Lu Wei, don't be stunned.

Huo Yi smiled sarcastically, "What's the matter?"

"I didn't tell you, did I? I've always lived alone. There is only one person. Huo Yi said in a hoarse voice.

Somehow, Huo Yi suddenly wanted to tell this story.

This story has been pressing on his heart for too long.

"My parents are old children, and when they gave birth to me, they were not young, and they were only children, so when I was very young, I only had two relatives. Huo Yi said, "Fortunately, they are very good with another couple in a similar situation, so I don't feel that the family of three is lonely." Because there are also godparents, godmothers and sisters. Oh yes, the couple had a daughter, three years younger than me. ”

Huo Yi's voice sounded like he was coming from far away, "I've always felt like I'm happy." Until Fu Yin...... It's my sister, who was found to have ALS. Do you know what ALS is?"

"Yes. Lu Weibei clenched his fists slightly.

How could she not know that just this afternoon, she also used the example of ALS patients to comfort He Shu.

The full name of ALS is amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, also known as ALS.

People move because their muscles move. And the muscles know they want to move because the nerve cells tell them to do it.

In people with ALS, the neurons that connect to skeletal muscles gradually die.

Gradually, they were unable to walk, eat, or speak.

They are conscious, but they can't do anything. Like a soul trapped in a tombstone.

Just hearing the name of ALS, Lu Weibei can already feel the overwhelming sadness in this story.

"She was an athlete when she was a child, running, long jumping, playing basketball, and no one could get her. Her current 800-meter record in junior high school is still hers. Although she was three years younger than me, she was not at all weaker than me, and I was beaten every time I fought. Huo Yi's expression was gentle, and there was a faint pride in his tone.

With pride comes great sorrow.

He didn't even know when the disease came. Fu Yin herself loves to run and make trouble, and her body is often bruised and purple. So when she first started to walk and stumble, everyone in the family thought that she had twisted somewhere, and no one cared about it at all. Who knows, she couldn't even hold the bowl steadily. They woke up and took her to the doctor.

"When she was diagnosed, I was in my third year of high school, and I was admitted to the medical university with all my strength, and I wanted to become a neurologist and then save her. Huo Yi had a wry smile on his face, "But she didn't wait for me." ”

Lu Wei sighed secretly. The prognosis for ALS is not good, and most patients do not live for several years. Like Stephen Hawking, he is already one in a million lucky.

"I still remember the day when the last exam of the first semester of my junior year ended. I made an appointment to take her to see the ice lanterns, so I was busy packing my bags as soon as I finished the exam. On the way home, she called me and chatted with me. She told a lot of stories from our childhoods. She told me that I secretly stuffed a caterpillar into her pencil case and was beaten to the point that my arm was blue for two weeks, that she liked to eat my mother's red bean cake the most, and that when I went to her house, she secretly stuffed mustard into the bottom of my bowl. She said that I was the best brother in the world, and she said that she used to think that even if we got married in the future, we would live near each other. She said she wanted me to be the best neurologist I could be, and she said she was actually relieved that her parents still had me. ”

Hearing this, Lu Wei was stunned.

Patients with ALS have respiratory and swallowing failure in the terminal stage, and can only survive on ventilators. If she had died of illness, she would not have been able to say such a large number of words on the day of her death.

"She's never talked like that about the past, and she's never talked about the future. I was so scared that I didn't even have time to put my luggage and went straight to her house. When she went, she found that she had spent her aunt to buy popsicles, and she had hanged herself. I cried and picked her up and gave her CPR like a madman. It didn't take long for the ambulance to arrive, and it was she who called. She left a suicide note, saying that she wanted to donate her organs. Probably she knew that organs that had been deprived of oxygen for too long could not be used, so she specially called an ambulance before she died. ”

"She's so smart. Her kidneys, her liver, her heart, her lungs, her corneas, all found new owners. But she no longer exists in this world. Huo Yi's voice was unhurried, as if he was telling someone else's story.

Lu Wei didn't look uncomfortable, and asked him in a low voice, "...... You were ...... Sad, isn't it?"

"I forgot. Huo Yi shook his head, "At that time, every day was dark, and I couldn't remember what mood I was in at that time." ”

"Yes...... You still have both parents to take care of, and you should be too tired to think about it. Lu Wei said goodbye.

Huo Yi was speechless when he heard this.

After a long time, he said in a dumb voice, "I don't have parents to take care of, only the aftermath to handle." ”

Lu Weibei felt that her hands were a little shaky, she put her hands under the table and clenched her fists.

"It was a very cold day and it snowed heavily. It rarely snows in the south, but it was a particularly heavy day. When I was in the ambulance, I called both parents. When they heard this, they were very anxious, so they came over together. Huo Yi continued with a bloodless face, "But the snow was too heavy that day. Their car was involved in a series of traffic accidents. ”

Huo Yi still remembers that he waited alone outside Fu Yin's operating room, watching her organs being sent out one by one.

The adults of the two families didn't come for a long time, he thought, it's nothing, at least when they come, they can see a stitched and fairly complete Fu Yin.

But who knows, he was waiting for four bloody people.

With a hint of luck, he hoped that it was just a false alarm, that they would survive the catastrophe.

All he waited for was four sentences, from different doctors, "We've done our best."

"All of them left, leaving me alone. Huo Yi muttered, "Thirteen years." It's just me. ”

Lu Wei didn't want to persuade him, but he opened his mouth, but he didn't know what to say.

"You say, am I qualified to judge Liu Qin's future?" Huo Yi gritted his teeth, raised his eyebrows and smiled, staring at Lu Weibei with red eyes.

Lu Wei didn't wipe away his tears indiscriminately and looked up at him.

She felt that the person sitting in front of her was still the Huo Yi who had just become an adult and was in his early twenties, the Huo Yi who had been hurt by life and lived like a hedgehog. The Huo Yi who didn't even have time to learn to grieve, and could only use anger and fear to support himself to live.

So she stretched out her hand and stroked Huo Yi's eyebrows.

Huo Yi was stunned.

"It's a really sad story. Lu Weibei said softly, "I cried for you, can you be less sad?"

Huo Yi did not answer.

"I'm not going to kill myself, I'm not going to give up on you. When you are sad about this matter in the future, contact me, and I will help you cry, okay?" Lu Wei didn't ask.

"I'm not sad, I'm ......" Huo Yi held back the fire, and his words were not good.

He didn't know what it was.

"Angry, resentful?" Lu Wei didn't make up the rest for him.

Huo Yi's expression moved.

It's anger.

It's resentment.

There's nothing wrong with that.

But is that really all there is?

If that's all there is, what are those longings that make people unable to sleep in the dead of night? What is the distress and self-blame when they see He Shu's despair? What are the letters that they dare not open and do not want to destroy when they carefully look through old things?

"It's sadness. Lu Weibei said softly, "There is a theory that there are seven stages of sadness, surprise, denial, anger, compromise, guilt, depression, and acceptance. You see, anger is sometimes not pure anger, and sometimes resentment is not pure resentment. You get along with her day and night, you love her like a brother, do you really have only resentment towards her?"

Huo Yi didn't speak.

When this first happened, he refused to accept the reality, and after the funeral in a trance, he locked himself in his home all day, pretending that nothing had happened. At that time, Qin Li was so anxious that he invited a locksmith to break into his house, and dragged Zhang Lin to help him with psychological counseling, which dragged him out of the house.

Back then, Zhang Lin also tried to talk to him about his resentment towards Fu Yin, but he chose to interrupt psychological counseling.

Maybe it was because he was so sad at that time, so sad that he could only live by resentment, he didn't want to understand Fu Yin's thoughts at all.

But now, thirteen years later, he is able to live like a normal person. He has become accustomed to the impermanence of the world, and he has compassion for those who are desperate and struggling. He could no longer deny the longing, the pain, which had nothing to do with resentment.

It is no longer even possible to fully place the blame for the departure of both parents on her own.

But who else is he to blame?

Do you blame that snow?

"I can accompany you through this grief slowly. Lu Weibei said softly.

Huo Yi clenched his fists.

"But Huo Yi, you can't evaluate the lives of Zhang Lin and Liu Qin. Lu Weibie's voice was still very soft, but very firm.

Huo Yi stared at her in disbelief, "I told you so much, can't you still understand? If you just let Teacher Zhang go like this, you still can't understand how painful Teacher Liu will be?"

"I can understand your pain, but that's not a reason for you to use your experience to make judgments for others. You are still struggling with the agony of thirteen years ago. You are not objective. Lu Wei said goodbye.

Huo Yi stared at her angrily.

Lu Wei didn't see that there were no numbers above Huo Yi's head, he breathed a sigh of relief and lowered his eyes.

How could she believe that Huo Yi was sane?

Fu Yin is not a coward at all.

When Fu Yin died, her degree of self-care should be very high, otherwise she would not be able to arrange everything related to suicide smoothly. Even, she should not have shown world-weary or hopelessness, otherwise, her relatives would have been prepared and would not have allowed her to commit suicide so easily.

She was not defeated by the pain of illness.

She took the initiative to make a choice and sent herself to a dead end with her own hands.

She's a warrior.

ALS usually dies from systemic infections caused by ventilators. In that case, the organ is no longer worth transplanting. Fu Yin chose to end all this early, thinking of more than just herself. She should want to leave more meaning to the world, help more people, and use this help to comfort more people.

Lu Wei didn't think that Fu Yin had given up on this world. On the contrary, she should love the world passionately, so much so that she wants to exchange her last days for greater happiness in this world.

Believing in miracles and working hard to persevere, of course, is a brave warrior, but facing fate and turning into spring mud is not a kind of bravery?

If life is a desperate choice, then making a choice is already a great decision.

It's a pity that Huo Yi still doesn't understand it now. Although he grew up with Fu Yin, he should know her better than anyone else.

Fate made people, Fu Yin's decision caused her unpredictable butterfly effect, causing Huo Yi to lose everything without any transition.

He never came out of the catastrophe, and for the next thirteen years, he seemed to be better than a year, but in fact he had been living in a large stress reaction.

At this meal, the two parted unhappily.

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