The first time I saw him, it was in the cafeteria.

He was gobbling up all by himself, not looking at anyone around him.

He seemed to be preoccupied with food, but I knew his spirit wasn't there.

Is this stuff, by his nature, delicious? He can't taste it.

The second time I saw him downstairs in the dormitory, he was taking out the trash.

After taking out the trash, he saw me watching him.

He glanced at me casually, and in his peripheral vision I could faintly see the vigilance and vigilance of the beast when it met a human.

The other day, when the university opened, he was cheated out of money.

A few days ago, in an interview, he made a joke and lost badly.

On that occasion, I went out of my way to look and see what the so-called joke was all about.

When he received the news, he was already on his way back.

He walked very fast, and his steps were very large, and his face, expressionless, occasionally evoked a wry smile.

He seemed to be crying. Yes, I read that right.

Through his glasses, his eyes were clearly stained with moist things, those were tears, right?

The devil weeps? I was amazed.

For some reason, looking at his back, I inexplicably felt some pain in my heart, it was a slight colic.

I don't know, but there is always a voice in my throat that wants to come out, calling him, shouting, "This classmate, please wait! Just now, you did a great job." ”

But I didn't dare to shout, I seemed to be afraid of him, a kind of fear that I would stay away.

Is it because he's the devil? But people always attack him with words, and he never shows his fangs and hurts anyone.

I was puzzled: wasn't he a wretch, how could I be afraid of him?

But I know that the devil does not need sympathy, the devil does not need to be saved, the devil does not need comfort, the devil does not need to be understood, the devil does not need to be understood, the devil ...... He's the devil!

Why, why is he the devil?

None of these thoughts seem to make much sense, the devil is the devil, do you need a reason?

He likes to communicate with others in a language that they can't understand, and every sentence, every word, contains a heavy helplessness, it's not liking, it's that he's laughing at the rules.

Did the devil accept his fate?

I'm pretty sure he didn't, otherwise, would the devil still be alive in this world?

He once criticized a group of people with radical words, just to help a classmate who lost his mother to say a few fair words, just to awaken the so-called indifference in his eyes, just to find a trace of warmth.

He's crazy! His friends didn't believe he would do such a stupid thing, and they left one after another.

Oh! That's when the devil appeared.

But that night, he cried so many times that no one knew.

Is he stupid? Maybe yes, the devil is naïve.

Is he impulsive? Maybe yes, the devil is angry.

Angry, maybe he is the real him, he has found his boiling self, why is he crying? Just for that ridiculous friendship? The devil values friendship to this extent?

At least, he guarded the good in his heart.

When I complimented him, he laughed and lowered his voice: "What do you do with that old thing?" ”

He was lying to me, and I could see the desolation in his eyes.

He rarely laughs, I haven't seen it a few times, and the devil's smile tends to be terrifying and sinister.

However, I saw him laughing, and he laughed so shyly, as if he was afraid that others would see him, and after laughing for a few seconds, he forcibly shrank in again, pretending to be cold.

Is that really good? Why are you pretending to be so that others can't see through your mind?

The devil is rarely angry, unless someone touches his bottom line, what is his bottom line? It should be something called cold, and he is strange, contrary to the general devil's qualities.

The devil loves to cry, the devil loves to be sad, the devil doesn't like to talk, the devil doesn't love to hurt people.

He was always melancholy, melancholy to the point of contradiction.

In his mind, the world was divided into two parts, one backlit and one sunny.

Where does he live? He lives in the middle of the world.

Sometimes he is very frustrated, very embarrassed, he wants to help others, and others ignore them.

It is those people who are looking for help, and they hardly come to him.

Does he want to take the initiative? Yes.

He was very entangled, why did he mix it up when someone had already helped him? Can't they solve it? So he had to stay still and stare at the book as if he had fallen asleep.

Actually, he sat there very uneasy, he was afraid of the strange light of others, the light of contempt, the devil was afraid of too many things, what could he be afraid of? He was afraid, but he was not timid, and he had a kind of courage, which is called putting him to death and being born.

Every day he longs for someone to push him into a corner, otherwise, he will not be able to find the place of his heart, he will not be happy, so he can only beg others to make him sad.

It's easy, he's easily sad.

Is he pessimistic? Is he inferior? No, no.

The devil is never pessimistic, never inferior, he does not understand what pessimism is, what inferiority is.

He only knows one thing, he is the devil, an unexpected existence, an immortal existence against the sky.

He was so tired, so tired that he wanted to lie down and embrace the earth.

Where is his motivation, where is his will, where is his partner, where is his resistance?

Despair is his eternal motivation, and sadness is his resolute will.

Loneliness is his recognized partner, and silence is his silent resistance.

Diary of September 23, 2016