When I was a child, when I was with my brother, my brother always took care of me, and my brother was like an older brother, but my younger sister couldn't say anything.

In fact, I always want to do something for my brother, but my brother has super self-care skills, even if I eat noodles, I have to wait for my brother to mix the noodles and I take them out of my brother's bowl.

I finally got my chance. That afternoon, there was lightning and thunder, and suddenly it rained heavily, and I was so excited that I took an umbrella and prepared to send it to my brother.

My brother's middle school is five or six miles away from the elementary school where we live, and it takes me half an hour to walk there, half dirt and half cement, and the dirt road is muddy and takes a little more time, and it takes me a maximum of 40 minutes to walk. Because I can finally do a good deed for my brother, I am very excited, the dirt road is muddy, I can't take care of it, I just run away, almost halfway through, the rain is light, I am anxious, resentful that the sky does not fulfill my wish, and I speed up.

By the time I got to the road, I was already sweating and the rain was lighter. I quickened my pace and ran faster.

By the time I ran out of breath to school, it was almost gone, and by the time I got to the door of my brother's class, the sun came out.

The summer rain comes fast and goes faster.

My brother didn't finish class, I sat on the steps at the door of the classroom, with two umbrellas next to me, and the sun shone on my lap and cried.

When my brother got out of class, he saw my embarrassment and said with a smile that he should go home quickly, I still have one class.

Other than that, I didn't do a single good thing for my brother in my entire childhood.

I never thought about whether my parents were different in their love for our siblings.

Dad took me, free-range management, his busyness always made me unbearable, I wanted to ask a lot of things, but I held back when I saw his busy figure. I always guess whether what I do is right or wrong through my parents' facial expressions or reactions, and what I lack is that my father directly tells me the rules, tells me what to do and what not to do. Dad gave me the best material things he could give, but he didn't give me time to talk about life and get along with people. I became reckless, arrogant, and sensitive in my father's free-range management, my recklessness came from my ignorance, my arrogance came from blind inflatation, and my sensitivity came from the attitude of others towards me. Dad never asked me about my studies, but fortunately, my studies were not good or bad. Sometimes I don't even know if Dad is really tolerant of me or pampering me?

In the final exam of the fourth grade, the exam papers were placed in the cabinet in my father's office. The night before the exam, I saw my dad's keys on the table and my dad went out to do the laundry. All of a sudden, I had the idea that why didn't I look at our fourth-grade papers? With that in mind, I immediately went into practice. I took the key and opened the cabinet directly, quickly scanned the roll, and found a lot of things that I didn't know. After reading it, I quickly put it back and locked the cabinet. As soon as I locked the cupboard, my dad came back from doing the laundry. I quickly took out the book and read it, and my father made fun of me and sharpened his gun. Because I never read a book at night before. The next day of the exam, the Chinese test paper was sent down, and the questions in this exam were more difficult, because I read the paper in advance and turned the book, and I answered relatively quickly, and I handed in the paper after answering. The results came in, and I scored 87 points, and the best student in my class only scored 75 points. Dad came back and asked me casually, "Did you read the paper in advance?" I feel that a storm is coming, and I don't know how to answer, and I am ready to be cleaned up. At this time, a teacher came to the office and asked something else to interrupt my conversation with Dad, who went out. Dad didn't mention it again.

Years later, I wondered what kind of punishment my brother would have been given if it had happened to him.

I spent my elementary school in this kind of relaxed management, and I took the junior high school exam with the first grade in my grade.

I usually don't study so well, and in that high school entrance examination, the language was very simple, and everyone couldn't score at all. I can do all the math problems, but I can't do the last big problem halfway through. I never cared about the exam, my dad never cared about the test results, and I didn't care, I wanted to just hand in the paper, but when I wanted to hand in the paper, I had to stand outside, so I might as well sit in the classroom.

When I was scribbling on the straw paper, in the front seat of me, a male classmate, looked very good, his roll was accidentally transferred to the ground, I unintentionally glanced at the paper, just looked at the question, I saw the position of his auxiliary line, I looked at my own paper again, and also drew the auxiliary line in that position, I will do it after the line, I finished the problem.

That year, I actually scored 100 points in mathematics and 97 points in Chinese, the first in the whole grade.

I was shocked by myself, but I didn't feel my dad excited.

My mother was a math teacher, but in my memory, my mother could gather her children to my house during the summer vacation to make up for everyone's lessons, and my mother never told me a math problem. Mom is full of patience for other children, but for her brother's learning, Mom has no patience, and it is often a matter of time to get started. Mom and Dad are very strict with my brother, studying, living, in my brother's entire elementary school days, I don't know how many beatings my parents have beaten. I never thought deeply about why my parents asked me and my brother differently. I've always been stubborn that my dad loves me and prefers me.

Every time Dad sends something to school, Dad always says to give it to Xiaoyu. Once the school handed out a relatively high-end cup, and Dad casually said to give it to Xiaoyu. Mom objected: Send anything to Xiaoyu, Xiaoyang is in junior high school and needs a cup.

This was established in my young heart that my father loved me the most. I made so many mistakes in elementary school, and my dad never hit me, not even yelling at me.

My brother once said to me, don't treat yourself as a princess and develop a princess disease. But that's what I thought in my heart, and the relaxed environment my father gave me gave me such an illusion.

I barely saw my father's expectations or disappointment with me. There was only one thing in elementary school where I saw a hint of disappointment on my father's face, but it was also fleeting.

When I was in the sixth grade, the school was going to be built, and the school cut down a lot of trees and decided to give them to the teachers at the school.

At that time, wood was needed to build a house. However, the trees were of different sizes, and in the end, for the sake of fairness, the trees were numbered and everyone drew lots. But Mom and Dad have already come up with the idea of renovating a house in the countryside, and Dad longs for a big tree. Dad said let me catch it, and I participated, and the tree corresponding to the note I grabbed was the thinnest tree, and Dad's face was slightly disappointed, fleeting.

It was in this chaos that I walked through my elementary school years.