Chapter 68: Low self-esteem
There is no shortage of beauties around Yu Nan, and these beauties who are chasing after each other are all slim, plump and seductive. There is no shortage of scumbag suitors such as flies and mosquitoes behind them.
They were full of envy and jealousy for Yu Nan. What I envy is that there are so many beautiful women surrounding him all day long, unmoved.
Jealous of his dream lover, he was also attracted by his handsome and serious appearance, and always looked at him infatuatedly. They fantasize about being able to fall in love with the prince charming in their hearts, even if they are separated from each other in the future, at least their lives are worth it, and they have not lived in vain. After all, such a perfect man is hard to come by. If you don't grasp the rare golden period of love in these four years, you are sorry for your youth.
The scumbags watched their beloved girls continue to be courteous to Yu Nan. I feel very uncomfortable. They secretly thought they had to give him some color.
In fact, Xiaolian also hopes to become one of the many suitors. She was fascinated by the boy. Those beauties are interested in his handsome shell, and Xiaolian admires his talent and demeanor even more. Unlike ordinary male classmates, he has no greedy look with girls, no impatience, and no flattering behavior. It's like a gentleman's friendship, as light as water. Natural, pure, flawless, neither humble nor arrogant, mutual respect, fresh and refined, elegant and dignified, in short, she has not been able to find more beautiful words and words to praise him.
What she likes most is the otherworldly arrogance of this boy, who has his own value pursuit and life goals. This is very similar to themselves, they are all trying to pursue their own lives.
Not moved by the world of flowers and flowers in front of you, and the extravagant life. Gain the most precious time to do what you should do most. He is not destined to be an ordinary person, and he has to give an account of his future and life.
Xiaolian also observed that there were countless suitors around him, all of whom were stronger than herself in terms of conditions, appearance, and figure. Compared with these star-like girls, they are just a little rose among thousands of flowers. There is no way to talk about fighting for beauty, only ordinary falling with the wind, trampling on others, and surviving with grievances.
She has had this feeling of inferiority since she was a child, her parents are divorced, she has gone out to work and never returned, and the aura of left-behind children has always shrouded her. The grandparents pulled her up with hard work. The family was poor, and Xiaolian dropped out of school after a few years. As a teenager, he shouldered the burden of the family, working during the day and taking care of his bedridden grandparents at night. The misery of life seemed to have befallen this thin and poor little girl in advance.
She had applied for many jobs without success, so she had to work as a cashier in a supermarket. This nine-hour work at one stop put her already thin and undernourished body under tremendous pressure, her legs trembled, she gritted her teeth and persevered, she knew that there was never a savior, no one could rely on her, only herself.
The rules of the supermarket are very strict, the customer is absolutely God, you have to listen to everything, you can't talk back, many colleagues just can't stand this torture before leaving.
When the forest is larger, there are often many types of birds. The same is true for people, people in different circumstances, in different environments, different levels of education, different mentalities. Many people will have ideas in their hearts when they see that other people have good living conditions, drive luxury cars, and live in bungalows.
There are many levels of consumption places, different qualities, world-class luxury goods are dazzling, and people's choices are also diversified, ranging from tens to hundreds of thousands of clothes for a piece of clothing. The greater the gap between the rich and the poor, the more likely it is to cause an imbalance among the low-income people, causing them to be psychologically distorted and hateful to society, which will also breed social instability over time.
Some retirees have no worries about food and clothing, their children have a home, and there is nothing to worry about, after all, they have been busy all their lives, and they are suddenly idle, with no goals, no spiritual sustenance, and live a boring life.
These people need to find a point to confide in, they need to be recognized by society, and they want to live a meaningful life.
Our society often ignores these groups of people, and they have nowhere to deal with them. Just focus on these window units of service nature. Service workers in the tertiary industry often become the target of attacks by this part of the psychologically distorted and impersonal population.
This is especially true in the supermarket, where Xiaolian is suffering greatly mentally while her body is overdrawn, which makes her depressed and breathless. People are not saints and sages, and small flaws often cause customers to scold, and sometimes even fight.
Some customers even vent their dissatisfaction with society, family life, and married life on this immature heart. Those actions that are not a matter in the eyes of normal people are infinitely magnified by these customers, who do not give up and make things difficult in every way.
When making change, the banknotes are not new, the customer is given coins, the checkout speed is slow at the cashier, there is no smile, there is no timely answer to the customer's questions, and even sometimes a casual look will cause the customer's suspicion, hostility and incomprehension.
With the minimum wage in this city, the payment is unimaginable for ordinary people. It can be seen that this job is very important to her, after all, she has to eat, and her grandparents have to take medicine. These very practical problems in front of us have to be carried by the weak body.
Soon after, the two old men died, which caused her to suffer another great blow, and the two old men who loved her the most were gone, leaving only this lonely soul wandering in this world, tears of despair flowing down her eyes, dripping on this boundless cold and vast land.
It wasn't until she met Sister Ying that night in the nightclub that this little girl who had long lost confidence in life gradually felt the love and warmth of the world. In the big family of the three groups, she feels this kind of care and thoughtfulness all the time. These good people in the three groups made her rekindle her hope for life.
Everyone was thinking that the insurance company would delay the child, and she was now at the age when she was going to school.
Then the problem arises again, Xiaolian's basic knowledge is too bad, and she must not be able to compete with her peers in compulsory education and high school education. How can I get her to school?
Everyone's eyes involuntarily turned to Sister Ying, and everyone knew in their hearts that this beautiful and confident woman regarded the poor little girl as her own sister and her own spiritual sustenance.
As expected, a major university offered Xiaolian an olive branch, and instead of taking the college entrance examination, she came to this quiet and beautiful ivory tower in the name of the children of the school sponsors.
met the prince charming she liked, but she didn't dare to confess to him, and her inferiority complex kept telling her: " You have been a left-behind child since you were a child, your family is poor, your figure is very thin and there is no big S curve, although your appearance is exquisite, your eye sockets are sunken, your hair is dry, you lack nutrition, you have no youth and vitality, you don't like to talk, you always look at other people's faces, take care of other people's emotions, you don't deserve him at all, you look at the suitors around him, people's family background, people's figure, people's looks, which point can you compare to others. You stupid boy, stop dreaming and give up!"
This demon in her heart always appears when she misses Prince Charming the most and wants to be the most wrong. It shattered her wonderful dreams. Let this little mind cast a huge shadow. She was deeply caught in the contradiction of dissatisfaction and hesitation about her own life experience.