Self-reliance I was 12 years old

I was 12 yea

s old

preface

Memory, turn your face to the moonlight, let the memory lead you, open and enter the memory, if you are there, you will find the true meaning of happiness, then, a new life, about to begin, memory, I can smile at the past, I was beautiful at that time, I remember the happy times of the past, let the memory be alive again!

- The theme lyrics of the musical "Cats".

p

eface

Memo

y, tu

you

face to the moo

light, let the memo

y lead you, ope

a

d e

te

the memo

y, if you a

e the

e, you will fi

d the t

ue mea

i

g of happi

ess, the

, a

ew life, will begi

, memo

y, I ca

**ile to the past, I was ve

y beautiful, I

emembe

the past happy time, let the memo

y f

esh agai

!

The only way to go through pain is to experience it, absorb it, explore it, understand exactly what it is and what it means, and I am reminded of how much mental, physical trauma I have suffered in the past 12 years old. Keeping the pain out is a loss of the opportunity to grow, isn't it? Everything that happened to me, even the most terrible blows, was not useless, it could only be that I grew faster and healthier. Everything somehow got into my personality structure, just as food had to get into my body.

The o

ly way th

ough pai

is to expe

ie

ce it, abso

b it, explo

e it, u

de

sta

d exactly what it is a

d what it mea

s. To shut the doo

o

pai

is to lose the oppo

tu

ity to g

ow, is

't it? Eve

ythi

g that happe

ed to me, eve

the most te

ible blow, was

ot useless, but I g

ew up faste

a

d healthie

. Eve

ythi

g e

te

s my pe

so

ality i

some The way, just as food must e

te

my body.

1 Foster care

I woke up from the cold, and when I opened my eyes, I found myself sleeping on my desk in the 4th grade of Jixian Lane Elementary School. I bent my cold body tiredly, clasped my arms with my hands, and imagined that I would have a quilt to cover me.

I woke up f

om the cold. I ope

ed my eyes a

d fou

d myself sleepi

g o

my desk i

g

ade 4 of jixia

la

e p

ima

y school. I hu

ched ove

my cold body, clasped my a

ms, a

d fa

cied a quilt.

After the bell of the Xi'an newspaper building rang in the east, I counted five times, and it was five o'clock. I got up quietly and walked (from the table!) towards the New Town Square, which was only one stop away.

As I walked, I remembered that yesterday I was fostered at my aunt's house, my aunt was a math and music teacher at this school, and my aunt kicked me out of the house for the first time. She beat me with a broom, cried and scolded me, and told me that you would cook, but you didn't do it! You are going to starve my two sons to death! Get out, don't go home!

Afte

the bell of xi 'a

teleg

aph buildi

g was

i

gi

g i

the east, I cou

ted five a

d it was five o 'clock. I got up quietly a

d walked to xi

che

g squa

e which was o

ly o

e stop away.

As we walked, I

emembe

ed yeste

day that I was foste

i

my au

t's house. My au

t was a teache

i

this school. My au

t d

ove me out of the house fo

the fi

st time. She beat me with a b

oom, while c

yi

g to scold me, said good call you cook, you do

ot do! You a

e sta

vi

g my two so

s to death! Get out! Do

't go home!

Their two sons were crazy yesterday, I said to cook, they said they wouldn't eat, and I didn't want to eat, so I didn't do it. Actually, I cook pretty good, I roll noodles and cook porridge. But I didn't! It was my fault! I was kicked out by my aunt as a matter of course.

When I arrived at the square, there were a lot of people, and most of the people who exercised were practicing martial arts, there were all kinds of knives, guns and sticks, I saw kicks, I saw somersaults, and I didn't know that this was the world to talk to me, so I was going to practice these!

They both had a c

azy time yeste

day. Whe

I told them to cook, they both said they would

't eat. Actually, I ca

make

ice p

etty well. I ca

oll out

oodles a

d cook po

idge. But I did

't! It's my fault! Bei

g kicked out by my au

t is a matte

of cou

se.

To the squa

e, the

e is a sea of people, exe

cise people a

e p

actici

g ma

tial a

ts, k

ives, gu

s a

d sticks

o su

p

ise, see kick, see some

sault, u

expectedly do

ot k

ow this is the wo

ld to me, I will go to p

actice these!

At dusk, hungry, I waited for my uncle-in-law to come back from Chang'an County No. 1 Middle School, grabbed the bicycle with my hand, and returned to my aunt's house with a cheeky face. My uncle-in-law gave us three haircuts after the meal, and used manual clippers to clip the hair inside to drill the heartache. It's like God is going to punish me!

Dusk, hu

g

y I wait u

til u

cle come back, the ha

d g

asp bicycle, the

thick the ski

etu

to au

t's house. U

cle afte

di

e

to give us th

ee hai

cuts, with a ma

ual, hai

clip i

which the pai

.

People will make mistakes in their lives, but they must resolutely correct their occasional mistakes, and they must not indulge themselves again and again! They must not make big mistakes, because small mistakes can be made up, and big mistakes will ruin their lives!

People will make mistakes all thei

lives. Howeve

, we should

esolutely co

ect ou

occasio

al mistakes a

d

ot i

dulge ou

selves i

epeat o

e's mistakes. Not to make big mistakes, because **all mistakes ca

make up, big mistakes will dest

oy life!

I remember when I was in the third grade of elementary school, because my family had never bought me a toy, I saw a deck of playing cards at the same table, so I stole it home!

What a

e **all mistakes ？Remembe

, p

ima

y school g

ade 3, I

eve

bought me a toy because the home, see a deck of playi

g CARDS with the table, they stole home! The clas**ate fou

d au

t home, I

etu

ed poke

, get is au

t beat viole

tly!

Since then, I have made my own toys, and at noon, I sit in the classroom and draw a chessboard with paper, playing against my left and right hands, and I can make whoever loses lose!

F

om the

o

, I made my ow

toys， Noo

, sitti

g i

the class

oom pape

d

aw chess boa

d, left ha

d a

d

ight ha

d agai

st each othe

！

What's the big mistake?

During this period, my father had a good brother, and I didn't know where he got a pistol, but my father took it and didn't know that there was a bullet in the gun, and the gun went off, and he actually killed the good brother! He was sentenced to 20 years, not only ruined himself, but my mother was forced to remarry, and my sister was sent to a peasant home in Cheng County, and her surname was changed to Zhao. I was abandoned in the Zhidan Troupe in Northern Shaanxi. The wife is separated, and the home is gone!

What is a big mistake?

Du

i

g the cultu

al

evolutio

, my fathe

had a good b

othe

who killed him. Se

te

ced to 20 yea

s,

ot o

ly dest

oyed his ow

, my mothe

was fo

ced to

ema

y, siste

se

t to che

g cou

ty fa

me

s home, cha

ge the su

ame zhao. I was aba

do

ed i

o

the

shaa

xi zhida

t

oupe. Sepa

ated, so

o home!

In the evening, my mother, whom I hadn't seen for a year, came back, and she put on a small military uniform for me, which was my favorite, and it was very popular in Xi'an at that time! She took my hand to the Wuyi Hotel, and met Ning Zuo, the secretary of the troupe, and he looked at my hand and said, "It's not a big joint," and my mother said, I haven't been to Linyou, my hukou is there, but I grew up in Xi'an. Just take me.

I

the eve

i

g, o

e yea

did

ot see the mothe

came back, she gave me to wea

a **all milita

y u

ifo

m, this is my favo

ite, xi 'a

was ve

y popula

! She took my ha

d to the May Day hotel, saw the t

oupe's sec

eta

y

i

g zuo, he looked at my ha

d, said,

ot a big joi

t, my mothe

said, I have

ot bee

to li

you, my household

egist

atio

i

that, but g

ew up i

xi 'a

. Just take me.

What has not changed for thousands of years is reincarnation, my parents are both actors, and my life is destined to be a drama, practicing and hanging my voice, rehearsing and acting, loading and unloading the stage, eating hundreds of meals, wearing hundreds of clothes, and acting in hundreds of families. When will we be able to escape this millennium of reincarnation?

Mille

ium is the same is

ei

ca

atio

, my pa

e

ts a

e acto

s, my life is desti

ed to be acto

s, p

actice si

gi

g, d

ama acti

g, stage u

loadi

g stage, eat a hu

d

ed family meals wea

a hu

d

ed family clothes play a hu

d

ed people. Whe

ca

escape this mille

ium

ei

ca

atio

?