"Hello Mr. Yuan, I feel that there is something wrong with my social state, and I am not afraid of socializing, or I am too lazy to socialize. ”

"For example, as soon as someone contacts me, I subconsciously feel very annoyed and annoyed, whether it is a phone call or anything, I am very reluctant to be contacted by others, even if I have a lot of time, I don't want to reply. ”

"I always feel like it's a waste of my time, it takes my energy to communicate with others, and sometimes I feel a sense of constraint, so I just don't reply. ”

"I don't want others to take up my time, I just want to be alone, and I never take the initiative to find others, I feel so annoying and boring, and I don't want to communicate with anyone. ”

"I feel like I'm mentally wrong, am I autistic, what should I do?"

After reading the letter, many audience members also spoke.

So do I

I almost thought I was sleepwalking and wrote a letter to Mr. Yuan

I really don't want to contact people

It's really annoying

I'd rather lie down on my own than contact someone else

Give me a mobile phone and unlimited data and money, and I can stay at home until I am old

Yuan Jia was reading the letter and thinking about finding a problem.

This social state is not the same as Gardenia's social phobia, which is an inner desire to socialize, but is deterred by the inner fear and some unnatural symptoms that come with fear.

The social state mentioned in the letter is often very unwilling on the basis of one's own subjective will, and in the current society, there are more and more people with similar psychological states.

To put it simply, I don't want to deal with people, and I don't hate this state, and I enjoy this loneliness

Of course, this can't be regarded as a mental illness, but after all, people are social, and it is indispensable to deal with people, so this psychological state is inconsistent with actual behavior, resulting in inner discomfort and annoyance

Everyone is waiting for Mr. Yuan's answer.

"Dada"

There was a knock on the door, and Huihui opened the door, holding the doorknob and dangling in.

"Brother, what are you doing eating sugar water?"

"Ah, you eat, I'm on the air. ”

"Oh. ”

Huihui ran out, and after a while, she came back cautiously, carrying a plate with a bowl of sweet potato syrup on it, her eyes staring quietly at the edge of the bowl, and carefully bringing it in.

"I'll give it to you. ”

"Be careful with the burn"

"It's all cold. ”

The audience in the live broadcast room watched the brother and sister interacting, as if they had eaten a ton of lemons.

Where can I get such a sister?

Uncle

Upstairs was thinking about fart

It's cute and lovely

Back in the live broadcast room, Yuan Jia drank sugar water while talking to the audience, and as the number of live broadcasts increased, he gradually became more natural.

Sometimes I don't bother to change my shirt, so I wear a wide T-shirt and beach pants to broadcast live, which makes the audience feel that Mr. Yuan looks more homely and friendly.

It mainly depends on the role of the face.

Yuan Jia picked up a piece of sweet potato and stuffed it into his mouth, continuing the topic just now.

"I've read your letter, and like the fans and friends in the live broadcast room, I have also felt this way, for example"

"The strongest feeling, when is it I easily recall that when I was a child, whenever there was a guest at home, my parents would call me out of the room and ask me to greet the guest, uncle, aunt, xx, good, etc., I have met it, what was it like for everyone at that time"

Mr. Yuan's example exploded

Just one word, annoying

Annoying

Annoying

The overwhelming annoying words almost blocked the video screen in the live broadcast room, Yuan Jia didn't expect a bomb to blow up so many diving audiences.

Everyone has had the experience of being pulled out to greet unfamiliar people like this in childhood, and then returning to the psychological state mentioned in the letter just now, it is not that I am afraid of socializing, or I am too lazy to socialize, and I subconsciously feel very annoyed and annoyed, and I always feel that this is a waste of my time, and there is a sense of constraint

"Isn't it all right," Yuan Jia said with a smile.

Pole pair x999

The sweet potatoes are very sweet, they were brought back from their hometown, and their grandparents planted them themselves, and Yuanjia finished drinking the sugar water and put down the bowl.

Teacher Yuan is going to be a food broadcaster

I feel very healing to watch you eat

You've managed to make me hungry

Yuan Jia ignored the barrage and continued, "Later, I summarized the reasons for this state. ”

"Students with this psychological state are probably strict with their parents' discipline in childhood. ”

"There are many aspects to this kind of discipline, including the example of forced socialization, and forced non-socialization, such as parents who are worried that you will meet bad friends and not let you have too much contact with people outside. ”

This is the main reason for this state of mind, in addition, there are also personal values, such as not wanting to waste your life on something meaningless, not wanting to get into too many personnel disputes, not wanting to say some flattering words against your will in the crowd, etc., but this will be more rational, and the sense of boredom in the heart is not so strong. ”

"Childhood experiences can affect a lifetime. ”

"Growing up in this environment, gradually, a strong sense of boundary will appear in our hearts, and when social interaction occurs, we will feel that the boundaries of ourselves are broken, resulting in a feeling of being bound and violated. ”

This emotion is called generalization. ”

"For example, a failure in a relationship is to conclude that neither a man nor a woman has a good thing. ”

And this problem is to generalize the unpleasant experience of getting along with others in childhood to getting along with other people in life. ”

This kind of sentiment analysis is not difficult for Yuan Jia, and the audience in the live broadcast room can also understand it.

Growing up, no one seems to care about their psychological growth, and they never know that a trivial thing in childhood can have such a big impact on people's psychology.

"Here I want to introduce a concept of freedom, do you think you are free?"

It's very free, and enjoys the blessings of ninety-nine-six

Experienced it before when I went on a trip

Weekends out of school don't count

Yuan Jia smiled and continued, "Of course. Freedom is the highest value thing in our lives, and you can only experience the feeling of freedom when you feel that the behavior is controlled by the ego. ”

"When the self is disturbed, for example, if you are reading a book, and someone suddenly talks to you, then at this time, it is equivalent to a part of you being replaced by someone else, then this I am no longer me, you will feel unfree, and you will inevitably have an uncomfortable and annoying feeling. ”

It's a high-level look

Teacher Yuan, don't pretend to beep

So what to do

"Nothing is completely bad, and we need to understand why it arises about the problem itself. ”

"When you know why it's happening, think about whether you need to change it. ”

"Of course, it's okay not to change, after all, life is impermanent, many people walk and walk away, learning to get along with loneliness, it's not an easy task, if the process of being alone makes us feel free and relaxed, then we enjoy this emotion. ”

"If you want to change, then you first have to deal with the generalization of emotions. ”

"Because of generalization, often you only see the negative side of socializing. ”

"There is a very good way to change this negative thinking pattern, you can try to have a good and positive intimate relationship, little by little to change the past social cognition, this is not rushed, you can take it slowly. ”

"Before the relationship starts, give yourself a hint and tell yourself that friends can be chosen, if in the process of getting along with the other person, I feel free and relaxed, then I will continue to be good friends with him, and if he makes me feel violated and uncomfortable, I also have the right to refuse to have a relationship. ”

Don't underestimate this hint, it can be very effective in helping you reduce resistance. ”

I know this, heart cat

You get it again

When the time comes, order the songs

Gardenia boss, please order the song x999

After the live broadcast these days, the audience has already understood the cruel reality, Yuanjia will sing two songs before and after the live broadcast every day, and the right to order the song is Gardenia.

Because from the first to the tenth, all of them are gardenias.

Under the ability of money, the song ordering link is really fair

Everyone even wondered if the top 100 on the list had some song power, Gardenia would have swiped a hundred trumpets

"Ah, I'll see what Gardenia likes to listen to Yuanjia sing the most, what song do you want to hear?"

So Xu Nanyu happily changed his account and ordered songs.

Gardenia likes to listen to Yuanjia sing "I want to listen to romantic mobile phones"

After the title of the song was released, Xu Nanyu's heart was pounding, after all, this is the most subtle song she has ordered these days, combined with the current state of her and Yuan Jia, almost all of them are carried out on mobile phones.

Because Yuanjia likes to listen to Dong Chou's songs, Gardenia has been listening to them recently, and then I like this one the most.

It seems to be in a quiet afternoon, while drinking afternoon tea, tasting sweet and sour snacks, feeling relaxed and happy, browsing the messages he sent on his mobile phone, feeling the romantic feelings, there is a kind of throbbing heartbeat of the crush in adolescence

Shame on you

I suspect that the gardenia boss and Mr. Yuan have a leg in private

It's still doubtful

Look at Mr. Yuan's angry expression when he sings

Report report

Yuan Jia's songs are getting better and better now when he sings, and his timbre is already very good, especially when singing this kind of gentle song, it makes female fans feel pregnant, and it is the ears

"You browse with a smile"

"Romance on the phone"

"It turns out that love can come so suddenly"

I thought it would be more at noon tomorrow.,Subscription ratio 10 to 1,There's a chance to get a boutique badge.,As a result, the subscription situation made me stupid and some classmates asked for the first order results.,Hawkers,18 to 1 subscription ratio.,Close to the concept of crash text.,Well,I deeply understand the meaning of applauding or not.,Write a little more relaxed plot after the wry smile.,Let friends who are willing to pay look more pleasant.,Recently, the circle has been messed up.,I'm blind.