Lovers (novella) Zhang Baotong 2017.8.6

On that day, I met my classmate Lin Yuqing in elementary and middle school on the way to our railway family area, although she was an old lady in her fifties, but when I saw her for the first time, I still felt that she was like her in my dreams, or the 14-year-old young girl 40 years ago, this impression has existed in my mind for 40 years, and has appeared in my memory countless times, so this impression and memory have been deeply rooted and cannot be changed.

In fact, she is old, her face has some senile wrinkles, there are some gray hairs on her head, and her waist is somewhat bent, but her expression and temperament still maintain the original characteristics: delicate, beautiful, orthodox and intelligent. It was what I consider to be the most beautiful, glamorous, and poetic look of a woman.

I felt as if this was one of my countless dreams, but this dream was real. I have dreamed of her many times in my life, but I never expected to meet her here. I called her name in surprise, Lin Yuqing, like calling my lover in a dream. She stopped in front of me, looked at me for a moment, and asked me who I was. Her reaction made me feel embarrassed and disappointed, did I become too old for her to recognize? I said I was Gao Baocheng.

When she recognized me, she looked very excited and said, "Ah, it's Baocheng." We haven't seen each other in years. You still look very young. I was flattered by this, we have many classmates who have not seen each other for many years, and the first thing we say when we meet is that you are much older, or that I don't recognize you anymore. But her surprise was not that we met again after 40 years of separation, but that she felt that I was still young. I don't think she's complimenting me, because most of our classmates work in the Railway Engineering Office, and they work very hard all year round, building railways, and they naturally seem old-fashioned. It's not like I've been sitting in an office for many years, and the wind doesn't blow or rain.

Because she had two companions next to her, I couldn't say much to her, so I asked her when she would come back and when she would leave. She said that she had been back for more than half a year and had been nursing her sick father. She asked me when I would come back and when I would leave, and then she said when we would have a good chat together.

In the afternoon, I went to visit her with a book I had written, "The Yearning of the Heart". Actually, I visited her and had a good chat with her. I use the word visit because I take it very seriously, and I have been looking forward to seeing her for 40 years. And this book is what I deliberately want to give her, in addition to dazzling her, the main thing is to express a heart and mood: this book is what I wrote for her. She is the love of my life, and this book is my love letter to her.

When I came to her house, she seemed very happy. Because it is the second day of the Lunar New Year, there are many fruit plates on the table, including peanuts, melon seeds, candy and fruits. She sat me in the living room, poured me tea, and peeled an orange for me to eat. This is our first meeting after 40 years of separation. 40 years is a surprising time for anyone, and she is the lover I have always admired and loved.

I gave her the book in my hand, with my signature and message on it. She looked very surprised, and said, "You have all published books?" She took the book very solemnly with both hands, turned a few pages, read it for a while, and read it aloud. Her voice is very beautiful and beautiful, just like when she led the class to read aloud in the fourth grade, I can still feel the kind of pure and flowing, full of emotion, melodious and frustrating, and can bring people to a peaceful and beautiful realm. This is the best and most proud book I have ever written, a collection of prose and poetry that I have written with the best years and the best mood of my whole life, pouring my life's poetry and beauty into it. The reason I want to write this book with sincerity and devotion is that I want to give it to her when I can see her. Let her taste and feel my gratitude and love for her all her life. This is despite the fact that the book has been reprinted three times and has sold more than 30,000 copies. But actually, it's a book I'm writing for her.

In her poetic recitation, the beautiful poetry collection is like a poetry recitation with soundtrack, which makes us suddenly immersed in a kind of time and space full of flowers and willows and colorful clouds, and the heavenly sound is like a snowflake rolling in the sky to move people's hearts. After reading a passage, she stopped, jumped excitedly, and said that the writing was so good, so beautiful. Po Cheng, you are amazing, you are a great poet and writer.

I didn't expect her to give me such a high evaluation. I have the impression that many colleagues and acquaintances have read this collection of prose and poetry of mine, and at best they say that it is well written, or that you are really talented. Of course, there are people who call me a poet and a writer, but no one has ever said that I am a great poet and writer. I know that the reason why I am not valued by people is because this collection of prose poems has not brought me much economic benefit. Originally, I had to publish a poetry collection at my own expense, but it was because of my good writing that the publisher didn't let me pay for it, but it didn't give me the manuscript fee. In this era when everything is about money, no matter how good you are, as long as you can't turn it into economic benefits, people will think that you are doing useless work.

I've never felt anything great about myself, let alone the word great. On the contrary, I am a pessimist, and I always feel that I have worked hard for decades in my life, and I have almost achieved nothing, let alone become a person like Chen Zhongzhong or Jia Pingwa, and even the kind of ordinary writer who can earn some manuscript fees in three days in a literary journal, and can only drummer some such carving skills. However, being able to say that I am great and great from her mouth makes me really feel great and great.

At this time, her parents returned from visiting the New Year. I hurriedly got up and said to them, "Happy New Year, Mom Limbering." "Her father, who was 90 years old and had mild Alzheimer's disease, looked at me with that very flat and unfamiliar gaze. Her mother, who is also over 80 years old, looked at me and asked me whose child are you? My classmate said that he was the second son of the Lao Yan family, and a classmate in our class was named Gao Baocheng. Because my stepfather's surname is Yan, our family is called Lao Yan's family by the people in the family area. Her mother looked at me carefully and said, "Are you Baocheng, who works in Xi'an?"

My classmates told their parents that Bao Chengdu had published a book. As he spoke, he waved the book in his hand for them to read. It seemed that they were not interested in books, so they just nodded and asked me, "I heard your mother say that you are the deputy secretary of the street office?" I said yes. In their eyes, it was much more important for me to be the deputy secretary than for me to publish a book.

After saying a few words, the two old men went into the bedroom to watch TV. The two of us were left in the living room chatting face-to-face. Thinking about the old classmates who have often gathered over the years, some lovers who have not seen each other for many years meet each other, and the two of them hug each other and cry bitterly. However, the two of us met very peacefully, just like two friends who came back from a business trip to see each other again.

She put the book on the table in front of her, and said to me in a curious tone that you used to be unknown in the class, but I didn't expect you to be the most promising person in your classmates. She obviously made my life story a bit legendary, and I loved seeing her joyful and adoring look and feeling. After all, she is the lover I have admired for many years, and her actions have not only had a great impact on my past, but will also continue to have an important impact on my future. So, I crave her evaluation and recognition, and I also want her to know about my past experiences. After all, I am a child from a poor family, and it is not easy for me to achieve a little bit of success in a strange big city. So, I told her that since we were separated, I went to high school again, went to the countryside, went to Xi'an to take my father's class, and then took the school entrance examination, became a teacher, and then transferred to the party office and district committee office of the Education Bureau, and finally became the deputy secretary of the neighborhood office.

She said that she wanted to have a class reunion and reunite the whole class, maybe in Hefei or Huangshan, but in short, it was not entirely determined, because it was the location of the Fourth Iron Bureau, and almost all of our classmates from the six Iron Middle School were there. As she spoke, she opened the photos of the classmates she had contacted for me to see, there were more than 30 in total, because these classmates had already moved to Anhui and had never been to Miluo for decades, so they had never seen them again. In my impression, those boys and girls are only fourteen or fifteen years old, and they are full of vigor and vitality. But these photos in front of me are all fat, thin, old, and full of white hair. I kept shaking my head because I didn't recognize any of the people here.