she walked out of the house, her wife was giving her son medicine. And my father was doing my laundry. I try to eliminate distractions in my train of thought and concentrate my energy. I think she's going to ask me some questions first. But she didn't. She spoke to me about herself in a melodious tone.

She said she had been away from home for more than a month. From south to north, I traveled to many big cities and visited many well-known young writers. Then they spoke their names to me one by one. There were people I knew, and there were people I hadn't met. She also said that she admired so-and-so and his works, couldn't stand so-and-so and his works, and admired so-and-so's works but didn't like the author himself. She's outspoken.

I am willing to talk to frank people. I asked, "Are you on a business trip?" and "Oh no," she shook her head, smiling so lovingly, "just to have fun and distract yourself." "How can your employer give you such a long period of leave?" "I'm not under the control of any unit now, free citizen!" "Are you an unemployed youth?" "I can have a job when I want to have a job, and become a free citizen when I get bored." I looked at her in bewilderment. She let go of her hands on her knees, leaned back on the couch, looked around my office quickly, and said, "Your office can accommodate five pairs of dancers." I said, "I can't dance." Probably yes. This time it was her turn to be bewildered, and stared at me suspiciously, trying to see if I was telling the truth. I smiled ashamedly. She looked away, landed on her desk, and asked, "Did you buy it on the free market?" and I nodded, "Yes." "The style is too old. "No, it's too cheesy. But cheap. Her eyes were fixed on my face again, as if I had admitted to her that I was a nasty billet. I said, "Please go on, because what you said about yourself is still a little confusing to me." ”

"Really?" a skeptical look, a skeptical tone. Then, she sighed softly and said blandly: "I have applied for film schools and music schools, but I have not been admitted." After working in the Foreign Trade Bureau for three months and the Tourism Bureau for half a year, these two units did not attract me for longer. I spent a year in the provincial library, and because there were books there, I was tied up for a year. I got tired of reading books, so I quit...... When I go back, maybe I will go to the provincial TV station to see if I am in a good mood at that time, and I am happy to go to ......."

I finally understood that she was from another world. "Are your parents relieved that you have been out for so long?" "They have nothing to worry about. Every city has my father's old comrades-in-arms. Or stay in their home, or stay in a hotel...... "I don't feel the need to ask anything anymore, and I'm looking forward to her." She was silent for a moment before she spoke again: "You must not understand me...... When I was a child, my sister and I thought we had eaten everything good in the world, so we mixed sugar and salt together and poured some chili oil...... Now, my state of mind is the same as when I was a child, and I feel like I've lost it. I feel like I'm tired of everything and have lost my zest for life, just like I lost my sense of taste for food when I was a child......"

I still looked at her beautiful face, and I felt a sympathy for her. Similar to sympathy for a small insect that is about to drown in honey.

Seeing that I was listening very carefully, she continued: "I wanted to leave the house to relax, but my mood became worse and worse. Every city is full of people, people, people, ignorant, uneducated, muddled people, many people, talking about housing problems and unemployed problems every day......"

I asked calmly, "Can't you stand some people?" "Can you stand some people?" She sat upright and fixed her eyes on my face again, showing an expression of disappointment that was beginning to be disillusioned with my insensitivity to me. I didn't answer her right away. I remembered the rainy night when I hid among the wooden ridges and cried bitterly. I also remembered the rainy night when my father and I assigned work to the street director to pull coal for my sister as soon as possible. Light rain, heavy rain, it's all rainy nights...... Why do I remember all the rainy nights? After all, I spent two rainy nights in my life. After all, I pulled my father's torn clothes, and pulled the torn clothes of a father who had no cultural education and had a narrow peasant consciousness in his mind, and walked through life step by step, growing up at the age of one......

"An ancient country, an ancient people, living in such an atmosphere that everyone is going to be suffocated to death......" The girl's pleasant voice kept my attention from being distracted from her for too long.

I asked, "Let's talk about literature!" and "Literary ?......" A hint of mockery appeared on the corner of her mouth, and she said loudly, "There can be no literature in China at present! The real problem in China lies in its large population." If you reduce it by two-thirds, everything will be different!"

I replied coldly: "Good idea! Of course, the number of people who are ignorant, uneducated, and confused who talk about housing problems and unemployed people every day?"

The change in my mood didn't catch her notice. She frowned, and said in a tone of concern for the country and the people: "Just today, at the gate of your Beijing Film Studio, I saw a white-bearded old man, holding a silly child, watching a foreign car, and I was really sad in my heart! I want to write a psychological novel to express this sadness in my heart! This is our people, and I am really ashamed as a Chinese......" She was so sad that she was about to cry. Or rather, she was trying to move me to tears. However, I was not impressed in the slightest. I'm not as emotional as I used to be. I was thinking that her heart must be very small, so she could only produce such a small sadness. I don't sympathize with her anymore.

I told her that the old man with the white beard must be my father. And the silly child in his arms is my son.

"It's you...... Father ?......" Her face flushed slightly, and she showed a touching embarrassment, and said sneeringly, "I beg your pardon......! I thought you were ......"

"This is not worth asking forgiveness! Therefore I do not wish to forgive you! I do not want to deny that my father was uneducated, and that he knew no more words in his literacy than you do! He was still very ignorant, and because of his ignorance, because of his narrow-mindedness of the peasantry, he caused great misfortune to our family! Because he did not believe the words of the doctor, but believed in the words of the fortune teller, my sister died! My brother, because he despised culture and admired strength, went mad! I forgave him, but I can't forget it. I hate ignorance more than you do! I want to understand better than you what culture means to a nation and a people! I curse all the factors that cause ignorance and uncultured backwardness...... "I got up from my chair. My voice is high. I was thrilled inside. It was as if I was not speaking to the girl in front of me, but to a multitude of all sorts of people.

I would also like to say to her that she can have no affection for our people, and that she can show a little noble pity for their ignorance and lack of culture, as she has done for the noble ladies of the West in the novels she has read, which will undoubtedly make a girl like her more feminine. But she has no right to look down on them! She has no right to despise them! Because it is precisely they, who have not enjoyed cultural education in the course of history, who have created thousands of civilizations, like layers of water layer rocks, which have been accumulated and solidified, and have solidly laid down our 9.6 million square kilometers of land! And all the undertakings that the Chinese nation is rejuvenating are still being realized by their strength and sweat! Ignorance and lack of culture are not their sin, they are the sins of history! It is the shame of every one of us who lacks enthusiasm and a sense of responsibility for the revitalization of our country and our nation!

I would also like to say to her that, as for herself, she is but a small flower in a small patch of fertile soil with plenty of moisture in our 9.6 million square kilometres. Beautiful, delicate, but without fragrance. Because she is not a tree, her short roots cannot reach the rock formations of the water layer. What she despises is what she lives on. She ignored and even ridiculed their most realistic troubles, but her melancholy, which had nothing to be melancholy about, the faint and elegant sorrow in an empty heart, was in fact nothing compared to the sorrow they might have experienced.

I also want to say to her......

I don't want to say anything to her.

I thought of my son with a fever again. I think I should go back to my son.

"I'm so sorry, I can't talk to you anymore!" I walked to the office door and pushed it open—outside the door, my father stood, dumbfounded, motionless like a stake. Carrying a kettle in one hand and a bottle of ink in the other. He brought us boiling water. He clearly heard something I had just said out loud. The girl looked back at me as she walked down the stairs, and she must have never expected me to do this to her. Father made no sound, put down the kettle, and walked silently to the wire bed where he slept. My father and I didn't say a word to each other until the lights went out. I lay quietly and couldn't sleep. I knew that my father was also lying quietly and not sleeping.

I really wanted to roll over and get out of bed, walk to my father's side, kneel down, lay my head on his chest, and say to him, "Daddy, forgive me for inadvertently hurting you with those words, forgive me, Daddy......"

The next day, I came back late from a friend's house, and as soon as I entered the house, my wife told me that my father was gone. "Gone, where have you gone?" "You're back in Harbin!" "You...... Why don't you stop him?!" "I can't stop him. The sick son cried loudly, "Grandpa, I want grandpa!" I want to find grandpa...... I asked, "Did my father say anything before leaving?"

The wife replied, "I didn't say anything." ”

As soon as I turned around, I rushed out of the house. I rushed to the train station and hurriedly bought a platform ticket. When I got to the platform, the train to Harbin had just started. I ran with the train and wanted to shout, "Daddy......" but I didn't. The train leaves the platform. The send-offs departed. I was the only one standing alone on the platform.

Looking at the railway signal light in the distance, I silently said in my heart: "Dad, Dad, I love you! I will never forget that I am your son, and I will never be ashamed of your son! Dad, Dad, I must take you to Beijing again......

The railway signal light in the distance turned from red to green......