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When He Yang found Nanfeng, she was sitting quietly on the bench outside the operating room, her face expressionless and her eyes empty. He was silent for a moment, then sat down beside her.

"Is there any smoke?" she asked.

He Yang touched his pocket and handed over a pack of cigarettes. He actually doesn't smoke, just because he often interacts with Hua Xu, and Hua Xu's old smoking gun is sometimes not enough to smoke two packs a day, so He Yang is used to carrying a pack with him. The cigarette is also a foreign brand that Hua Xu likes, the cigarette body is as slender as the fingers of a dancing girl, and the taste is very strong, and people who smoke it for the first time are absolutely unaccustomed to it, and the south wind is also choked and coughed twice.

“...... It's really spicy. She said, continuing to swallow the clouds and smoke jerky.

The corners of He Yang's mouth moved, but he still didn't say anything. Just sit silently beside her, watching the pale smoke bill and dissipate. Neither of them spoke for a moment, only the ticking of the clock in the hallway.

After smoking half a cigarette, Nanfeng suddenly laughed: "I thought you would persuade me not to smoke." Say something like 'it's not good for your health.' ”

He Yang looked at her and said, "But you're very upset." ”

"yes. She let out a long puff of white smoke and her voice was in a trance, "But that can't be helped." ”

But that can't be helped.

Twelve years ago, she couldn't stop Lynn. Twelve years later, she didn't catch up either.

Whether it was then or now, she has never been able to do anything.

"The last time I came here, I also said to Yunjing, don't worry, I locked Lin up, those guys won't come, he doesn't have to be scared anymore. I promised him that I would never let what happened back then, and that I would never let others become like us again. I'm going to kill those guys, I'm going to kill them no matter how many times I come. ”

Nanfeng heard an incredibly weak voice, and it took a moment to react, it turned out to be her own voice. So she laughed like that, so far away that it seemed to come from the sky, empty.

"I swore it. ”

Nanfeng looked at the lights in the operating room, but she didn't seem to see anything, she seemed to be talking to He Yang, and she seemed to be just talking to herself.

"I only have cloudscape anymore, I thought that at least this one ...... This is the only one I can protect. ”

I swore an oath.

"But I didn't. ”

She could finally admit it.

"I couldn't do it at all. ”

She laughed self-deprecatingly. At this moment, she only felt tired.

- Look, Anan, they're still here.

Oh, yes. Just like Yunjing said, they came.

Why didn't she believe Yunjing? Why did she tell him it wasn't true?

Because she herself didn't want to believe it, because she was afraid that it was true. She was reluctant to admit the fact that no matter how much she killed, no matter how hard she tried...... They would still come, and she still couldn't stop it.

She kept telling Yunjing that she was already strong enough to protect him, and that what happened twelve years ago would not happen again.

But he was still attacked, covered in bruises and blood. And she, like twelve years ago, did nothing.

Nanfeng didn't understand, why could Yunjing continue to smile?

She was almost crushed by that smile.

How she got here, she didn't know. How she sat down until now, she didn't know.

All she knew was that she was waiting for a result. Waiting for a verdict.

Cloudscape, her last ...... Is the last possessed past to be lost?

One hand held her hand, steady and warm. Being held by this hand, Nanfeng realized that his hand had been trembling slightly. Then she heard his voice, calm and calm.

"Isn't it normal that you can't do it?"

He Yang said.

"That's not your fault. ”

Nanfeng closed his eyes. But He Yang continued.

"Why do you think this happened?"

"If I had come sooner......" her voice lowered.

"Would you have been able to stop it if you had come earlier? Did you think so?" He Yang smiled, "You are completely mistaken. ”

“......”

"It's because they attacked here that Yunjing was injured, you can't make a mistake about that. ”

Nanfeng wanted to refute something, but He Yang squeezed her hand and interrupted her.

"Let me finish - I've found out before that Southwind has a bad habit of blaming yourself for everything. You always say that it's your fault, that you didn't protect him. He Yang couldn't help but shake his head, "Blaming yourself is a good way to escape reality, but it won't solve the problem at all." ”

Nanfeng opened his eyes and looked at him coldly: "What do you mean by this?"

He Yang paused, but decided to continue: "Blaming yourself is a means of self-preservation, which will make you feel that if you don't neglect and if you are strong enough, then the tragedy will not happen again." However, this is not the case. ”

“......”

"What should happen will happen, because you are not the one who did evil. Because they did, this thing happened. The dominance is in their hands, not yours. In this case, it turned out to be like this because the monster attacked the hospital. If there's one thing I've got to blame for you, it's that you're not here. ”

“......”

He Yang's voice was calm and almost cruel: "You're just lying to yourself." You even want to lie to Yunjing. ”

Nanfeng felt his head begin to ache faintly: "Why should I lie to him?"

"Because you want to believe that you can't lose him. He Yang sighed, "Although I don't know what you're afraid of...... But you want to protect Yunjing from something, right? ”

Nanfeng's headache suddenly became intense, and she didn't know if she had nodded her head.

"You are already strong, but no one can guarantee that you will be able to protect another person, and no one can put your life in the hands of another person. No matter how strong you are, no one can do it. Some things are just so good that no one can think of it, and no one can do anything about it. His voice was almost a little sad, "This is reality, no matter how much you deceive yourself, it's useless." That's right, you're here, and you'll definitely be able to save Yunjing. But the problem is, at that time, it is not up to you to decide whether you are here or not. ”

The cigarette fell from her hand, and Nanfeng's head hurt as if it was about to crack, and she reached out against the corner of her forehead, trying to suppress the sudden pain.

In the dizziness caused by this severe pain, He Yang's voice became blurred, but it still had the power to point directly at people's hearts.

"Don't lie to yourself anymore, Southwind. ”

Deceive yourself.

Is that so?

Tell yourself that everything is your fault, so that you can convince yourself that if you avoid this mistake, everything will not happen again, so that you will not lose the cloud view - right?

Yunjing probably saw through this a long time ago. See through this lie. That's why he kept smiling with such a pampering look and looking at her sadly.

Okay, okay, admit it, Southwind.

You just think that it is easier and easier to change yourself than external factors beyond your control. Then you can trust that you are still in control of your own destiny and that you can still prevent something from happening.

Like Lynn said......

It's cunning.

He Yang seemed to be still saying something.

What is he talking about?

As if to say, it is not meaningless to change yourself, you think, you are so strong, you can stop a lot of things.

"Didn't you save me?"

"Because you are strong enough, you can save me when something happens. ”

"If you were here today, you would definitely be able to save Yunjing, isn't it much better to think about it than if you were here?"

Nanfeng wanted to smile, but she suddenly lost her strength.

In the severe pain, the eyes suddenly went dark.

Consciousness is severed.

- At the same time.

The sky just dimmed. The last rays of afterglow sank below the horizon, and twilight engulfed the land. The light dimmed, and the shadows became darker. If the substantial darkness condensed, He Yang closed his mouth abruptly and subconsciously took a step back.

In the darkness, a pair of eyes deeper than the darkness slowly opened.

"It's so loud, it's noisy. ”

The man's voice was a little irritated, and after seeing He Yang's face clearly, the corners of the man's mouth paused, and he suddenly pulled out a hideous arc to the side, as fierce as a beast.

"It's actually you kid again......"

He Yang seemed to be targeted by a large beast, and his whole body stiffened.

“...... Road, Road Xiaowei ......"

He shuddered as he read the man's name. 166 Reading Network