Zhang Baotong, the source of happiness, 2018.11.2

When we think about this life, who has given us the most happiness? Yes, money can make us happy, good wine can make us happy, and loved ones can make us happy, but it is friends who give us the most happiness. Looking back on life, from childhood, adolescence, youth, middle age to old age, every era has some of our closest and most sincere friends. It is precisely because of their company and assistance that we have come to this day happily and contentedly.

Happiness is a kind of spiritual pleasure, a kind of spiritual satisfaction, a very comfortable feeling from the inside out. It can be said that it is a state of happiness and joy of people. This feeling can be gained from chatting with others, drinking, playing ball, singing, traveling, and communicating. Although we may be closer to our brothers and sisters, it is easy for problems or conflicts to arise if we are too close, so we and our relatives can only get together for a meal or meet during the holidays, but we cannot socialize too much in our daily life. But there aren't many festive times of the year, and we usually hang out with friends on a regular basis. For example, on weekends and evenings, you want to play ball, you want to play cards, you want to have two drinks together, you want to sing together for a while, and you even want to go hiking or outing together. At this time, you have to find a friend. This friend must have the same hobbies as you, be able to get along with you in harmony, and be close to your level and have similar interests.

I remember my best friend in middle school being my neighbor's son, who was one grade below me. At that time, the two of us played to the point of obsession. We get up at 5 a.m. every morning, drill barbed wire to go to school, and then go into the table tennis room through a window without a protective net, practice until 7 o'clock, and then run home for breakfast. After school, I stayed from dinner until more than 10 o'clock in the evening. At this point, the school gates were closed, and we went home together through the barbed wire. So, at that time, I was the champion of the school, and he was the runner-up of the school. We became best friends for life because we played.

Later, I went to university, and then I was assigned to teach in a middle school, and I was transferred to the railway education committee, and every time I went to a place, I would find a new golfer, or train a golfer, because my life was very regular, and at a certain time every day, I had to play, so this friend became the most indispensable companion in my daily life. If one day this friend is not there, he will not be able to play, and he will feel that something is missing in his heart, and he will be very uncomfortable.

Later, when I was transferred to the school as a secretary, I built a table tennis room in the school, gathered a group of golfers of similar level, and asked them to play every night and weekend. Later, due to the shortage of school buildings, the table tennis room was converted into a classroom, so I could only ask my golfers to play in the community activity room on weekends.

After I retired, I signed a contract with Qiqi Chinese.com, and I had to post works every day, but my habit of playing ball remained the same. There are some retired workers in our community who are also playing, but their skills are much worse than my former golfers. Because I have to play with them every day, they have become my friends and friends every day. I deliberately selected a few people who could get along with me for training, so that their skills could improve as soon as possible, plus some original golfers and people from other communities, and soon, a new team was formed. In this way, not only can we play together every afternoon, but also outsiders come to play with us every three days. Although I used to have some friends in other areas, after I retired, in addition to writing, I was playing, and my interactions with other people gradually stopped, and finally only these friends who played together remained. However, my daily life is very simple and happy, except for writing, I just want to play ball, I have no interest in anything else, I feel that it is a burden, and I don't want to socialize with too many people, because I still have to concentrate on writing.

I have to write every morning and evening, I have to sit in front of the computer for seven or eight hours a day, and if I continue to write in the afternoon, I feel very tired and annoyed. Moreover, I don't have the habit of taking a lunch break, and after sleeping for a while, I feel stuffy in my heart and a little out of breath. Therefore, if you don't play in the afternoon, you will feel very uncomfortable physically and mentally.

Playing ball has become one of the most important activities of my day, and I feel panicked when I can't play because everyone doesn't come. It shows how important friends are in my day-to-day life. Sometimes, I don't call my mother for a month, and I only see my siblings once a year. However, friends have to see each other every day, play ball and laugh together.

Friends can bring us happiness, they are the source of our happiness, and they are also what we can't do without every day. However, maintaining friendship between friends is not an easy task. Although the way of making friends will teach us many principles and methods of making friends, we cannot follow the map and find friends according to the standards. Although the way of making friends is to make good friends, we don't need good friends. Because we just want to find an opponent and a sparring partner to play with. And this opponent and sparring partner are on par with us, they can be on call and get along with us in harmony. So, for many of us, it's not easy to find such a friend.

It's not easy to make a friend, but losing a friend is inadvertent. A few days ago, when two friends were playing cards, they had a big fight because of touching cards, and they overturned the card table. One of them drank some wine beforehand, and suffered a little loss, so he took out a fruit knife and stabbed the other in the face, fortunately the man dodged in time, otherwise, the consequences would be unimaginable. The day before yesterday, a friend of my wife came to my house to bring candy and scolded another friend to my wife. Because when the friend's son got married, she sent 2,000 yuan to the family, but this time, when her son got married, the friend only returned 1,000 yuan. In daily life, there are many incidents of backlash and hatred between friends. There are two or three pairs of very close friends among our golfers who have fallen out because of a few words, so that they have not spoken after seven or eight years.

The relationship between friends is very delicate, and it is said that he is not as close as his siblings, but in fact he makes us feel more inseparable than our siblings. Let's say he's close, but he doesn't have a very close relationship with us. Therefore, when everyone is together, they are more relaxed and casual. But this kind of looseness and casualness can often be very uncomfortable. For example, some people are really blind, others are waiting next to him, but he is endless. It's like the unit is having a party, and some people just hold the microphone and don't let go, as if she is holding a solo concert. Some people are self-righteous, they have to play as soon as they come, and they have to fight with everyone one by one, and they wait in line for a long time without looking at others. Some people have played for a few years and never carry the ball, as if the ball was for him. Sometimes when people go out to participate in competitions, they need to block the car and have lunch, and you just invite it eight times out of ten, but he doesn't know whether to invite someone else once. As soon as it came to eat and block the car, people quietly hid behind. Some people are good teachers, and they have to give you guidance at every turn, which sometimes makes people feel upset. Of course, everyone has his shortcomings as well as his strengths. Some people are very self-conscious, and when they see someone from outside, they always give way to the guests first. The kettle in the activity room was broken, and some people brought their own kettle to boil water, and brought the kettle from home every day. Some people saw that the lights in the activity room were a little dim, so they bought light bulbs and found someone to install them.

Our happiness is what we get when we are with our friends, and sometimes there are some discordant noises, but most of the time we are happy. Therefore, when we make friends, we must know how to appreciate and praise others, and more importantly, we must respect and tolerate others. Accepting a friend is not only about accepting his strengths, but also about his weaknesses. We must keep the overall situation in mind, be honest with each other, be strict with ourselves, be lenient with others, don't care too much about others, and don't let ourselves go casually. Don't say things that make the other person unpleasant, and don't do things that make the other person unhappy. If everyone can do this, it is equivalent to opening a door of happiness for themselves, so that every day can be relaxed and happy.

There are many reasons to be happy. It doesn't matter if you're successful in life, if you're prominent, if you're healthy and rich, as long as you're happy, you're rich. We can see that there will be joy for beggars, people with disabilities, and losers. And a happy beggar will live more enviably than a worried rich man.

If you are happy, your face will be full of sunshine, making others feel warm and happy, so that others will be close to you and like you. If you're not happy, others will avoid you like you're running away from a contagion. When a person is unhappy, he is often in a situation of loneliness, misery and pain.

Happiness is an unexpected gain, even a life achievement. Once you realize that happiness is a responsibility and make it a habit, then you will find that the door to Paradise is opening to you, full of friends who like you and are grateful to you.