"Every time I go to the hospital, I basically fill out two forms, scan the brain waves, and the doctor symbolically asks a few questions, and they are not interested in listening to me, and after prescribing the medicine, I can see in their eyes that 'you can leave'. ”

"Actually, I just want to be accepted......"

Jiang Shiyun smiled, "Actually, I don't blame them, I can't even accept myself, I really can't do it, I hate myself like this." ”

"I knew that I was rejected, I was a broken machine, the counselors couldn't fix me, they didn't want to accept me, they just wanted to stay away from me, and at that time I felt that I was hopeless, and probably this life would go on like this. ”

Since the last psychological consultation, she has completely closed off her emotions, like a glass cover, and others can only see her optimism, positivity, and cheerfulness.

If she wasn't naturally sensitive, she wouldn't have noticed what a normal person's life was like, and she never thought that there was such a big gap between herself and a normal person.

Just like what Yuan Jia just said, Jiang Shiyun never gave up on herself.

With such tenacious vitality, she never gave up even if she needed to put her hand into her chest and pinch her heart to make it beat.

But it's really tiring and tiring......

More than anyone else, she longs to feel life, but all she can feel is sadness.

When she was downstairs before, Jiang Shiyun had been hesitating to come in, and her hesitation was because if she was rejected again this time, she might really not be able to hold on.

She had seen many counselors, those who talked to her, could not touch her emotions at all, said words memorized in books, or used the harshest words, reprimanding her for being fragile, worrying, lazy, hoping to use these words to wake her up and motivate her.

Sensitive, she clearly saw impatience in the other party's eyes, and her movements and expressions were thousands of miles away, even if they said 'I understand you'.

......

During the chat with Yuan Jia just now, she experienced an unprecedented sense of pleasure, so much so that in the end, she couldn't even remember what she said.

She only remembered that she had been talking and talking, and Yuan Jia had listened quietly, but she could read the resonance in his emotions from his expression and eyes.

He didn't speak, but his movements and expressions were the most perfect language in the world, and Jiang Shiyun could receive the response he gave.

This is the first time she has told someone about these things, and she can read something called 'empathy' in the other person's expression.

Yuan Jia can truly understand her pain and sorrow, even if he didn't say a word, but Jiang Shiyun was like opening the door of her heart, shaking out all the words that had been pressed in her heart all these years.

Sometimes even Jiang Shiyun felt that she had said too much, and felt that Yuan Jia might think she was annoying and wanted to interrupt her, but she didn't have it.

He listened quietly, like her shadow, going through her experiences, feeling her feelings.

The tea was already cold, and in a trance, she heard his words.

"I felt the room filled with lingering sadness......"

Just a simple sentence.

"Lingering sadness"

These seven words hit Jiang Shiyun's heart in an instant, and her tears fell all at once.

It's the opposite of when she first entered the house, she seemed so optimistic, so talkative, and so outgoing.

She couldn't control her emotions anymore, and she crawled on the table, crying bitterly.

"Thanks... Thank... Mr. Yuan... Thank you for understanding me... Thank you ......."

Her whole body twitched, and the cry that was suppressed to the extreme, and finally released, seemed to be a trace of sadness that was painstakingly pulled out from the depths of her soul.

Jiang Shiyun cried in front of Yuan Jia for half an hour.

She was finally seen......

Finally someone knows that she is not fragile and not worried......

Someone was finally able to reach out and touch her heart through her seemingly optimistic and positive glass cover, and truly feel her sadness......

......

Jiang Shiyun has always been very clear about what she wants.

She longs to be loved, she wants to be accepted, she wants to be recognized, she wants to live like a normal person.

"I know how sad you are, you've done well, well. ”

On the basis of being understood, Jiang Shiyun felt this kind of comfort, and she didn't know how to describe her feelings.

It's the feeling of 'refreshed', the feeling of being depressed to the extreme, and suddenly unloading the burden of a thousand catties.

Three of the four wishes were fulfilled in an instant, and she really couldn't find any other adjectives to describe the mood except for the cool turnover.

Depression is not a depressive mood, she doesn't need chicken soup in words, she doesn't need someone to tell her how to do it, all she needs is acknowledgment and understanding.

Just like when she got the diagnosis of severe depression in the hospital, she was actually very happy, she felt that her pain had been proven, she was not in a bad mood, she was not hypocritical, and she was not a bad person, she was a good person, but she was sick.

......

"Teacher Yuan, I'm sorry, I made a fool of myself......"

Jiang Shiyun took the tissue handed over by Yuan Jia, wiped her tears, and couldn't help but burst out laughing, she was really happy, and she was extremely glad to meet someone who understood her.

It's like two people who have the same emotions, and she doesn't have to say anything at all, she can feel comfortable and comfortable.

The most important process of psychotherapy is the establishment of trust.

The person you trust the most is actually the most suitable counselor for you.

For ordinary visitors, the first thing to care about when looking for a suitable psychological counselor is not the other party's various certificates or qualifications, but a 'feeling'

The first is that he is able to make you feel very easy and easy to understand what he means, and he can also be very easy and easy to understand your feelings, and the communication is smooth and effortless.

The second is that you will feel interested and enthusiastic to talk to him and be willing to make an appointment for the next meeting.

The third is that after the meeting, you may not be able to say what you talked about today, but you will clearly feel that you have been inspired in some way, and your understanding of things is broader, more detailed, richer, and more confident in life.

A counselor who meets these three points is the most suitable counselor for you.

For many people with mental illness, their requirements are simpler, they don't care what you say, they only care if you can understand him and understand him, because he may know more about what to do about his own mental illness than a counselor.

Many visitors look for counselors one after another with this expectation in mind, when in fact they are just looking for someone who understands them.

Of course, most of the time, the visitors Yuan Jia encounters are not mentally ill, but just have psychological problems and fall into some kind of confusion, and then he needs to guide them.

Depression is a very difficult mental illness, and for severe cases, psychological counseling alone is almost ineffective.

For example, a normal person can feel a lot of emotions in the courtyard in the afternoon, relaxed, natural, happy, etc., but for depressed patients, the only feeling is depression and pain, which overflows the entire space.

The most effective way is to take medicine to suppress the mental defects at the physiological level, and then cooperate with psychotherapy to solve the "depression" caused by "depression"

......

Listening to Jiang Shiyun's words, Yuan Jia smiled and said softly: "It's okay, it's good to cry, how long have you not cried in front of others?"

"Hmm...... It's been seven or eight years, and the last time I cried was because when I was serving dishes in the restaurant, I splashed the vegetable soup on the guests, and I was scolded and cried, which was very embarrassing. ”

Jiang Shiyun said about the past, she worked and made money by herself after she left home, at that time she was not old enough, she could only go to a small restaurant to serve dishes, sold breakfast on the street, worked as a shampoo girl, set up a stall, stumbled all the way, and now she is the company's sales manager, everyone praises her for her strong ability to do things, and college graduates who are about the same age as her can't catch up with her, which is the pillar of the company.

When she communicates with people on weekdays, no one would have imagined that she would be a person with severe depression, crying uncontrollably every night, and having to pretend to be okay to work the next day.

She never reveals her heart to anyone, she knows very well that no one can understand her feelings, and it may even become an after-dinner conversation in the company.

has been living like this, as she herself said, very tired and tired, countless times I want to give up, I want to jump from the twenty-eighth floor.

"Actually, I really want to go to university, I really want to go to college. ”

She said flatly about her life and her wishes, "I'm working hard to make money, and my dream is to have a house by the sea, Mr. Yuan, have you ever played bungee jumping?"

"No, how do you feel?"

"It's like dying once, it's fascinating. ”

Yuan Jia re-brewed a pot of tea, picked up the teapot, poured her cup, and stretched out her hands to hold the cup.

The sleeves are naturally retracted, and three shocking scars can be seen on the left wrist, spanning the entire half-section.

Jiang Shiyun shrank her left hand without leaving a trace, and the sleeve of her shirt re-blocked the scar, which almost became her habit, she never wore a short-sleeved shirt, even if it was hot.

"It hurt at the time, didn't it?" asked Yuanjia.

"I didn't feel anything when I went down, the knife was cold, and I felt pain after a while, I was very scared, the whole person was trembling, I was afraid that I wouldn't die, so I cut two more times. Jiang Shiyun said.

It's like talking about a trivial matter.

Her gaze fell on the elegantly turned green tea leaves in the glass teapot, slightly distracted.

"What kind of person do you think you are?" asked Yuanjia.

Jiang Shiyun thought about it, didn't know what to say, and said with a smile: "Can I use an animal to describe myself?"

"Yes. ”

"I feel like a cockroach. ”

Jiang Shiyun's face was a little proud, and she smiled: "Although I am ugly, at least I am tenacious for a long time, and I can't die~"

Yuan Jia didn't laugh because of her joke, her pupils twitched slightly, and she sighed: "You are really amazing, your vitality is so strong that it overflows." ”

"Teacher Yuan, as soon as you praise me, I want to cry......"

Jiang Shiyun cried and laughed, and continued: "I often dream of the orchard I went to see that day, the plum trees all over the mountains, the green, red, and new shoots, and the sour smell in the air, and I live by this imagination. ”

With such vitality, she is really amazing.

"Would you like to try hypnotherapy?"

Yuan Jia looked into her eyes and asked.

"Good. ”

Jiang Shiyun hardly hesitated.

She wants to be like a normal person.

Just alive.

.

.

(Thank you for supporting the first order!Request commuter pass support~~)

(thanks to the helmsman ^_^ who got off the ru)