In the face of death, regret is insignificant, and in its place, it is worried and fearful at first, and then it turns into grief, powerless and at a loss.

That feeling of powerlessness also seems to be able to drain a person's soul, and it will not make much difference whether it is life or death.

Xu Heyan froze in place, standing for a few seconds, and when she suddenly came back to her senses, the ambulance was already far away.

She turned her head blankly, looking in the direction she had just run, and she could see the deep sadness in the eyes of the people.

In a trance, she really realized that the person had left her.

It seemed to take her a long time to tell herself – it was true.

Then, it was Swaye who walked up to her.

Before she spoke, Xu Heyan said, "Accompany me to the hospital, okay?"

It used to be the place she knew best, but now she didn't dare to set foot alone.

Si Wei didn't hesitate, nodded and said "Okay".

From her point of view, after hearing her answer, Xu Heyan wanted to pull a smile out, but as soon as she moved, tears burst out of her eyes first.

In this situation, nothing can achieve the effect of relief.

Siwei took her arm, stood beside her, and whispered, "Let's go." ”

Xu Heyan paused, and finally took a step.

Every step is light.

Si Wei faintly felt that it would be difficult for the optimistic and cheerful Xu Heyan in the past to come back.

She walked slowly with her, and at one moment she inadvertently turned around and saw the fire trucks driving out one after another.

Si Wei retracted his gaze and looked at the road ahead, dazed.

Halfway through, they took a taxi.

After arriving at the hospital, Xu Heyan went straight to the morgue.

Outside the door, a doctor and nurse stood guard, holding Zheng Zhi's clothes, on which lay a withered and deformed rose.

"Knowing that Dr. Xu will come, these are handed over to you. The nurse handed it to her.

Xu Heyan took it, his fingertips trembling and stroking every inch of material on the combat uniform, and finally landed on the rose.

"This was found inside the captain's clothes. The nurse said.

Xu Heyan sniffed, "Thank you." ”

Then she asked, "Can you take me in?"

The doctor agreed.

"Weiwei, you wait here for me for a while. Xu Heyan put his clothes on the chair.

After that, follow the doctor inside.

In the icy morgue, the doctor opened the morgue, and the thick white mist came out, so cold that people couldn't help but want to avoid it.

Xu Heyan's eyes stared unblinking, and he mustered up the courage to look at his face under the cold air.

Just one glance, the heart is like a knife.

She tried her best to restrain the tears that welled up in her eyes, but her body was trembling.

The doctor said, "Xiao Xu, don't stay too long, I'll go out first." ”

Xu Heyan nodded slowly.

In the hallway, when the doctor came out, Si Wei greeted him, and the other party went to the chair on the other side to sit down.

Si Wei tilted his head and stared at the firefighting suit.

experienced psychological ups and downs, and at this moment, her heart seemed to be so light that she didn't have any emotions, and she was extremely empty.

In the world of firefighters, bloodshed and sacrifice are unavoidable topics, perhaps, because they have all hugged a heart to welcome a happy ending, so that when parting comes, they can only passively bear it.

Xu Heyan stayed for five or six minutes, and when he came out, his face was pale.

She took Zheng Zhi's clothes in her arms and said, "Let's go." ”

Siwei silently followed.

They went to the fire barracks.

In the guard's room, Brother Liu poured a glass of water for the two of them.

Xu Heyan came to deliver clothes, but he left the bouquet of roses.

Brother Liu is a big man, his eyes are red, and he has obviously cried.

As soon as he opened his mouth, his voice was choked: "The deputy captain came to me to sign this morning, and when he saw that this flower was beautiful, I helped him cut one." ”

Brother Liu flipped out the signature board, "I was teasing him if he was giving him a girlfriend, he smiled and ignored me, but who knows ......"

Speaking of this, Brother Liu couldn't help wiping away his tears, and the crying was uncomfortable to hear.

Xu Heyan looked at the handwriting on it, and after a while, he whispered: "It's okay, at least, I received his flowers." ”

Hearing this, Brother Liu nodded again and again, as if pleased.

Xu Heyan didn't stay long, and said to Siwei before leaving: "Captain Song must not be feeling well, since you are here, it is better to go and see him." ”

After speaking, Brother Liu echoed: "That's right, if you want, I can let you in." ”

After consideration, Swei gave an affirmative response.

At sunset, there were only a few people coming and going in the camp.

Here, for the first time, I did not hear high-pitched slogans and did not see the hot training scene.

Only on the playground, there was a group of young men, quiet.

On the way, I met Da Jiang, who knew her.

learned from him that Song Ju'an went to see the instructor first when he came back, and then locked himself in the dormitory.

Siwei went straight to the dormitory building, climbed to the third floor, and found the corresponding house number.

The door was left open, and after two knocks, but no one answered, she pushed the door.

With the sound of "sizzling", the door panel is open, and the eyes of people inside and outside are facing each other.

Song Ju'an sat at the end of the bed, and when he looked at her, a flash of light flashed in his eyes, and it was fleeting.

Si Wei closed the door, entered, came to him and squatted down.

"Why did you come here all of a sudden?" he asked, looking down at the ground.

Si Wei sat down, and his tone was light: "In the afternoon, I also went there." ”

The crossed fingers staggered, and the back of his hand slashed, and he raised his eyes slightly.

For a long time, the room was surrounded by an oppressive sense of silence.

Si Wei suddenly said, "Do you want to wipe your face, it looks very dirty." ”

There is a washbasin with water next to it, most of which were made by other team members.

Song Ju'an said, "I'll go now." "He's going to get up.

Siwei pressed his arm, "I'll come, you go and sit on the bed." ”

He looked at her and didn't refuse.

Swayer soaked the towel and wrung it semi-dry.

From the forehead, the tip of the nose to the cheeks and chin, Song Ju'an stared at her throughout the whole process, not as tender and sweet as before, but full of deep eyes and thoughtful.

Si Wei deliberately ignored it, turned his head and put the towel in the basin.

"Are you afraid?" Song Ju'an suddenly asked, his voice hoarse: "It was Zheng Zhi who replaced me, and it should have been me who went in to investigate." ”

Si Wei's hands were dipped in the water, and she stared down at the reflection that swayed in the water, without squeaking.

After a moment, rubbing the towel as if it were unheard.

Song Ju'an stared at her slender back, her throat rolling, and her expression was entangled.

After all, he closed his eyes and let out a long breath.

Si Wei hung the towel aside and didn't look at him: "I'll go pour water." ”

"Just let it go, I'll do it. ”

"It's okay, I haven't been here for a long time, and I want to go down and walk alone. "Her attitude is very light, but she is resolute enough.

The atmosphere was delicate, and Song Ju'an knew that he couldn't stop her, so he let her go.

Siwei went downstairs, poured water, and put the empty basin in front of the door.

Fang Cai's atmosphere was too depressing, and if she didn't come out to calm down, she wouldn't be able to face him.

Now that she's out, he's able to reorganize his mood.

While recalling what Song Ju'an said, Si Wei walked around casually below, until he inadvertently came to a propaganda board.

Through the glass, there are a lot of photos pasted inside.

Many of these faces were unrecognizable.

Some have immature facial features and a hearty smile;

Some of them are honest and bared;

Some pretended to be serious, and the corners of their mouths curled.

In the center, there is a group photo, all wearing uniform blue uniforms.

Si Wei looked at each of the faces on it carefully, although he couldn't remember it, but he simply wanted to know what they looked like.

At the end, the gaze falls on the very middle of the front.

Song Ju'an and Zheng Zhi stood side by side, their arms around their chests in unison, looking at the camera with serious expressions.

......

Si Wei returned to the dormitory building, and when he walked into the corridor, he deliberately took a light step.

She came to the door, and while she saw the picture inside, the hand that pushed the door hung in the air.

Song Ju'an sat on another bed, tilted his head sideways, pressed his palms on the side of the bed, and stayed for a while.

He removed his hand and pressed his palm to his face, rubbing it up and down.

After going back and forth a few times, the movement stopped.

Outside the door, Swei could see his back twitching slightly, and occasionally a sobbing voice leaked out indistinctly.

She pinched the edge of the basin and crept up to her heart.

The pain of losing a comrade-in-arms, the nostalgia and self-blame day after day, is too heavy.

If he can't survive it, he will be trapped in it and can't extricate himself, and his future life will probably be shrouded in this shadow.

The palms were moist, and when tears fell, Song Ju'an would quickly wipe them away, and then the tear glands seemed to be out of control, and the corners of his eyes were constantly hot.

Simply, he no longer wiped.

As early as the moment he saw the corpse, he wanted to vent completely.

For many reasons, it can't.

However, no amount of tears could dissolve the depression in his chest that weighed him down.

After a while, I felt the shoulder side being lightly attached, and then, the body was attached to the familiar softness.

Song Ju'an's mouth trembled and he followed his instincts.

In the past, he thought that men should stand up to the sky, but now, he needs someone very much.

After a long time, he called: "Weiwei." ”

"What?"

"Is this a warning?"

Si Wei smoothed his back, "Why do you say that?"

He slowed down and replied: "In the past few months, I have thought about everything too beautifully, and even thought that sacrifice was far away from us, as long as we were cautious enough, after all, so many dangers had survived before. ”

"When I was most depressed, it was Zheng Zhi who relieved me. ”

"If it's a warning, why not me?"

Siwei's fingers tightened, clasping his shoulders, perhaps, he didn't feel it at all at this moment.

Outside the window was the faint twilight, Si Wei looked at the horizon, wanting to be comforted, but the words came to his lips and felt really powerless, and everything seemed rash before the grief of death.

The lips and flaps closed several times, but after all, nothing was said.

After a while, Song Ju'an put down his hand, got up, and looked as usual: "I'm fine, it's not early, I'll send you back." ”

Siwei said, "No need, I can take a taxi...... You, take care of yourself. ”

Song Ju'an smiled back.

It's just an arc.

On the way back, the car radio was reporting the news of the sudden fire at the farmers' market and the death of firefighters.

In the back seat, Si Wei recalled all the experiences he had experienced today, and he only felt a cold panic all over his body.

In getting along with Song Ju'an, she vaguely felt a sense of distance, which seemed to be a distance that she couldn't cross when she exhausted all her mental strength.

——

Jung-sik's memorial service is scheduled for nine a.m. three days later.

There were many people who came to mourn, but they all kept quiet and entered in an orderly manner.

Wreaths were placed on both sides of the hall, and in the center of the mourning hall was a coffin, the lid of which had not yet been nailed, and was piled with bouquets sent by unnamed mourners.

Xu Heyan was dressed in black, his pale face was not wearing makeup, holding a bouquet of bright white daisies in both hands, and slowly stepped in.

Putting down the flowers, she came to the side, staring at Zheng Zhi's face, holding back tears.

If a man has a spirit, he must have a sense.

She was here to see him off for the last time, and she couldn't cry.

Staring at that face for a long time, she put her hand on the edge of the coffin and slowly leaned down.

Very close to his ear, the lip flap opened and closed.

Fifteen minutes later, except for the five injured team members, the rest of the special service team members uniformed in formal flame blue uniforms and entered the mourning hall.

When they saw Zheng Zhi's body, the old men couldn't help crying.

On this day, they wore the same uniforms, but the only difference was that Zheng Zhi's hat was buttoned up next to their heads.

He left with glory and mission, leaving behind a heroic spirit that resides in the hearts of every team member.

And later, there is a gray-haired couple, and the man pushes the woman in a wheelchair.

It was Zheng Zhi's parents, who turned white overnight, as if they were dozens of years old.

Zheng's father stood up with his wife, and cried sadly the moment he saw his son's remains.

Zheng's mother grabbed the coffin, lay on it and cried: "You kid, didn't you say that you would have a reunion dinner with us next year......? You want the two of us to see you off, are you filial piety!"

Zheng's mother screamed, and fell to the ground crying in anger.

Song Ju'an rushed over in two steps, helped Zheng's father pick up the person, and helped him to the wheelchair.

Father Zheng trembled, "Son, go home with your parents." ”

"We're coming to pick you up......"