"We're back. They thought again.

But my heart is surprisingly flat, and I am a little melancholy. It seems that they have lost something, and they have not brought it all back. It was as if they were two strangers walking into this small town. These three months are as long as 30 years or 300 years. The town remained the same, except for a few tens of thousands of wild cats, very quiet, scurrying around silently, or lying on the wall quietly watching people. There was a newly torn down courtyard wall, and the new house was half up, and half of the new house sat quietly among the bricks, stones, and trees.

They finally walked into the courtyard of the troupe, the door of the troupe was open, the lights were bright, the communication room was lit, the tea stove was lit, the room was lit, the family members were also lit, and the old janitor stood at the door waiting. They entered the courtyard with a warm welcome, and each went to the dormitory, opened the door and window, and the lights came on one by one. The lights in the practice room were also turned on. They walked through the practice room to the dormitory for dinner, and walked on the faded red lacquered floor, which shook slightly and creaked. They couldn't help but stop in front of the mirror for a moment, and they were a little strange in the mirror. At a young age, her lower eyelids are a little saggy, the skin on her face is very rough, the sweat pores in her nose grooves are also enlarged, and her walking posture is so stupid, like an old goose. He had lost wrinkles, the scars left by the pimples were deep and dense all over his body, and he was desperate for a complete bath. There was a long queue at the door of the bathroom, and if they couldn't wait, they took water to their dormitory to wash, and the water splashed all over the ground. The water on the second floor dripped through the leaky and rotten floor, and the first floor shouted loudly like rain, but it did not cause disputes, everyone was very happy, and finally came back, as if wandering for a hundred days, and finally returned to the stable nest, and they were very happy.

They are also happy, but much calmer. After being away for three months, I want to come back every day, and it seems that coming back is a different realm, a different life. Now they are really back, but they don't understand what new situations and lives await them. Of course, things will be much easier for them to be together. Here, they knew the place well and knew which place was secluded. In such a secluded place, they can name a dozen in one go. In the days outside, they meditated, wasn't it a place where they could be quiet, where they could be alone, where they could do everything unscrupulously and to the fullest? But how distressed they were! Their distressed mood made the days they had longed for so long seem dull. However, the next night they arrived, they went out quietly, and there was no need to say it explicitly, there was already a strong tacit understanding here. After that, almost every night, they went out and did not return until late at night. Sometimes it doesn't wait for the night to be late, and they break up once it's over. It is already as ordinary as daily life and food, it has no special meaning, but it is indispensable. That's all they can do, as if there can be no other days. It seems that under an extremely strong push, a permanent inertia has been created, and they can no longer stop. However, happiness is becoming less and less, only for a short moment, and sometimes even that moment is gone. But then, anxious again, as if they had lost something of great importance and had to get it back, they tried one after the other, until they were exhausted. They really don't understand why people live, whether it is for the sake of such deeds, and to punish them with bitter remorse. It was as if they had lost their foot, stepped on a trap disguised as red flowers and green grass, and fell unstoppably into the abyss, as if they had slipped into the rushing rapids and whirlpooled into the turbulent whirlpool, and could not help themselves. They thought they were the unluckiest people in the world, and they wanted to die, but they couldn't make up their minds, and there was still a little attachment, and what was attached and painful was the same thing, that is, that dirty joy. It's like the doom of fate is not over, and they can't escape.

Autumn went to winter, but this winter was surprisingly warm, not even the snow fell, a thin layer, just touched the ground melted, and the crystal snowflakes immediately turned into pitch-black mud. Then came a sickly spring. Almost everyone got sick, colds, stomach aches, coughs, wheezing, and hepatitis B suddenly came in. The hospital has become the liveliest place, and the city is full of people. There is also a strange disease that everyone inevitably has and is not big or small, that is, diarrhea. First it was diarrhea, then a small diarrhea, and at the end, it was a slight fever, and then it was fine, and there were no major consequences, but it was ten days and a half months of weakness and weakness, and loss of appetite. The doctor at the county hospital was so sick that he couldn't find the answer after looking through all the medical books, and finally found out that it was a problem with drinking water. There is no running water here, the water in the well is bitter, the draft is all the river water, the river has been carrying boats for many years, the boat burns diesel, and the waste oil leaks in the water. Coupled with this year's warm winter, not only did many bacteria not freeze to death, but also gave birth to many fresh and active germs, so the river water was very dirty. Water is eaten by everyone, and naturally everyone has to have diarrhea, and it is strange not to diarrhea. In the hospital, I prepared a recipe for herbal medicine, and put a case at the door, without registration, just said that it was diarrhea, and sent a packet. Those who work on the street can pay a bill, and if they don't have a job, or if they are from the village, they only need to pay five cents. Very few of the villagers suffer from this disease, and they are not blessed to drink the water from the streets! Because of his loyal temperament, he is also very sympathetic. These days, the villagers enter the city but enter the city diligently, driving a big car, and the car is equipped with black artificial leather bags, which are specially loaded with dung and water. The thatched latrines in the city were full quickly, and if they didn't go for half a day, they would drip yellow water from all over the place, slowly out of the latrine mouth, and spread to the center of the street. Cats and dogs also got this disease, but no one gave them medicine, and the streets were full of diarrhea, and everywhere you could see cats and dogs with a sluggish expression, walking slowly with their tails down. A quiet city at the end of the day became stinking and filthy in an instant. I don't know what kind of big precept I have committed, as if God is punishing him.

Even in moments like this, they can't rest. In order to find a clean, dung-free place, they tirelessly ran far away, straight to the field ten miles away, hid in the haystack, and crushed the villagers' precious cattle grass. One night, because of the days of water, his body was very weak, and he fell asleep in the wheat stack. This night, the sleep was heavy and restless, both of them had many nightmares, both real and false, startled into a cold sweat, the dew soaked the wheat of the next year covering the body, seeped into the clothes and then into the skin, shivering with cold, but could not wake up, just curled up tightly, sometimes rolling together, sometimes separated. I don't know how much time passed, but they opened their eyes almost at the same time, and the sky was already light. They looked at the white sky with the belly of the fish, and they didn't understand it in their hearts, so they were stunned. Then, suddenly, they remembered that the whole night had passed. Then he screamed and turned over, and hurried to the city. The early risers watched in amazement at the sight of the young man and woman, who were disheveled and covered in broken wheat, and watched them run by. In the distance, there was the bell of the morning work in the production team, dang, dang, dang, melodious, it sounded so inauspicious to their ears, but it was too late to think about it. By the time they arrived at the troupe in a fit of rage, people had already gotten up, some were brushing their teeth and washing their faces by the pool, some were squatting in the corner of the wall for breakfast, and some were already practicing in the practice room. Eating, washing faces, talking and laughing. In the practice room, there is a recording of the piano accompaniment used for practice, which is a two-beat dance music, which is fresh and beautiful. All this was as if the people had deliberately arranged to show them their happiness, and in the face of this pure and peaceful happiness, they were shocked with shame, and they thought that they were the most unfortunate people in the world. On this night, she finally decided to die.

She is a simple-minded child, she came to the troupe as a student at a young age, and only studied for three years, and she couldn't even write a neat letter to her parents in a neighboring county. She was a happy child, she didn't know what to do, she didn't know what to worry about, she only knew what to eat, ate and slept all day long, and she didn't know what to do. Therefore, she practiced three or five times more than others, but with little effect. Just as she thinks of life as simple, she thinks of death as simple. It was not very difficult for her to make such a determination, and it did not take a lot of courage and a lot of thinking. She vaguely thought that death was sleeping, going out of the house, going far, and setting off. Of course, this departure is different from that departure, the only difference is that she cannot take any of her things with her, and any of her things, no matter how beloved, must be left behind. Stay, stay, it's nothing, she thought simple-mindedly. However, when she began to prepare for death in earnest, she suddenly realized that it was not a worry-free thing to leave her things behind. As with every preparation for departure, the first thing she sorted out was her clothes. She poured a large wicker box on the bed, shook it one by one, smoothed it out, folded it again, and thought to herself who would be more suitable. She saw some old clothes that she wore when she first joined the group, thin and small, and her style was extremely rustic. She compared the clothes to herself, and couldn't believe that she had once put on her own body, and compared to her current body, it was simply a baby's clothes. She remembered that at that time, she was only twelve years old. The twelve-year-old self seems to be a very distant thing in retrospect, but in fact, there were only nine years in between. She fiddled with the clothes, noticing the stitches on them, which her mother had rolled with a Butterfly sewing machine. She seemed to hear the brisk clatter of the sewing machine. The sound sometimes became rough, and Dad took a green oil pot and fed the machine with oil, and the thin spout chicken of the oil pot pecked at various parts of the machine, and after clicking, the sound was brisk, clattering, and singing. It's a pity that these clothes are so old and ugly, who wants them? No one will want to wear them, and no one will like them with their red and green patterns. Except, of course, for the villagers. I remember one time, when I went to a water conservancy site to perform, the girl from the landlord's house didn't even have pants, so she had to sit under the covers all day. The quilt is a cotton cover like a fishing net with no lining and no face. So, she found a piece of paper, wrapped the clothes, and wrote on the paper package: Please send it to the children of the poor middle peasants, and then put it in the corner of the box. Then I sorted it out, and the most fashionable military civilian clothes and fat-legged pants at that time were still there, half-old and not new. The waist is very thin, and she can't put it on anymore. These can be given to my sister to wear. My sister is only two years younger than her, and she is already working after graduating from high school. Collect money in the butcher shop and issue invoices. Although these clothes are not in fashion, the costumes in the troupe are always thought to lead the new trend of clothing. My sister was so red at the time. She also wrapped it in paper, and wrote on the bag: To my dear sister. I don't know why, I want to add the word "dear" in front of the word "sister", which can't help but make her sour. The younger sister can never be considered "dear" to her. Once, when her sister came to see her, she happened to miss her, so the female companion in the same room took on the responsibility of entertaining her sister, and used the lunch ticket box that her sister had placed on the windowsill to buy her the best food every day. When she came back from home five days later, the lunch ticket box was empty, she scolded her sister, and her sister left that night. Because she works early and has a special status at home, she has long since stopped taking her sister seriously. She put the paper bag in the box and continued to sort it out. She saw her most beloved rust-red coat, which had been brought from the provincial capital, and was of the right fit for her current size, with a low collar of a suit that, though long outdated in the big places outside, was fashionable in this place. How many girls envy this dress, slander her, and ask her to let it! No matter how she doesn't let it, she is not willing to let it. She was reluctant to give this dress to anyone, so she decided to keep it for herself, and paired it with that well-fitting pair of black three-in-one pants and T-shaped leather shoes. This is her most modern and cherished set, and after wearing it, the whole person has changed. One by one, she sorted things out, each one strangely evoking memories. She never thought that she had so many memories, a little proud, but a little sour and sad. She suddenly didn't want to die, not that she never wanted to die, but today, she didn't want to die a little, tomorrow! She locked the box and thought at the same time, there were still a lot of food stamps and money that had not been disposed of, and she had to send them home. The food stamps are more than 100 catties. She didn't go to get the food stamps for three months, but when she did, the accountant said, "Give you the one that can be used throughout the country." So she had more than 100 catties of national food stamps. She didn't know that food stamps could be sent by special registered mail, so she was afraid of losing them, so she kept them by her side, planning to take them home next time. But she couldn't wait, she sighed, and stuffed the box under the bed to smooth the sheets. The sheets, the mattress, and the quilt had to be explained, and they had to be dismantled and washed, and she had not washed them for months, and she finally smelled the unpleasant smell on them. She found that there were a lot of things, so she was relieved, anyway, she couldn't die today. After dinner, I thought that I should first go to observe the place of death and see the environment, so I washed the dishes and chopsticks, asked the female companion in the same room to take it back to the dormitory, and went alone.

The location she chose was by the river.

She walked along the slightly sloping road, saw the dock, and saw the box office of the red tiles. The road leads down the river bank and steepens. She couldn't stop her steps, and trotted too fast, almost running into the water, and quickly stopped her feet, when the high-pitched trumpet of the sailor sounded steeply. This time, for some reason, the sailor sang surprisingly high-pitched, which made people listen to it, and their souls trembled. She couldn't help but stop, and the trumpet of the sailor became more and more agitated, and as if shouting, she straightened her throat and made a hoarse sound. She suddenly thought, if it comes to tomorrow, when she is officially going to die, this number is also called like this, how can she die with peace of mind. So she walked along the riverbank, and she was about to come to a place where the sound of the trumpet could not be heard.

The troupe's meal was early, and at this moment, the sun had just set at the bottom, and the river was splendid. She walked along the golden river, and the twilight was thickening, covering the turbulent river and her figure, but the song of the trumpet still echoed for a long time in the vast twilight. She couldn't get out, the trumpet followed her, but she stubbornly walked forward.

At this moment, he was wandering anxiously in the old place. She never missed the appointment, and besides, it didn't matter about "dating", it was caused by the nature of two people. He didn't understand what had happened to her, and when the moon rose, he ran to another place that he frequented, and perhaps she would be there. There was no one there, and the wind blew through the grass, and he hurried to the third place...... He's not going to die. Because he had a more complex mind than her, a little more wisdom and reason than her, he understood what a terrible thing death was. He would rather live than die well. He ran alone in the wind, from one place to another, and finally thought of the riverbank, which was the bank here, but the bank of the willow branches in the upper reaches of the river. He ran hopelessly towards the riverbank, but when he reached the riverbank, she was gone. No matter how she ran forward, she couldn't run out of the suddenly high-pitched and soft trumpet sound, so she went back angrily. They crossed arms. It was the first time they had crossed arms, the first time they had missed. He didn't know if it was a miss, but he couldn't find her again, she had always waited in his anticipation, catering to his direction, but this time he couldn't, he knew that there must be an important reason, but he didn't understand what the reason was. A premonition enveloped him, he didn't know whether it was evil or lucky, just a little scared, a little empty, a little discouraged and dazed. The sound of the trumpet had fallen silent, except for the gentle lapping of the river's banks.

By this time, she was already asleep. She hadn't slept so peacefully and cleanly in a long time. There is no distraction from dreams. When she opened her eyes, although it was still early and only bright, she felt very fresh and uplifted. It was warm, dry, and smooth, and I felt the slippery texture of the quilt and sheets. She thought that there were so many things on this day, that she could not lie down any longer, so she turned over and got up, so she dismantled the quilt and bed sheets. The sheets inside the quilt were all black. When I felt it in my hand, it was thick and soft, as if it had been greased. Transparent well water crashed against them. She rubbed them with her hands, letting the water soak through. The hands were indescribably refreshing in the cold water. Then she began to rub the soap, rubbed half a bar of soap, scalded it with boiling water, and easily lathered it on the washboard. The foam warmed her hands, and she pushed briskly up and down the washboard, pushing out the sound of sizzling. That's good! She suddenly felt a little happy in her heart. While he was washing, he came with a basin, his face gloomy, and asked her in a low voice what happened last night. She replied: Stomach ache, rolling in pain. He believed it, but he didn't believe it very much. And then she asked, "Are you coming tonight?" Anyway, she thought, today she is going to die, and she can be irresponsible for any lie. He didn't believe it either, peeking at her, and her face was calm. This calm made him a little uneasy, and it was difficult to ask any further, because the old janitor had come to poke the tea-stove. She happily rubbed the quilt, snow-white foam splashed everywhere, and some bubbles flew out. The bubbles reflect the rising sun, and the red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple fly beautifully. She hummed a song. Her voice is extremely thick, but not dumb, and she listens a lot, and it is a little mellow. She hummed and rubbed the sheets, which were buried in a basin of snow-white foam. She rolled up her sleeves high, and a pair of sturdy dark arms were stuck in the foam, feeling indescribably cool and warm. She felt the strength in her arms. The large pile of sheets was rubbed by her like a handkerchief, and she didn't feel any effort. When the rubbing was finished, the sheets and quilts became unexpectedly white. After she had cleared it, she dried it and dried it, the sun had risen, and the fresh sunlight shone on the white sheets, casting her figure on it. She saw herself, stretching her arms flat on the sheets. "Is this me?" she said to herself, looking at her figure as if she were a little strange, and then picked up the basin and ran away. She suddenly wanted to take a good bath.

She fetched a lot of water, a washbasin, a footbasin, and a plastic bucket, moved into the small bathroom in the same way, and closed the door. It was pitch black in the room, and only the clear water was shining, shining in circles and circles, like three deep wells, surrounding her. She buried her hands in the basin, the hot water soaked her hair, soaked her greasy and dirty scalp, and her scalp itched like pins and needles, but it was indescribably comfortable, and she couldn't stop shivering. She dragged the water with a towel and splashed it on her body, and where it hit, it hurt like a pinprick, as if she had woken up after a long period of numbness. The skin around his body woke up one by one, opened his pores, swallowed hot water vapor, and the dirt in his body flowed out. She felt relieved. She rubbed soap over and over again, making a richer and whiter lather over and over again. The skin becomes thin, soft and delicate after scrubbing over and over again. When she dried herself, got dressed, and pushed open the wooden door, the sun of the near afternoon stung her eyes all at once, and she couldn't help but squint. At this time, she didn't want to die again. She felt very comfortable, and she couldn't remember ever being so comfortable. So, she decided to postpone it for another day.

The quilt sheet was fluffy and crisp by the sun, and there was a smell of sunshine. She slept cleanly in the dry and clean quilt, thinking to herself, this day was the right one, and then she fell asleep with peace of mind. When she slept soundly, he was running back and forth to find her in those old places, full of premonitions of bad luck, very flustered, but unbearable. He gritted his teeth and thought that once he found her, he would tear her into pieces and pound her into powder. He vaguely realized that she had betrayed him, betrayed their tacit understanding. I was even angrier in my heart. This betrayal has a sense of escape, as if to abandon him alone in this bottomless abyss of suffering, and to escape himself. How could she be so ruthless, how could she leave him alone, struggling hopelessly in this abyss, without even a little to climb. He walked frantically through the knee-high grass, stepping on the dead branches on the ground, which punctured his ankles and bled blood, and he calmed down a little, and sat down dejectedly, holding his head in both hands. A worm climbed up his feet and up his thighs, and he didn't even notice it. The worm simply sang on his lap.

On this day, she was bound to die, she thought. She couldn't stand it anymore, and there was no reason to go on. Because she was going to die, she could lie to him with an angry face so calmly, and she could happily eat with everyone, laugh together, and even have a sense of equality. Because she was about to die, all the burdens of her heart were lifted. She never thought that deciding to die would make her so happy. She had made the right decision, she thought. Because of this ease and happiness, she was reluctant to die, and relied on it day by day to prolong this enjoyment. Take a shower every day and clean up after yourself. Because I was afraid of getting myself dirty, I consciously suppressed my desire for such things. However, I was always a little ashamed and deceived someone.

On this day, she was finally going to die. In the evening, she walked alone to the riverbank, the riverbank was quiet, the steamer had already sailed, the box office with the red tile roof was closed, and everyone was gone. The sailors all rested and stopped singing. She walked along the river bank for a while, then stopped. There was no moon, no stars, and the river was black and undulating, like a giant beast gasping for breath slowly. She was suddenly frightened and shuddered. At this moment, the moon jumped steeply out of the clouds, and the trumpet of the sailor rose from the ground, incomparably excited. She shuddered uncontrollably, and her heart was terrified. Only then did she understand that death is not a simple thing, death is not simple, this death can no longer live, this walk can not come again, she cried. One by one, large tears rolled down her cheeks, but the trumpet of the sailor was tactful, subdued, and echoed above the swarthy river. The moon shone on everything, and the willow trees on the other side of the river showed the shadow of the mother-in-law. Does it have to be dead?

She asked herself. Do you have to die?

She asked herself crying. Is it okay not to die? That's good! She felt so desperate that she cried in despair.

Isn't it okay not to die? It must be good in the future, An An's share, she begged herself. I didn't get any answer, so I had to cry mournfully.

At this time, in another place, in the weedy where they often met, he was crying alone. He finally understood thoroughly that she had deceived herself, that she had left herself, and how could she leave herself? He was so weak, so pitiful, he wept so much that he rolled on the ground, and the stones and dead branches hurt him, and he didn't feel it, and he cried miserably. He didn't understand how the days to come would continue, life was like an endless long night, and he couldn't see the dawn of dawn. How could she be so ruthless and unrighteous? They were supposed to suffer together, they had to suffer together, and what could they do but suffer?

She wept on the bank of the river and sat on the edge of the river, with her hands on her knees and her head buried in her knees. The trumpet of the sailor was high and low, like calling for a lost child. The moon will disappear among the clouds for a while, and then it will appear, as if it is illuminating the lost way home.

He buried his head in the deep weeds and buried himself deep in the dark weeds. He wept in the darkness where he could not see his fingers, and wept for the lonely and miserable days that followed.

She slipped into the courtyard like a thief, into her room, and she was ashamed that she should not have returned. But his stomach was hungry and he made a loud purr. She had to go and eat the half of the bun left over from dinner, and chew it embarrassedly. She felt sorry for her life, as if it had been stolen. The steamed bun chewed out the sweetness, and her stomach was quiet, and she quietly went to bed, thinking that tomorrow it would be dawn, but how could she see people! But tomorrow at dawn, people were the same as in the past, no different from her, which surprised and grateful, and on this day she was extremely diligent, helping the housekeeper to bring boiling water, and also helping the old man sweep the yard, and the tea stove was opened, and she also trotted to get the "boiling water" sign and hung it on the tea stove. The day passed without incident, and when she began to feel at ease, she met him at the door of the room. She was so shocked that the porridge in her hand spilled out. He lay in the dormitory all day, and she didn't see him for a day, and she didn't think of him for a day. At this moment, she realized that this was the most unexplainable thing. He looked at her gloomily and asked her what was the matter, and she stammered and said that her stomach hurt, and he said, "I make you feel bad!" flew up and kicked her in the lower abdomen, and she bent down and fell to the ground with the bowl in her hand. But she didn't say anything, she thought she deserved to be beaten, and she wanted to die but didn't. The men roared around him, grabbed him, and grabbed her. Unexpectedly, she didn't mean to fight back, she didn't even reply to her mouth, but quickly picked up her bowl and ran away. He struggled aimlessly under the pull of everyone, swearing some swear words that no one could understand.

She ran up the stairs, ran into her room, and threw herself on the bed, shouting in her heart: I won't do it anymore, I won't do it anyway, I won't do anything like that again, if you can tell me to stop doing it, let me do anything! There was a slight pain in her lower abdomen, and the pain was slowly wriggling like a living thing, tickling and teasing her. She felt a sudden tread as she found that the lust in her body had reared its head, and that lust had risen with her decision not to die. She was very restless that night, and she knew that he must be waiting for her in that old place. She almost ran away, and her heart was in a commotion, and her body was like malaria, a burst of cold, a burst of heat. She's terrible, she's terminally ill. You can't go, you can't go!" she warned herself loudly in her heart. "Last time, he's so pitiful!" said the other will, she knew that pity him was fake, pity herself was true, and she had already seen through it, but she couldn't destroy this weak and strong will. However, she knew that this trip would never end again. At this time, she suddenly became very reasonable, as if she knew everything about right and wrong, good and evil in the world. She grew up in the war of two wills within her. This night, she finally didn't go, but she was very impulsive. So I persuaded myself not to go because I comforted myself: Let's go again tomorrow night.

Tomorrow all day will be full of fear and restlessness, and the desires of the heart will be more active and stronger, and I will be very hungry and thirsty because of the unsatisfied days of these days. In the evening, she couldn't bear it any longer, and ran to the place, but there was no sign of him. She ran to the second place, but there was still no one, and the third place, the fourth place, all failed. She stamped her feet again and again, looking back in trepidation. He had been completely disappointed with her the night before and no longer came to wait. Once again, they missed their arms. This is the second time that I have missed an arm. This miss doomed them to be separated. She walked back to the troupe in a panic, the lights were on in the practice room, the piano was tinkling, there was laughter, and there was singing. She shuddered suddenly: fortunately he wasn't there, what a fluke! She was frightened by what she had just done, and her heart was full of fear and happiness. He was not there, it was like the protection of the gods.

The flowing water in the river suddenly became clean again, the diarrhea gradually stopped, and the smell of feces all over the street dissipated day by day, revealing the fragrance of acacia flowers. Summer has arrived, and this summer, the heat is very moderate, the sun is pouring down, and the grass and trees are growing extremely green. In the vegetable fields on the outskirts of the city, the vegetables grow exceptionally fat and pleasant. A hundred tape recorders have been added to the city, and the singers of Hong Kong, Taiwan, and mainland China are played every day, and it is not known whether pop songs have promoted tape recorders, or whether tape recorders have promoted pop songs. When the new store opens, there is a recording cheering at the door, and it is irrelevant to sing about the impermanence of love. There are recordings in the funeral and funeral processions, and the songs are also about love. Pop songs can't escape the theme of love, just as popular life can't escape the theme of love. The town lost its tranquility in the eulogy of love and became noisy. The steamer still docked twice a day, bringing in some strange things, such as tape recorders and Teresa Teng, and for example, the long-lost half black and half white dominoes. At the same time, it also brought some strange things, for example, during the Double Ninth Festival, a basket of two baskets of two-pincer and eight-legged crabs, and for example, the silent couple in the county is said to have gone to the other side of the earth, white here, black there, black here, white there, with some blonde and blue-eyed people. Even, when the "cat" floats through here, it has to leave something behind, such as a small pocket covered by a woman's milk, a fist-sized trousers, for example, an umbrella that can be folded into three pieces and opened open. The "cats" are all wide and wear shiny watches on their wrists.

Their business wasn't over yet, and he swore he couldn't let her go so easily. She also felt that it was not a matter of being let go of her like this, but she was a little worried. It's her body that doesn't get angry. Her body turned away from her soul, and she longed for contact with his body, rubbing, even if it was abused to death. And she was almost compromised, and what made her uncompromising was his gloomy and sinister gaze. She knew that he would not come to satisfy her, and he seemed to know that she was suffering, that she would have something to ask of him, so he was extraordinarily arrogant. Although he was also suffering, dreaming of having sex with this woman every night, he was determined to take revenge on her, and he would never make her happy. The souls of the two men stood up and stood in front of the flesh to fight.

She was the first to provoke this incident, and she almost regretted it a little, and the scene of messing with this man often appeared in her dreams. She doesn't understand, is it so good, or that good, the hunger and thirst of the body is really unbearable, it appears periodically, every time the ** comes, it tortures her as if she has a serious illness, and every time it passes, it makes her breathe a sigh of relief and accumulate energy to wait for the next ** to come. She was gradually losing weight, and at this time, she didn't care about the benefits of emaciation, and she was a little more delicate. Her attention was all about overcoming her physical desires. At that time, how she longed to see him, and if he had the slightest hint, she would go to him desperately. However, he did not even look at her, he knew that this longing was as strong for him as it was for her, and he was now so patient that he would recall her completely, and not have the slightest thought of departing from morality. He longed for this woman so much, and he knew what kind of strong caress her muscular body needed. He expected her to fall at his feet, and his afterglow saw her emaciation and emaciation, and he couldn't help but rejoice in his heart. His determination to punish her was so strong that he suppressed his physical desires.

Now, she is holding on weakly in the face of his revenge, and if it weren't for his punishment, her persistence would have collapsed, and she would have been reborn. However, such persistence was too hard and too dangerous, and she was afraid that she would not be able to endure it at any time, so she ran to him, hugged his legs, and would not let go no matter how she kicked him. She went to the riverbank twice, but death was so terrible, and the desire to live was so strong, and the song of the sailor lingered in her ears, and she walked back again.

They were at such a stalemate, and she thought that he was really annoyed, but he couldn't imagine how she could be so stubborn. He couldn't help but weaken, and this weakness, the fiery desire rose, so blazing and surging, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't suppress it. He began to watch her movements closely, looking for an opportunity to catch her anyway. That night, when he saw her alone out of the courtyard, he followed her from a distance.

She walked through the middle of the gravel road and walked onto the road leading to the riverbank, which was illuminated by the moonlight, and the road sloped gently. She walked down the embankment, to the riverbank, and then walked further along the riverbank. Only then did he step up his pace, and gradually approached her. She didn't notice it, but slowed down and finally stopped. At this point, he pounced. She was taken aback, and then struggled vigorously. Though this was what she longed for, though it was tormented by this longing that led her to the bank alone, though it was now the weakest time of her will, yet as soon as she came into contact with his body, she was truly terrified, and she knew that it had been in vain. She seemed to be standing on the edge of a cliff, and saw white clouds floating under her feet, and she knew that beneath them was an unfathomable valley. She's really struggling. But he had completely lost his mind, and he was like a beast, determined to fight to the death. Gradually, she exhausted all her strength, and resisted in vain, because her body had been lonely for a long time, because her thirst had ceased to exist, because her resistance was sincere and hard, because this moment was unprepared and unexpected in her body and mind, and a great pleasure filled her whole body, and she had never received such pleasure. This happiness made her feel that everything was nothing before, and that she would die without regrets after that. The joy permeated every corner of her body, and it seemed to take on an eternal meaning, like a successful farewell ceremony. Even he felt abnormal, and rolled over and lay on the ground, lying side by side with her, looking at the stars of the day. At this time, the trumpet of the sailor rose from the smoke-shrouded river. It seems that a hundred sailors are singing like one person, strong and powerful, but simple and neat. They lay side by side, a feeling they had never experienced before, they all felt that something was strange, very different from usual, a powerful premonition enveloped them.

In the days that followed, she always felt very strange. She began to want to eat sour, but the meat she had always loved made her gag, she vomited a few times, dizzy a few times, and then it was fine. The tide that had been working even on the worst of days had now stopped, and the unquiet desire that had risen and flowed in tandem with the turnover had subsided. She felt a part of her body getting heavier and heavier, but at the same time she felt extremely light, as if she had been relieved of a long-term load. She finally understands that she is going to be a mother.

She wrapped the cloth strap tightly around her abdomen so that the flaws would not be exposed. She didn't even have the slightest common sense, thinking that this would be her way to be eliminated. But she loved the life in her womb so much that she was so curious that at night, she loosened the straps in the bed, stroked her belly, and seemed to touch the soft body of life. Now, she was very calm, cool as water, and the flame seemed to be absorbed and extinguished by this little life. At this time, she was even more afraid of him. She was afraid that he would kill the life. She thought that his rough ravaging would ruin this life. So she didn't dare to go alone, she didn't dare to go anywhere, she always stayed in the dormitory, she didn't think about what she would do in the future, she didn't even think that this life would one day burst out, what would others think?

Later, the abdomen became more and more bulging. He was the first to find out, so he stared at him firmly, looking for an opportunity to ask. On this day, during the lunch break, she went downstairs to the toilet and met him in the yard. He squatted at the door of the practice room, waiting like a rabbit, he asked her: "...... your belly?" He hurriedly turned around and went back to his dormitory. She was afraid that he would hurt this stomach, and she would not allow anyone to hurt this stomach. Then, there was some discussion, and the leader finally talked to her. She first denied it, and then admitted it when she couldn't deny it anymore, but she didn't say who she was with, only said that it was her own, which was naturally ridiculous. The leader said his name, which was all visible to everyone, but she shook her head in horror: "No, no, no, no, it's mine, it's mine." As she spoke, she began to cry, crying very sadly, the leader asked her to go for surgery, but she didn't want to die, so she knelt on the ground and begged for mercy. The leader threatened to fire her, but she said that you would do whatever you wanted, but she would not cry.

At this time, he hid in the dusty props room next door to his office, lying on the wall, close to his ears, and half a broken cobwebs hanging from his head. Their conversation could be heard through the cracks in the bricks that had fallen off the lime. He knew he was in trouble, they were in trouble! What kind of trouble was this! He slipped down the wall, slid to the ground, and curled up in a ball. He never doubted that their sins would one day be punished. But in fact, he had no preparation for this day, and he had no imagination. Now, well, the punishment is coming. Their desires have borne fruit, and they have unintentionally sown the seeds of life. What was this life going on, what did it mean, what was going to happen to them? He was so scared. In his eyes, the unexpected life became a huge dangerous chasm, completely separating him from her. He thought they were isolated from this life, but he didn't think that it was the closest connection. Her cries leaked through the cracks in the wall, piercing his heart. He couldn't help but burst into tears, filled with desperate pity, for her, for him, for everything between them, he knew that it had finally come to an end.

The child was born at the dawn of an autumn. The whole group went to the hospital, and he was the only one left, sitting in the middle of the dark, empty practice room, the hard floor like a dry desert. He clasped his legs in his hands, his head hung between his knees, and all the silence was so silent that even the sound of insects had been extinguished, and he became sluggish, unable to use his mind, unable to comprehend what was going to happen, and not understanding what was going to happen! The life that happened to her could not give him a little enlightenment, the fresh blood of life could not communicate with him, he could not feel the germination and maturity of life, and he could not feel the unshirkable responsibility and love entrusted by life. In fact, half of that life is his, however, he still needs to explore beyond the flesh, and the education given by life is shallow. Moreover, he was seized by his own pain, and without a little help, he could not move. From this moment on, he was surpassed by her.

She lay in blood, unable to make a sound in pain. The child was born in blood, and there were two, a man and a woman.

Hearing the child's cries one after another, no one could bear to expel her, only gave her a major demerit, and then arranged for her to go to the door. Just a few days before the child was born, the old man went to the tea stove, and when he was halfway there, he collapsed in the middle of the courtyard, and when the others found that he was out of gas. The diagnosis is cerebral hemorrhage.

She lives alone with two children in the communication room. It is very difficult to send and receive newspapers and letters, burn the tea stove, and make phone calls every day, but with a meager salary, you have to support three people. Kind-hearted and troublesome people persuaded her to give away a child, but she refused to agree. Because she heard that a pair cannot be separated, they must be raised together, especially a man and a woman, they cannot be separated, and if they are separated, they will not be able to live. Although the days were difficult, she was very happy, and her heart was as clear as a pool of clear water, and she had never had such a clear and clear state of mind. The flame that had tormented her for so many years was finally extinguished, and in the raging burning of desire, she actually survived. She thought it was the help of the two children, that she was very grateful and loving to them, that she had wholeheartedly protected them from harm, and that she had always strangely thought that they were in danger, and that he was the greatest danger. She wouldn't let him look at them, she was afraid that he would strangle them like pinching her, and she denied their connection to him, but he was only a little curious about them, and even a little afraid. And as if they were trying to hold on to him, the longer they grew more and more like him. The forehead, the nose, the mouth, all the people saw that they were similar to him, and he could no longer escape the trap of this bloodline. He could only catch a glimpse from afar, hurriedly, and she always avoided him, and fled in a hurry when she saw him. This glimpse alone was enough to grasp the impression, and he was surprised and frightened that the child was going to hunt him down with his own soul, and he had to flee. He couldn't afford the fact that he had children. No, no, he didn't, he was unprepared, he couldn't understand the meaning of it, and therefore he was destined not to be delivered, and he was destined to continue to burn with that flame. Since her escape had to be borne by him alone, the burning became even more violent, and he tried every means to vent the magma-like heat in his body.

In the beginning, he gambled. At the poker table, there is no more restless than him. His eyes were red, his fingers were spasming, and his feet were shaking violently under the table, shaking the whole table. He won a lot, he exported a lot, he lost everything he had won, he lost Ben, he sold his watch, and he was in debt. Then I want to get married. The people in the small town below gave him a daughter-in-law in the town, and three months later, the two became married. The days after marriage are very unpleasant, every time my wife comes to visit relatives, she has to go back if she doesn't live well. When others asked her what she was anxious about, she shed tears, saying that she couldn't stand it, what could she not stand it, but she couldn't say it, wiped her tears and left. He didn't hold back, and smiled gloomily. Gong is no longer practicing, but drinking, drunk. Then he got nephritis, and after he was cured, the troupe couldn't keep him anymore, and assigned him to a department store to guard the counter. He was embarrassed by the dignified man guarding the counter, so he went back to his hometown in a fit of anger, and his wife found a job for him to issue an invoice to collect money in the town's grain management office. On the day he left, a group of people saw him off, walked through the communication room, she was holding a child in one hand, standing at the door, watching the child on the street playing with Fang Bao, unexpectedly did not dodge, but looked at him. He also looked at her steadily, and walked over.

At this time, they were all big people, he was twenty-eight, and she was twenty-four. There were enthusiastic people who wanted to tell her a man, and she didn't object to it, a person is too lonely. But no one wants to, she is a well-known woman in the city, she has broken shoes, and she has two private children, and even her father doesn't know which one, and she has to spit on the ground three times to get rid of bad luck and dirtiness. And in fact, after being washed by erotic rage, she is cleaner and purer than ever. But no one can understand this, not even herself, she just blindly inferiority. No one wants to marry her, and she doesn't resent her, she just takes two children and lives diligently.

The years are like flowing water, flowing slowly, and the flowing water is like years, gradually passing. The song of the water guest became thin day by day, and a water tower was built in the city, which directly brought the water over, and there was no livelihood for the water guest, so the song fell silent, and no one heard it again, and no one remembered it. It's just that on the days when the troupe set off, she guarded the empty courtyard alone with her two children, and when she fell asleep, in her deep and calm dreams, she faintly sounded the singing that was suddenly high-pitched and low-pitched. As the child grows up day by day, he will call "Mommy", call him "Mommy" loudly, and like to play on the faded red lacquered floor of the practice room. The floor was vast in their eyes, surrounded by mirrors, and when they stood in the middle, they fled in fear, but they could not suppress their curiosity, and walked back slowly, holding hands, standing still and watching. She leaned against the door frame and waited for the water to boil in the tea stove, holding the wooden sign with the word "boiling water" written on it, and watched her child roll on the ground, smiling wistfully.

"Mommy!" cried the child.

"Hey. She replied. It was the sound that would wake her up from any slumber.

"Mommy!" the child cried again.

"Ahh

"Mommy!" the child cried out in a playful voice, echoing in the empty practice room. It was like a voice from the heavens, which made her feel a kind of broad and sacred, and she couldn't help but be solemn.