"Is this guy here to be funny?"

"I feel like... If you look at his mental outlook, you will know that he is not a serious person. ”

"Straight out?"

"Let's take a second look... What if it goes to heaven?"

The four judges decided to give Xu Mang a little time, after all, the contestants who can shout and remember a hundred digits should have a little strength, or they are extremely thick-skinned and belong to the funny contestants.

Funny contestants are not uncommon in auditions, and before that, there was one who led a dog over and said that his dog was very smart, could simply add, subtract, multiply and divide, and was the strongest dog brain.

Outcome...

I pulled a piece of shit on the field, and then I ate this piece of shit... It's really a dog that can't change eating.

Then

Xu Mang started and began his own performance.

“5843671645982...”

The speed of speech is very slow, there is no situation of fishing in troubled waters, every time Xu Mang says a number, the four judges and teachers will compare it, a set of 100 digits, a total of 100 seconds.

Come to an end

The four judges were stunned.

Whole...

All right!

Is it okay to give it to the players for free?

"Classmate Xu Mang!"

"Congratulations on your direct promotion!" the uncle said with a look of affirmation: "This shouldn't be your real strength, right? Can you tell us where your limit memory is?"

"Do you know π and root number 2?" Xu Mang asked, "Is it pi and root 2?"

"How can you memorize pi?" asked the uncle curiously.

"Huh!"

"Can I recite pi and root number 2 backwards believe it or not?" Xu Mang said with a grin: "Just ask if you are afraid?"

The four judges were shocked, probably frightened by Xu Mang's momentum, and for a while they didn't think that the so-called pi and root number 2 are irrational numbers, that is, infinite non-cyclic decimals.

Hehe...

Sure enough, it's a group of brick families!

This so-called "Strongest Mind" is a bit unreliable.

When Xu Mang saw the expressions of the four brick families, he understood that the water in it was very deep, not to mention the top three in the country, and it was estimated that the top ten would not be able to enter.

"Xu Mang, you can go back, the program will call you in one or two days, and then you can go directly to the "Strongest Mind" column group. Uncle said with a smile.

"Oh. ”

Xu Mang left the scene, looked at the players in the waiting area, and couldn't help sighing.

It is said that one will succeed and ten thousand bones will wither, but how many people have died is unknown, if it is a battle death, it can be regarded as a well-deserved death, but the result is so humble... Humble to the dust.

...

Hangzhou Railway Station,

There was still an hour before the departure, Xu Mang sat in the waiting area, playing the glory of the king, and the record was naturally miserable, with zero kills and zero assists and twenty deaths, and his teammates began to turn into eggplants one by one.

Teammate A: wdnmd

Teammate B: wdnmd

Teammate C: wdnmd

Teammate D: wdnmd

surrender

The crystal self-destructs.

Xu Mang sighed and quit the game, but his account was blocked for seven days.

Xu Mang: WDNMD

"Hello?"

"What are you doing?" Xu Mang received a call from Yang Xiaoman.

"Have you been promoted?" asked Yang Xiaoman.

"Hmm!"

"Have you been promoted?" Yang Xiaoman was a little surprised, but quickly returned to normal and said, "Anyway, you went to the provincial capital, did you buy any gifts for my wife?"

"Gift?" Xu Mang was stunned for a moment, quickly reacted, and said with a smile: "Of course I bought it!"

"Hee-hee!"

"Then I'll wait for your gift on Monday. ”

syllable

Hang up.

Xu Mang was a little confused, the gift... Gift... I actually forgot about this stubble.

At this point,

Xu Mang stood up and looked around, and saw that there was a shop, and this store was very distinctive, because it said 'local products'.

"Boss?"

"What are some better souvenirs?" asked Xu Mang.

"Sauce duck, drunken chicken, vinegar fish, tea... These are our specialties here. The boss pointed to the exquisitely packaged drunken chicken: "This drunken chicken is the hottest thing we sell here!"

Xu Mang looked at the chicken and asked curiously, "After eating this chicken and going to drive, is it considered drunk driving?"

“...”

"Little brother, you have such a good sense of humor. The boss smiled awkwardly: "It shouldn't be counted." ”

"Oh..."

"Then I don't. Xu Mang shook his head: "The main thing is that this chicken is too beautiful." ”

Words fall,

Xu Mang casually pointed to a few things.

"This, this, and this. ”

"Wrap me up. ”

"Okay!"

...

Monday

Xu Mang came to the school with two black bags, and as soon as he walked to the door of the classroom, he saw Yang Xiaoman already sitting in his place, like a fool, holding his mobile phone and smiling.

Xu Mang sighed, when there were many people, this woman was reserved, indifferent, and noble, but in private she was a violent maniac.

"What are you looking at?" Xu Mang leaned over curiously.

A pig swimming...

Nima!

It turns out that all you need to do is throw a pig into the water to make Xueba happy.

"Look at this pig, it's so interesting!" Yang Xiaoman covered his mouth and said with a smile: "I'm laughing to death." ”

Xu Mang didn't speak, and looked at Yang Xiaoman quietly, it seemed that she was in a very beautiful mood at this time, so will this gift be given or not? Will she be beaten after giving it?

"Alas!"

"Where's my gift?" asked Yang Xiaoman.

"Give!"

Xu Mang put one of the bags on the table and said seriously: "I have been picking for a long time, and it definitely meets your current needs." ”

With a hint of anticipation, Yang Xiaoman opened the black bag, and as a result... Something inside made her feel like her IQ was insulted, no... It's a merciless trampling!

"Why are they all dishes?!" Yang Xiaoman stared at Xu Mang angrily, gritted his teeth and said, "You'd better give me an explanation, otherwise don't blame the old lady for being you're welcome!"

"Alas!"

"Do you know why your breasts are so flat?" Xu Mang said nonsense seriously: "It's just that you eat too little!"

"Look..."

"Southern fermented bean curd meat, charcoal-grilled pigeon, roasted pig..." Xu Mang smiled: "Do you understand my good intentions?"

Yang Xiaoman: (* ̄〈 ̄)

......

The pain is only temporary, but the beautiful mood is permanent, although Xu Mang has just been beaten, he still faces life with a smile, just like the tree man once said, a real warrior dares to face the bleak life.

Xu Mang is a warrior.

"Hello?"

Xu Mang received a mysterious phone call, the other party was a man, and he used a mobile phone.

"You're Xu Mang, right?"

"I am from the "Strongest Mind" column group, you have entered the top 500 in the country, please go to the capital in seven days to participate in the second round of selection, and the address will be sent to you by text message later. ”

Words fall,

Hang up directly.

Xu Mang ran back to the classroom, found Yang Xiaoman, said that he had borrowed her mobile phone, and sent a text message to the person who had just called him, Xu Mang wanted to confirm something.

"Hello, I'm Thanos's son, I still have $30 billion frozen on Earth, but I'm on Titan, and I can't go back, now as long as you transfer 100,000 yuan, you can unfreeze this fund, and when the time comes, you will share 10 billion dollars, and the account number is XXXXXXXXX (please reply 54250 if you refuse)"

In less than ten seconds,

The other party replied.

“54250”

Xu Mang: :(°ー°〃)

Depend on!

This column group is all mentally retarded!

......