"Doctor Lele, you kept mentioning emotional intelligence just now, what is emotional intelligence?" Jiang Yuxin doesn't know much about this so-called emotional intelligence.

"Look, you know so much about unknown creatures and don't interest in anything else, that's your problem. ”

"Then tell me about it. Jiang Yuxin also took out his notebook and prepared to take notes. Lele is very satisfied with this child, and sure enough, his IQ is not low, and he knows how to absorb the essence of others for his own use.

"Do you like to talk?" asked Lele.

"Of course love, I really want to express myself, and sometimes I want to say everything I know. ”

"You also said before, you told your classmates or teachers about unknown creatures, they said you were insane, do you know the cause of the problem?"

"Well, I really don't know?"

"You can start from beginning to end, but you have to remember that you're speaking to the other person, not to yourself. Therefore, speaking is not just about trying to be happy, you must take into account the interests of the other party, you have to listen to it, you have to find out the interests of the other party, and then choose the person they are interested in to talk, your classmates or teachers may not like the so-called unknown creatures, and you are only interested in unknown creatures, keep talking, they will be very disgusted, to let them recognize you again, you only have to change your interests and hobbies again?"

"But, Sister Lele, I'm really not interested in anything else?"

"You have to try to change, people are willing to listen to your conversation, because you have a certain kind of discussion worth listening to, or because you know some special news, or because you have a unique opinion on a certain issue, so they will be willing to listen to you patiently, when you find out the focus of their interest, you can keep talking, you have to pay attention, even if it is a good topic, you have to stop talking about it, otherwise it will be tiring, after talking about a topic, if you can't get the other person to speak, and you must still support the situation, you have to find another new topic, so as to maintain the other person's interest。 Just like your unknown creatures, you may say that others will be interested once, but if you say too much, you will be disgusted, just like when we eat, every day is white rice, which people will get tired of, and occasionally it will be like a change of taste. ”

"So, I see. ”

"Also, the way you speak, how to break the ice, that's also crucial, I'll give you an example, socially, the best conversation is to have someone else's words in it. The kind of person who doesn't seem to like to talk or listen often sits in a corner of the living room. He would laugh when he happened to hear the laughter of another group, but it was obviously perfunctory, for the smile was then gone, and his eyes had shifted to another painting on the wall. Although this kind of person will never come to see you alone, if you meet in someone else's house, or happen to be sitting next to you at a banquet, then you can't help but think of a way. First of all, you have to understand that this kind of person is probably older or younger in a group of people, or has a higher interest in learning, while at the same time the other people present here are a little more tacky, and the problem is nothing more than eating and drinking, or speaking vulgar language, which makes the more cultivated people disdain, so that he hides in a corner alone. As long as you know the crux of the problem, it is not difficult to deal with it, you can find out what his knowledge and interests are in a few sentences, and then talk to him about it. As long as you have good interrogation skills, you can win an opportunity to increase your knowledge, and he will see that you are a good talker, and it is easy to use you as a confidant, so that the deadlock will be opened, and the older or younger class, because of their different interests, so their interests are not compatible, and in principle the same method can be used. ”

"Doctor Lele, this method is good, but emotional intelligence is not something that can be learned in a while, is there a way to hurry up? I want my classmates or teachers not to think I'm a psychopath!"

"No, there is a process for everything, step by step, you can't blindly try to be fast, you take cold medicine, what medicine do you think can cure your cold at one time, and it can also ensure that it does not recur in the future?"

"This one doesn't seem to be. ”

"It's not that there isn't, it's definitely not going to be, the ingredients of the drug can also manage antibodies for a few months, people with better physical fitness may be more than half a year, and there will be no recurrence at all, whether ancient or modern as far as I know, there is no such talent, EQ is not like IQ, IQ is congenital, there are too many force majeure factors, EQ is based on your study, work, and experience in getting along with people, every day you understand a little, it's good, I don't know what you're anxious about?"

"Sister Lele, I'm anxious, thanks to my dad's genetics, and I'm not very good at talking, you are teaching me something useful!" Jiang Yuxin took the pen and continued to take notes.

"I'll give you an example, if you're going to visit someone, you should be able to leave after you have briefly stated the purpose. Even if circumstances allow you to linger for some time, you should move the conversation elsewhere. As long as he knows your purpose, your ability, your minimum remuneration, etc., let the other party deal with it calmly in the future, and no one will be interested in this kind of thing for a long time. If there is an opportunity, it will belong to those who please people. I read a report on the Internet before, there is a person who is very interested in commercial advertising, and once, he went to visit the manager of a large company for the purpose of applying for a job, and after the meeting, he never said what he wanted to do. He only chatted with the manager, and in his clever conversation he tried to explain as much as possible the importance of advertising to the business and the methods of its use, and he gave many powerful examples, and his wealth of knowledge aroused the interest of the manager, but he did not say anything about the job, but the manager took the initiative to ask him to design advertising things for the company, and his purpose was achieved. This is the person who creates opportunities for himself with just one word. In addition, there was a young man who applied for a position in a washing machine factory, and he was originally a layman, but in order to apply, he investigated the number of products and sales markets of domestic washing machine factories in advance, the position of foreign washing machines in the market, the comparison of the products of various washing machine factories, and the business situation of competing manufacturers. When he applied for the job, he was intrigued by the host for his extensive research on the washing machine industry, and he stood out from dozens of applicants and was successfully accepted. Therefore, preparing some conversation materials in advance that will arouse the interest of the other person and show your talents for the profession can often help you succeed. These are two examples to share with you, communicate with people to prepare in advance, not what words blurt out directly, just like you are still a student, students must take the exam right, will be notified before the exam, then you use this time to review and prepare, do enough preparation, generally there will not be much problem. ”

"Thank you, Dr. Lele, I have memorized this method, but how can I judge the disgust of others when I communicate with others?"

"There is a kind of voice called body language, and experiments have proved that when a person transmits information to the outside world, only 8% is transmitted through language, the other 37% is expressed through tone, tone, etc., and the remaining 55% is transmitted through body language and other information. When it comes to conveying a message, body language is a subconscious action of people. Posture is a silent language, although people's body language has its own characteristics, and most of these postures are unconsciously revealed, but from these body language, we can read people's mental activities. For example, a person's brow is furrowed and his eyes are focused, which may indicate displeasure, disapproval, or concern or concern, or he or she is determined to purse his lips tightly. If he purses his lips and avoids contact with other people's eyes, it may indicate that he has some kind of secret in his heart and does not want to reveal it at this time. His lips often open unconsciously, showing a tired and lazy appearance, indicating that he may be bored with himself and his environment. Arms crossed over my chest, sometimes because I felt cold, sometimes because I was overly nervous or shy, but it could also be understood that what you said was an inexplicable threat to me, and I refused to listen any further. People always unconsciously make small gestures to hide their inner uneasiness when they speak, for example, if the person you are talking to is often accompanied by a gesture to cover their mouth, it means that they may be lying. It should be reminded that since any kind of body language can have multiple meanings, it is important to decipher the body language of others in isolation and to understand it comprehensively, so as to gain a more true insight into a person's true intentions and inner world. Like eyes, gestures, and clothing can show a person's personality and preferences, it is recommended that you can buy books in this area and read more, I believe you can become a master of emotional intelligence. ”

"Doctor Lele, I probably know how to do it, first of all, after I go back, I don't just study my unknown creatures, I should learn in many ways, when communicating with people, I should not talk about unknown creatures, I should first understand a person's preferences, talk generously, point to the end, study hard, I believe I will get back on the right track." ”

"Yes, I have always been very optimistic about your IQ, you are still a little emotional intelligence, you can't be in a hurry, take your time, the so-called emotional intelligence, is emotional intelligence, used to describe a person's cognition and control of their own and other people's emotions, known as in addition to IQ, another reference element of human life science. It shows a person's compassion, emotional expression ability, kindness, friendship, respect for others, ability to withstand pressure, perseverance and interpersonal skills, is one of the key factors of a person's success. If a person is withdrawn, weird, not easy to cooperate, low self-esteem, fragile, unable to face setbacks, impatient, stubborn, conceited, emotionally unstable, no matter how high his IQ is, it is not easy to achieve, Lele hopes that you not only have a high IQ, but also high emotional intelligence, which will bring you rich gains in your future work and life. ”

"Thank you, Dr. Lele, listen to you, you are better than ten years of study, your medical skills are really powerful, I hope Dr. Lele has a deeper study in psychology, bringing new hope to more patients with mental illness. ”

"That's good, I'm learning very fast, let's go, let's go to Jin Dong together, I'm also good friends." ”

Jin Wenhui Office...

"Sister Su, I haven't seen you for a while, you are still so young and beautiful, charming and moving, I heard that Sister Su is very popular in school, and there are no students absent from Sister Su's class. Jin Wenhui said.

"Haha, Xiao Nizi, just make fun of me, I'm forty years old, my daughters are so old, the years are unforgiving, I really miss my youth, I saw the shadow of my youth in you, Wen Hui is less than thirty, really, I don't see you take your boyfriend. ”

"It's early for my boyfriend, but I haven't seen your husband in a long time. ”

"He, don't talk about him, we only see each other once a month, and I regret marrying him on a long-term business trip, if my daughter wasn't so old, I would have had a showdown with him, haha. ”

"Sister Su, the society is so good, why not find a little lover and listen to you every day. ”

Both beauties burst out laughing.