Text: Volume 1 "Cold Love"

I finally put up a sign in the mental health counseling room, in the old commercial and residential building near Fangcao Primary School in Haicheng, the old building that may be demolished at any time, mottled and dull, and the prosperity of Haicheng International City is conspicuously opposed, fortunately, the agent gave customers a great discount for the deadline rental profit, so it is still bustling, and sometimes the lights are bright at night, after moving in, I don't feel the darkness of the day.

After a year of treatment and study, I developed the habit of looking out of the window at night, and although I was only on the third floor, I could see the stars twinkling, the lights were dazzling, and the crowd was like a shadow.

In the small bedroom of ten square meters in the window, the old bed is broken and the chair is broken, and it is just made up of a three-piece kennel set, plus a rice cooker and induction cooker, and the miscellaneous daily necessities are placed on the low table, which is really sour.

The outside office area is okay, there are 289 square meters, there are bookshelves full of psychological books, a simple white desk in front of the bookshelf, a computer, a blank photo frame, books, pens, paper and newspapers, teacups, ashtrays, business card boxes, just neat but messy.

In front of the desk, there is a sofa with the same simple white dark pattern, the coffee table is in the middle, and a small fish tank with green plants is placed on it, and a few apples and oranges are placed on the plate as a fresh air. There are some psychology magazines on the lower level of the coffee table, because the hospitality area is tidy and comfortable.

Promotional copywriting and portraits of several well-known domestic and foreign psychologists are hung on the surrounding walls. The greenery around the sofa extends to the door, and the bathroom next to the door is also small and exquisite, clean and refreshing.

At about ten o'clock in the morning of the next day, the leaflet made by someone had been found to go out and distribute, and the leaflet read: It is urgent to pay attention to the mental health of adolescents and children, eliminate the hidden dangers of the mental health of adolescents and children, paste some cases and explanations of children's psychological problems, and publicize a famous psychological counselor XX, whose address is Yunyun, and then, open the door, make tea, smoke and read the newspaper, thinking about whether anyone will come for a while and a half, and the slippers have not been changed.

I had just finished reading in detail all the reports of a primary school student jumping to his death a few days ago, when footsteps came from the door, and I vaguely saw a young woman stopping at the door for two seconds, turning around and leaving.

I hurriedly kicked up my slippers and chased after him, and said earnestly: "This lady, please stay, please stay, how can there be a reason not to come in and consult at the door, besides, if you are not satisfied with the consultation, there is no charge." ”

The woman was stunned for a few seconds, then turned around and raised the flyer in her hand and said, "Your place is so remote, it's messy, it doesn't look very formal, and your image is for psychological counseling." ”

As soon as she turned around, I was stunned for a moment, what a girl with clear eyebrows and beautiful eyes, warm and delicate, she has a very well-proportioned medium figure, shoulder-length hair, fair complexion, thin eyebrows, round eyes, small pout, stubborn little goose egg chin, although she is wearing a pink casual suit that was popular last year, and she is wearing gray white casual shoes, she can't hide her youthful and beautiful demeanor, she really looks like Hong Kong star Zhou Huimin.

I looked at myself again, and found that the white shirt was crooked, the cuffs were rolled up to the arms, and the black trousers were quite flat, but with big slippers, slightly curly hair, and a scruffy beard, it was really not very reliable.

I smiled awkwardly and said, "I'm sorry, I just opened today, I didn't expect customers to come so soon, I'm really sorry." ”

"Don't be afraid, come and sit down first, after all, children's psychological problems are urgent, and it is good to have one more solution. I leaned over and raised my hand slightly.

The girl hesitated for a moment, then looked at the position where I got out of the way, and found that everything was neat except for the desk and people, and walked in.

I beckoned her to sit down, took the juice from the fridge and put it next to her, and said, "Let's have some juice first, I'll go in and change my shoes." ”

By the time I put on professional suits such as suits and ties, brooch cufflinks, and shiny leather shoes, my image had changed greatly, and sure enough, I hid my eyes behind my glasses, and my hair was combed and styled with a stubble was a steady vicissitudes, although it was obvious that the other party was only concentrating on the mobile phone.

I sat down across from her and said softly, "Teacher, we can start, I'll talk to you, and if you have any questions, feel free to interrupt and ask me." ”

The girl put down her phone in surprise and looked at me.

"You are a teacher, a teacher at Fangcao Primary School, about 26 years old, a local, unmarried, kind and gentle, warm-hearted, simple and easy-going, sympathetic and responsible, these should follow your father's personality, some of the anxious temperament, should be your mother's masterpiece. ”

The girl blushed, and hurriedly stretched out her hand to pause, saying, "Hey, stop, are you a psychological counselor or a fortune teller, just like you have investigated me, you explain first." ”

"In fact, psychology and fortune-telling are the same in nature, they are through the observation of the external understanding of the person's heart, and then change the outside after understanding the heart, psychology is a modern social discipline, fortune-telling is a remnant of feudal superstition, the times are different, the characters are different, the purpose is different, one treats the disease and saves people, and one eats with mixed food, although in the end they are all eating, but the eating phase is different, and the results are also different. ”

"What you do is a big truth of broken thoughts, please talk about the point. The girl's guard dropped a little, and she began to become active.

"Don't worry, there is only one verbosity, because we just met, we don't know each other, so some things are not afraid of details, and after we cooperate, we understand each other enough, to ensure that we speak incisively, to the point, as the so-called..." Suddenly, I felt a sharp gaze fly over me with the chalk head and blackboard eraser that I had in my mind, and I immediately changed my words and said, "Okay, I was wrong, I'm sorry." "I thought that the teacher's occupational disease was really only allowed to talk about himself, and he didn't like others to talk about it.

However, this is the best psychological counseling model, the more real the personality, the more profound the understanding of the personality!

"I have made marks on the leaflets sent out, three places, the school gate, the entrance of the community, the bus and subway intersection, the school gate is A, most people are used to the right hand, so the mark is in the lower left corner of the leaflet, not conspicuous, you can see it when you shake, and this time period the school is in class, and it is not to the end of school, so it is not a parent, what kind of person decided to come to me when he saw the leaflet, and it took less than half an hour from sending out the flyer to walking here, oh, it was quite fast, the answer can only be the teacher, this sacred and missionary profession, to teach children as their own responsibility, to protect children as their responsibility。 ”

"Let's talk about your character, you can always put the teacher's responsibility in your heart and take action, I can think of 10,000 adjectives of praise, pick a few that suit you, your accent represents that you are a local, as for the unmarried, no ring on your hand, no ear piercing, this is basically impossible in a city like Haicheng, and everyone's first teacher in life is parents, most of the women in Haicheng are stronger, like to compare, calculate, men are mostly gentle and patient, your acute child is reflected in the leaflet immediately decided to come, to the door only glanced at it and then intended to give up, I greeted you and came in again, this is a typical acute child, I think it is very possible, Your mother is a northerner, straightforward and soft-hearted, and your father is gentle and generous, educated and enduring, only such a family member match can cultivate this mixed benign character of yours, the only thing that needs to be improved is that you are easily dominated by the first sense, and you may suffer some hardships after being hot-headed. ”

"Okay, you are quite knowledgeable and honest, my name is Lin Aiwei, a teacher at Fangcao Primary School, a 3 (4) class teacher, what about you, your surname. ”

"Hello Mr. Lin, I'm Lincoln, and I just got my license as a psychological counselor not long ago, so please take care of me. ”

Lin Aiwei couldn't help but point her hand at me, laughed and said, "Are you also surnamed Lin, and your name is Lincoln, this name is a bit advanced." ”

"Since we are all surnamed Lin, then we are a family, you haven't seen the other side of my boldness, tell me, how much is your consulting service. After speaking, I thought funny in my heart: Your sister, my mother's wife is really a northerner.

"I haven't thought about this yet, depending on the situation, some people charge more, some people charge less, some people don't charge, and some people may have to post a point, just be enough. ”

"Well, it's interesting, renting this studio for seven or eight thousand is actually in order to do good deeds, it seems that the head is stimulated by something. ”

"Uh", I sighed lightly with black lines on my head, "Maybe, all for the sake of the child." ”

"It's all for the sake of the children, are you here because of the impact of the student jumping off the building a few days ago? Okay, I'm very touched by this premise, my income is okay, and my family is well-off, you just say the price. ”

"Generally, it is 60 consultations once, and the specific can also be monthly and annual, which will be very affordable. ”

Lin Aiwei smiled again, raised her voice with a bold feeling, and said: "Monthly and annual subscription, you let me cover you, this, I'm afraid I can't afford it."

"Forget it, don't talk about it, how to wrap it, let's hear it. ”

"The monthly and annual subscription is within the service period, unlimited times, unlimited time periods, only if necessary, come to me at any time. I suddenly felt inappropriate, and added with an embarrassed smile: "Feel free to consult me for psychological problems, and I will give you answers and provide you with solutions." ”

"It's good, there's a personal assistant, oops, the price. ”

"Five thousand a month, is it much. ”

Lin Aiwei immediately replied: "Of course it's more, half of my income, you want to be beautiful, okay, it's so decided, one hundred a day, three months first." After Lin Aiwei finished speaking, she picked up the mobile phone and had to pay.

As soon as I heard that there was rice to collect, I hurriedly said, "Okay, I suffered some losses, but I only had receipts, no invoices." ”

Lin Aiwei smiled evilly, looked at me and shook her head and said, "It's okay, the receipt is also saved, I see that your house is rented for three months, and there is a deposit, you can't run." ”

After adding WeChat and paying the money, Lin Aiwei put away the young girl's naughtiness and seriously said the first question consulted: " Lincoln, some time ago our school students jumped off the building incident has a great impact on all teachers and students, the atmosphere in the school is weird, the key is that the child is a single-parent family, the mother is seriously ill, the father is a gambler but abandoned them, under the pressure of life so I can't think about it, alas, it's a pity, and the most important thing is that my class divorced only six single-parent families last year, this year there are nineteen, a total of forty-six children, this proportion is too high, and there is such a thing, I want to ask, how should I pay attention to the children's psychological trends, ease the living and learning atmosphere of the class, they are all eight or nine years old。 ”

"Yes, eight or nine-year-old children are the time to form their thoughts and memories, love to talk, love fantasy, like to imitate, have a strong herd mentality, it is the time when the correct guidance is needed, the current social atmosphere is so, more need for the teacher's meticulous patience, there is a long way to go. ”

In this case, the most terrible is the friction and conflict between the children of single-parent families and the children of two-parent families, a casual family comparison, a quarrel of trust and betrayal, a class role assignment and many other unknown situations, may cause children to have strong anger, low self-esteem, revenge, loss and other unfavorable factors, there are two ways to solve it, the first is that everyone is a two-parent child, the family coefficient remains the same, and the children are growing up together in a healthy and happy environment, and there will be no extreme friction. However, this is obviously not possible. Second, everyone is a divorced family, single parents or multiple relatives after remarriage, and it becomes an environment with the same family coefficient, and the identity is the same, although the values will change, but there will be no extreme friction, but this is even more impossible. ”

Lin Aiwei interrupted dissatisfiedly: "Doesn't that mean you didn't say it?" ”

"I haven't finished talking about it, although the situation is difficult, but we also have to find a way, the more difficult it is, the more meaningful it is, which requires a little wisdom, plus an understanding of children's nature, well, there is, first tell you a simple and easy way to operate. ”

Lin Aiwei couldn't help but laugh and said, "Oh, Lincoln, it turns out that you have to go around for a long time to have a way, pretending to be deep." ”

I explained with a smile and said, "No, no, marketing habits, marketing habits." ”

"That's it, you have a class meeting for students this afternoon, the theme is to give nicknames to dear students, for example, those who run fast are called foals, those who love to quarrel and quarrel are called little fried eggs, and those who love to eat are called little gluttonous cats, anyway, according to the children's personalities, everyone has a new name, don't use swear words, such as our adult social accounts, isn't it all how to style and how to start, children are the same, they need a fresh and interesting living and learning environment, then teachers should create a relaxed and happy learning environment for children, correct guidance, increase their communication, everyone has a nickname, isn't it all the same, and the direction is integrated。 ”

Lin Aiwei was dumbfounded, and said in a daze: "Is this feasible, why do I feel so naïve and brainless, can I still return the money." ”

"Don't underestimate the naivety and brainlessness, once the children's imagination explodes, it becomes magical brainwashing, and their intelligence likes and accepts the most innocent and brainless. ”

Looking at Lin Aiwei's hesitation, I pretended to sigh and said: "The way is a little stupid, it's better than no way, let's try it and then talk about it, it's a big deal I'll refund your money, you write a check to the teaching office, you know, it's urgent." ”

Lin Wei thought about it in love, and said playfully: "Okay, I was persuaded by you, try it first, oh, by the way, there is another question, how to deal with children who are naughty by nature and irritable and irritable, what kind of guidance should be given to them, there are a few children who are too skinny, not easy to control, and always annoy me." ”

"A teacher is a teacher, this adjective is really gentle and frugal," I put away my joke, pondered for a while, and said: "From the perspective of human nature, at the beginning of human beings, nature is good, how do you think this goodness can be explained?" ”

"Do you need to explain this, it has always meant kindness since ancient times. Lin Aiwei was a little disdainful, and pouted for the first time, it was really sexy, playful and charming.

"But I want to explain it differently, this good is fickle good, not good good. ”

Seeing the puzzled eyes, I added: "Man is an animal evolutionary, the survival rules of animals are bullying, the law of the jungle, cold-blooded violence, selfishness and fickleness, people will carry these natures from birth, this is innate, should be understood, and kindness and tolerance, gentleness and politeness, faithfulness, honesty, bravery, strength, and all other good qualities are acquired to have, so if a person has bad shortcomings, such as vanity, Love to tell lies, selfishness, irritability, laziness and greed for enjoyment, this should be understood and tolerated, after all, it is animal nature, but even if a person has only one advantage, he should cherish and give encouragement and guidance, amplify his advantages, and give this person the confidence to continue to learn other advantages, but this is also the current social dilemma, 4 years old to 12 years old is the most vigorous and thirsty time period for human beings to learn, this period of family environment and school education is very important, children are listening and watching, learning the most important teacher in their lives ~In the process of learning, children are easily misled by the behavior of adults, and have psychological conflicts with book knowledge and errors in the real environment, so as to stimulate animal nature to protect themselves and make rebellious and violent behaviors. If you think about it, adults can't suppress their animal nature, let alone these children of a few years old. ”

"Then how to solve it, listen to your analysis, it seems that the harmonious society is getting farther and farther away. ”

That's why I said that the task of a teacher is currently the most arduous, a teacher who is psychologically mature, intelligent and caring and responsible can help many children, and what I can do at present is to shape such a teacher. As for how to solve it, it takes an opportunity to say the right thing at the right time, enter the hearts of children, and sow the seeds of repressive animal nature in them. No matter what kind of child you are, you need to treat them equally, ignore the existing shortcomings, and look at their strengths, you will be much easier, of course, the same is true with adults. ”

Lin Aiwei pouted again and said, "This big truth, one set of things, I feel that you have become my teacher." ”

I suddenly had black lines on my head, and I thought: I have collected all the money, it is supposed to be.

"There is another problem, it is my own, I think I am a little reluctant to associate with the opposite sex, relatives and friends have introduced the object many times, talked a few times, I feel that now men are particularly unreliable, more and more resistant, and my parents are urging me to be tight, annoyed to death. ”

I laughed mischievously in my heart: yes, it's a loss of eighty.

"Thank you for your trust, from this moment on, we are friends, I know, you must have been in love, it should be after a semester of college, and it will end a few months before graduation. ”

"I'm dizzy, you're a ghost. ”

"Well, I'm not a ghost, I just know how to read minds. ”

"Mind reading, it's so mysterious, since you have received the money, you have to teach me. ”

"As long as you renew normally, you can guarantee that you will learn, but although the mind reading technique is good, it will be eaten up if you don't use it well. ”

"Okay, don't talk about it, I've only known each other for less than an hour, I accept you as a friend, answer the question first, it's my right. ”

"I know that I am cooperating with your question, and it has to be easy to talk about marriage and love, so that unpleasant things come to the surface, and there must be no feelings. ”

Lin Aiwei's teeth were a little itchy when she heard this, and said, "Every sentence is mysterious, a standard magic stick." ”

I was full of black lines, and replied helplessly: "Let's get to the point, in fact, there is really no mystery, most young men and women are like this now, the purest love is given to the wrong person, aside from the false proposition of love, in fact, it is just the psychological needs of animal instincts." ”

"All animals reach the age of maturity, estrogen secretion reaches the peak, according to physiological needs should be reproduced and passed on to the next generation, but people are more advanced, complicating simple things, packaging desire into love, so as to obtain a happy life of course, but the more developed social science and technology, the higher the quality of life, the lower the quality of people, what is lacking to pursue something, unable to suppress desire, will cause many misfortunes, single-parent family children are the most typical examples. ”

"A rational and kind person, seeing so many misfortunes, of course will be afraid, will resist, how to solve, it depends on what you need, I boldly guess, you have an ideal type of partner in your heart, the ideal prototype should be your father's careful, patient, gentle and enthusiastic, hard-working and responsible person, because you see your mother so happy, how can you not like people like your father, this is the so-called father-love plot. ”

Lin Aiwei was completely dumbfounded, and couldn't help but laugh and scold: "Monster, you are really a monster." ”

"Well, I'm not a monster, I just know how to read minds," I repeated this sentence seriously, I originally thought it had a humorous effect, but added: "The biggest side effect of mind reading is that you don't have the ability to love people, you still don't want to learn, be a good teacher, a good daughter, find a good man, and live a good life." ”

Lin Aiwei smiled self-deprecatingly and said: "I'm really speechless, my life has been said by you in two sentences, a good teacher and a good daughter are good, but how can there be so many good men." ”

This is the importance of psychology, open the dusty heart, sincerely understand yourself, use reason to assist sensibility, according to your real needs, cultivate and create your own ideal partner, this is the so-called problem to solve problems, no problem to create problems and then solve problems, the biggest charm of love is to solve one problem after another, so that two strange hearts come together. ”

"Sounds very reasonable, just like teaching students, if I can fall in love like this, then I may be really good. Lin Aiwei nodded with confidence, and added: "This money is well spent, go back and give you more publicity, and find a few more people to cover you." ”

"Then I have to thank you. I reluctantly echoed this ridicule, and when I saw Lin Aiwei, who was about to leave, she added: "Teacher Lin, let's make another little suggestion, prepare some chocolates and snacks in class in the future, and reward them when you meet well-behaved and obedient children." ”

"Got it, it's on the desk, it's almost the end of class in the morning, I'll go first, and I'll look for you on WeChat if I have something." After saying that, I put away my phone, picked up the juice and raised it, and when I turned around and was about to get to the door, I quickly folded back, and before I noticed, I had already turned around the bedroom and came out, so I had to look at the wall in embarrassment and not look at her.

Lin Aiwei passed by me and said happily like a child: "I know that there is a kennel inside." ”

With black lines on my head, I watched the pink figure disappear with joy.

Exhausted, he closed the door, lay down in the kennel in a large shape, with a thin cigarette in his mouth, his eyes glazed down the smoke, looking at the ceiling and the small lamp that flickered and dimmed.