442. Want to die

Feng Zijian has mixed feelings in his heart, no matter how Li Zhannan is, he is also a sweet father!

Of course, he also knew about the immoral things that Li Zhannan did back then, and he also despised him for doing whatever it took to disregard his family affection for money, but tonight, I don't know why, he actually sympathized with him.

Even, he felt that he understood him a little.

He was also born in hardship, and his father was gone since he was a child, and his mother pulled him to grow up alone, and his sick desire for money may come from the psychological shadow left by poverty since childhood!

The owner of the kebab said that Li Zhannan's mother died a few days ago, and now Li Zhannan lives alone, he has no job, he gets drunk all day, and owes a lot of wine money everywhere, and now, all the people who know him are unwilling to give him credit.

Just now he lied to him and said that he had found a job, and the boss had advanced his salary in advance, so he grilled skewers for him to eat and sold wine for him to drink, but he didn't expect him to be penniless.

The more Feng Zijian listened, the more uncomfortable he became.

He left the kebab boss behind and chased him in the direction Li Zhannan had walked before.

Chased to a river, he saw him sitting by the river, looking at the river, not knowing what he was thinking.

Feng Zijian approached him, the night was silent, Feng Zijian's footsteps were very abrupt, and he glanced back at him.

The night breeze was cool, blowing his unkempt gray hair.

He looked like a man in his sixties, not at all like a man in his forties.

"Young man, you seem to be a very decent person, why follow someone like me?"

"It's late at night, go home!" Feng Zijian said.

He glanced at Feng Zijian again.

"I don't have a home. ”

He continued: "You shouldn't have taken care of me just now, a person like me, no one will collect the body when he dies, if he just beat me to death, at least there will be one person who collects the body for me!"

Feng Zijian lit a cigarette, handed it to Li Zhannan, and smoked it himself.

He puffed out a puff of cigarette.

"You're sitting here so late, do you want to jump into the river?"

"Yes, but I'm afraid that the water is too cold, and the water must taste bad in my nose!"

"It means that you don't want to die, if you really want to die, you won't worry about this!"

"It's so hard to live, can't you choose a more comfortable way when you die?"

"What you say makes sense, but is there a more comfortable way to die? If you didn't let me take care of you just now, can you be beaten to death by being beaten to death to die more comfortably? It seems to be more painful than jumping into the river!"

"It's better than being a starving ghost!"

"Do you want to have a full meal and die?"

"Yes! I've been thinking about this question these days, especially when I'm hungry, and I think that if I die like this, I might become a starving ghost! But when I'm full, I can't think of how to die, I'm afraid of pain when I jump off a building, I can't afford to buy medicine, and I've heard that it's less painful to die by turning on the gas, but I don't even have a place to live now. ”

"Why do you want to die? I see that you are in good health, why don't you want to live? Many people who are not in good health go to the hospital to toss desperately in order to survive! As long as you are not lazy and do not talk about getting rich, you should have no problem filling your stomach!"

"My mother is gone, I have no relatives in this world, no worries, and there is no point in living. ”

"What about your sons and daughters? I heard that you have daughters and sons. ”

He looked up blankly at the river.

Children, he has never given love to them, and what he has gained is their indifference and even hatred.