(One hundred and two)

Sleepless nights, feeling nostalgic for the past, and the hearts of the deceased parents are infinitely sad

In the northeast in December, the wind is cold and the snow is flying. On the vast land, covered in silver, a long green dragon passes through the village and Yuetun, all the way north.

Ling Feng sat on the bed, looking at the snow, his thoughts were wandering and bittersweet.

In the winter of ninety-eight, Ling Feng returned to Mudanjiang from Qiqihar alone, of course he was happy to see his parents, but the following days were very sad, not about work, but from the invisible pressure of his parents, who had children like neighbors, who got married, and so on. Especially Honghao led Jingjing, who was pregnant, to visit Ling Feng at home to visit the returnee, which made her mother nag endlessly, no wonder her parents said that they went to Qiqihar to work together, one went home early with his wife to complete the marriage, and the other slipped back alone and physically and mentally exhausted.

After the Spring Festival, Ling Feng originally thought that he should take this opportunity to catch up with his classmates and friends after walking for more than half a year, but some of the classmates, friends and past colleagues he saw one after another during the Spring Festival were all in pairs, and they had no free time to talk to an unemployed vagrant.

Seeing everyone's happy expressions, Ling Feng couldn't help but feel a little depressed in his heart, and went to Suifenhe alone on the sixth day of the Lunar New Year. Suifenhe is a small border city in the east of the Mudanjiang River, which is under the jurisdiction of Mudanjiang City. You can take a train or a car to Suifenhe, Ling Feng thought that he would have to return that day, so he chose to take a small passenger, so that he didn't have to wait for the train, and he could save the trouble of not finding the long-distance bus stop when he returned.

Ling Feng set off early in the morning, and after sitting for more than two hours, the little guest finally arrived at Suifenhe City, a small border city. After getting off the bus, Ling Feng memorized the bus route and began to wander around the city, not expecting to meet Kewen, but just wanting to tell himself on a spiritual level that Kewen was nearby. Mudanjiang is a small city, Suifen River is smaller than Mudanjiang, and the road is not as flat as Mudanjiang. Finally, Ling Feng climbed a temple on the top of a lake mountain, looked at the plaque called Daguang Temple, stood on the top of the mountain, Ling Feng shouted: "Kewen, are you okay? I have come to accompany you for the New Year, I wish your future life will be like this temple, and you will always be bright and lucky." ”

"Kewen, I'm sorry, I'm at the age of getting married and having children, I can't stand my mother's anxious look and my father's expectant eyes, although my heart is very sad, but I want to make my parents smile. Ling Feng secretly thought about the little guest who returned to Mudanjiang, and was determined to seal this love affair with Kewen in the deepest part of his heart.

After fulfilling his wish, he was relieved, it was nothing more than the heavens punishing his inattentiveness in his previous life, what else could he do if this was already the case? Ling Feng's indignation woke up Grandma Yue's clear dream, and Grandma Yue threw down a red thread in disgust.

After the Spring Festival in 99, the uncle came to the house to protect the media, saying that it was an old neighborhood, and there was a daughter in the family who was thirty years old and unmarried, so Ling Feng would not refute the uncle's face. In fact, at that time, Ling Feng was already dead to marriage, and he didn't mind being two years older at all, did he still have the right to choose his girlfriend? What kind of work, family, it is not a problem, as long as there is a girl who is willing to accept herself. As for the dream, it is just a dream, the initiative is in her, she came to Mudanjiang, she is not familiar with the place, the insurance job cannot be done, the job of the tutor has to be found now, is she willing to give up everything she is familiar with now and go to herself?

The day the uncle agreed to meet was an ordinary day, and Ling Feng saw a familiar face.

"Yajun, why are you?" Ling Feng stayed on the spot.

"Ling Feng, is it really you?" Yajun's face was full of joy.

"Xiaofeng, now that you know each other, I won't introduce you, you can talk about it yourself. "Uncle left.

Thank you for coming to my house last time to send letters and photos to my mother. Ling Feng expressed his gratitude in person.

"That's nothing, when did you come back? Aren't you going back to Qiqihar?" Yajun asked.

"I came back a year ago, but if I don't go back, my parents are looking forward to me getting married?", Ling Feng replied.

“……”

Mudanjiang City is so small, and the world is so wonderful. Ling Feng and Yajun chatted about the past, the present, and the future, as if they had endless words. Yajun brought the album to Ling Feng to see, and Ling Feng found that Yajun after makeup was so charming, and the most important thing was that Yajun didn't care about Ling Feng's temporary unemployment and family conditions.

The relationship between Ling Feng and Yajun developed rapidly, and the wedding date was set in April of 99. The parents vacated the house to Ling Feng and lived in the idle bungalow of Ling Feng's second sister's house. In order to decorate the wedding room, Ling Feng racked his brains, designed and made furniture by himself, laid simple floors by himself, and did everything himself. And Yajun is like a fairy who does not eat fireworks in the world, never picks and chooses, and the idea of not being influenced by material desires deeply moved Ling Feng.

On May 30, 1999, Ling Feng and Yajun held a wedding. Looking at his parents' relieved smiles, Ling Feng cried, his parents' satisfaction was the happiest thing for him, who would understand the sadness of crying with joy.

Looking at the virtuous and gentle Yajun, Ling Feng woke up to the fact that a person with an open mind will eventually warm his body and mind.

The happiness that Yajun brought to Ling Feng was not only reflected in marriage, but also in psychology. Yajun had a job as a staff member of a ** agency before she got married, but there was no formal establishment. Two days before the wedding, the organization held an addendum meeting, and a month later held an entrance examination. Yajun got his wish with his superhuman mind and gave the little family enough financial security.

Before Ling Feng went to Qiqihar, the first hurdle on the issue of dealing with the object was work, but the most important hurdle was the family condition, except for Xia Hui, Ling Feng was eliminated on the issue of work. But Yajun didn't mind either, there was no opinion at all about the ignition room of more than 20 square meters as a wedding room, and for work problems, Ling Feng only understood after marriage that Yajun's family had the ability to arrange a decent job for Ling Feng.

In this way, in the envious eyes of classmates, friends, and former colleagues, Ling Feng started his new journey......

The lights in the sleeper are on, and the conductor wakes up the passengers who are about to arrive at the station to change the tickets. Ling Feng woke up from his dream, turned on his mobile phone and saw that it was almost two o'clock in the morning, and he was almost in Harbin, and he was not far from the end point when he arrived in Harbin.

Harbin is the capital of Heilongjiang Province and is a major access point in and out of Heilongjiang Province. From here, turn northwest to the vast Songnen Plain, and southeast into the depths of the mountains of Zhangguangcailing. Mudanjiang City is like a pearl, embedded in the mountains on the border of the motherland.

The train continued to splode, and a little light flashed outside the window from time to time, disturbing Ling Feng's sleepiness. How is his son now? Has he grown a little taller and fatter again? Thinking of his son, Ling Feng couldn't sleep even more.

The father was looking forward to holding his grandson and looking forward to a male successor, but after all, he couldn't look forward to the day when his grandson was born.

Half a year after Ling Feng and Yajun got married, their father died. At that time, Yajun was pregnant, but she didn't know if it was a boy or a girl, and Ling Feng didn't deliberately ask the doctor. In Ling Feng's heart, there is no concept of patriarchy, it's just that his father wants to hold his grandson, so he subconsciously hopes that Yajun is pregnant with a son.

"In life, you must dare to do it, and don't regret it. ”

This was taught by a teacher when Ling Feng was on the power university. Ling Feng knew that the teacher meant to teach students to think twice before doing things, and if they thought about it, they should do it, and they should not regret it.

Ling Feng did not reach this realm, and there are three things that have been lingering so far: one is when he was in high school, he said to his face that Yingshun did not need to be shy about his father's death, the second was to lose Kewen in Qiqihar, and the third was that when his father left, he didn't know that there was a male who could continue the incense.

Father left with regret like this, it was a cold season, three or four o'clock in the morning, Ling Feng was still asleep.

"Knock, knock, knock. There was a sharp knock on the door.

Ling Feng hurriedly put on his clothes and shoes and went to the ground, and as soon as he walked to the door, he heard sobbing outside the door.

"Xiaofeng, open the door quickly, your dad can't do it. Mother's voice rang out outside the door.

"Mom, what are you talking about, my dad ......" Ling Feng opened the door and saw his crying mother, his heart was broken.

"Don't ask, come with me. Mother didn't have time to elaborate, urging Ling Feng to leave quickly.

After Ling Feng said a few words to Yajun who came to the door in front of him in his clothes, he followed his mother to the idle bungalow of the second sister's house where his parents lived.

As soon as he entered the house and saw his father lying peacefully on the kang, Ling Feng's tears flowed out.

"In the middle of the night, your dad couldn't sleep again, he sat up and kept coughing, I turned on the light and saw your dad coughing and vomiting blood, and slowly lay down, I saw that your dad was not good, so I quickly dressed your dad. The mother burst into tears as she spoke.

Next, Ling Feng was completely stunned for his father's entire funeral, and he would only keep wiping his tears......

His father died, but Ling Feng went farther and farther on the road of unfilial piety. So, a picture that I can't forget for a lifetime appeared: in a piece of demolition and relocation, a young man returned home alone, a few steps back, in front of a hut outside the demolition area, an old woman with white hair, looking at the young man who was far away, every time the young man turned back, the old woman raised her shriveled palm and waved, in the cold wind, the white hair danced with the wind, and the sad young man burst into tears.

This young man who returned home was Ling Feng, who went to see his mother every day for a few days after his father's death. Seeing that his mother was alone, Ling Feng had the heart to stay, but Yajun, who was pregnant, was still looking forward to going home. took his mother home to live together, Yajun pointed to the living environment of about 20 square meters and shook his head. Ling Feng could only sigh that he was a strict wife, and he was an unfilial son who married a daughter-in-law and forgot his mother.

What made Ling Feng most uncomfortable was the first Spring Festival when his son was born, the weather was cold and the house was cold, and Yajun took his son back to his parents' house. In the thirtieth year of the Chinese New Year's Eve, Ling Feng specially returned from his mother-in-law's house, lit a fire to warm the house, stir-fried and cooked, burned paper money for his father with his mother, and drank wine, ate, and watched the Spring Festival Gala together. Early in the morning of the first day of the Lunar New Year, when Ling Feng was about to leave, he found his mother standing outside the house secretly wiping her tears......

With his mother on one side, his daughter-in-law and son on the other, Ling Feng was caught in the middle and was at a loss, so he had to work hard to make money, and eight years had passed.

Two years ago, that is, in January 08, at the beginning of the housing price in Mudanjiang City, Ling Feng and Yajun finally had a new house of more than 70 square meters, but before they moved in, their mother was sick, and they couldn't afford to be sick. In the days when his mother was seriously ill and admitted to the hospital, Ling Feng never left. I blame myself and regret that I usually don't accompany my mother well and don't take good care of my mother.

Just after New Year's Day in 09, the lonely mother went to heaven to reunite with her father, and Ling Feng's spiritual world collapsed from then on.

In the first month, Ling Feng went out for a walk all day as if he was sick, and walked all day to the street garden where his mother frequented. Until the day before the Spring Festival, Ling Feng met his friend Xu Gang in the street garden.

"Xu Gang, when did you come back?" Seeing his friend at first glance, Ling Feng was a little excited.

"Brother, our mother is driving away, I'm coming back late. Xu Gang first apologized.

Ling Feng couldn't help it, hugged Xu Gang and cried bitterly, finally there was someone who could understand him, was willing to cry with him, and listened to his grievances.

Xu Gang accompanied Ling Feng, let Ling Feng vent to his heart's content, and then took Ling Feng's shoulder and came to the tavern not far away.

Order two small dishes at random, pour beer, and the brothers can talk to each other.

"I hated myself for not being able to spend time with my mother. Ling Feng blamed himself.

"You can't be blamed for this, you have a family, and you have to run for the family. Xu Gang persuaded.

"I am not filial, and after my father died, I left my mother alone in that bungalow. Ling Feng felt remorseful.

"I met my sister-in-law when I came, and she told me that you had a hard time, and you ran back and forth between your mother-in-law's house and your own mother's house, and you did a good enough job. Asahi was just kind of comforting.

"Mother is actually willing to live with me, but I know this, but I can not meet her old man's wishes, my mother is very lonely, every time I go to see her, she is in the middle of the street garden around and around, when the weather is warm, other old people with grandchildren to play, my mother just look at it, I look sad. Ling Feng said bitterly about the unbearable past.

"We have to satisfy the old man's wishes, but sometimes we are forced by life! You are like me, so far away from your parents, you can't do this aspect, who makes us poor." Xu Gang also sighed.

The depression in Ling Feng's heart was poured out, and Xu Gang was specially enlightened. In the end, Xu Gang invited Ling Feng to go to Shenzhen to relax after the New Year, Ling Feng was distracted and had no intention of working, so he went home to discuss with Yajun, and followed Xu Gang to Shenzhen after the Spring Festival, and stayed for more than half a year.

The conductor began to turn on the lights to change tickets for the passengers again, Ling Feng looked out the window, the sky was already bright, and the three-faced Buddha on the top of the mountain was smiling kindly to all beings.

Hailin Bao'en Temple arrived, and the moment the red-walled temple flashed on the steep cliff, Ling Feng cried again. On the hillside not far from here is the Hailin Longfengpo Cemetery, where the father and mother are laid to rest, and they must have seen their son return.