Restraint is the source of virtueZhang Baotong 2018.10.25

Happiness is never given by others, but is built up bit by bit in one's own life. And this bit of architecture depends on struggle and success, and struggle and success require an indomitable character. This virtue is self-restraint. Self-restraint is the source of self-esteem and the foundation of one's happiness and virtue.

A person's growth always begins with self-restraint. Everyone has desires and dreams, as well as pleasures and laziness. In order to transform dreams into a real happiness, it is necessary to have the character of self-restraint. Only with restraint will people grow with themselves and be forced to discover their true selves.

There will be many opportunities for restraint and indulgence in a person's life, and a certain choice he makes at a certain time sometimes determines his success or failure. If he chooses restraint, he will strive for more freedom for himself in the future, and if he succumbs to his impulses and passions, from that moment on, he will give up his moral freedom.

Self-restraint is the most important embodiment and connotation of a person's morality, and it is also the most indispensable endowment of people. If a person lacks this kind of character, he will never be respected and loved by others, and even cannot be accepted and tolerated by himself. If there is a pair of grooms and brides who have just been married for less than a month, the two are childhood sweethearts, and they are a good match, which can be said to be a perfect match, happy and happy. However, one day, the bride told the groom that she wanted an iPhone 7 that had just been released, and the price was more than 5,000. But the bridegroom said, "Your phone was an iPhone 6 that I bought only half a year ago, can you use it for a while longer and then buy a new one?" The bride was not happy when she heard this, and said that I am not unprofitable, and I want to spend your money, so she immediately dropped the phone on the ground. When the bridegroom saw that the bride was so willful and unreasonable, he became angry. So, the two started scolding. As a result, the two divorced because of this. If one of the two men had restrained himself, the tragedy might have been avoided.

This shows how important self-restraint is to a person. Because the most important value of a person is to be able to restrain his instinctive impulses, and having this kind of good character is often an important guarantee for a person's success. Psychologists in the United States have experimented with restraint and success on some elementary school students. They gave each of the 40 elementary school students a piece of chocolate, placed it on the table, and asked them to eat it only after two classes with the permission of the experimenters. However, some students ate the chocolate after a while, and some students after a while, when they saw that some students had already eaten the chocolate, they couldn't help it and ate the chocolate as well. In the end, only fourteen students were able to eat the chocolate until after the second period, as the experimenters had requested. After more than 20 years of follow-up investigation, the experimenters found that those students who were able to self-restraint and kept the chocolate until the experimenter's permission was eating were more successful in their careers. And those students who eat chocolate as soon as they get it grow up to have a worse life, and some even end up poor. And most of the students who can leave the chocolate for a while before eating it have a very ordinary life. Because a person's self-discipline enables him to pursue success with extraordinary diligence and calmness. Many great figures in history have exhibited this trait.

Self-control and self-restraint are essential to one's happiness and necessity. It is impossible for man, like the earth, to take his own interests as the axis of rotation. Therefore, people must take into account the overall situation and subordinate themselves to the interests of the whole. This requires self-restraint, instinctive impulses and selfish desires. We can see how many people have embarked on the road of crime because they have not been able to curb their greed, embezzled and accepted bribes; how many people have become angry because of their poor self-control, causing lifelong disasters; how many people have become drunk and unable to wake up because of their uncontrollable addiction to alcohol; and how many people have failed to quit gambling addiction and have ended up bankrupt and their wives have been separated.

The ancients said: People can overcome their bodies without trouble, and they do not deceive their hearts and sleep in peace. Self-restraint can make people polite and polite, it can make people cautious in words and deeds, avoid haste and be patient, it can make people strict with discipline, self-respect and self-love, and it can make people curb greed and seek more blessings for themselves. Whoever is capable of doing any great thing must be able to completely control his talents and will, and be subject to discipline and moral tests. If we want to be a person who can make a difference and have a successful career, we must first learn from self-restraint.

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