He didn't lash out at me as I had hoped, he just paused for a moment, and then took me a stationery bag with all his mind.

I opened this stationery bag and looked at it, I thought it was a liar that my sister had taken before, but in fact, I also knew that when my sister was hospitalized in the past, I would often go to watch these CIs.

It's about a kind of brain cell inside the skull. The doctor in charge would often point out the black spot and tell me that the brain cells had spread again, and it would lead to a brain tumor. In modern medicine, there is no optimal treatment for brain tumors.

In other words, the doctor can give a suggestion to see what kind of method the doctor can use to alleviate one of my sister's conditions, and get a little bit of good relief.

Of course I know this kind of thing is impossible to solve.

To put it mildly, this can only be a little continuation of my sister's life, and I don't know what will happen one day in the future.

When I saw the CT picture inside, I thought it was definitely not my sister's, and I found it at a glance, because there was no terrible dark cloud in the brain cells.

I was holding the CT film, and I looked at Luo Jin in confusion.

Luo Jin's voice was very low, as if he was suppressing these slowly, maybe it was a misunderstanding on my part, or a confusion on my part, all in all, his mood seemed to be very sad and sad.

But he said to me: "Do you know? The day your sister died, you cried so hard that you fainted in the room, if it wasn't for the doctor to give you an emergency treatment, maybe you would really be in a vegetative state, so I decided to give you a full body examination, and from that moment on, you were found to have a black dot in your brain tumor, commonly known as a small tumor." ”

After listening to him, my eyes finally fell on the unfamiliar CT photo, and I finally found the little black dot through the western sky, yes, it was on the back of my left head.

It's hard to ignore the location if you don't look at it carefully, but it's also a small black dot, which makes me feel cold all over my body, like falling into an ice cave.

I don't know why I really feel cold, even on a hot day, this feeling of warmth is still there, and I witnessed my sister's mass, like a black cloud.

My sister's dark cloud slowly grew bigger, and slowly expanded the entire brain tumor and was declared incurable, until it finally devoured my sister's last youth.

I suddenly remembered the good days of my sister, my sister's helpless and longing to be born again, I felt dizzy, I caressed my heart with my left hand, crossed my waist with my right hand, and arched up.

"No, the situation is still in a good stage, because it is pressed on the back of your right head, this situation can be alleviated, and the position is quite good, but there are too many cerebral nerves and blood vessels there, if there is any possibility, it will cause you to become a vegetative person, or directly if it will not hurt this moment too much, the tumor will not be too big a problem for a long time in the future, but you must ensure your mood. ”

Luo Jin stretched out his hand and hugged me, and I suddenly found that my whole body was trembling, my whole body was cold, and his hand touching me was also cold, without temperature, just like me.

I swear I've never seen him look so helpless in front of me, and he's in front of me with that kind of tearful time.

He looked at me slowly.

"Ou Ruoxi, do you know? You are a savage girl, how you like to be lively, when the doctor told me, I didn't dare to imagine at all, if your operation really failed, if you can't think about it anymore, if you lose a touch with this world, then you will always be like a vegetative person, without a feeling, one day sitting in a wheelchair I know, if it really comes to that time, you will definitely be very uncomfortable with each other. And I will be more uncomfortable than death, so I decided to accept the second plan, that is, the conservative plan said, if it will not make you sad, it will not make you angry, it will not make you sad, maybe this small tumor will slowly not deteriorate, as long as the small tumor does not grow, you may only occasionally have a feeling of dizziness, other cases that are not particularly big with normal people, I specially asked authoritative experts and professors at home and abroad, they are almost really an authority on brain tumors, they all agree I suggest that if you don't consider children, the threat will not be too big。 ”

He said this sentence word by word and hugged me tightly, I felt the coldness of my whole body even more, I really I couldn't even breathe, my suffocating feeling made it impossible to find the feeling around me.

I looked at him confusedly, and he looked at me sadly.

No, keep talking.

"I'm sorry, really selfish, I really don't want you to be in a wheelchair for the rest of your life, when your sister just died, you are so sad and you are so sad, if you know that your fate is the same as your sister?"

"Because I didn't want you to live in this shadow, I wanted you to be happy, so I was very selfish and hid all this matter, Ou Ruoxi,"

I was really like a patient, held in his arms, and after I heard the news, I was speechless to express an emotion in my heart.

"I'm sorry, please forgive me forever, I was a selfish person at the time, I couldn't make such a choice, I was forced into a corner, I couldn't do that, I really couldn't let you have an operation. ”

The rhythm of his speech was a little chaotic, his tone was a little high, undulating, his eyes were a little flustered, and he looked at me anxiously.

My whole body was shaking, my whole body was cold, I felt like I was immersed in that cold Pacific Ocean, and I was about to fall.

I didn't even understand what was going on behind him, I just felt that it was far away from me.

I dragged the picture report there.

My mind resurfaced the appearance of my sister when she died, and it was already there, a very haggard time, and my eyes were relieved, because of the treatment, my hair had fallen out, and I couldn't see what was in front of me clearly. Even a thin piece of paper.

I will never forget my sister lying there dying, panting and even holding my hand with all her strength, like a kite in the sky, about to float down anytime and anywhere.

Really, my sister was really like a kite, staggering and falling from mid-air.

I'm scared that I'll walk, my sister is on the same path, I'm really cowardly, I'm very timid, I'm scared that I feel like I'm not alive yet, I still have a lot to do.

I'm very greedy, I have a narcissistic attitude towards survival, even after I divorce Luo Jin, even if my survival has arrived, right? But I still live stubbornly like a cockroach.

Because I longed to smell the sun.

No, I don't blame Luo Jin, I even feel a little grateful to him, because his concealment and his selfishness have allowed me to enjoy a kind of free and easy happiness for so many years, and I can want to live the kind of life I want without worry.

Yes, I should be grateful to him, if it weren't for him, but when I knew my own condition, I would have been greedy, and I absolutely couldn't accept it.

When I can't accept something, I will definitely do something that even I am afraid of, and I may even decide how to end my life.

I will even be outnumbered, scared, and the next one will be my turn.

I know that the wheel of fate does not spare my people so easily, I know that my family inheritance is not something I can change, and I know that there should be a more bloody plot waiting for me, which is just hidden.

But a wise man must make a mistake in a thousand thoughts.

My story is so cruel that it directly sentenced me to life imprisonment, which means that I will never be reborn on this brain tumor!

Since it was defined as a terminal illness for me in the glory of my youth!

I'm not an abusive online street novelist!

Haven't you always been a master and a drinker?

Didn't I always make my readers cry and rate me as the best heroine, and I felt like I hadn't reached the highlight moment?

I greeted Luo Jin and finally asked a question I had for many years.

"Then tell me, when you decided to marry me, did you already know the truth of this matter, and hoped that you would do this because you sympathized with me, took pity on me, and were afraid that I would be unhappy, right?"

"That's not the case," Luo Jin said with certainty, "Ou Ruoxi, you misunderstood this matter, I won't pity it." ”

I smiled faintly, I must have looked ugly, I must have looked very much like I didn't get a perfect emotion, I even felt that my laughter was worse than crying.

"Luo Jin, I thank you very much, seriously, thank you for saying this sentence today, you love me, but I may also know that I have made you feel a burden, making you feel that you have borne this secret, the pressure of so long, thank you for being in pity of me for so long. ”

He was holding my hand so tightly that I couldn't move at all, and his voice seemed to be very deep and deep.

"Does Ou Ruoxi know? If I marry you, it's not good because I pity you and really love you! Damn, I really love you."

But there is basically no much meaning in saying anything, and now all the expressions and all the redundant statements will really be seen very lightly in my eyes.

My eyes were still as deep as the sea, and from inside I saw my own pale eyes, and I saw my own shadow, which was a little distorted in his eyes.

I saw that and I swore I would never love a man again.

I never thought that I would have the same background and the same ending as my sister, and maybe one day I would really be like a repetitive story, suffering from a serious illness and lying in the hospital, and going through the final life process like my sister.

I looked up at the sky, and it was blue, and occasionally a bird flew by, and I remember a poem that said: When a bird flies across the sky, it leaves a trail of streaks.

I am the bird that will fly through my sky.

I couldn't hear anything, my head was buzzing and thinking, maybe after a long time, I really couldn't see one of the other person's expressions, the relationship I had so exhausted to pursue.

I even thought about whether it was possible that I would really lose, and that I should live well for my sister, take good care of and care for me.

I just didn't expect you to give me such a chance to be meritorious, not to give me a good chance, but to give me the same downfall.

"Ou Ruoxi, I know that you have always been so stubborn, I know that no matter what I say or how I communicate with you, you have always been like a hedgehog, you will run away, and you will not stand in place at all. ”

He didn't mum any coherent language, I didn't even know what he was saying, and I even felt like his language and my mind were in a state of confusion.

"Once divorced again, I've been thinking, if I let go, maybe I'll be happier than now, but I'm really sad, I really feel like I don't know how to make you feel happy, but I'm not at ease, I just want you to keep a place by my side so that I can see you, but you will always have something that makes me angry, you will always know how to make me out of control, Ou Ruoxi, I'm sorry, I was wrong, I've been working very hard and careful to do this, but it really does let me know, a kind of sadness, and I've been very careful to maintain, I was so angry that day。 ”

What he said was fragmented, completely sentence by sentence, very trivial, piecemeal, and I didn't really want to hear anything, no matter what he wanted to say or what kind of situation he wanted to express.

But why don't you keep hiding it from me at this time?

Why don't you wait until I'm seventy or eighty to tell me?

Why did you stick a dagger into my heart again in my best years?

He really took the truth of this matter so cruelly, and he knew in front of me that maybe he had never loved me, so he said this, taking into account his own thoughts, and not taking into account all of my thoughts.

yes, how selfish he is, when he gets things out, and then he spreads this mess in front of me, saying that I have a terminal illness and that I can't have children, and if I have children, I have to die.

All my happy days were stolen from me, and I lived in vain for so long, is it really enough? If I want to go on, I have to do what the doctor tells me to do!

That means I have to give up my little tadpole!

He was so selfish, really in order not to be a tadpole, he actually put the facts in front of me so cruelly!

I looked at him with great hatred, and I wished that the way I would drop the knife directly on me should be like a rakshasa in hell.

Maybe my appearance made Luo Jin feel very scared, or some other emotion, he just grabbed my waist tightly and tried to hold it.

With a certain crying tone.

"Ou Ruoxi, if you know about this, let's stop being afraid of it, if we want to cry, we will cry, I know you don't want to control your emotions like this, can you cry?"

I was really completely speechless to him, and I was still using this kind of Qiong Yao-style pathos to restrain me, which was really brain-dead.

I pushed him away, holding my head high, "Do you think crying will solve this problem? I don't cry, I don't want to cry! I want to live, I want to live happily for the rest of my life, I want to live to be eighty or ninety years old, I want to become an old goblin, I want my teeth to fall out, I can't walk before I die, you say don't think that I will be the next moment."

I want to live as a demon!"

Although I was really scared, although I was holding back this panic in my heart, I really wanted to cry well, I really wanted to squat on the ground and cry bitterly, screaming and screaming loudly in my heart!

Don't forget who I am!

I am the famous Ou Ruoxi, I am the second female partner who can never be beaten, and I am the best heroine with her own halo!

In my dictionary, I won't recite Spring and Autumn like those crying women, and I won't cry like the heroines of Korean dramas, I can't crush us in this way, I'm a wrestling girl.

Even if God you arrange such a tumor on my head, don't want me to be a sad heroine, and I won't bury the soul of flowers like Lin Daiyu!

Roll on!

Especially in front of Luo Jin, I am determined not to show my weakness in front of him at all, I don't want to get his sympathy and mercy at this time, so many years are enough.

How dare he deceive me like this, how dare he!

Like an executioner, he was calculating how the knife would fall on my neck at any time.

I just won't let him succeed, even if I die, I'll die in a place I want to go, and I will never leave any trace of pity in front of him.

Luo Jin looked at me worriedly, stretched out his hand and grabbed my right hand tightly, I withdrew from his hand, and I looked at him calmly.

"Thank you for not hiding it from me anymore, thank you for telling me about this cruelty, I have to think about it, I'm tired now, I want to sleep. ”

With that, I stood up and prepared to leave, but he also stood up at the same time, blocking my path with both hands.

"Ou Ruoxi, even if I beg you to be okay? I really beg you to stop playing with your life, I beg you to calm down, let's think of a way together, okay?"

Luo Jin doesn't have the usual style of a domineering president, at this time he is really cowardly, very cowardly.

He had never pleaded so much, and I had never been in my memory.