Also known as "Marriage is the Grave of Love" Zhang Baotong 2016.7.4

Abelard didn't expect things to go so smoothly, and now he had been forgiven by the girl's uncle and had signed a pact with her. In this way, he can return to www.biquge.info his hometown and bring back his mistress. He thought Eloise would be very happy to hear that they were going to be married. Isn't this the anticipation and longing she thinks about day and night?

He immediately rushed back to his sister's house at Rose Manor. It was an evening in the spring of 1118, the third day of Eloise's birth. She gave birth to a boy, whom she named astrabi, i.e. compass. It is an astronomical word used to measure the distance between planets. And she gave him this name, which means to measure the distance of love between them.

After giving birth, Eloise has changed from a young girl to a mother, but her unique heroism and elegance have not changed at all, and her attitude towards things has become more tolerant and considerate. Dressing up is more elaborate and neat. It's as if she's still that innocent and lovely girl.

He kissed the young and lovely mother eagerly, and then knelt down on one leg before Eloise and began to propose, saying, "Dear Eloise, please marry me." ”

Eloise stroked her lover's thick hair, frowning and looking complicated. She let out a long sigh, and then said to him in a very strong tone, "No, my dear, I will not marry you. I can be your lover for life, but I can't be your wife. Never. ”

Abelard didn't expect her to say such a thing, and he asked in confusion, "Why? Don't you love me?"

Eloise went to the window, drew the curtains, turned around, and said to him in a tone of admonition, "It is because I love you that I cannot be your wife." Do you think I'm going to be able to marry me, you're going to lose your promotion in the church, your reputation will be damaged, your future will be ruined, do you think I'll be willing to see this happen?"

Abelard quickly shook his head and explained, "How is it possible? We are married in secret, and as long as others do not know about our marriage, it will not cause much damage to my reputation." ”

Eloise said, "No, don't be too happy. I know my uncle very well, and I can swear to you that he will never be satisfied with such an outcome, and will not give up on it, nor will he abide by your agreement. He will value his face more than anything else. So, I strongly disagree with getting married. ”

She even said, "If I make you so dishonorable, how can I be proud of you? If you don't have a dull face, then I can only be ashamed." Sure, the name of a wife seems more legitimate and holy, but I prefer to be a lover or, if you will, a concubine or a prostitute. I believe that the more I despise myself for you, the more I will be appreciated and the damage to your reputation will be minimized. Even if Augustus, the ruler of the whole world, is willing to marry me and give me all the land, I will still be your lover and not his queen."

Eloise was well aware of the rules of Pope Leo IX and Gregory VII forbidding a married priest to become a priest unless his wife also became a nun, but she was reluctant to give up her partner and children, so she offered to be his lover instead of wife. For it is a relationship that wisely keeps it secret and does not hinder his advancement in the church in the same way that marriage does. She did it entirely for her lover. Because what she wants is unrestrained love, not the fetters of marriage. So, the more she spoke, the more excited she became, "Unless the world really asks me to do this, I won't take those shining lights from you." ”

Then she said, "How untimely this marriage will be, how much damage it will cause to the church, how many philosophers will weep and mourn!

Speaking of this, she took a breath and said sadly, "How sad it will be for you, and for all the people of the world." Because you have given yourself to a woman and have suffered great humiliation for it!"

She was vehemently opposed to the marriage, believing that it would disgrace him anyway and carry a heavy burden on it.

Abelard listened to Eloise's admonition, and his heart was suddenly full of contradictions. It was a shame to him except that he had lived with her, but he didn't want to owe her too much. Therefore, he still wants to marry her, and it is in secret. He felt that this would serve the purpose of continuing to cohabit with her without damaging his reputation. But Eloise was trying to persuade him.

She said, "There's no doubt that marriage will make you feel the hardships of life. To avoid this, you should know the apostle's admonition to us: 'Art is lost from wives, so why should thou seek a wife?' Marriage, thou hast not sinned, nor has a virgin marryed. But you will have physical trouble. However, I will forgive you. Then, she continued, "You may feel indifferent to this, but if you do not care about the apostles of the lawyer or the saints, and regard marriage as a heavy shackle to you, you should at least heed the advice of the philosophers and weigh carefully the feelings they have written in the book of life." Even the saints often talk about it very seriously to warn us. As St. Jerome said at length in his letter to Giulinius, the unbearable troubles and the endless disturbances of married life argue with the most convincing argument that no wise man should have a wife. ”

Of course, Abelard should have known more about Eloise's admonitions than she did, and, in the same book, St. Jerome tells the story of Jose when he asked Cicero if he would marry Jose's sister again after Cicero's divorce from Trencia, to which Cicero replied that he would never do such a thing again. He said that he could not dedicate himself to his wife and to philosophy at the same time. And he added that he didn't want to take on anything that was contrary to philosophical research. In fact, Abelard also feels the same way in this regard, but he is more concerned that he does not want to leave Eloise, if he does not marry her, she will be under the guardianship of her uncle, and everything must be arranged by his uncle. And her uncle didn't want to marry her to him at all. So, he had to convince her to marry him.

But when it came to the hindrance of marriage to philosophical research, the Parisian woman began to murmur again, saying, "What are the conditions of a decent marriage as you have observed?" and without waiting for him to reply, she said, "what is the harmony and unity that can be achieved between the scholar and the housekeeper, between the author and the cradle, between the bookcase and the dining table and the winding board, between the stylus and the spindle?" Who among those who are devoted to religious and philosophical reflection can endure the crying of their children, who will calm them down with a nursing lullaby, or who can endure the hustle and bustle of family life? Who can stand the constant mess and messiness of their children? You can answer that the rich can do this, because they have palaces or many houses, because they have a lot of wealth, they don't have to worry about expenses, and they can protect them from the worries of daily expenses. But philosophers have no such wealth. Moreover, those whose brains are pretended to be worldly and rich will not have time for religious and philosophical studies. Therefore, those senior and famous philosophers have extreme contempt for the world, so that they flee from the dangers of secular society, rather than reluctantly renunciating them and denying themselves all their pleasures. So that they can dive into the bosom of philosophy on their own. Seneca, the greatest of them, in his advice to Luciris, says that philosophy is not something to be learned only in a few hours of leisure, and that if you want to dedicate yourself to it, you must give up everything else. Because no amount of time you put into philosophy is enough. ”