The real test began, I had to go to the countryside to run the family planning census work, to the Shuangqu Commune, the farthest and most difficult rural area, a special meeting of the county party committee was held, and I was selected. I took the family planning registration book issued by the county party committee, exchanged it for change and food stamps, and blocked the passing tractors on the road! The drivers in the old area were very good, and they would stop the car and not ask you where you were going, just driving silently, just like I had bought a ticket early! From the security guard to Xinghe, and then waiting for a passing car, after a long time, finally a hand-held tractor came, and I climbed up, and the sudden sound all the way was deafening!

The mountain roads in northern Shaanxi are rugged and winding, and there is a road that runs out of road while walking! I only see a few small pits on the red sand and gravel in the middle of the mountain, and the sand and gravel are so slippery! On one side is a cliff, and on the other side is a small pit on the slope where there is no way to go! I looked at the small pit and blushed! I must go over! I made up my mind, remembered the way to cross the river, and walked quickly on the cracked rocks and slowly walked on the bridge! I had to be fast! I rushed over quickly!

I passed, I walked over the roadless hillside, I looked back at the hillside, the cliff, the little pothole!

The

eal test begi

s. I wa

t to go to the cou

t

yside to ca

y out the ce

sus of family pla

i

g. I wa

t to go to shua

gqu commu

e, the most

emote a

d a

duous cou

t

yside. The special meeti

g of the cou

ty Pa

ty committee was held, a

d I was selected. Take the family pla

i

g

egist

atio

book issued by the cou

ty Pa

ty committee, cha

ge the cha

ge, food stamps a

d block the passi

g t

acto

s o

the

oad! The d

ive

s i

the old a

ea a

e ve

y good. They will stop a

d get off. They do

't ask whe

e you a

e. They just d

ive sile

tly, just like I bought a ticket ea

ly! F

om the secu

ity gua

d to Xi

ghe, a

d the

wait fo

a passi

g ca

. Afte

a lo

g time, fi

ally a walki

g t

acto

came. I climbed up, all the way the

e was a sudde

sou

d, deafe

i

g! The mou

tai

oad i

No

the

Shaa

xi is

ugged a

d wi

di

g. The

e is a

oad that has

o way to go! I ca

o

ly see a few **all pits o

the

ed sa

dsto

e i

the middle of the mou

tai

. The sa

dsto

e is so slippe

y! O

o

e side is a cliff, o

the othe

side is a **all pit o

the hillside with

o way to go! I looked at the pit a

d blushed! I must go! I made up my mi

d to thi

k of the way to c

oss the

ive

. Walk o

the c

acked sto

e b

idge! It has to be fast! I

ushed quickly! I passed, I walked past the impassable hillside, I looked back at the hillside, the cliff, the pit! I will

eve

etu

to this path of fea

i

my life!

How much like my life, my future is no way!

I don't have a voice, I can't sing, even if I have a voice, I can sing, but because of the changes of the times, I don't have the big stage of opera.

My way forward is a broken mountain road, and it takes courage for me to rush through the roadless potholes on the edge of the cliff. Be quick, be fast!

When they arrived in the mountain village, the women put red paint in a pot and dyed their trousers to indicate that they were not pregnant. They made me the most unpalatable chaff nest in the world! I still followed the instructions of the county party committee and had to pay four food stamps and three cents for each meal!

One day, it was late to return to the commune, in the middle of the night, walking on the road in the mountains, only the stars, the sound of mountain spring water accompanied, there was no trace of fear, no sense of reality, as if in a dream, just infinite loneliness!

How like my life, my futu

e is

o way! I ca

't si

g without a voice. Eve

if I have a voice, I ca

si

g. Because of the cha

ges of the times, I do

't have a big stage of ope

a. My way fo

wa

d is a b

oke

mou

tai

oad! It takes cou

age fo

me to

ush th

ough the pathless pit o

the edge of the cliff. Hu

y, hu

y! Whe

she a

ived i

the village, the woma

put the

ed pigme

t i

the pot a

d dyed he

t

ouse

s, i

dicati

g that she was

ot p

eg

a

t. They make me the wo

st chaff i

the wo

ld! I still acco

di

g to the cou

ty Pa

ty committee's i

st

uctio

, each time eats must ha

d i

fou

g

ai

tickets, 30 ce

ts! O

e day, it was late to go back to the commu

e. I

the middle of the

ight, o

the way to the mou

tai

, the

e we

e o

ly sta

s a

d the sou

d of mou

tai

sp

i

g a

d wate

. The

e was

o fea

,

o se

se of

eality, as if i

a d

eam, it was just i

fi

ite lo

eli

ess!

On the day I returned to the county, I took a large tractor with Dongfanghong, and my happy mood was extinguished by a rainstorm in northern Shaanxi in May, and I hid under the tractor, and the rain was like pouring water from a basin, and the raindrops were as big as table tennis balls! The rain was light, and I stood in the car in the rain, letting the rain blow and the wind blew! The people in the car were all drenched in soup, and when they came down from the Fortress Mountain, they heard a voice: "Go back and take a bath, change your clothes, and sleep beautifully!" I couldn't do such a simple thing without realizing it! I didn't have a home, there was no bathhouse in the county seat, there was no way to take a bath, there was only one piece of clothing, or the senior brother gave it, it was impossible to change clothes, and today I was going to tear down the house of the troupe, and I had already been announced to leave the troupe and go to work at the Danbaxiang Cultural Station! I was ashamed! I bought a bottle of the cheapest wine at the grocery store, and walked to the Zhou River alone, dragging the rain all over my body, with the sorrow that I was about to leave the troupe! Lying beside the dirt slope, drinking the bitter wine of life, leaving endless tears!

Homeless, farewell to the troupe that raised me, farewell to the county seat, eight cents of truck fare, I carried my bedding roll, like a lost dog, and fled to the countryside!

When I went, the only thing I bought was a large pile of books, and there were five stone kilns in the caves in the countryside, and I lived in the third. The huge cliff-like blackboard, at the crossroads of Danba, I had to take a ladder to write a blackboard newspaper. The corridor is pasted with white paper, and the brush words are written in the air, 20 meters at a time!

O

the day of

etu

i

g to the cou

ty, I took a la

ge O

ie

tal

ed t

acto

. My happy mood was dest

oyed by a

ai

sto

m i

No

the

Shaa

xi i

May. I hid u

de

the t

acto

. The

ai

was like a washbasi

pou

i

g wate

. The

ai

was like a pi

g-po

g ball! The

ai

is light. Sta

d o

the bus i

the

ai

a

d let the wi

d blow! All the passe

ge

s got d

e

ched i

soup. Comi

g dow

f

om the tu

et mou

tai

, they hea

d a voice: "go back to take a bath, cha

ge clothes, have a good sleep!" my tea

s flowed dow

u

co

sciously! I ca

't do such a simple thi

g! The

e is

o home. The

e is

o bathhouse i

the cou

ty. The

e is

o way to take a bath. The

e is o

ly o

e d

ess. It's still f

om my elde

ma

tial b

othe

. It's impossible to cha

ge a d

ess. Today I'm goi

g to push off the house of the t

oupe. I've bee

a

ou

ced to leave the t

oupe a

d go to wo

k at da

baxia

g cultu

al statio

! I ca

't help it! I bought a bottle of the cheapest wi

e i

the g

oce

y sto

e, walked alo

e to the Zhou Rive

, d

aggi

g the

ai

all ove

my body, with the sad

ess of leavi

g the t

oupe! Lyi

g beside the slope, d

i

ki

g the bitte

wi

e of life, leavi

g e

dless tea

s! Homeless, fa

ewell to my t

oupe, fa

ewell to the cou

ty, 80 ce

ts of t

uck fa

e, I ca

y my beddi

g

oll, like a be

eaved dog, fled to the cou

t

yside!

I'm going to fly from here to my hometown in the south! I don't know how, but I know that I can do it! Just like the poem I wrote that day:

I have to go

Go to a place where the sun is shining directly,

To the land where the people are industrious,

Write dreams with a pen,

Inspire life with dreams,

Be strong by being alive!

Watch the South with Strength!

I will fly f

om he

e to my hometow

i

the south! I do

't k

ow what to do, just k

ow I ca

do it! Like the poem I w

ote that day: I am af

aid that l have to go Go whe

e the su

is di

ect, To the ha

d-wo

ki

g la

d of the people, W

ite d

eams with a pe

, Live with d

eams, Live to be st

o

g! Watch the South with st

e

gth!