The dominance of the family economy Zhang Baotong 2019.5.18

A friend of mine has been divorced for five or six years because his daughter-in-law can't stand her mother-in-law's overpower. Later, through the introduction of others, I met a woman, all the conditions are very good, just when the two were about to talk about marriage, the woman put forward a condition, that is, after marriage, the economy of the family should be in charge of her. My friend listened to this, and without saying a word, he blew the lamp with this woman.

I never paid attention to who was in charge of the family's finances before I got married. Because our family originally belonged to the Fourth Bureau of China Railway, and my father was repairing railways, his monthly salary was more than 50 yuan, plus a mobility allowance of about 20 yuan, a total of more than 70 yuan. My dad set aside 20 yuan a month from his salary for living expenses, and then entrusted the remaining 50 yuan to my mother by the unit. My mom used the money to support her family and save money.

When I got married, I was with my wife, so every time I paid my salary, I gave it to my wife, and my wife was in charge of it, because I didn't know how to live and I couldn't buy anything. If I want to buy anything, I can tell my wife and ask her to help me buy it.

However, on one occasion, my wife inadvertently slipped out of my mouth and said that her father had made a special explanation for her, telling her to hold on to the financial power of the family. Hearing this, I immediately became alert, no wonder she controlled my money very tightly every month. She took out the money from my salary card every month and then deposited it in her bank card, and she never told me how much money the family had saved over the years, I had to ask. And she said, "Why are you asking? Just have you to eat and you to wear."

Moreover, every time I ask her for money, she always interrogates her for a long time, you ask her for twenty, she only gives you ten yuan, you ask her for a hundred, she only gives fifty. If I had to send some money to my mother during the holidays, she would not want to do it, and for this reason I would often have to quarrel with her in anger so that she had to give me some money. Later, I simply saved the bonus and manuscript fee by myself as my own small treasury, and was too lazy to ask her for money.

Once, when we got divorced, I asked my wife to return my medical insurance card and bank card to me, but she refused to pay it back until she took out the bank card for the month. When I looked, there were only about ten yuan in the bank card. I asked her what about the money she had saved over the past few decades?

She told me that she used it all for her son to buy a house, buy a car, and get married. I thought she would not hesitate to spend as much money as she gave her son, but if I asked her for money, she would interrogate me for a long time, and she would not give me enough. So, I got angry and had a big fight with her. I feel that I have worked hard all my life and earned so much money, and I almost didn't spend it myself, so she let her spend it on her son, so that I didn't even have a decent dress for many years, or else, every time I go back to my hometown, people in my hometown say that I dress too poorly.

Although her life philosophy is "Aren't we living for our son?", the consequence of her doing so will make her son not cherish our hard-earned money, and spend more money.

Money should not be controlled and controlled by only one person, if this person is more dictatorial and arbitrary, it is easy to cause economic losses and family conflicts. I have a very good friend who is recognized as the most economical person in our railway community. In order to save a dollar, he could walk back from more than ten miles away. However, a few years ago, he was defrauded of 700,000 or 800,000 yuan by the guarantee company, and almost all of their family's savings in the past few decades were defrauded, so that his family did not even buy a new house.

The control of money is not only the ballast stone of family stability, but also the guarantee of harmonious coexistence between husband and wife. Money is in the hands of both spouses in the family. If a person thinks that the common goal of their lives is to buy a house, a car, or prepare for retirement, it is easy to reach a harmony. If one person has the will and the other does not, then it must be agreed upon.

One person cannot arbitrarily take charge and dispose of money that belongs to the whole family, nor can he deprive another person of his domination because of his own dictatorship. The whereabouts of the money should be for the common goal of life, otherwise, it is easy to cause the breakdown of the family and the disintegration of the couple, at least the other party will be strongly questioned and dissatisfied. For example, I am not satisfied with what my wife is doing, but she spends all her money on her son. If my son can live happily and securely, I won't care about it anymore. However, my friend was often complained by his wife when he was cheated out of so much money in order to get more interest.

In the past, there was a man from Quanzhou, Fujian Province who rented a house from my neighbor and was doing business in the Xi'an building materials market. The business started well, and the family of four was doing well. However, after the man had some money, he followed some fellow villagers and started gambling. I heard the woman say that she played a slot machine, which was set up in a rental house in our railway complex. In less than three or two months, the entire store was swept out, and he owed more than 100,000 yuan to others. Later, the family was so poor that they didn't even have money to buy groceries. The couple had no choice but to leave the house and return to their hometown with their two children.

I also told the story in an article about divorce that the bride, who has only been married for a month, asks the groom to buy her a new iPhone. The groom said that she had spent 5,000 yuan on her machine two months ago, and asked her to continue to use it. As a result, the bride threw her phone on the ground and said that she wanted a divorce. As a result, the two really divorced.

It can be seen that too many families and couples are linked by money, and even if it is not such a relationship, money plays a vital role in the family. Therefore, family members must spend money reasonably on a reasonable basis, if the unreasonable expenditure is insignificant, it is fine, if it is a relatively large amount, it must be approved by the main members of the family. For example, a friend's daughter is still studying at university, so she used her credit card to overdraft 8,000 yuan and travel and spend money with her friend. At that time, my friend's wife had just undergone surgery for breast cancer and owed tens of thousands of dollars. Therefore, their daughter's behavior made them very annoyed.

Money is a guarantee that we can live and have no worries about food and clothing, and it is sometimes more important than marriage. Because a person can be unmarried, but once he runs out of money, he will fall into a crisis. One of the purposes of a man and a woman marrying and starting a family is to save on the cost of living and have a common goal in life. Moreover, there are many marriages that are themselves for money. Therefore, both husband and wife should take care of each other's interests and ideas. Trust and negotiate with each other when it comes to spending and spending money, and don't treat your family's money as if you own it without considering the other person's feelings. Even if the family has money, it must be spent reasonably, otherwise, it will cause conflicts and even disasters.