It is rare to see a starry sky in the summer night sky of S City. It's not that it doesn't exist, it's that the whole city is brightly lit, and the neon lights are too gorgeous, and the sea of stars above will naturally dim.

Xinghai ...... I slowly opened my clenched fists, my palms soaked in sweat. A faint light came out through the gaps between the fingers. The light was more easily ignored than the stars in the lights of thousands of homes, and it seemed to disappear in the blink of an eye.

When I was a kid, I played with a group of little girls, and we would coat ten nails with fluorescent nail polish. Then I took the painted nails to the light, and waited for the moment when the lights were turned off at night, and in the darkness where I couldn't see my fingers, I admired the slightly strange light emitting from my nails. At that time, I thought that even light of the light green was surprisingly beautiful.

No matter how beautiful the existence is in memory, it can't compare to the shredded paper in the palm of my hand now. It was a corner of the painting that I picked up from the ground when I was in the exhibition hall. It suddenly occurred to me that the poster we drew at the school art festival seemed to be much inferior to the one in the exhibition hall just now.

I opened my hand completely, and the already faint light was fleeting, and disappeared without a trace.

"Lin, Wei, Sheng" I read out the three words on the paper, and asked in a tone that was more direct than any time I had ever been with Zhao Yilun, "Who is she?"

"Who is she?"

"Throw it away. He grabbed my hand and pulled out the scrap of paper.

"I remember asking you a long time ago, who the hell is she?" I deliberately leaned over and hid my arms behind my back to prevent him from doing so.

He tried to break my clenched fist, "Give it to me." ”

"Can't you even explain?"

"Explain?" he bit his lip and stared at me helplessly, and everything changed in an instant. "I remember a long time ago I wanted to tell you about my past with her, which you didn't want to hear in the first place, remember?"

"Huh?" I was so angry that I didn't want to listen...... How could I want to listen?

"You're ready to talk now, aren't you?"

"What don't you want to hear from me?"

"Are you sick? Am I stupid? Have you ever seen a woman who wants to hear who her boyfriend has been dating before, and what has happened?"

"What do you want me to say? You are the one who says you don't want to listen, and now it's you who want to explain, say, what do you want me to say?"

His face was gloomy, and his speech became unacceptable. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or if he's doing something wrong.

Or rather, we did something wrong.

I've got the answer I wanted, and he didn't deny it when I said who he had been dating before.

"You ...... You've dated Lin Weisheng, right?"

I spread my palm, and he was slightly stunned, and his fingers immediately skimmed my palm rudely, leaving a burning pain.

As if venting, he tore up the small piece of paper and threw it under the overpass.

From the bottom of my heart, I am afraid of this kind of quarrel scene, this kind of emotional catharsis. I've been scared since I was five years old when I watched my parents fight over a topic that didn't even exist.

After becoming accustomed to this flawed pattern of getting along with men and women, I could no longer allow myself to be silent.

Inevitably, the first outbreak between me and him began.

At that moment, I confessed that I was selfish, but I didn't want to be so aggrieved and didn't care about him at all.

"Zhao Yilun", the hot wind in the summer whistled past my ears, and my whole body was hot and shivering.

"Before, now and in the future, I don't want to know anything about what happened between you and her, not at all!"

"Su Ke, don't make trouble. Maybe it was because my voice was too loud, he took a deep breath and walked up to me, his tone softening a lot.

I distanced myself from him, and my voice trembled, "You know, why I don't want to listen?"

Distraught, his attention was not on me at all, he cared more about the painting and the person who painted it than what I thought.

"Why should I be willing to listen to you without me in those days you were with her!"

His eyes reflected the endless night, the constantly flashing neon lights, and the endless flow of traffic...... But there is no me.

"What the hell do you want to do?"

What the hell do I want to do...... I also wanted to know what I wanted to do. If he cares about me, even if he cares only a little bit, then I don't even hate myself like I do now......

Because I like you, I don't want to listen to it, because I like you, so I make trouble unreasonably......

After a long time, he said calmly, "You need to calm down. ”

I held my breath for fear that the tears would fall, for fear that he would see my fragile appearance.

“…… You are the one who needs to be calm the most. In the midst of hesitation and entanglement, I turned around, and every step was so unresolute.

I wish he could call my name when I turn around, even once, even if it is quiet, as long as he can remember that I am always there for him......

Prayed, nervous at the same time, but did not dare to look back.

After unconsciously stepping off the overpass, I looked behind me, and countless unfamiliar faces passed by. There's no silhouette of the person I want to see the most.

The unhappiness that had accumulated in my heart broke through the shackles in an instant, and I cried loudly on the street where no one knew. To understand this, it is very difficult for a person who is not very open. But even a very unopen person like me now doesn't care about other people's eyes, and is unscrupulously doing what I thought would be a madman.

Tears covered my eyes, and I wiped the back of my hand like a child of a few years old, and my nose was stuffed, but I felt happy. I can't remember how many years I haven't wanted to cry like this now, so undisguised, there is no need to hide it.

More than ten years ago, in the winter, when the snow was falling, I couldn't wait for my mother, and when I came home, I just hid in the corner and sobbed quietly, not daring to make a sound, afraid that my father would beat me.

I'm scared of too many things, so I'm careful about what I have now.

In a trance, when I went down the steps, I stepped into the air, and when I opened my eyes, I had already fallen into the flower pond next to me.

When people are unlucky, they drink cold water between their teeth, and I have practiced this sentence of truth countless times in my life. The pain was intense and penetrating from the surface of the skin, the palms and knees were worn out, and the wounds were faintly visible in the dim light.

I limped on the last train in severe pain, and until I reached the terminal, I kept emptying myself as usual. When I came back to my senses, I could occasionally notice that my face was printed on the glass, and my eyes were so red and swollen.