Also known as "Marriage is the Grave of Love" Zhang Baotong 2016.7.4

It was the autumn of 1118, and Eloise was standing in the second-floor aisle of the abbey of Argenteuil on the outskirts of Paris, looking out beyond the walls, in the damp and gloomy season of the Mid-Autumn Festival, when the sky was gloomy and the wilderness was peaceful. Pen × fun × Pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 infoThe mist that permeated the Seine eroded the entire city along the Louvre and Waterloo Bridge. It was midday, and the sun still couldn't break through the thick haze, only a faint glow on the spire of the monastery's bell tower.

Aloise had been in the monastery for more than two weeks. She really didn't know how she spent those two weeks. I was used to living the life of a rich lady in Paris, and when I suddenly came here, my life seemed to have changed drastically. In the past, although she had lived here for many years, she was still young and alone at that time, and she was used to being in the cold wind and rain for so many years. So, I don't feel so boring and lonely. However, after experiencing a worldly life and a vigorous love, this life has changed dramatically for her. This life made her feel like she had become a ghost, not an ordinary person anymore.

The ghost got up at half past five every morning, when it was not yet dawn, and from her small room she could hear a series of footsteps rushing to the church to pray for the morning. Morning prayer is dedicated to God as an expression of gratitude to God for being able to sleep all night and come back safely. Then pray for the day and ask God to keep you and bless you for what you have to do that day. Morning prayer usually lasts two or three hours. Until the bell rings to end. At first, she did morning prayer for half an hour, and then she felt unbearable, unsteady on her feet, and even felt lightheaded and her eyes were dizzy. However, she gritted her teeth and persevered. After morning prayer, she had breakfast, and at 9 o'clock, like the other nuns, dressed in black clothes and hats, walked neatly to the cathedral of Argenteuil, not far away, to do all sorts of things. By 2 p.m., after a light lunch, she would be assigned by the dean to harvest potatoes or plant the fields. Every day of life here is very hard and very boring. But what made her hardest the most was that she couldn't see Abelard, her beloved husband and lover. She had never missed him and missed him so much as she did now. Therefore, every day she lives here is looking forward to the day when she will leave here as soon as possible. If she were to stay here for the rest of her life, she would be annoyed, if not exhausted.

The monastic life is the salvation of one's soul through the abandonment of the worldly and prayer and contemplation. There are few people who enter the monastery who are willing to give up their worldly life to practice. They all have a variety of reasons. There are elderly mothers who have practiced for many years and are ready to atone for the sins of their lives, there are homeless orphan girls who have been sent to monasteries by well-wishers to seek refuge, there are those who regard monasteries as their true destiny for life, and there are also people who have suffered major blows in their worldly lives, most of whom are women who have escaped into the void because of emotional problems. Lovely Lois was not one of them, she was a bright, sensitive, amorous and thoughtful woman, who did not like the dull and monotonous life of the convent. Although the indifferent canons and worldliness make the two beloved people separate, the hearts of the two people are always tightly snuggled together. All she thought about all day was to leave the monastery that had left her breathless early and go to live that loving life with her beloved Abelard.

It was Sunday, the day Abelard came to visit her at the monastery. So, after breakfast, she stood in the corridor on the second floor, and looked wistfully at the dirt road leading from the abbey to Paris, hoping to see a carriage coming from there.

Because the nuns followed the abbot to the cathedral of Argenteuil, there were few people left in the whole convent. So, the courtyard is very quiet. The reason why Eloise is more free is because Abelard has instructed the abbot that she is only temporarily sheltered here, and does not belong to the real nuns here, so she is the only nun in the entire convent who does not wear a veil, and the abbot also gives her more freedom.

It was about ten o'clock when she finally saw a carriage speeding down the road. She recognized it as soon as she looked at the carriage, it was the carriage in which Abelard was riding. She beckoned happily to that side. It may be that it is still far away, and there is no response from there. When the carriage had stopped in front of the abbey, and Abelard had entered the monastery gate in the dust, Eloise waved at him without ceasing. It stands to reason that this kind of behavior is not allowed in monasticism, but no one sees it.

Female convents are generally not allowed to enter the monastery, but Arral has a charter. This charter is issued by the abbot, who will pay more money if he is willing to pay more, and Abelard himself is a member of the church. It is very easy to obtain this kind of license.

Abelard went up to the second floor, because it was in the convent, the two did not hug and kiss, nor did they make any affectionate gestures, but used their eyes to convey their feelings. Abelard understood what Eloise meant, and followed her to a small room on the second floor, near the dean's office. The room was very small, except for a small bed, a small bedside table, a wooden washbasin stand, and an icon in the corner.

As soon as the two entered the house, they sat down on the cot, because they could not turn around until they sat down. Abelard immediately took off Eloise's black garment, which would make them very uncomfortable to meet. Eloise, on the other hand, took off all the rest of her clothes. At this time, Abelard also took off his clothes, and the two fell on the bed with their arms together. Because the small wooden bed has limited endurance, it is pressed by two people, and it keeps making a squeaking sound, as if it is unbearable and is about to break. However, two lovers who have been suppressed by passion for so long, how can they manage so much, they are just hungry wolves pounced on the love they longed for.

Although Abelard was a man, he was also a theologian, immersed in the world of theology for decades, accustomed to explaining problems in the Bible, both professionally and mentally shackled. The lingering sympathy with his beloved in this place in the monastery made him feel a little unaccustomed. Whenever he saw the statue of Christ placed next to him, his heart was filled with remorse and uncontrollable self-remorse. For every time his reason returns, the God in his heart will be resurrected again.

Eloise disregarded theological dogma, whether it was a confrontation with a teacher as a girl, an argument with her uncle, or a mad love affair with Abelard, she did not at all look like an ordinary medieval woman, living under the cross in a proper manner. In her mind, the truth she defines is far better than the truth imposed by others. Because she has been a lonely girl who has lacked love since she was a child, and the shadow of loneliness has accompanied her since she was a child, so the desire for love often makes her unable to help herself, because only love can make her eliminate loneliness.

After a few passions, Eloise said to her lover in a pleading tone, "Desir, find a way to get me away from here, for I will not be able to stay here for a day." ”

Abelard, however, was less pessimistic about monastic life, and asked, "What's wrong with you?"

Eloise complained, "What is this place for ordinary people? I feel like I'm about to become a ghost." ”

Abelard furrowed his brow for a moment, and said, "Hold on, my dear, I didn't tell you to hold on for two months, and when things on your uncle's side ease a bit, I'll take you out." ”

Eloise sighed and said, "Well, dear, I listen to you. ”

When they were tired, they lay down on their cots. However, the cot was so small that it could only be used by one person to lie flat, and two people could only lie on their sides against the wall. However, they knew that their time was precious, and at two o'clock the abbot would return from the church with the others. So, he had to get out of here before they returned. Otherwise, it will have a bad impact on them if they see it. So, before they had rested for a while, they began to hug each other again, kissing and loving each other, as if to vent the passion of the week to the fullest. Little did they know that this was their last reunion. How will they remember this last time?