It's the third time I've met Yuanjia.

Xu Nanyu is no longer nervous, or the nervousness at this moment, just comes from the shy nervousness and expectation when the little girl sees the boy she loves.

Early on Sunday morning, Xu Nanyu got up to tidy up the books she had read.

Because I promised Yuan Jia to give him a book last night, but I don't know what book to give him.

So he took out his favorite books.

She is not highly educated, and she can't read esoteric books, and most of the books she usually reads are some relatively best-selling books.

Ah, and these two romances that I read in junior high school......

Do you want to show him, I'm always embarrassed.

So Gardenia stuffed the two romances back into the bookcase.

At that time, there were many descriptions of romance that made people blush and heartbeat.

Absolutely, absolutely not for Yuanjia to see!

Ten books of various kinds were sorted out scattered around, and she moved them to the stone table of the small pavilion like moving bricks.

I ran back and forth several times inside and outside the house, and the weather was hot and humid, and the gardenia was sweating.

The sky was a little grey and it looked like it was going to rain.

Gardenia didn't want it to rain, her thin brows furrowed slightly, and she ran to the balcony from time to time to see if it was raining.

She wasn't worried that Yuan Jia wouldn't come to see her when it rained, but she was afraid that it would be inconvenient for him to travel when it rained.

After a simple lunch at noon, she prepared to make sugar water, which was sweet potato syrup, and put it in the refrigerator to freeze it after it was ready, and give it to him to drink when Yuan Jia came.

Time passed quickly, at half past twelve, Gardenia took a shower, changed into a beautiful dress, dressed up briefly, and then came to the pavilion at one o'clock and waited obediently for Yuanjia to come.

......

The wind picked up in the yard.

When the flowers in the flower garden are in bloom, the wind brings a sweet smell.

There's also some moist, earthy scent.

As the first drop of rain fell from the sky, hitting the green leaves and shattering into a small flower, more rain began to fall.

This is the first time Gardenia has been alone in the yard on a rainy day.

Although the rain was not heavy, she still felt lonely and uncomfortable in the gazebo.

My mother came with an umbrella.

"Gardenia, it's raining, why don't you go inside and wait?"

"Don't ......"

Gardenia shook her head stubbornly and said that she would wait for him in the small pavilion.

"Then I'll wait with you. ”

"I... I'm not going to get used to it... It's okay... The pavilion does not leak rain... It's not big..."

Bai Yan had no choice but to leave an umbrella and watch her from the porch.

Gardenia actually wanted to go back to the house, she had already adapted to the yard in the sun, and when she stayed in the yard on this rainy day, she inevitably felt a sense of fear in her heart.

But he still gritted his teeth and persevered, constantly telling himself that if he couldn't even do this, then how could he go out and live with Yuanjia.

She thought like this, even though her face was a little pale and her hair was wet with the mist coming out of the wind, she didn't leave the small pavilion for half a step.

The swallows swept smoothly through the rain in the sky and landed on her windowsill, and this level of rain did not bother the swallows, and Gardenia looked at them, and her heart was much calmer.

By two o'clock, it was raining heavily.

It was dark, and all she could hear was the sound of raindrops falling on the leaves, on the eaves, on the bluestone slabs, on the surface of the koi pond......

Gardenia's gaze was a little distracted, and she stared blankly at the gate of the courtyard.

Like the children waiting for their parents to pick them up on a rainy day, the other children have already gone home, leaving her alone in the rain waiting for the loneliness of the night coming.

......

In anticipation, Yuan Jia appeared.

He was holding a large gray umbrella, and the raindrops hit the fan, merging into a stream of water, flowing down the fan bones, and falling at his feet.

The white upper is stained with muddy water.

It's just that he didn't seem to realize it, and it seemed that the rain didn't bother him in any way.

He smiled, looking through the rain curtain at the gardenia in the pavilion from afar.

It's like sunshine.

It made Gardenia feel warm and bright for a moment, as if the rain had stopped.

So like a child who finally waited for his parents to pick him up, he couldn't help but have a sour nose, tears the size of beans slid down his cheeks, his throat seemed to be stuck with a stone, and he made a muffled voice: "You...... Why did you come to pick me up......"

"Yuanjia ......"

Gardenia stood up, feeling the urge to pounce on him, but she was reserved.

So he strode in his direction, as if forgetting that it was raining, and ran out of the pavilion.

Yuan Jia also ran towards her, holding an umbrella to help her keep out the rain.

"Fool, what about the rain, aren't you afraid of getting wet?"

"Not afraid ......"

"You're so good-looking today. ”

Yuanjia always praised her for her good looks, but when Bai Yan praised her, she gave Gardenia a completely different feeling.

Yuan Jia's praise, listening to Gardenia's heart, is as sweet as honey.

"Hmm......"

Gardenia is not good at stirring up topics, so she stands next to Yuanjia like this.

The area of the umbrella is so large, covering two people, the position is a little crowded.

Yuan Jia's left shoulder was wet from the rain, and the gardenia was close to him, his body was still dry, and because the two were close, Yuan Jia could even hear the heartbeat of the gardenia.

You can see her turning pink from her neck to her ears, like a small stove, emitting heat.

The two breathed in the air they breathed and felt each other's tastes up close.

I stood stupidly in the rain for two minutes, not moving.

Gardenia suddenly discovers......

The rain doesn't seem to be so annoying anymore......

When I came back to my senses, I was a little strange why I had suddenly run over and burrowed under his umbrella so boldly.

If she did it again, Gardenia would be like the previous two times, and she could only wait for Yuanjia to come over and bully her in the pavilion.

It wasn't until Yuanjia naturally took her little hand that Gardenia suddenly felt like her heart was skipping half a beat, and she was instantly surrounded by warmth and safety, and she followed him stupidly.

The rain was still falling, even heavier, but in Gardenia's eyes at this time, it was already a clear sky.

"It's raining heavily, let's go to the pavilion and sit. ”

"Hmmm......"

Yuan Jia led her to the small pavilion and sat down, put away the umbrella, and leaned on the pillar beside her.

The rain left behind the tip of the umbrella and pooled on the stone floor to form a raised mirror of water.

The water mirror reflects the pavilion, the wooden fence, the flowers, the trees, the Yuanjia, the Xu Nanyu, the sky......

Seeing Gardenia looking at the water mirror on the ground in a daze, Yuan Jia laughed and said, "What did you see?"

"Well, the world upside down. ”

Gardenia said.

Suddenly, I felt a little romantic.

......

Yuan Jia chatted with her, and then conjured a very beautiful nautilus as if by magic.

"Now, this is a gift from Huihui, she picked it up at the beach yesterday and said she wanted to give it to you. ”

"Send it, give it to me......"

"Hmm. ”

Gardenia took the nautilus in Yuan Jia's hand, and it was really very beautiful, and she liked it even more when she thought that this was a gift from Yuan Hui.

"Do you like it?"

"I like it!"

"Huihui must be happy to become a balloon when she hears you say you like it. ”

Gardenia often sees Yuan Hui in the video, and in a video chat with Yuan Jia two days ago, she also greeted Hui Hui.

It's just that she is even more timid than Huihui.

Gardenia gently rubbed the nautilus in her hand and smiled softly: "Yuanjia, Huihui likes your brother very much......"

"How?"

"Because she doesn't know me yet......"

Yuan Jia smiled and said: "You are not an outsider, she treats you as a sister, and since the last video, she has been praising you for being so good-looking." ”

"Really......"

Gardenia blinked, this was the best recognition she had ever received from others other than Yuanjia.

Yuan Jia nodded.

Maybe a little bit different...... Huihui didn't treat Gardenia as a sister, but as a sister......

"I boiled sweet potato syrup. ”

Gardenia opened the insulated pot on the stone table and scooped a bowl of sugar water out.

Yuan Jia looked at her, time seemed to be very slow, very slow, watching her serve sugar water so seriously, and the crimson of her pretty face, the rain outside the pavilion was still falling, different from the sun, and the gardenia at this time had an indescribable gentleness.

"Have you tasted it......"

"Hmm. ”

Yuanjia picked up the bowl and began to drink sugar water, and Gardenia sat beside him, looking at him with some nervous expectation.

Compared to cooking and sending it to Yuanjia before, eating the food she made in front of her like this made Gardenia feel great satisfaction.

Yuan Jia also picked up the bowl and filled the gardenia with some sugar water, and the two chatted while eating.

The rain didn't stop, and Gardenia's plan to walk around the yard hand in hand with Yuanjia fell through.

......

Sitting back on the wooden bench by the pavilion, the rain trickled down the tiles and hit the ground behind him, making a lullaby sound.

The two sat very close, Yuanjia was on the left, Gardenia was on the right, and the hand in the middle was a little nowhere to put it......

Until Yuan Jia held Gardenia's little hand tightly, making her blush, her eyes were like water, and she couldn't say a word with her head down, but she felt tremendous warmth and peace of mind.

When the heart is clear, the rain is also sunny.

The body unconsciously approached and approached him, like a magnet for mutual attraction......

Until snuggled up to his side, head resting lightly on his broad shoulders......

Gardenia was motionless, and Yuanjia was motionless.

The two of them quietly felt each other's heartbeats, feeling the heat of their skin.

Gardenia's long hair slid down Yuanjia's shoulders, with a faint and gentle fragrance that penetrated into his nose with the smell of rain.

The sound of his heart beating through the resonance of his chest was transmitted to Gardenia's ears, and she could hear and feel the incomparably real, and she wanted to stay in this moment forever.

Yuan Jia could feel Gardenia's tense body gradually soothing in the sound of the rain, and her breathing was steady, like a baby surrounded by a sense of security.

......

"Can Gardenia imagine the life of her dreams?"

Yuan Jia looked at the rain curtain outside the pavilion and asked softly.

His voice was not loud, but he could hear every word he said clearly in the noisy rain.

"Yes. ”

Gardenia also replied softly to Yuanjia, she could feel as if she had entered a magical state, her mind was clearer than ever, her heart beat and breathed steadily, but she was not fully awake, as if in a dream.

"What's that place?"

"A no-man's land... There's a chalet that belongs to us... Chirping birds build nests in trees... The stars are shining in the summer night... Soak up the sunset at dusk... You're holding me... We sat on the porch and talked... I'm leaning into your arms... It's warm... It's warm..."

"You have all the good things in this world, right?"

"Hmm..."

"It's clean in the morning after a heavy rain, can you smell the rain?"

"Yes..."

"What does it smell like?"

"Moist... There is the fragrance of flowers... It smells of earth..."

"What do you hear?"

"The birds are chirping... The rain on the eaves falls in the puddles... And the wind..."

"Would you like to go out and see a more beautiful world with your own eyes?"

"I'm in the cabin..."

Gardenia's expression seemed to struggle a little, and her brow furrowed slightly.

Yuan Jia gently clenched her little hand, and her brow gradually relaxed.

"Would you like to take me out with you and see a more beautiful world with your own eyes?"

"Yes. ”

"I took you by the hand, and we walked out of the cabin together. ”

Under Yuanjia's guidance, Gardenia left the cabin and went out into the outside world.

In the hypnotic state, the treatment of agoraphobia works well, and it can expose oneself to the outside world and eliminate subconscious sensitivities by guiding the imagination.

Gardenia has her own 'safety island', Yuanjia is her 'safety island', and it is the only one, nothing can replace the feeling that Yuanjia brings to Gardenia. This safety island was not built by Yuanjia, but by Gardenia herself, and since her freshman year of high school, Gardenia has held on to Yuanjia's redemption until now.

Even in the hypnotic imagination, it is difficult for her to go outside alone, but only with Yuanjia, Gardenia is like being surrounded by safety, and she can bravely try to go to the outside world.

The core of systemic desensitization therapy is to gradually reduce the sensitivity to stressors.

first from imagination, then to reality, first with Yuanjia with you, and then without Yuanjia with you......

This is a very long process, Yuanjia does not seek quick success, only that Gardenia can get progress and growth based on the essence of the soul in this little attempt.

Yuan Jia could feel that Gardenia, who was leaning on his shoulder, slowly walked into the outside world with his imagination, and his body began to tense slowly.

He squeezed her hand again and said softly, "It's okay, I'm by your side." ”

This comfort lasted for two minutes, and Gardenia's body relaxed, and her breathing and heartbeat gradually leveled off.

"What do you see?"

"A lot of people... Dense crowds of people..."

"What are they doing?"

"They're all looking at me..."

Gardenia's body tensed again.

This is also the result of the interaction of her social phobia and agoraphobia, she always subconsciously thinks that when she goes out into the outside world, she will meet a lot of people, and these people are always staring at her, making her feel very uncomfortable and frightened.

"Why are they looking at you?"

"I speak... Stammer... They... They all laugh at me... I don't stutter... I don't stutter... But none of them believed it... They don't play with me... They're looking at me and laughing..."

Gardenia's body twitched slightly, and she was choking when she spoke, and bean-sized tears slipped from her eyes and fell onto Yuan Jia's shoulders, like hot magma, stabbing Yuan Jia in distress.

Her personality follows her mother Bai Yan, she is depressed and not good at dealing with people, and her experience when she was young has become a huge scar for her, and the more she escapes, the deeper the hurt becomes.

"Can you hold my hand?" said Yuanjia softly.

I felt Gardenia's hand clench his hand in turn, so hard that it was almost far beyond her usual strength, and even Yuanjia felt some pain in her skin.

He didn't move, just let Gardenia hold it vigorously.

"I'm there for you, I care about you, I like you, I need you. ”

Gardenia, who was exposed to the crowd and was ridiculed and disgusted by everyone, heard the words of Yuanjia next to her, her body shook, and her tears became more fierce, and she even cried unconsciously and was held tightly by Yuanjia like a child.

Yuan Jia hugged her very hard, and only this kind of force could make her feel real, as if she was being pulled tightly on the edge of a cliff.

"Yuanjia...... Whining...... Yuanjia ......"

Gardenia didn't wake up from a deep hypnotic state, crying and calling his name, like a lost child.

Her social phobia has lasted for nearly twenty years, and she can't remove specific triggers through hypnosis, almost every contact with people is her trigger, Yuan Jia can only channel her emotions out, and then tell her one thing.

"I'm here, I'm there for you, I care about you, I like you, I need you, you're my world. ”

Yuanjia said it over and over again, clearly telling Gardenia about it.

Gardenia snuggled into his arms, and her emotions gradually calmed down.

It's just that I'm still crying, crying while sniffing, and subconsciously arching towards Yuanjia, like a kitten looking for warmth.

"Are they still watching you?"

"Hmmm......"

"Can you look up at them?"

"Hmm......"

The gardenia in her arms subconsciously shook her head, so she didn't look at those people.

"If you don't look at them, how do you know they're looking at you?"

"I'm by your side, I'm pulling you, you're safe, they're all in the cage, you're watching them from the outside. ”

Yuanjia implanted a new concept into Gardenia's subconscious, and all along, Gardenia felt like she was in a cage while others were looking at her from outside the cage, but now Yuanjia cleverly reversed the relationship.

Like looking at a tiger in a cage, Gardenia looked up to see them.

"What are their expressions?"

"Like a ...... of stone"

This is Gardenia's first feeling, although those people are still there, and their expressions are all indifferent, disgusted, and staring at her, but the same action, now it seems to have no meaning, as if they have all turned into stones, these are all appearances, but there is no substance.

This is the effect of Yuanjia's previous repetition of the phrase 'I am by your side, I care about you, I like you, I need you, you are my world'.

For example, a person feels that the girl opposite looks at him, and he thinks that the other party likes him, and then he even thinks about what the child is called, but the other party actually just looks at him, which is no different from looking at the road under his feet.

When you usually ride a shared bicycle to work, will you care about the eyes of passers-by? No, you will only care, waiting for the traffic light with you, the classmates who drive the BMW, roll down the window to greet you, and most likely will feel that the other party's eyes make you very uncomfortable, assuming that this BMW is the girl you have chased, then you are eager to take a detour immediately.

For people with social phobia, they care about everyone's gaze, everyone, even strangers they don't know on the road.

Then I felt like a thorn in my back, uncomfortable, and even terrifying.

I feel that everyone looks at me strangely, and I feel that everyone thinks of themselves as a laughing stock.

Because I care, I am afraid.

But when you don't care about other people, then the existence of other people becomes no different from the stones on the side of the road.

"I'm there for you, I care about you, I like you, I need you. ”

Yuan Jia repeated this sentence softly, and Gardenia's mood was relatively stable now.

"It's not just me, mom and dad like you, care about you, need you, Huihui also likes you very much, and my cat, your watermelon, the swallows by the windowsill, they all like you. ”

"So, can Gardenia be brave enough to say a word to these stones? ”

"Hmmm......"

Gardenia shrunk into Yuanjia's arms, holding his hand tightly, feeling his warmth, she wanted to speak bravely to these 'stones'!

"I don't exist for the pleasure of all mankind, even if the whole world dislikes me, but as long as the people I care about need me, it's enough, you're just a stone, and I don't have to care what the stone thinks. You're just on the side of the road, and I'm going to the other end of the road, running to the people I care about. ”

The stone didn't hear clearly, and Gardenia told them a little louder. ”

So Gardenia tried hard and told the stone again loudly.

After Gardenia finished speaking, Yuanjia gently hugged her, and Gardenia only felt wrapped in a thick warmth, as if she had crossed the road and threw herself into the arms of the person she liked, so that she got the most positive and timely feedback in the fight against the stone.

"What are you going to take me to see after that road?"

"Broken and shining stars under the clear night sky......"

"And the trees that are still green in winter......"

"Kitten ...... with a milky scent"

"The first snowflake that fell into the palm of your hand......"

Gardenia's mind is very active, and in the hypnotic state, her imagination is used to the extreme, imagining all the things that make her feel good, because she pulls Yuanjia, and she wants to take Yuanjia to see these things that she thinks are beautiful.

......

Unconsciously, Yuan Jia ended the guidance of hypnosis.

Gardenia was no longer leaning on his shoulder, but shrunk in his arms, held by him as warmly as Huihui, breathing evenly and sleeping quietly, with tears still hanging on her long eyelashes.

Yuan Jia didn't move, and now it was his turn to be so uncomfortable, so he had to constantly shift his attention to the courtyard outside, watching the dripping rain.

He also closed his eyes and breathed long, as if there was only this rain left between heaven and earth, like the gardenia in his arms.

The quiet pavilion sits in the middle of the rain and feels like being embraced by the whole world.

I don't know how long it took, the sun shone on the eyelids, reflecting orange-red, Yuan Jia squinted his eyes and slowly opened them.

The rain stopped.

The world was clean after the rain, the sun fell on the wet stone path, reflecting the scales, butterflies fluttering among the flowers again, and birds bouncing on the branches, shaking off a string of pearl-like droplets.

Yuanjia was motionless, and so was the gardenia in his arms.

It's just that Yuan Jia can feel that Gardenia's heartbeat is speeding up, and it is very fast, like a deer crashing, plopping.

She had already woken up, perhaps before Yuan Jia noticed it.

But based on the girl's shyness, Gardenia didn't dare to wake up at all, so she could only continue to pretend to be asleep, and just took the opportunity to stay in his arms for a while.

Gardenia was still a little confused, why did she lean on Yuanjia's shoulder to talk to him, and threw herself into his arms as she spoke......

What can I do about this......

Mom must have seen it......

How do you explain that......

But it's really comfortable, so warm, I want to fall asleep like this and not wake up......

Yuan Jia moved, his neck was a little stiff, he looked down at the gardenia in his arms, and saw that she was still pretending to be asleep, her eyelids were fluttering all the time, and her white neck was a tempting crimson from the tip of her ears, which made him particularly impulsive to bow his head and kiss her.

He knew that Gardenia would not dare to 'wake up', so he had to pretend not to know and gently help her up.

Gardenia pretended to be asleep and pretended to be presentable, her little head swayed leisurely, and she secretly bumped into Yuanjia from time to time.

"I woke up, and I couldn't sleep at night. ”

Listening to Yuanjia's words, Gardenia blinked her eyes vigorously, and then slowly opened them.

What I saw was a sunny world after the rain, the sunset sun shining obliquely on the two of them, and the gentle smile on Yuan Jia's face.

Gardenia's face was so red and red, and she hurriedly said, "Ah...... How did I fall asleep......"

There was not a word about the things that fell into his bosom.

"How are you feeling now?"

Gardenia knew that Yuanjia was asking about what had just happened, she only remembered that she seemed to have had a long, long dream, and the content of the dream was a little unclear, but vaguely, she seemed to feel that she was different, and she felt very relaxed.

"Well, that'......"

This hypnotherapy allowed Yuanjia to successfully implant a positive heart anchor for Gardenia, or bring new cognition in the subconscious.

Then in the future, Yuanjia needs more, to help Gardenia use a positive anchor to break through herself, such as trying, accompanying her out of the house, accompanying her to meet other people, and deepening this positive cognition little by little.

And that's the most important part of the whole process.

Gardenia didn't think about this, and her mind was full of memories of the feeling she had just thrown into Yuanjia's arms, like a bear who had stolen honey.

Yuan Jia was pressed by her arm and slept for a long time, and her hands were numb.

He took her little hand, opened her palm, and then opened his own palm, and put his palm on the palm.

Gardenia blushed instantly, but she didn't withdraw her hand, and said in a low voice: "What are you doing......

"For you. ”

"What is it?"

"I have a hundred billion stars in my palm. ”

It's not good to say that your hands are numb!

Being like this by Yuanjia, Gardenia felt crispy all over her body.

Seeing that Yuanjia was laughing, Gardenia was ashamed and annoyed, so he held his big hand with his backhand and snorted.

......

didn't forget what he promised Gardenia last night, Yuan Jia took out his mobile phone and prepared to take a photo with Gardenia.

"Come, Gardenia sit here. ”

"That's it......"

"It's reflective here, it's ugly, I'm ugly, you're beautiful. ”

So Gardenia sat on Yuanjia's left, the hand between the two was holding, Yuanjia wanted to shoot in the camera, Gardenia was shy, and hid the hand he was holding outside the camera, and in the end he couldn't resist Yuanjia, so he had to rely on him.

Yuan Jia held his mobile phone in his right hand and took several group photos.

Sure enough, Yuanjia is ugly, and Gardenia is beautiful.

"Then I'm going back. ”

Yuanjia hugged the book that Gardenia gave her, and Gardenia accompanied him to the gate of the courtyard.

"Yuanjia... When are you going to come to see me again..."

Gardenia reluctantly let go of his hand, for some reason, she felt that when she stayed at the gate of the courtyard today and watched the outside world, the depressed feeling in her heart was reduced a lot, making her feel as if she could try to go out and try it.

Yuanjia asked her to get used to and stabilize the current state first, which is the basis for little by little progress.

Let Gardenia continue to have new expectations, and life will have meaning.

The next time we meet, he will accompany her to work hard.

Yuanjia admits that he is very partial, and for Gardenia, he is almost willing to spend unlimited time and energy with her.

"Okay, when Huihui has a holiday on the weekend, will I bring her over? ”

"Uh-huh!"

In addition to Yuanjia, Gardenia has been in contact with another stranger in the past ten years.

She didn't feel nervous.

She also holds the beautiful conch given to her by Yuanhui's children.

My heart is full of anticipation.

.

.

(Thank you for the 100,000 reward of the Oolong Tieguanyin Alliance Leader!The old alliance leader of the Cat King!Thank you very much for your support!)