On his deathbed, Zhang Baotong 2018.7.9

By noon, his condition had deteriorated. He looked very tired, and his eyes couldn't be opened. But no, he had been moving and moving all night and all morning, and he was indeed exhausted. However, he was still not idle. His body was still writhing and churning, because the pain in his body had not yet been relieved, and the needles stuck in his body and the leather and urinary catheters inserted in his body had not been removed. Therefore, at this time, he was almost in a half-confused and half-conscious state. But he is in this state very worrying and terrifying. He always unconsciously used his hands to pull out the leather tube and urinary catheter on his body, and even to pull out the needle on his arm. So, my wife and I took turns holding his hands and not letting his hands grasp the needles and tubes. Although he could no longer sit up from the bed, his strength was still quite strong. He took my hand and was able to half-lean and half-prop myself up from the pillow. If he touches the needle or tube, he can pull it out at once. This is very dangerous. However, he felt uncomfortable and uncomfortable, so he wanted to unplug it.

He's a stubborn old man, but he's still informed. Because he was pitiful to see him hospitalized for injections, his family members were also indulging his stubbornness. You kept telling him that you couldn't get up, but he kept asking you to help him sit up. If you don't help him up, he will sit up on his own. You told him that he didn't dare to use his hands to move the needle and the leather tube, but he still reached out again and again to pull out the needle and leather tube, completely ignoring you, which was completely childlike willfulness and stubbornness. Actually, it was not his sober action, but an unconscious act. He felt very uncomfortable because of these things stuck and stuck in him.

By two o'clock in the afternoon, he was so tired that he couldn't open his eyes at all, but his mouth was always wide open, for he was breathing heavily through his mouth. At this time, the appearance can be described as a dead lamp and dying. This moment can be said to be the closest he is to the end of his life. He was exhausted and exhausted, but he didn't want to lie down and sleep quietly, as if once he fell asleep, he would never wake up again. So, he had to struggle hard to keep himself from falling asleep. He closed his eyes slightly, trying not to let his mind get drunk. Under the control of this consciousness, although the person is in a semi-confused state, his hands are constantly grasping the needle and the leather tube, and sometimes he has to sit up tenaciously. to show the tenacity and perseverance of his life. Because he said to his son yesterday, "I'm going to leave in two days." And in fact he was so scared and scared to leave this world.

This is the first time I have seen a person dying at the end of his life. It was a kind of despair and helplessness that was tormented by extreme fatigue and exhaustion, but was so frightened by extreme fear that I didn't dare to sleep. Even when my father died, I didn't see it. Because my father got up in the morning, sat in a chair and left, and my mother was out to go to the bathroom. And our brothers and sisters are not around. So, he didn't seem to have any pain at all when he died, unlike my father-in-law who had to suffer as much. However, my father was only 76 years old when he died, and my father-in-law is now 90 years old.

At about four o'clock in the afternoon, the nurse on duty and the nurse on duty were on duty, and at this time, the nurse shouted loudly, "Old horse, does it hurt?" and asked twice in a row, but he did not respond at all. It was still the wife who shouted, "Dad, the nurse called you." However, he immediately answered, but did not understand what his wife said. The nurse on duty will give him another bladder flush. As soon as the needle was inserted, he opened his eyes with a look of extreme pain, as if Jesus had been killed. In order to relieve this sudden increase in pain, he moaned loudly and writhed all over, as if he was extremely unbearable. Then, propping himself on the bed with his arms, he kept shouting, "Get up, get up." "It's like you're blocking someone's breath and getting out of here right away. However, there was no one here to stop him, and he couldn't leave just as he wanted to.

He was very manic, very angry, and shouted, "Get up, get up." But no one helped him. His wife kept coaxing him to calm him down. I squeezed his hands so hard that he wouldn't lift the sheet on his body. In fact, he wanted to lift the sheet on his body because he wanted to touch the place where the tube was inserted or the sore spot where the needle was inserted on his body through the sheet. At this time, he was so sleepy that he couldn't even open his eyes, but the pain made him unable to settle down, and he wanted to pull out the leather tube and needle from his body. So, I grabbed his hands tightly.

He struggled for a while, ran out of strength, and gasped for breath with a sigh. Whenever he looked out the window, his expression was very complicated. It was as if something outside the window was attracting him. The eyes will suddenly light up, but they will soon dim and then close them. Tears welled up in the corners of his eyes again. I wiped his eyes with a napkin, but they dried and came out. I think he's nostalgic for this world and doesn't want to leave his loved ones. But outside the window was a gray fog that made him see no hope at all.

By evening, it was already a little dark outside the window. We are waiting for my wife and brother to take over. This time passed very slowly. The wife sat next to the sick man, holding her hand and talking to him so that he could sleep peacefully. Because he hadn't slept all night and all day.

However, at this time, the nurse on duty came to inform him that she was going to do Chinese medicine to wash his intestines. I came over and asked my wife. His wife said that he hadn't eaten all day, so why did he have to wash his intestines. The nurse said that she was supposed to wash her intestines last night, but she didn't wash last night, so she put it off until tonight. And also said that if we don't want to wash the intestines, they won't prepare. So, my wife asked me to come over and see my father-in-law, so that she could call her sister and brother to ask about the situation.

I stood up from the nurse across the street into the room and sat next to my father-in-law. However, I immediately saw the urinary catheter in his urine come out and called out to the nurse in shock. The nurse came, and the doctor came later. The doctor was very annoyed and said that the catheter had to be done by a surgeon, and it was very difficult to ask someone to do it every time. However, there is no way, the urinary catheter has come out. Except for inserting it in, no matter how much you say, it's useless. My wife scolded me loudly, but I said that as soon as I entered the house from the outside, I saw the catheter coming out. His wife said that he had pulled out the catheter in the two or three seconds she had left him.

Fortunately, the doctor on duty still called the surgeon. The nurse and I lifted my father-in-law up and laid him flat. At this time, I realized that his body was so thin and small, and there was no flesh on his whole body. Let the person gently hold it up with his hand. Then, the doctor began to insert a urinary catheter for her. The doctor put a catheter against a wire and inserted it into his urine almost a foot deep, then pumped the balloon and pulled the wire out. Watching this whole process, I was so frightened that I almost fainted. Because I can't see this terrible scene. I remember once seeing a doctor stitching a child's forehead, and I immediately fainted and fell to the ground.

After inserting the urinary catheter, the doctor on duty told us again that the patient had undergone prostate surgery, and every time it was inserted, it would cause some damage, so we asked us to keep a close eye on the patient. The nurse on duty immediately brought a strap and tied his right arm to the bed frame, so that his hand could not reach the catheter. He was very upset and even a little annoyed that his arms were tied and he could no longer move casually, but no one took pity on him anymore, because everyone was afraid that he would pull out the catheter again.

After a while, my wife and brother came, and as soon as we told them the precautions, we changed shifts. At this time, we breathed a long sigh of relief and a sense of relief. However, the patient's suffering continues. Until the moment he really closed his eyes, his pain could only get deeper and heavier.

When we came back to the hospital the next morning, we found that my father-in-law was in a coma, had not spoken again, and was struggling to breathe. The doctor said he would be injected with human albumin, and that the other drugs should be increased to the maximum dose. When it was close to 12 noon, he suddenly began to run water from his mouth and nose, like Chinese medicine juice, which wet a large piece of the bedside and couldn't wipe it. Later, I learned that it was not Chinese medicine juice, but blood. So, I immediately called the nurse, and the nurse immediately called the doctor. When the doctor saw that his blood pressure had dropped to 54/42 and that he was no longer breathing, he told me that there was no help.