With Brother Yuan, the two of us chatted very much, chatted and drank wine, as if we had known each other for many years.

After drinking about a third of the bottle, the couple who had come before settled the bill and left.

While Brother Yuan was going to the cashier, Du Yuan poured milk into my mouth, afraid that I would be too drunk, I faced Du Yuan, only to find that many times I had no choice but to take her, it was helpless.

Brother Yuan came back and ignored the small movements of me and Du Yuan, took out the candy from his pocket, carefully broke it, and leaned back in the chair.

"Looking at you, I don't say that I saw my former self, I'm a little afraid, I'm afraid to see you end up the same as me. No matter when, you should cherish the fate of this life, even if you don't like it, don't get tired of it. ”

My relationship with Du Yuan has not yet reached that point, and I have not denied Brother Yuan's words.

Du Yuan and I seem to outsiders to be a couple, but we all know that it's just that kind of ambiguous relationship, because I can't give Du Yuan an answer for a long time, and the initiator of this ambiguity is me.

"I'll tell you a story, six years ago, I was still painting art photos in an art studio, and at that time I was barely able to support myself by making a living from this, and it was very calm at first, and I thought it would continue like this.

I began to think that slowly my career would take off, go outside, and finally find someone I like or go on a blind date at the request of my family, find someone to live with, and this life will go on like this. ”

"It was July, yes, one afternoon in July, a woman came to the studio and asked me if I could paint something more special.

To put it bluntly, it is similar to taking private photos, and she said that she could talk about the price, and she accepted it when she felt it was reasonable. On the 14th of July, she brought another woman over and told me that she was the one who wanted to paint an art picture. ”

Brother Yuan paused obviously when he said this, poured a big sip of wine, and turned his head to look at a painting on the wall, and I followed his gaze.

"That was the first time I painted for her, the first painting for her to see if it was suitable, that day it was actually only two hours of painting, overall I was not satisfied, but she felt okay and paid the deposit. She said: Come at half past six every day and draw for her for two hours. ”

"She said her name was Yu Jiameng, a nice name, right? I was not happy about the time, but she paid the deposit, and I couldn't refuse, so the next day I came to the studio and let her pose and start painting, and I didn't have any other ideas at first, just do a business and make some money. ”

I looked at the painting on the wall, it seemed to me that it was already very good-looking, Brother Yuan said that it only took two hours to paint it, I admired him a little, I interrupted Brother Yuan.

"It's beautiful, and she's beautiful. ”

Brother Yuan tilted his head back, the whole person was attached to the chair, closed his eyes, got up and sighed.

"What happened later?" Du Yuan on the side asked, she seemed to be interested, and I also planned to continue listening, be a qualified listener, and wait for Brother Yuan to continue.

Later, as her paintings became more and more artistic, she began to wear fewer and fewer points, and she said that she liked the beauty of showing her curves, and she wished I could draw them.

At that time, I had been painting for almost a month, and the weather was also very hot in August, and the air conditioning was turned on in the studio, and the heat I was talking about was not simply the heat of the weather, she was really beautiful, it was a temptation for me, whether it was physical or mental, after a long period of contact, I found that I seemed to be deeply attracted to her, and I would be cranky in the process of painting, and in that case I had already restrained myself. ”

"I started to persuade myself not to have any other thoughts, just finish this business and make some money.

But the longer she knew each other, she didn't keep a sense of distance. She began to get acquainted with me, and she saw my unnaturalness. She began to ask me about it: this is the first time I've done something like this. I didn't dare to look at her directly, so I pretended to be calm, took a paintbrush and sketched on the canvas, and nodded. ”

"I would stop and look at her in a daze, and it was fascinating to watch, and she attracted me.

After two hours of getting along every day, I found that I seemed to like her, and consciously or unconsciously I began to express my feelings to her, but she did not refuse or accept, and our relationship remained ambiguous. ”

Speaking of this, Brother Yuan stopped again, his eyes turned towards the painting, as if he was thinking, as if he was recalling, Du Yuan and I didn't bother Brother Yuan in such a state, until Brother Yuan came back to his senses and smiled awkwardly.

"On the last day of August, when I started to paint a new picture, she was sitting in a chair, in the light, and she didn't wear much that day, she said she wanted to try a sexier style, and when she took off her coat, there were only a few layers of veil inside, and my breath suddenly became short.

That was the day we broke through the last layer of relationship, and from that day on, after painting every day, she and I had to be intimate in the studio for a while, and her feeling of being far away and approaching made me want to stop. ”

"Just when I was about to propose to her, she suddenly disappeared. That's when I knew I was really in love with her, and all of her things attracted me, and the sudden disappearance of her made me go crazy.

I went to look for her, but I found that I didn't know her, only what her name was, and I didn't know anything else, so I didn't want to give up and went to the woman who brought her, but the woman told me she knew where she lived, and the rest didn't know. ”

Brother Yuan lowered his head and lay on the table, holding his forehead with his right hand, then got up to wash his face and came back to sit down again.

"I went to her place to look for her, and I got the news that she had gone abroad and the house there had been sold, in fact, I had the idea of going abroad to look for her, but neither money nor work allowed me to go to her.

When I saw her again, she had a big belly, I knew she was pregnant, and for a moment I actually had a kind of surprise in my heart, it should be my baby, but when I went to look for her, she was very strange to me, as if she didn't know me, but she didn't reject my intimacy with her, I didn't know what was going on.

She just told me: let me go and find a more suitable one, we have no possibility. After saying that, she walked up to a man, took the man's hand and left, and when she finally turned around, I saw her crying.

But I don't understand the reason for her sudden disappearance and change in attitude towards me. The loss in my heart, the heartache I feel when I saw her pulling another man, I think I will never forget it in my life. ”

Brother Yuan's voice began to tremble, he picked up the wine bottle and began to drink violently, I snatched the wine from his hand and walked to his side to comfort him. Brother Yuan sat up, calmed down, and told me that he was fine.

"She disappeared again from that day, and when I saw her again three years ago, she had a little boy next to her, and you know, the first time I saw that boy I was convinced that it was our child.

I walked up to her and looked at her, and the man I had seen before came over, patted her, and pulled me aside. ”

He said: "There is one thing that I think is better to explain, and I hope you know the specific situation so that you can not bother us.

I'm actually infertile, she actually approached you to want a child, I have to apologize to you for this, I argued with you for a long time, and finally I agreed, I can see that she really wants a child. ”

Brother Yuan suddenly lost his mind and looked at the painting: "That's the only one of her paintings I have." ”

Listening to what Brother Yuan said, I had an indescribable feeling in my heart, and suddenly I wanted to escape from here, but seeing Du Yuan's stunned appearance, my heart seemed to be even more painful, love seemed to be something that we should not have, and we should not hope for extravagance.