When I heard his story, I was so clumsy that I didn't know how to comfort him, but I knew that no amount of comfort would be useless.

He was more open-minded than I was, and there were tears in his smiling eyes.

"In fact, many times there is a long journey in life, I remember there was a thing that said, that is, life from the beginning of birth is a journey directly to the grave, in this journey there are many people who are not able to accompany you, looking at the common scenery together, constantly people up and some down, in the process you have to experience the meaning of life. Later, after experiencing this incident, I became more aware of it, and I cherished the life in front of me even more. ”

I looked at him with emotion, because I felt that the question of life was so heavy.

Instead, he made me laugh.

"The meaning of life lies in the continuous continuation of generation after generation, this is the essence of life, today, I can give birth to a child, I really feel very honored, I feel very happy. ”

My hand involuntarily put on my little belly, really, a lot of the meaning of life is that you continue to continue in this way, and sometimes you will find that the most tenacious thing is the meaning of life.

So compared to him, his situation is worse than what I wrote, what else do I have to memorize, at least I still have the little pimple in my stomach.

I will not give up the little tadpole in my belly, because it is a part of my life, a cell that I grow in the bone marrow, and a continuation of my life.

This is the most beautiful gift God has given me, I must insist on taking good care of the tadpoles in any case, no matter what opportunity I have, I will definitely use my own strength.

At some point, I may be like this mother today, screaming and screaming to give birth to this life.

No matter how much pain I am willing to accept, no matter how big the pain is, I am willing to face it, I have such courage, I take a deep breath, I finally understand what I should do.

Really, in fact, when I knew that I had the same condition as my sister and was facing the same problems, I was actually in a mess, and I was in this area, faced with a difficult choice, whether I would live or die.

I couldn't face it, so I didn't hesitate to run away with the money that 66 lent me, I couldn't even figure out what I wanted, what I was facing, what I was getting, and what I could do.

I'm very willful, I actually look like a very courageous girl, but I'm really cowardly, so instigated that I don't even have the ability to face courage.

Money is my mother, and my sister is constantly taking care of me, so that I can escape from reality, so that I have such an opportunity, and I don't have to bear this responsibility and obligation, but since I lost my mother's sister, I will find that the world will really fall, I am alone like a lone wanderer, I have to face the pain of this side, I have to face myself, how to think about no plan.

Now I don't agree, now God has finally given me a godsend, I have a little tadpole, I have a little embryo, this is the best gift.

I believe that in this day, when this little tadpole grows up day by day, it will be the time when I can keep the clouds open and see the clouds.

If I could really give birth to a tadpole, and I could do it, right? Someone else could have been born in such a painful and humble environment today, why can't I?

My heart has begun to stir up, right, I just need to give birth to a child, I can imagine all the happiness and beauty of my future, I will have my own child, I will let my child call me mother every day, I can almost imagine that the little tadpole will look like me.

It's something connected by blood, it's telepathy, it's the most mysterious and direct glory that nature has given you.

Even if my little tadpole collapses at dawn, even if I am going to die on this operating table next, I will not run away anymore, I will not hesitate to challenge God, I tell myself that I want it!

That's right, because I'm a mother!

Xiao Ke's only me, I am his dearest relative in this world, what else can he get besides me, even I abandoned him, then his life can be said to be so lonely and pitiful.

I have exhausted the power of the wilderness, I must give birth to the little baby, I want to grow up with him happily and happily, I have never experienced such distress again, I will not let the little tadpole bear it.

I'll never leave him!

No matter what kind of difficulties I encounter, I will definitely grit my teeth.

When I thought of this, I was more sure of what I needed in the future, and with a kind of self-confidence, I got off the train and immediately stopped the taxi, and I went directly to the agency without hesitation.

I went straight to the house.

I want to have a home, I want to have a fresh start, and from today I want to give a little tadpole, a simple and warm eaves, so that it will never be disturbed by the wind and waves outside.

The requirements are actually very simple, I really don't need a lot of things, I need a good and quiet environment, the most important thing is that I have to be in mine, there is a grade A hospital next to me, I need me to get to the hospital if anything happens, it doesn't take me more than 15 minutes to get to the hospital.

I can get sick anytime and anywhere, and the tumor in my head is flammable, explosive and dry anytime and anywhere.

I really don't know when this tumor is going to go bad, I can only pray that it doesn't become such a pain, or it will hold my blood vessels, or it will cause me to faint, so I have to be near the hospital, I have to get help anytime, anywhere.

This is a guarantee for the tadpoles, and it is also for myself.

I rented a small apartment with a single room package, and basically I just had to bring my backpack into it.

It doesn't matter if the rent is expensive, I will wait for my life to stabilize, I will earn some manuscript fees by standing guard, and then slowly put this life on the right track, and after the manuscript fee is stable, I will slowly accumulate normal money, I can make various investments through stock speculation, then I will not be limited by the time I go to work, so I will have enough time to recuperate my body and accompany the tadpoles.

So the second thing I do now is very important, I immediately went to the hospital to do a specialist number, I have to tell me in detail what to do in a scientific way.

I have to say that when I gave one of my wishful thinking to this expert professor, the expert was completely shocked, he thought that I was bold and thought that I was going too far, and quickly shook his head to persuade me.

"Girl, I can only tell you very professionally, you have done this with a risk factor, the risk is very high, because you also know that during the whole process of pregnancy, your blood vessels will slowly support, because your internal hormone will be all disrupted, and then this will compress one of your brain cells, and it will also compress the blood vessels of the brain, and many unknown situations will occur at that time, and these things have a high probability of making your tumor bigger, and your risk will be aggravated at this time, not only the child in your belly is also intensifying at the same time, if you have the possibility of fainting in it, then you will cause suffocation to the child in the belly, which will cause a very serious brain cell. ”

I know that I have passed all these things, and Baidu's knowledge has long been clear, but he is also re-giving me popular science, or re-appealing to me with a live version of an expert.

I asked him directly.

"Excuse me, Professor, if my position is to insist that I must give birth to a child, then I would like to ask how manageable this risk is to me?"

The professor thought for a moment and told very seriously.

"If that's the case, then your risk may reach 6~7~8 into these three levels. ”

He paused, then changed his words after two seconds.

"It is very likely to reach the risk of level 9 or above, all in all, this risk can only be high and not low, very can not take this and this risk, girl, I know you are very young, if you really like a child, if you really want to be a mother like this, I suggest giving up, I may be able to go to the welfare home to adopt a child like this, but are you willing to take this risk with your life? You are very likely that you will lose it if you don't see the child. ”

The professor said it completely and directly, and I understood it very well, which means that I am very likely to have a situation, that is, even if I insist on giving birth to the child, it is possible that I may have left this world permanently because of a fainting at this time.

Of course, I also know that this is the worst-case scenario, and I know this intention, and I am very clear about it.

It's a factual situation, and it's not a chicken-and-egg concept.

If I had known in advance that there would be an increased risk of having a child, maybe I could have considered this matter very cautiously at that time, and I would have been very cautious about whether to have children or not.

I would even consider adopting a child as one of my mothers.

But that's not the case now.

Now my situation is that I have truly become a mother of Zhejiang, and I now have my flesh and blood in my belly, I have a part of me, and I can't give up.

My child breathes with me, enjoys my blood with me, enjoys my nourishment with me and feels my joys and sorrows, I can't say I don't want him, it's impossible, it will never be in my world This word is equal to negation.

Even if the whole world tells me that there is no chance left, I will still do my best to make the last effort, not to mention that there is a 15% chance now, why don't I go for it?

No, I'm going to make a bet with God, I'm going to bet that 15%!

I wonder what my sister would have done if she was still in this world, would she have persuaded me to have a child who I didn't want, and she would have said that I was too naïve, and I was very worried.

Really, at this time, I finally understood that my sister always took me as the last consideration, and maybe my sister began to play the role of a mother when she was very young, and finally treated me as her child.

In this world, I really didn't have a sister at all when I was a child, but I was a little luckier than my sister in this matter.

Although both of them have such a genetic cause, but so far I have not had a seizure, so I hope that I can wear my sister's expectation and live well, if my sister knows that I have a child, I believe my sister will be very, very proud of me.

Sister, you are in the spirit of heaven, please bless you well, and I will survive well with the little tadpoles.

In fact, I know that my sister has too many regrets in his perfect life, for example, they have been married, and none of them have time to be a mother, so they hurriedly say goodbye to this world, so I think my sister must be very sorry in this world.

Since it is this kind of regret, then I must fulfill her wish for my sister, I must be strong and happy, and live bravely.

Not only that, but I must raise the little tadpole well, and I want to tell the little tadpole that he has a very nice aunt who loves him very much.

The old professor persuaded me, but I believed that he could not persuade me, my eyes and my movements were very firm, and I told him very seriously.

"This is your old professor, I know your intentions are good for me, but I have never been a mother, so I must give birth to the child no matter what, I hope you can help me, you just give me a suggestion. ”

The old professor shook his head helplessly, and could only give one suggestion.

"If you are really stubborn, we as doctors and healers, we have given you the best reasonable advice, but we can't help you make a decision, if you insist on taking the risk, then I only recommend that you come for regular check-ups, control the risk anytime and anywhere, once you feel any vomiting, dizziness and heart tightness, hurry up and come to the hospital immediately!"

I nodded, grateful for the old professor's help and advice.

I don't know if it's comfortable, I vomit a lot, maybe it's because of a reaction during my pregnancy, I vomit a lot and even vomit bile, especially during this time.

It should be that I am not familiar with life, and I don't have a familiar friend in a different environment, so words often make me feel a sense of loneliness, and every morning when I get up, I will vomit so dark that I can't stand up straight.

And during this time, I love to sleep very much, I often sleep at noon, I forget about lunch, and often die of hunger with my stomach against my stomach.

I'm taking care of myself alone, and sometimes I really forget and take care of myself by myself.

I probably miss the sweet and sour pork ribs that Xue Luchuan made for me very much, I miss the delicacies in my hometown very, very much, that piece of food really makes me miss it very much, I will go back one day, but the time has not yet come.

During this time, I really wanted to eat anything, my appetite was great, I really didn't have much, a time and an experience, I often ordered this Meituan takeout, I sometimes felt very guilty, at the tadpoles.

Later, when this mental state recovered a little bit, I had to force myself to eat, I couldn't let the tadpoles in my stomach without nutrients, and I knew that my recovery was the most important thing for him.

Later, I tried to make sweet and sour pork ribs a few times, but I was very upset to find that I was doing so badly, I was completely like chili, and I had to admit with great frustration that I was really a mess when it came to cooking, and I was a complete scumbag.

I remember when I was still with Qiao Yilong in the past, he often got off work and brought me a lot of that kind of snacks, I used to feel very comfortable eating something, I felt very natural, and I didn't think there was anything particularly surprising, but now I think about that kind of unattainable delicacy makes me want to eat.

When I woke up from my midnight dream, my mouth watered and I remembered the food in my hometown.

Later, because I often think of these small delicacies in my hometown, I think of Qiao Yilong again, although I think his character is really bad, but it is undeniable that my thinking is really peculiar, and I even began to miss him.

Every festive season, I miss my relatives and be alone in a foreign land as a stranger.

I often can't help but think of the people and events in my hometown and the food, and everyone has become so beautiful.

I slept this afternoon, and after waking up, I began to worry again, what should I eat, I can't do it, I can't eat Meituan takeout every day, I don't say anything, but I think my vomiting during this time is getting worse and worse, making me more and more uncomfortable, I can't even take care of myself, I'm worried about what I should do when my belly is big, maybe I can ask a nanny to come back.

I noticed that I had gained weight again during this time, and I bought two sets of maternity clothes, and I bought them very loosely, and now they fit just right, and I can clearly see that my pregnancy smell is wafting.

Really, sometimes when I'm walking down the street, people give way to me, and it seems like a good feeling.

But I still had to improve my nutrition, so I scalped to the supermarket next door, and I had to buy a lot of food, enough to eat for three days.

I went to the supermarket and bought a big carton of milk, and then half of the beef, tomatoes, carrots, and fresh vegetables, as well as dough.

I'm going to treat myself well today, I want to be a spicy dragon hand.

Don't really underestimate me, my diet has improved a lot compared to before, and I can even eat more than 40 copies in one meal.

I'm about to become a little fat woman, but I'm happy and have no scruples about developing horizontally.