Wife and mother Zhang Baotong 2016.8.18

Not long ago, I saw two pieces of news that made me sigh and sigh, and I felt very uncomfortable. Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 info One is "The wife is forced to die and does not live with her mother-in-law, and the man rents a house and hides his mother for nine years". It is said that Liu Xiangli, the son-in-law of Xichang, has shouldered the two "families" in the past 9 years, one is his mother and the other is his wife. In order to take care of the two most important women in his life, he worked three jobs a day, one salary to support his mother, and one salary to his wife. He kept it a secret, hid his mother for 9 years, and supported him for 9 years. Seeing this news, I was both moved and saddened, feeding the elderly mother is the responsibility and obligation we should fulfill, and it is the traditional virtue of our Chinese nation, but Liu Xiangli's feeding mother is like doing underground work.

The second news is that Gao Fengshou, a villager in Daxian Village, Xingtai, resolutely waded through the waistless water to the other side of the village to save his mother when the flood hit, and when he climbed on the roof to find that his wife and two young sons had climbed to the roof of his house to escape. So, he went to save his mother, and when he returned to the village after the flood receded, his wife had already taken the family's only 2,000 yuan and left with her children. The reason for his wife's departure is more like a cruel black humor given to Gao Fengfeng by the great flood - in the multiple-choice question of "who will save the daughter-in-law and mother when they fall into the water at the same time", he "seeks the near and far" and instinctively chooses the latter.

The wife and mother are the two most important women in a man's life. Losing any of them was unacceptable to him. His mother was the woman who gave birth to him and raised him, and she gave him the love of her whole life and pinned her life's hopes on him. I remember that after my father died, my mother used to earn some money by washing clothes for the workers on the construction site, and it was ************ time, and my mother used to go to the fields where the farmers had dug up sweet potatoes to cut sweet potatoes, and finally dug up a little sweet potato, so she boiled it in an iron pot, and gave the pieces of sweet potatoes to my brother first, because he had to go to school far away, and then let my sister and I drink the thick soup, and she only drank the rest of the thin soup.

In this world, our mother's love for us is unwavering, unselective and unconditional. She is the source of our love, the driving force for us to forge ahead, and the sustenance and comfort in our hearts. Many experiments have proved that in the most painful and dangerous moments, the first thing people think of and call is "Mom". Not to mention how good our mother is to us, even if she is pregnant for ten months and brings us to this wonderful world, we should be grateful and repay for a lifetime.

However, after the poor mother raised us, she grew old day by day, especially after the father left, the mother became even more lonely and pitiful. She has no job, no income, and needs food for our children. For those of us who have jobs and a steady income, this is not a problem. However, for those families who are poor, mothers seem to have become a heavy burden and burden. I saw a family of four sons and one daughter in a poor mountainous area on the program "Economy and Law", but they were unwilling to feed their mother in her 80s. Even if each person gives the elderly a hundred yuan a month, they claim that they can't take it out. I feel so sorry for that mother. I don't know how she raised so many children in the past, how she married and built a house for them to start a family.

In contrast, I really admire Liu Xiangli, a 50-year-old rural man who had no choice but to compromise and agree to send his mother home when his wife was forced to die and not live with his mother-in-law, but rented a house in Xichang City to hide his mother and support him. In the past 9 years, he has told thousands of lies to his wife, and behind each lie is full of exhaustion; in the past 9 years, he has worn three hats, desperately earning money, supporting his wife and children and the most important woman in his life; in 9 years, he has quietly hidden this woman, and can only secretly find some time to accompany him. Because he knows that we are the flesh of his mother, that we are the love of his mother's heart, and that we are the dependence of his poor mother. Even if we are ashamed of anyone, we cannot be ashamed of our mother.

The wife is our lover and the person who accompanies us for life, and her love for us and the love of our mother for us are two completely different concepts. Mothers can give everything for us, but we can't ask our wives to do the same. We are related to our mothers by blood, and we are only in love with our wives. These two relationships are incomparable, and if you really want to put these two women on the scales of your life, I am afraid that it will be very difficult for many men. Therefore, the proposition of "who will save the wife and mother when they fall into the water at the same time" is actually embarrassing the man. Therefore, there will never be an answer to this proposition.

However, the Xingtai flood this summer really caused this problem to the high harvest in Daxian Village. When he saw that his wife and children were safe, he rushed to save his elderly mother. However, his choice caused him unprecedented embarrassment and pain.

Why are these two important women in a man's life incompatible from ancient times to the present? No matter how hard the daughter-in-law tries, the mother-in-law will not treat her as a daughter, nor will she feel distressed and grateful to her. On the contrary, no matter how good the mother-in-law is, she is a cow and a horse, washing clothes and cooking, and some daughters-in-law will not appreciate it and will not be able to appreciate her hard work. The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law seem to be incompatible. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in ordinary people's families is like this, and wealthy celebrity families are actually no exception.

Why is it intolerable for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to be in the water? Because the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is neither a marriage relationship nor a blood relationship, but a special relationship formed by the mediation of the above two relationships. Therefore, this kind of interpersonal relationship does not have the stability of parent-child relationship, and the intimacy of marriage relationship. It is formed by the extension of the parent-child relationship and the relationship between husband and wife. If the relationship is handled well, the mother-in-law will love her daughter-in-law because she loves her son, and the daughter-in-law will love her mother-in-law because she loves her husband. If the relationship is not handled well, there will be an irreparable rift between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

For men, it is actually difficult to encounter such a choice as "who will save the wife and mother when they fall into the water at the same time". And men are also reluctant to put their wives and mothers on the same scale. However, there is still a very clear tendency in the hearts of men when it comes to dealing with mothers and wives. Shortly after marriage, men may prefer younger and more beautiful wives, but as they get older, they will value their mothers more seriously. There is a thought that has always been hidden in their hearts, that is, a mother's love cannot be separated, but a wife can be divorced and remarried. It's just that for various reasons, men are reluctant to divorce their wives because divorce will affect their normal family life. Therefore, he had to balance the relationship between his wife and his mother.

The actions of Liu Xiangli in Xichang and Gao Fengshou in Xingtai are actually the inevitable choice of most men. They are good sons of their mothers and good sons of the Chinese nation. Presumably, all the good Chinese men will be moved and applauded by their actions.

At the same time, we are also thinking that as women, we are destined to play the dual role of wife and mother. If you can cherish your daughter-in-law when you are a mother-in-law, and when you are a wife, you can be filial to your mother-in-law, isn't this a matter of harmony and happiness? Therefore, when a wife is a wife, it is best not to test a man with the choice of "who will save the wife and mother when they fall into the water at the same time", let alone treat a man's mother in the same way as Liu Xiangli and Gao Fengshou's wife. Because you have no idea where the mother is in their hearts.