It was only half past four in the afternoon, Ai Xin was already lying on the bed and snoring, I don't know if there is still a residual effect of sleeping pills, Tao Li is envious.

He walked around the house a few times, and to be honest, although the decoration was not bad, he was not very tasteful, except that he could see that it was expensive, and he couldn't understand anything else.

However, the paintings on the walls had always intrigued him, and the rough brushstrokes were incompatible with the delicate decoration, and this time, when he finally had the opportunity to visit them freely, he took a closer look at them for the first time. Sure enough, as he guessed, the most corner of those gloomy and weird oil paintings had Ai Xin's small signature.

He once had one or two relationships and was semi-forced to accompany his girlfriend to art galleries or museums to see some exhibitions, after all, accompanying his girlfriend to do things he didn't like was a large part of his relationship.

In front of those occasions and those works of art, Tao Li never felt the slightest feeling, for him those were just very expensive furnishings, not to mention the kind of abstract works that can be sold for hundreds of thousands of dollars with a few ink dots on a blank piece of paper.

In some TV series, movies, and certain moments, he has seen people cry over an oil painting, and he has also seen people feel a lot of emotion in front of a work of art, which in the eyes of him in the past is really the biggest hypocrisy in the world. But now, he seems to have suddenly understood a little bit about the feelings of those people.

The oil paintings painted by Ai Xin are indeed very naïve, and many of them are big avatars, and the color matching is also very uncomfortable, often bright red, bright orange with emerald green, dark green, and other extreme collision colors put together, which makes Tao Li feel dizzy in front of him.

I don't know why, but when he looked at those paintings, he seemed to be able to see Ai Xin's despair and loneliness when he crouched in front of the easel, working on the canvas. In the middle of the night when she couldn't sleep one after another, Ai Xin sat alone in a three-story house, but she couldn't even find anyone who could speak, so she could only hold her mobile phone and computer, and watch those boring TV series and variety shows over and over again, so that there were some voices and some breath of life in this empty house.

This feeling he experienced briefly when he was a child, when his father, although rich, was not as successful as he is now, running business and socializing day and night, often at one or two o'clock in the middle of the night, with a smell of alcohol, and fell asleep. In order to take care of his father and fully support his father's work, his mother worked hard at home to study cooking skills and wanted to do a perfect logistics job for the father and son. Although there was no improvement in cooking skills in the end, the housework was really well organized.

But later, because of hard work and her own health, Li Jingyi stayed in the hospital for a period of time and went home after recuperating her body.

At that time, Tao Li was still young, and he couldn't take care of Li Jingyi at all when he went to the hospital, plus he still had to go to school, and his parents felt that the child was young and weak, so it was best to go to places like the hospital less, so Tao Li hadn't seen his parents much for almost a month.

In the quiet environment of the bedroom, where the whole home was quiet, he couldn't sleep at all. Every night, he sat quietly in the huge living room alone, turning on the TV all night long, listening to the sound and sleeping on the sofa.

At that time, he once thought that if he had a family in the future, he would never let his children stay at home alone, enduring endless loneliness and helplessness. Even if he earns less money, even if he is not so rich and expensive, he must spend more time with his children and not be absent from his children's childhood.

Although now, his growth trajectory is completely different from what he thought when he was a child, it does not mean that he has forgotten that time when he was a child.

Some abrasion marks will remain in a person's heart for a lifetime.

Tao Li stood in front of the oil painting, and this sentence suddenly popped into his mind.

He didn't know how Ai Xin's parents died, but Ai Xin was not yet twenty years old, and he had already experienced this kind of thing, no matter what form it was, it must have been a blow from the heavens and the earth to the ground.

After walking around the room for a while, Tao Li suddenly remembered Ai Xin's study, which was a room he had never entered before. On the one hand, it was because Ai Xin locked the door every time he was inside, and he didn't have a chance to get in, and on the other hand, because he was really not interested in books and other things, even if he opened the door, he wouldn't necessarily look at it.

But now, Tao Li was more curious about that room than ever, and he wanted to know everything about Ai Xin.

Gently opened the door of the study, but it was not locked, Tao Li glanced at it, but it was just the decoration of an ordinary study.

Ai Xin's home was not designed by herself, so it was not like her later residence in Beijing, where she built a study with great care.

Although it was ordinary, Tao Li still noticed at a glance that the huge bookcase that occupied the entire wall was made of mahogany, which was very exquisitely made, and there were at least hundreds of books listed on it, which made him feel a headache instantly.

However, he didn't want to look at it anymore, it was also something that the people he liked loved, so he stubbornly approached the bookcase and took a cursory look.

The books on the bookcase are basically literary books, all of them are in Europe, America, Japan, South Korea, and China, and I feel that there are more in the United Kingdom and Japan, and there are also many prose and poetry collections. Looking beyond the literary books, there are dozens of professional books, including "Management", "Fundamentals of Economics", "Fundamentals of Statistics", "Film History" and other school course books, as well as other professional introductory books such as "The Rabble: A Study of Popular Psychology", "Words in the World", "Lectures on the History of the Wei, Jin, Southern and Northern Dynasties", and "Gender Violence in Movies".

Tao Li has also seen other people's bookcases, many of them are furnishings, it is rare that almost all of Ai Xin's books have traces of reading, Tao Li opened them casually, and he could see some notes and sketches, which also made Tao Li feel the gap between himself and Ai Xin.

But he is also a master who likes to face difficulties, and the more he feels that there is a gap, the more he wants to conquer.

He continued to touch along the bookcase, and suddenly found a special existence - none of the books in this row have titles printed on the spine, and the cover is a thick burlap texture, Tao Li took out a copy casually, and found that this row is all handwritten notebooks, and the content is all diaries, casual feelings, notes and other things, which should be written by Ai Xin himself.

This intrigued him, and he pulled out the first notebook in the row, sat down by the bay window, and looked at it through the remaining sunlight.

Turning the first page, there were only a few words on the white paper, but Juanxiu's font instantly grasped Tao Li's heart, and he took a deep breath before slowly regaining his composure.

"Thousands of lights, none of them are for me. ”

On Ai Xin's notes, this sentence was written.

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