After the first class, some students ran back to the dormitory, took the triangular bracket over, and the study committee took the lead and found a single-lens reflex camera, which was placed in the middle of the lecture hall, which could perfectly capture all the details of Mr. Yuan's class.

Some old professors often have teaching assistants to help record class videos when they are in class, and although Yuan Jia has not reached this level, the students spontaneously want to record all his classes.

Mr. Yuan's class is really good.

In the last class, almost no one played with their mobile phones, and many students who came to the class listened with relish.

The bell rings and the second class begins.

There are chairs behind the podium, and many university liberal arts teachers like to sit and lecture, and only use computers to explain PPT throughout the whole process, and even chalk is rarely used.

Yuan Jia is standing and lecturing, and he often walks around the stage, his PPT is not beautiful, but the first-hand board book is absolutely amazing, and the words are pleasing to the eye.

Sometimes it is necessary to draw simple graphics to depict psychological relationships, and he holds the chalk in his hand and makes a circle, which is as round as a compass, and this hand alone amazes the students in the audience.

At the end of the lesson, a girl raised her hand to ask a question.

"Shen Yun, please speak. ”

Yuan Jia called out her name accurately, and the girl was stunned, and then felt a warm current in her heart.

Yesterday, when the roll call was called, she simply introduced herself, and she was not active in class, she just buried herself in notes, and the other teachers couldn't call her name, but Teacher Yuan easily called out, this clever and effective compliment, made her feel that she was greatly respected.

"Teacher Yuan, you just mentioned the influence of the original family, but we can't choose our own birth, it seems like fate, if there is a manic father and a mother who is very controlling, then what should I do?"

Shen Yun raised her own question, and judging from the expression on her face, it was not difficult for Yuan Jia to see that the 'manic father' and 'controlling mother' in her question were actually a portrayal of her own real family.

Of course, Yuan Jia would not say anything, he nodded, and motioned to Shen Yun to take a seat.

"The family of origin is a social relationship on which we are spiritually and materially dependent before we have the ability to live independently. The family atmosphere, traditional habits, learning objects, interactive relationships, etc., will have a profound impact on the performance of children. ”

"Let's take the original family mentioned in Shen Yun's question just now as an example. ”

"A manic father and a controlling mother play the role of 'pressurer' and 'controller' in addition to playing the role of parent in the family relationship. ”

"For the 'pressur', his purpose is very simple, he wants you not to go, and if he is manic, then you have to bear his mania, follow his emotional logic, and do not allow any opinions. ”

"For the 'controller', he feels that everything is unfair, he is full of resentment about life, and only by living at his pace, according to the way he has set, can he feel at peace. ”

Because the students in the class are all psychology majors, Yuan Jia has to talk a little deeper than the explanation in the live broadcast.

"Whether it is a pressurer or a controller, their hearts are actually controlled by two emotions, one is a sense of accomplishment and the other is frustration, and frustration is the majority. They act to escape this frustration. ”

"That's the first step we're going to do, get to know your family of origin. ”

The students in the audience listened very carefully, looking up at Teacher Yuan from time to time, or bowing their heads and taking quick notes.

Yuan Jia's speech speed was very well controlled, and his words were clear, sounding effortless.

"After you have completed the first step of understanding, the second step you need to do is to admit it. ”

"You have to admit that you can't change them, because their current behavior is also caused by their growth environment, and their thinking logic is self-consistent, unless you turn them into children again and give them a different growth experience. ”

"Family, love, communication, reasoning, etc., it is difficult to change a person, even if it can, it is only a moment, it will not be long before it will relapse into the past, and a person's character formation must be rooted in the past. ”

"If you can't admit it, or you want to change these things with a lot of energy, then that's when the family of origin really affects you. ”

"You may focus most of your energy on complaining about your parents, feeling that they are responsible for your misfortune, and then gradually, you will become like your parents, you will become a 'pressurer' and a 'controller', you will start to feel angry, you will start to feel unfair, you will start to feel that you have no sense of control over your life, and your parents' behavior will reappear in you and you will bring you into a new family environment. ”

Hearing this, most of the students gasped, this is the most terrible impact, and it is subtle, if you don't introspect, you won't notice it at all, there is a kind of 'dragon slayer warrior will eventually become a dragon'.

Yuan Jia had already walked under the podium, standing in the middle of the student group, his voice became gentle, and he sighed vaguely, as if he could empathize with this emotion.

Listening to Teacher Yuan's lectures, the most obvious difference with other teachers' lectures is 'emotional mobilization'

Teacher Yuan can easily mobilize students' emotions, and it is difficult to get distracted.

All the attention of the students will unconsciously fall on Mr. Yuan, watching his every movement, every expression, listening to every word and sentence he says, looking at his gestures, looking at his open and closed mouth, and the eyes that seem to hide many emotions, the rhythm of the whole class is under his control.

This is the charm of body language and facial expressions, many times, Yuan Jia doesn't even need to speak, but the students can easily grasp a lot of information from his body movements and facial expressions.

And this kind of information is more impressive, and it will become a picture and stay in my mind.

Yuan Jia continued to speak.

"When you learn to admit that there are really unsolvable problems in this world, you will feel more relaxed than ever. ”

Because you don't need to waste energy on this unsolvable problem, the problem can no longer control your emotions and psychology, let go of it, don't think about it, and put your limited energy on the real problem that can be solved. ”

"What problems can be solved?"

"It must be easier to change yourself than to change others, and you can learn to slowly build a new understanding. Tell yourself 'I'm living in the moment, I can have a healthier and rational lifestyle as an adult, and I don't need to invest in those negative relationships and behaviors that I know are hurtful.'"

"The family of origin should not be an excuse for you to refuse to change or give up, it should be the motivation for you to make changes at the moment. ”

"The family of origin is not your responsibility, but your own choice, your future, will be your responsibility. ”

"Learn to 'self-examine'"

More than 100 students in the audience were quiet, listening to Mr. Yuan's words, and they also understood more about how to face the problem of 'original family'.

In the future, many of them may become psychological counselors or stand in the classroom as teachers like Yuan Jia, and the inspiration that Yuan Jia has brought to them is huge.

Yuan Jia's class is very vivid, and on the topic of the original family, he also gave you an example of a very well-known film.

"How many students have watched "Wind and Rain Harvard Road"?"

As a classic inspirational film, majoring in psychology, many students have watched it and raised their hands.

"This film is a real adaptation, the girl Liz's original family is not an exaggeration to call it hell, her parents are poisonous, alcoholic, her mother is schizophrenic, she has no fixed place, she has no food, her body exudes a foul smell, she is discriminated against and ridiculed by her classmates, she lives like a mouse, she has lived by stealing and begging, until her mother dies, so that she is determined to change herself, and finally reversed her fate like hell. ”

"The girl Liz said, I don't feel sorry for myself, this is my family of origin, my world, I am different from the world where other people come, I have no way out, I have to work harder and push myself into another world. ”

"When you change, the world changes. ”

Yuan Jia spent ten minutes chatting with everyone about the topic of the original family, and after the last sentence was finished, the bell just rang.

Suzu –

Everyone in the audience woke up from a dream and came back to their senses from the state that Yuan Jia brought them into.

Thunderous applause.

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