We walk on the dirty and muddy path of memory, who will give up, who can persevere. But before the city in my heart collapsed, I looked back, crying and kept walking.

And after all, there will be a heavy rain, and the breeze will blow away the dust of the city and wash away the mud on the trouser legs. So memory is a song of the years, hummed gently, and slowly no one will remember the lyrics.

-I have a habit of lighting a cigarette when I wake up, especially at five or six o'clock in the morning, when I can hear the wind blowing, the birdsong, and the sizzle of burning tobacco.

I tend to inhale cigarettes into my lungs, hold two breaths, circle my lungs for three and a half weeks, and then spit them out with pleasure, and I will have a sense of satisfaction in washing away the lead.

At 7 o'clock in the morning, Mianyang City was as lonely as usual, and after getting up and getting up, I tried my best to get up from the bed, and went to the window to usher in the early autumn with a little refreshing and cool breeze.

I started to be in a daze, and I don't know when it began, sitting in bed in a daze has become a compulsory part of my daily morning......

Maybe it's because in the remote and comfortable small city of Mianyang, basically no one is crazy to make money and busy making a living. That's why it's such a comfortable life—

If there is, it must be someone from the underworld who comes up to breathe......

After the compulsory course in the morning, I touched the small pocket of my pants, took out a wrinkled Zhongnanhai sandwiched between my fingers, leaned my face out of the window to meet the autumn breeze, I took a deep breath, enjoying the comfort brought to me by this silent city at 7 o'clock in the morning and the sobriety of the whole day...

I knew it was my last cigarette of the day or even the week, so I lit it very carefully

I pressed the valve slowly with my thumb to prevent the gas from catching up with the spark and not catching fire. I watched as the flame lit the first most prominent tobacco and extended it to the entire butt。。。。。

I quietly listened to the sizzling sound of each cigarette burning, enjoyed every puff of smoke I inhaled into my lungs, and walked the smoke around my lungs according to the program for three and a half weeks, and then slowly exhaled it......

"Come on!"

I was talking to myself with some interest.

I slowly calmed down my irritable mood and unconsciously continued to smoke, because of the pleasure brought by tobacco, I completely forgot that the rain cornice on the windowsill had been demolished yesterday。。。。。。

I realized it later

By the time I reacted, the rain had already drenched my cigarettes.

Tears flowed

I tried to light the drenched cigarette and put it on the window edge.

"I should still be able to smoke it if I dry it," I thought.

If I were asked to choose once, I wouldn't open the window, life and poetry, I would choose the former.

I rummaged through my trouser pocket and couldn't find a second cigarette, until Zheng Wei's voice scolding his mother came from the phone: "I'm your uncle! So be it. I have an ex-girlfriend in the physical examination department of the hospital, you go to check, I will reimburse the expenses... ”

Speechless, I hardly have an advantage in talking to him, I consider myself a very cheap person. But in front of him, I lost confused. I'm ready to be belittled by him...

But slowly, the atmosphere became silent, in my impression. Zheng Wei is not a person who will replace words with silence. ——

"Lao Liang, let's come to the band first. His voice on the phone suddenly became heavy, and even if he dies a girlfriend, he won't be too sad to talk to me in such a tone...

I suddenly had a bad feeling in my mind, and some excitement about discovering the unknown. The more I thought about it, the more chaotic it became, I shook my dizzy head, I couldn't think of what was going on, but the uneasiness in my heart became deeper and deeper.

"No matter, let's go over first. "I've always been reluctant to work on the unknown, it doesn't make much sense, my life is all rehearsals,,, Survive the day, survive the day.

What kind of life is this? A lot of people's lives.

I just found some meaning in this kind of life that I could get rid of.

I took a taxi to the gate of the studio of the "Fairy Leigh" band, and as soon as my left foot stepped out of the car door, Zheng Wei immediately ran out like a dog grandson and grabbed my shoulder tightly with a wave of his big hand, as if he was afraid that I would run away in the next second.

Just as this grandson grabbed me, Qiu Rui and Lisa also rushed out of the studio one after the other to form a corner and surround me.

I looked at the clouds and fog, and finally couldn't hide my doubts, and asked: "Brother, how many are you ??? anti-theft drill?

Cai Lisha interrupted me and said seriously: "Don't be poor, you can still laugh later, my mother will call you father in this life." She said with her chest straight, for fear that others would not know about the 36c under her jacket.

Qiu Rui also said shamelessly: "Me too, you'd better calm down your current mood" and then took me a branch of Hongta Mountain heavily

Zheng Wei's grandson finally spoke, with the same cheapness: "Lao Liang, it's not that my brother doesn't help you, and it's not that my buddy doesn't think about you, the main thing is that I can't stop it, we haven't stopped it, you can't blame us for this, you can only blame us for being too poor, you can only blame the creation of people." After speaking, he patted me on the shoulder, as if he was serious。。。。。

My mood can be said to have fallen from the climax to the bottom, the uneasiness in my heart became heavier and heavier, and I forgot to light the cigarette I touched from Qiu Rui

I looked at their eyes, and finally couldn't help but scold them.

Giving vent to a nameless rage, my mood finally fell from the crumbling top of the mountain to the halfway up the mountain.

I hesitated for a long time and finally walked into the studio, and suddenly caught a glimpse of a slightly haggard figure sitting under the rehearsal stage, and watched her slowly turn around, revealing a side face as beautifully carved as jade

I tried to calm down, but the calming methods taught on TV didn't work, and I was in a mess

Growth is to take the things that were once important lightly and let go of what should be put down.

When people don't have real experience, they often have blind confidence, and I blindly believe that I have let go of everything

All this is just to escape from the city that has collapsed in my heart, and the moment I enter the door, the struggling emotions, the dirty mud, accompanied by a heavy rain fiercely washed away this empty city that has been rebuilt several times but is crumbling...

I could no longer hold back the emotions of collapse, remorse, struggle, grief, despair, all kinds of memories that I dare not recall rushed out of my heart hoarsely

The calm on his face that was disguised finally turned into struggle and despair.

I hope we are okay, bypassing the four seasons and staying in the most beautiful fifth season.