Where the camera couldn't shine, Lu Youyou pinched the corners of her clothes and rubbed them repeatedly. I haven't spoken dialects for too long, even if I met Fang Xingai, they have always communicated in Mandarin, and Lu Youyou stumbled a little when she spoke southern dialect.

However, it is not the accent that hinders the language even more, but the lack of knowing what to say.

She also lowered her eyes, didn't look at the camera and screen, and pretended that she had something to do, so she didn't respond in time.

"Lu Youyou!" 's mother's voice came from the phone, it should have been taken by someone else, "Have you eaten?"

Lu Youyou showed a smile: "Not yet." ”

"Oh, not yet. Mother answered, and Lu Youyou was about to say that she would eat later, but her mother didn't ask her what she was going to eat.

She reproached: "It's been so long, you haven't called back, are you playing games all day long?"

"No......" Lu Youyou was helpless, looking for a reason to say, "I'm busy with work." ”

"No matter how busy you are at work, you won't have time to get off work, right! You just sit in the office, where can you be busy with that little work? You just don't have the heart!"

Yes, saying that she has no heart, saying that she is cold-blooded, this kind of thing has been said countless times during quarrels.

But she didn't expect to hear it on this video call.

Lu Youyou lowered her eyes, and her fingers subconsciously touched the screen, the top side, the red hang-up button.

But I didn't press it.

Mom said again, a little mysteriously, "Tomorrow is your brother's birthday." You're a sister, you haven't been back for so long, you have to say it on his birthday. ”

Lu Youyou was stunned, too, it's almost my brother's birthday. She cheered up, sat up a little straighter, and hesitated in her heart, wondering what gifts boys of this age liked?

She didn't say anything in her heart, but her mother saw that she didn't move, and urged: "Why didn't you react!

Lu Youyou took a deep breath quietly.

When she spit it out again, Lu Youyou said, "No, I don't know what to send, I'm thinking about it." ”

"Are you thinking?" Mom asked rhetorically, I don't know if Lu Youyou is too careful, and it seems to have a sneering voice, "You are in a big city, you see a lot of things, what are you seeing, what are the better, stranger, let your brother open his eyes, he is not like you, he can run around the world, he wants to study hard in school." ”

Lu Youyou pursed her lips.

She accidentally thought of her birthday three months ago.

She didn't care about the day, as if it was no different from any other day. It's true, the sun won't be especially bright for her on this day, and the subway won't be particularly relaxed for her on this day. She is still mediocre at work like every day before, and naturally she will not have any special feelings for this day.

Only Ren Tuan will send birthday wishes before she gets up, and it is difficult for her, and she has to count the jet lag abroad, so she can't say that she doesn't care. But that's about it.

Her family, the parents who brought her into the world on this day, did not remember the existence of this day. That day, my father sent a WeChat voice call, Lu Youyou was still happy, the warmth in her heart was not finished, and when she heard her noisy voice on the phone, she asked, "What are you doing?"

Lu Youyou looked around at her colleagues, carefully walked out of the box with the microphone, and said, "Eat out with your colleagues." ”

"Dinner? Who's going to invite you?"

Lu Youyou was a little embarrassed: "...... I please. ”

"You please!?" Mom's voice exploded instantly, "Why are you pleased, you can't spend all the money, can you......?

"Mom," Lu Youyou was extremely glad that she came out to answer the phone, "I...... It's my birthday today, so I'm going to have a meal with my colleague. ”

There was a pause on the other side of the phone, and he said, "Oh, it's your birthday......"

At that moment, Lu Youyou's eyes were not hot, the bridge of her nose was not sore, but her heart was a little cold.

She didn't say "um", she didn't speak, and she didn't remember what was said on the other side of the phone, only that the sugar cane farmer's phone call did not escape the "three-minute rule" in the end, and the call ended at one and a half minutes.

For a minute and a half, she didn't wait for the words "Happy Birthday".

Lu Youyou didn't mind, she thought that her personality would definitely be inseparable from the family environment. She is so silent, how can she ask her parents to talk sweetly to her? Moreover, even if they really said that kind of thing, in the end, Lu Youyou still didn't know how to respond, and it ended in embarrassment.

The memory is broken here, because the mother's excited voice in the video cried out: "Cub, where are you going?"

Lu Youyou looked at the screen silently, and her younger brother, who was in junior high school, appeared in the camera. He slapped a basketball, with no expression on his cool little face, looked at the lens of his glasses, seemed a little shy, and said, "Go play basketball." ”

"Yes, yes. Mother's excited tone made Lu Youyou think that her younger brother was not going to play basketball, but to play the World Cup, "Go, bring water to drink, don't get hot!"

The younger brother walked away.

Mom smiled for a while, looked at the screen, and smiled again.

"Forget it, just hang up if there's nothing to do. ”

Lu Youyou didn't respond, her fingers were already hanging on the hang up button, but she never pressed it.

She didn't move, and there was no expression on her face, and the picture probably looked like it might make people think that the network was not good and stuck. Mom didn't care about her anymore, and the call interface was cut off with a bang.

Lu Youyou sat there for a long time, exhaling slowly, feeling a little tired.

It's not that her parents don't know how to show warmth, but they don't have this kind of warmth for her.

Sometimes Lu Youyou also wonders what she did wrong, where she offended her parents, which caused this cold situation. But she is really real, and there is no way to find any too hurtful thing from her barren life experience to answer the current scene.

Lu Youyou sat quietly on the chair for a while, picked up her phone again, and opened Taobao.

I still want to buy gifts...... After all, my brother is a handsome boy with excellent grades.

He is worthy of praise and has nothing to do with the attitude of his parents [write a postscript in the gift: Don't become someone like your sister].

After washing, Lu Youyou did not go to bed immediately, but sat in the small living room, hesitated for a while, turned on the TV, and inserted the game disc.

If it hadn't been mentioned by her parents on the phone just now, even she would have forgotten that there was such a way to relax.

Squeezed by life, she doesn't even have the leisure to think about games.

While waiting for the game to load, Lu Youyou was in a daze, thinking about the last time she played this game?

...... Ah, by the way, it was the day I met Ling Zhaoting. They sit together on this carpet and play this game. Ling Zhaoting said that he had cleared the customs.

Thinking of Ling Zhaoting, it was very strange, Lu Youyou felt that her heart was not so heavy. She manipulated the characters and entered the familiar and long-lost scene, the picture that once made her find interesting and funny can still make her smile, Lu Youyou wandered in her fantasy world, and gradually, as if she felt that her soul was floating, beyond her body, freely and freely, examining her own life.

It's so busy that I don't even have time to relax.

However, what are you busy with? Lu Youyou couldn't give an answer right away. Going to and from work every day, it seems that theoretically, the time outside of work belongs to her, but does she really have it?

Or is she really enjoying it?

Seem...... Not really.

She has been living in the depression of the work environment, the difficulty and congestion of the commute to and from work, and she has automatically and spontaneously made these bad emotions into a glass cover, which is fiercely around herself, separated from those happy factors.

It was she who had deprived herself of her own happiness, and no one else.

Lu Youyou seemed to have suddenly figured this out and smiled. Many times, people's negative emotions are just self-torment.

As if suddenly struck by inspiration, Lu Youyou got up and turned on the computer, opened the video production software, her eyes were bright, and the colored light spots in her brain were constantly rotating, and the mouse in her hand followed her own feelings to capture those colors, and gradually drew some gorgeous patterns.

Lu Youyou stared at the display screen, but she still felt that it was not enough, she found some childhood materials, rubber bands, lollipops, and rubber band rings on other people's heads that will always look better than herself...... Editing them together and incorporating them into the footage I made before made it into a very nostalgic video.

In the end, Lu Youyou couldn't help but burst into tears.

She hasn't enjoyed it for a long time, and her followers on Weibo are increasing day by day, but she is becoming more and more afraid to continue creating, for fear that others will lower their expectations of her. But tonight, she didn't think about anything else, just pure immersion in her own thoughts.

There was no one to persuade her, and she herself was very indulgent, Lu Youyou played until one o'clock in the morning, and finally couldn't hold the eyelids of fighting up and down, and went to bed.

Before going to bed, taking advantage of the gap between uploading the video to Weibo, Lu Youyou was still unwilling to swipe Weibo for a while, and a message seemed to be swiped across her fingertips, as if Shuangxue was going to release a new game, and sent a preview.

It's a pity that the brain that has been chaotic into cement can't pay attention anymore, Lu Youyou held the mobile phone, and finally couldn't hold back and fell asleep.

But sure enough, there will be a reward for the death of people, and when she woke up the next morning, Lu Youyou only felt the sharp pain in the neck and the back of her head, and she was so tired that she wanted to sleep for another five hundred years, but unfortunately the biological clock was very clear and did not let her fall asleep, because the thought of going to work today was too strong, strong to the bone marrow......

Hey, get up.