Shi Huan looked at him with partial eyes, his throat was a little itchy, and he wanted to smoke.

In fact, he is not addicted to smoking, he was rebellious when he was a teenager, he thought smoking was cool and personal, and he learned it from Lu Jingyu, at that time Qin Yi controlled him and smoked less.

In those years abroad, the pressure was really great, and smoking became the best way to relieve stress, and the addiction to smoking was slightly greater.

Later, I went to prison for two years, and basically quit, and after I came out of prison, except when I had to socialize or was really upset, I would smoke a cigarette, and sometimes I could carry a pack of cigarettes on my body for a week or two.

In the past few days, I can't wait to have a cigarette burning in my hand at any time, and I take a few puffs when I look at Mu Huanhuan.

But I have to take care of the child in her belly, and I can't smoke it in front of her.

Shi Huan didn't want to hide anything, "You suddenly don't want this child, and you don't plan to tell me the truth, I can only figure out why myself." ”

Mu Huanhuan raised his head to look at him, the smile on his face was faint, "Do you know the answer now?"

Shi Huan looked at it and didn't speak.

He returned to Mu's house, Mu Zhenlin had already gone out, and only Xiao Yun was at home.

Xiao Yun is a very smart woman, he only said a few words, and she guessed the reason why he went and returned.

Xiao Yun didn't use any strong tone, but simply stated the cause of death of Mu Huanhuan's biological mother, and Mu Huanhuan was the only target at the scene of the crime at that time.

Mu Huanhuan's biological mother was found by the nanny of the family two days after she died, before the nanny took two days off to go back for something at home, and when she came back, she found that the mistress of the house was dead in the bathtub, and blood was flowing all over the bathroom.

At that time, Mu Huanhuan was only three years old.

For half a year after that, three-year-old Mu Huanhuan didn't say a word, and later sent her to a psychiatrist for treatment for a long time before recovering.

On the surface, except for being a little quieter and more withdrawn, it is indeed similar to other normal children, and there is no abnormality in the mood.

Mu Huanhuan smiled faintly, and her tone carried a faint mockery, as if she was saying something that had nothing to do with herself: "Shi Huan, my dad got together with my current stepmom Xiao Yun when my mom was pregnant, and my mom was depressed because of my dad's betrayal, and finally chose to commit suicide by cutting her wrists." ”

She frowned, and said, "Aunt Xiao should have told you that I saw a psychiatrist when I was a child. In fact, not only the psychiatrist, but also the hypnotist, wanted to directly erase those things from my mind. But I don't know if the hypnotist was too incompetent or my will was too tenacious, I didn't actually forget, but I really didn't think of myself as a psychopath, so I pretended to forget and made myself look normal. ”

She lowered her eyes again and smiled, "Do you know why I like to eat egg fried rice? Because Lin Shuqing is like a normal mother only when she makes egg fried rice for me to eat, she won't beat me, she won't scold me, she won't pinch me...... On the day she died, she tied me in the bathroom with a rope and let me see her cut her wrist with a knife, I screamed at me and struggled, but she just looked at me coldly, she said, she wanted me to watch instead of my dad, to make my dad regret it. I watched as her sickly smiling face slowly lost blood, and at last only a pair of wide, wide-open eyes were left looking at me......"

Mu Huanhuan never thought that one day she would be able to tell this secret to someone so calmly, she never told anyone, including the psychiatrist who treated her at that time, she never said it in such detail.

"Shi Huan, mental illness can also be inherited. Mu Huanhuan's hands couldn't help clenching, letting her nails dig deep into her flesh, "When I was young, I didn't want to admit that I was sick, but as I grew older, I knew it very well, but in fact, it was different from other people, maybe at some point in the future, I would really become like Lin Shuqing." ”

Mu Huanhuan took a deep breath, "I wanted to give birth to this child before, not because I loved it so much, but just because I needed it. ”

needs to have a sustenance that can carry her life and let her live well.

She was really afraid that one day she would find that nothing was meaningless, and end up walking like her mother, so cowardly and ugly.

Shi Huan didn't say anything, quietly listening to Mu Huanhuan talking, and when she said that she wanted to give birth because she needed this child, his ink-like pupils printed her face and asked, "Since you need it, why don't you want to give birth to it." ”

Mu Huanhuan was silent for a while, and laughed helplessly, "Is it because I need it, do I have to selfishly let it become another self?" Shi Huan sneered, "Mu Huanhuan, you are indeed sick, and you are not lightly ill!"

Mu Huanhuan's face was suddenly defeated, he lowered his head and eyes, and his nails were deeper into the flesh. Shi Huan took her hand a little rudely, slowly broke her fingers, and looked at the place where the palm had been broken by the nails, full of anger mixed with an astringent feeling of soreness.

His rough fingertips gently brushed the scars on her palms, and said lightly: "But you are not suffering from a disease like your mother, but a disease that is unfounded." ”

"Mu Huanhuan, has anyone told you that you are a very negative woman?" Shi Huan raised her chin, "Some things that haven't happened, what do you want to do so much?" According to your thinking, people will die one day, is it because they want to die, so they don't eat or drink water every day in order not to waste resources?"

Facing Shi Huan's gaze, Mu Huanhuan was a little afraid to look directly at the light in his eyes, "However, I really don't have the confidence to be a good mother." ”

Shi Huan said: "Nothing is innate, besides, if you can't do it well, and me, what are you afraid of, huh?"

......

Late at night, Mu Huanhuan couldn't sleep in the guest bedroom.

Thinking about the words that Shi Huan said at the dinner table, in her twenty-three years of life, among the four men who had the most impact on her life, Shi Huan was the first man to give her an unprecedented sense of security.

Like he said - and me, what are you afraid of.

These simple seven words, sweet and soaked into the heart, make people yearn for new life, but it may also be a sugar-coated poison, the deadly kind.

She rolled over and got up from the bed, picked up her phone on the bedside table and glanced at it, it was almost two o'clock in the morning.

She turned off the screen of her phone and sat quietly on the bed with her phone for a while, the curtains were only drawn with a layer of tulle windows, and the light from outside came in from nowhere, roughly illuminating the fall of the room.

She felt a little cold inexplicably, and suddenly remembered the heat of waking up from Shi Huan's arms that afternoon and being wrapped in him.

She fixed her gaze on a certain point in the air for a while, lifted the quilt and got out of bed to put on her slippers, she opened the door and walked out, after getting used to the darkness, that is, there was no light in the corridor, she still clearly walked to the door of Shi Huan's bedroom.

After hesitating for two seconds, she tentatively pressed down the doorknob first, and it opened like this, and after hesitating for a while, she pushed open the door and walked in.

Shi Huan didn't sleep, and he didn't turn on the lights, he was wearing thin pajamas, standing in front of the window with a half-burning cigarette in his hand, looking at the city lights on the other side, and learned some of Mu Huanhuan's past from Xiao Yun, but it was still very different from what Mu Huanhuan said in person.

The three-year-old child watched his mother die in front of him, and spent two days and two nights in a cramped bathroom with his mother's cold corpse.

If it were a change in his mind when he was three years old, I'm afraid he would have been stupid.

He was inferior to her in the end.

Thinking of this, Shi Huan couldn't help but chuckle.

As soon as his laughter fell, a soft voice came from the direction of the door, Shi Huan glanced sideways, but there was no movement, he thought it was just an illusion, and was about to retract his gaze, when he saw a slender black shadow slowly walking in.

Mu Huanhuan didn't expect that Shi Huan hadn't slept yet, she looked at the tall man figure standing in front of the large floor-to-ceiling window, and her footsteps subconsciously froze in place.

In the dimly lit room, the two seemed to be separated by layers of fog, but they could clearly find each other's eyes.

Maybe he smoked a cigarette, or something else, Shi Huan's voice was very low and hoarse when he spoke, "Can't sleep?"

Mu Huanhuan shook her head a little slowly, "I feel a little cold." ”

Shi Huan paused, "I'll go to the guest bedroom, you sleep in my room." ”

As he spoke, Shi Huan put out half of the cigarette that had not yet burned out in the ashtray, took the cigarette case and lighter, and was about to go next door.

Mu Huanhuan pursed her lips and didn't say anything for a while, until the man walked past her, she grabbed Shi Huan's pajamas violently.

Shi Huan turned to look at her sideways and didn't speak.

Mu Huanhuan knew that this man was forcing her to speak.

She licked her lips that were a little dry, and said clearly word by word: "Shi Huan, don't go." ”

Shi Huan's voice was restrained: "Huanhuan, do you know the consequences of your words?"

She knew, she knew of course.

Shi Huan gave her the power to choose, but once she did, then she had no room to go back.

It's like a gamble, once you start, either win a grand slam or lose it all.

Although it was a big gamble, she still wanted to give it a go.

Mu Huanhuan nodded gently, "Shi Huan, I only have one condition. ”

"What?" Shi Huan rolled his Adam's apple and said softly.

Mu Huanhuan looked up at him, "One day in the future, if you want to be with other women, I hope you don't deceive me, you can tell me clearly." ”

She wasn't sure if she would be able to face it calmly at that time, but it was better than a poor woman who was kept in the dark.

Shi Huan sighed imperceptibly, then reached out to wrap his arms around Mu Huanhuan's slender waist and brought it into his arms, and he lightly promised: "Okay." ”

Mu Huanhuan wrapped her arms around his broad and strong shoulders, pressed her face against his left chest, and the powerful heartbeat came into her ears one by one, beating her heart.

She should just transfer Gu Xihan's feelings to Shi Huan, right?

She doesn't love Shi Huan......