"It's not a suicide. Ye Lingxing's denial seemed to Guan Li to be a dead duck with a hard mouth, "I'm just imagining the feeling of death." ”

"Hypothetical death?" Guan Li found a seat and sat down very familiarly, with a look of "you go on, I'll listen".

Ye Lingxing didn't want to talk about it, "I thought it ...... There's no need to tell you that we're not familiar with each other yet. ”

"It is necessary. Guan Li obviously didn't think so, "If you don't ask clearly, what if you commit suicide as soon as I go out?"

“......”

"As the last person to see you in my life, I will be interrogated as a suspect for a long time. "Although he has a clear conscience, he is also reluctant to deal with those extra troubles," so, explain. ”

What's going on?

Ye Lingxing observed his expression, weighed it, and felt that he probably couldn't get through the trick.

Confess leniency and resist strictness, that ......

"I tried to kill myself when I was stupid before, and that near-death experience was enough once. He put the watch back on his left wrist, the metal strap covering the shocking old wounds underneath.

"Don't think about that now?" Guan Li's tone was rightly skeptical.

"I think about it occasionally, but I know where it comes from, and I know what to do. ”

Only those who have never been exposed to death can say "want to die" lightly.

Only those who despise life will easily choose to give up life.

"I can't die. This is the bottom line that Ye Lingxing has set for himself, "but you can imagine your own death." ”

Imagine a sharp blade cutting through the skin and sinking deep into the flesh under the force of force.

Thick, thick blood gushed out of the veins, winding out of the flowing river.

The warm liquid fell to the ground, splattered into a red totem that grew outward.

Imagine what life feels like with time and death looming.

It's like the twilight of the sunset.

Maybe it will be a long time before anyone finds out about his suicide, maybe no one will grieve for him, or maybe he will be forgotten by the world.

Thankfully, it's all just imagination.

"I've been told that death is a lonely blue, and it sounds like rosemary blooming in the middle of the night. ”

"Synaesthesia?"

"Ah, yes, synaesthesia. I remembered that she had synesthesia. Ye Lingxing tried to recall more, but found that he had no idea what to do with his memory.

Not forgetting, at least not normal forgetting.

He could feel the memory there, but it was obscured by something shallow.

All you need to do is lift a corner hard...... All the slumbering past has suddenly awakened.

"You know what? I used to have a girlfriend.

"We started dating in high school, and she chased me, for reasons that seem strange now, but I didn't think at the time.

"I haven't learned how to disguise before, I don't know if I should pretend to be a normal person and try to fit in with their circle, no matter how I look at it, I'm a very withdrawn guy.

"Actually, you're pretty much the same, aren't you?

"I don't care about many common fields, even if those things often appear in front of me, as long as I am not interested, I don't put any energy into thinking at all, and my hobbies are not wide at all.

"On the other hand, it can be easily ignited by things that interest us, and this kind of emotional reaction is far more intense than ordinary people, and only appears in a few areas where 'we' are willing to indulge in deep understanding.

"Living in your own world, there are always a lot of ideas that others can't understand, and what if they go against the mainstream?

"I only have a few good friends, I only talk to people I like, and I don't usually look people in the eye when I speak. I will not take the initiative to contact anyone I know, and I am afraid of meeting unfamiliar people, because I will feel that I am not social.

But as long as you meet someone who resonates with you, you can let go of all barriers and strangeness, and are willing to discuss everything and discuss all kinds of ideas and opinions.

"It's hard to think about others, and I often ignore other people's feelings...... When I was a child, I was always taught to see and listen to all directions, and to care about other people anytime and anywhere, but I just couldn't do it.

"I don't understand sarcasm, I don't understand the meaning behind those words, and I don't know how to read the so-called atmosphere. The emotions and thoughts that others don't express clearly are a fog that I can't explore.

"I don't try to figure out other people's intentions, I only listen to the surface meaning, and there are always ridiculous incidents of taking angry words as the truth, even if I am ridiculed for this, I still can't understand it.

"Why care about things that are not relevant to the present, why do you still have the same ideas after the exchange? Some of the truths are already obvious, why repeat them?

"There are still a lot of questions, questions that don't get answered.

"All of my performance was only considered by my parents to be due to low emotional intelligence and inability to socialize.

"Guan Li, you are the same. ”

Guan Li, who was asked, didn't speak, and the system looked at the two of them, estimating that the atmosphere was very serious, and wisely decided not to speak.

Ye Lingxing expected Guan Li's reaction, and he didn't need to answer.

It's already obvious, isn't it?

"It's really a psychiatric condition, Aspergers, which is a high-functioning autism. He went on talking to himself.

"We call ourselves 'AS', and there are a lot of them, about 1%-3% men, and about 04% women – which is probably why 'girls tend to have higher emotional intelligence than boys'.

"Corresponding to AS, ordinary people are called 'nt' (neurotypical), a word that may be translated as 'mortal brain'.

"AS can't understand the world of NT, and NT can't understand the world of AS.

"You see, our world is full of hard, deadly ways of thinking, wanting to express oneself as plainly as possible, regardless of the consequences.

"I'm not so close to anyone, I'm never emotionally active, I don't care about the sense of honor, I don't care about the sense of justice, and I don't understand why they are so easily excited.

"I've been lonely, used to being lonely, until I finally learned to disguise, learned to use strict rules to restrain myself.

"Guan Li, I actually envy you a little. You are more efficient and deeply integrated into this society than I am.

"I can only follow the 'script' I set and substitute those obvious 'social formulas'...... It is not so difficult to make up for the shortcomings of so-called emotional intelligence with IQ and logic.

"And you can even completely simulate their thinking and put yourself in the same situation as them......" Ye Lingxing sighed, "This is perfect empathy that I have never seen before." ”

Perfect social camouflage ability.

"Okay, I see, that's the end of the conversation. Guan Li interrupted him, not saying whether it was correct or not, "It doesn't seem that what you said before, what about your girlfriend?"

Ye Lingxing skipped the previous argument as smoothly as he could, "What else can I do?" ”

"Divided?"

"Well, our senior year of high school said that we would commit suicide together, and I committed suicide, but she didn't. ”

"But you're not dead. ”

"So I've become disgusted with people who treat life as a game, who chase after mainstream aesthetics like butterflies. ”

Just think that a person's color is rare and beautiful, and you can pursue it.

It's just that when you're suddenly interested in something, you can't help but touch it.

Purely sensually driven creatures.

Humans who can't take responsibility.

"Then you're miserable. "These four words are absolutely sincere.

Synaesthesia, also known as synesthesia, is a bizarre condition caused by congenital neurological abnormalities.

In people with synaesthesia, several senses may be connected.

- When you listen to a song, you will automatically see a colorful image in front of you, changing with the melody, or smelling different flavors from the sound.

- Words have colors, numbers have genders, even numbers are warm, odd numbers are a bit cold, prime numbers are very lonely.

- Some people will have a hazy light, especially dazzling white light is too strong, diffuse blue is generally smarter, and people with big red are trustworthy......

Experts who study this phenomenon believe that one in every 23 people may have some degree of "synaesthesia", although the symptoms are very mild.

They live in a more colorful world and are able to use the language of many sensory levels to depict a thing, as if they were born artists.

Ye Lingxing's mouth should be the best among them.

Her synaesthesia allows her to smell sounds.

But smell the rosemary that comes from death......

It is a flower that symbolizes tenderness and represents resistance to death.