Jinwo, Yinwo and Tuwo Zhang Baotong 2017.12.06

A good friend went to Canada to take care of her daughter's child, and she had to stay for at least half a year. We played together every day, and as soon as he left, we all felt like we were missing something, but we had some other golfers, so we got used to it over time. The friend also called, saying that how beautiful the environment in Canada is, how rich life is, it is like paradise, but the land is sparsely populated, there are almost no people on the street, and I usually only go to the supermarket once a week, I have to drive the car and buy a lot of things, so I spend most of my time at my daughter's house every day. My friend went to Canada with his wife, and as a retired employee, in addition to watching the children, he also wanted to go out for activities. He doesn't have any other hobbies, he likes to play table tennis, and he plays the ball well. So, he took the whole local community around and found a big gymnasium. When I went in, everyone was playing ice hockey, and although there were table tennis tables in the stadium, no one was playing table tennis. He plays for two or three hours almost every day in our community, which has been his habit for many years. However, when he was suddenly idle and had no ball to play, he always felt very unaccustomed and uncomfortable. So, before he had been in Canada for two months, he couldn't bear it anymore and ran back alone. Half a year after coming back, his daughter and his wife urged him to hurry over every day, because his daughter went to work, and his wife couldn't watch the children alone. He really doesn't want to go back again, so he will delay tomorrow today and the day after tomorrow.

Another friend was invited by her sister to travel to Australia the year before last, and the time was half a month. But when he went there, he turned the streets around the area, and he felt that there was nowhere else to go. Because I was bored, I wanted to find a place to play table tennis. To play table tennis, you need a racket. He didn't know how many stores he had to go to before he could buy a racket. Once you have a racket, go find the gym. However, he searched the area and couldn't find the stadium. I heard that there was a stadium in the city more than 40 kilometers away, so I asked my brother-in-law to drive him there, but no one played table tennis in the stadium. So, I had to drive back again. Because his sister and brother-in-law have to go to work all day, he is bored by himself, so he wanders around. One day, somehow I turned into a wooded area and found a small clear lake in the woods. There are many naked men and women swimming in the small lake. He was so startled that he only dared to look secretly from a distance, not daring to approach. Later, when I asked, I found out that it was a local celestial swimming pool. So, he came here every day to watch the local men and women swim.

My mother came to Xi'an to handle my father's funeral when my father was injured at work, and she never came to Xi'an again for decades. She has a deep affection for Xi'an, because my father has been buried here for many years. When my child was four years old, my mother offered to come to Xi'an to bring the child to us. In fact, the child does not need her to take care of her in kindergarten. But I knew that my mother wanted to come to Xi'an, so I wanted her to come and live for a while. However, my mother came to Xi'an for less than 10 days and had to go back. Because she felt that we lived in a building here, and the neighbors didn't interact with each other, she went to the market all day long to buy some food, and when she came back to the house, she was alone, and there was no one to talk to, which was very boring.

There was a time when I was in a very bad mood and wanted to leave home and go far away. So, I took more than ten days of sick leave and went to the mountains of Danfeng. Originally, I wanted to stay there for more than ten days and have a good time to relax. However, local farmers do not have toilets, they cannot take baths, and they sleep at night with fleas. So, after three or five days of living in the mountains, I felt that I couldn't live anymore.

In fact, there will be many examples and personal experiences like this. We are always thinking about how good and desirable a place is. But when we do go to that place and stay for a while, we want to leave and go home. It's not that the place is bad, it's not that there are no people there, it's that you feel unaccustomed and uncomfortable with that place. We humans have had the concept of home since the beginning of the matriarchal society. At that time, while men were wandering, women had a fixed place to live. Therefore, when the man is tired and tired outside, he still has to return to the woman's residence. Therefore, human beings have a kind of yearning and longing for the cycle of wandering and returning in their genes.

People's mentality itself is a contradiction, sometimes, we stay at home for a long time, there will be a dull and depressed feeling, so we are eager to travel to a certain place, see the beauty of other places, experience fresh feelings, broaden their horizons, eliminate the boredom in the heart. However, when you travel or spend a little time away from home, you will feel lonely, feel inconvenienced, feel that you can't meet some things you need, you can't do things you want to do, and you will even miss your relatives and lovers, so you want to go home early. For us humans, home always has a centripetal gravitational pull.

In today's society, it is our lifestyle habits, not genetic factors, that have the greatest impact on us. Just like a tree being transplanted to another piece of land, it will slowly get used to and adapt to the local soil and climate. For example, I grew up in Hunan and came to Xi'an to work and live, and I was very unaccustomed to the food and climate of Xi'an, but after a long time, I slowly got used to it. However, the process of getting used to this habit is very difficult and long, even very distressing and helpless. In fact, if my two friends live in Canada and Australia for a long time, they will slowly adapt and get used to it. However, that would make them feel very uncomfortable and reluctant. If it weren't for the sake of making a living and surviving, I am afraid that no one would voluntarily move to other places and force themselves to adapt and get used to a strange or even very disliked living environment and way. I feel this very much. I grew up in Miluo, Hunan Province, which is the land of fish and rice, and we ate rice at home, and the food cooked at home was very delicious. The climate in Hunan is warm, the winters are not very cold, and there are classmates, friends and lovers there. These are things that we do not want to part with and separate. However, after arriving in Xi'an, I didn't eat rice once in Xi'an for three years because it was not served at that time, and the canteen served noodles, steamed buns and corn cakes all day long. The winter in Xi'an is very cold, and my hands and feet are always red and swollen from the cold. If it weren't for my family's opposition, I would have been transferred back to my hometown in Hunan a long time ago. Now, I am used to living in Xi'an, and the living conditions in Xi'an are much better than in the past, so every year when I go back to my hometown in Hunan for the New Year, I feel a little unaccustomed. Hunan people pay attention to eating and drinking, the oil and salt in the dishes are too heavy, and there are a lot of sophisticated people, there are mahjong stalls everywhere, and there is not even a place to play table tennis in the whole county. Moreover, Xi'an has heating in winter, so I feel that the winter in Hunan is very cold. In addition to this, there is another important factor, which is that I have a large group of golfers around me, both from our community and many outside, and we play and communicate together every day, and we often play and compete. It's often the happiest time of our day.

We love our home and our home, not because of how rich and luxurious our home life is, but because there is love and affection, family and joy, as well as friends and family that we like, and a familiar environment. The food here is best suited to our tastes, the beds are the most comfortable and peaceful, and the atmosphere is the most cozy. This seems to be a beautiful world specially arranged for us, very suitable for our feelings and preferences, just like lotus flowers like to grow in the summer pond, plum blossoms like to grow on the ice cliff, who of us can not like to live in a home full of comfort and warmth and family joy?

However, there is a kind of people in the world called homeless. Either they have lost their home or they don't have a home at all. This kind of person is arguably the most pitiful person in the world. The heroine I wrote about in Paradise Eleise, the most prominent woman in medieval Europe, spent almost her entire life in a monastery because her parents were nuns and friars in the monastery and died at a very young age. So, she didn't have the concept of home since she was a child. There is also a kind of home that you have a home, but you lose it for some reason. I know a woman who has just retired, and everyone else calls her Sister Wang. Sister Wang originally had a house in the city. The house is not big, but it is also my own home. However, when his son got married, he borrowed money and loans to buy a larger house outside the Second Ring Road. Last year, Sister Wang's wife died. When the son saw that his mother was living alone, he asked his mother to sell the house in the city and move in with them. Sister Wang thought that in this way, she could repay the money borrowed from others and the bank loan quickly, so she agreed. However, when she sold her house, she helped her son repay the loan and lived in his son's house. At this time, she found that her daughter-in-law hung her face all day long, always said some ugly things for her to hear, and sometimes deliberately couldn't get along with her and found some stubble. She was so angry that she didn't want to stay here for even a minute. In fact, the daughter-in-law just wanted to kick her out of here, but when she left here, she had no place to live, because she had already sold her house and had no home. Therefore, no matter how old and lonely a person is, he can't sell his house and cut off his back road. In fact, the elderly and their children can only stay together for a few days, and after a little longer, all kinds of problems and disagreements will arise, so in the end, they still want to go back to their own homes. Because this is where you feel most comfortable.

Home is a warm ray of sunshine that can melt the ice, snow and frost on our hearts, home is a bright lamp that can illuminate the journey we go home at night and return late, home is a warm harbor that can shelter the inevitable ups and downs in life, and home is a breeze that can sweep away the troubles and sorrows in our hearts. If there was a strange and indifferent palace and a hut full of love and joy for us to choose, we would definitely choose the latter, because it is there that we will feel comfortable and happy. This is why it is often said that the golden nest and the silver nest are not as good as their own soil nest.