The Ladder of Love (Part II) Zhang Baotong 2017.10.10

That afternoon, our whole family was in full swing building a house, and there was no one to take care of our 5-year-old son, Chensheng. He was playing next to us, but after a long time, I realized that Chensheng was gone, so I shouted 'baby' and looked for him down the slope, but in the dung pit on the edge of the ground, I saw his whole body floating on the dung water. I cried and pulled him out of the dung pit. However, he was cold, and he had long since run out of breath.

We buried the baby at the edge of the forest, and I cried for days. When such a thing happened, how could I still build a house, and my children and I sat on the edge of the forest all day, watching our son's grave and crying non-stop. The young man had to silently lay the adobe alone, and continued to build the house.

I was so careless, I didn't take good care of my son, and I blamed myself so much that I couldn't forgive myself. I refused to eat, I refused to sleep, I only knew how to cry vigorously. In the evening, when the young man saw that I was still weeping, he came to comfort me. And he said to me, 'Do you regret it, shouldn't you go up to this mountain?' I regret it, I regret it very much. But I can't say that to him. Because I volunteered to go up the mountain in the first place, not by force. Moreover, he took me and the child up the mountain for my sake, and didn't want me to be the wife of the dry old man surnamed Sun. For this, he did not know how much sacrifice was made. If he hadn't been for me, he could have married someone else. He has come to this point today for the sake of me. Therefore, I can't say such things even if I regret and regret it. I said to him, 'I have no regrets, as long as you love me, I will go up the sword mountain and go down to the sea of fire, and I am willing.' He put his arms around me for a long time and said, 'I will love you all my life.' ’

It was getting colder and colder, and in the morning there was a layer of hoarfrost on the ground and on the trees. When the sun comes out, the entire summit is bright, making people feel refreshed and refreshed. We got up early and worked in the dark for more than a month, and the house was finally built. On that day, we moved the contents of the cave to the new house. I really felt at home. We were very happy in the new tiled house. At this time, a bumper harvest of corn planted in the field was also in sight. It seemed that we were going to live a few days, but unexpectedly, overnight, the corn made a mess of the monkeys. We were so angry that we had to gather the rest of the corn for future food.

Soon, it snowed. When I woke up in the morning, I saw snowflakes falling all over the mountains. The entire summit and between the mountains are covered with snow. That's when I thought it was time for the Chinese New Year. However, we have been in the mountains for so long that we can't remember the days, and we can't remember exactly which day is the New Year, and besides, our family has nothing, nothing, and no way to celebrate the New Year. That day, I said to the young man, 'We won't have a New Year?' and the young man said, 'Nothing, why don't we have a New Year?', so we didn't have a New Year.

But I know that as soon as the New Year is over, it will be spring, and the children should go to school. It doesn't matter if the New Year is over, but the children's school cannot be delayed. So I said to the young man, 'I'm afraid that as soon as the snow stops, it will be spring.' It's time for the kids to go to school, too. The young man said, 'Yes, as soon as the snow stops, I will take the children down the mountain.' When the time comes, you will come down the mountain with me to meet your parents, who have been thinking about you. ’

We've been up the mountain for more than half a year, but my children and I haven't come down yet. When I heard that I was going down the mountain, I was excited for several days. The children danced with joy as if the days of suffering were coming to an end. However, on the night before I actually went down the mountain, I began to hesitate again, and I thought about it all night, and finally I still thought that I could not go down the mountain. I'm afraid to see people, I'm afraid to see my past in-laws, I'm afraid to see people in the village, and I'm even afraid to see my current in-laws. But what I think about the most is that my son is gone, if someone asks me what if I am born? How should I answer? My son is dead, this is God's punishment for me, because I didn't abide by women's morals, violated the rules of heaven, and eloped with the person I liked, so God punished me with my son. Therefore, I didn't have the face to go down the mountain to see my parents and fellow villagers, let alone my in-laws.

The next day, the snow on the mountain had melted, and the ground was already somewhat dry. The sun rises over the eastern mountains, illuminating the entire mountain with a very fresh and bright light. In the morning, I get up early to cook. After eating, the children are going down the mountain and are about to leave here. They have suffered a lot in the mountains with me in the past six months, and I really want them to go down to the mountains and live a normal life. However, when they walked like this, I felt very uncomfortable and reluctant, as if they were going to cut off a piece of my flesh. It was not easy to go up and down the mountain, and once they left, they didn't know when they would come back. So, when the meal was ready, I didn't eat, so I sat in the room and wiped my tears.

The children, dressed cleanly and smiling, were waiting for us on the grass in front of the house as if they were for the New Year. After not seeing me come out for a long time, the young man said to the children, 'You are leaving, your mother is so sad, go and say goodbye to your mother.' When the children came into the house, they saw that I was crying, and they cried, 'Mommy,' and they put their arms around me and started crying. Watching the children cry, I cried even harder, and kept saying, 'You have to come to see me often.'" The children nodded vigorously.

The young man said to me, 'Today is a good day, don't cry, you won't see each other again.' If we want to see the children, we can go down the mountain together. I wiped away my tears and said to the children, 'I'm not with you, you have to listen to your grandparents and study hard.' The children said, 'Yes.' So I got up from the bed and dragged the children out of the house.

I'm going to send my kids down the mountain. The lad took the basket on his back and walked in front, and the children and I walked behind. Looking at the children, I felt so uncomfortable, thinking that when I went up the mountain half a year ago, I took the four of them up to the mountain, but now that I have gone down the mountain, there is one less person. Thinking of this, I whimpered again. The young man came back and let the children go ahead, and he put his arm around me and helped me forward, and asked, 'What do you think of again?' and I said, 'Chensheng is gone, so I'm useless.' The young man said, 'You can't be blamed for that.' I said, 'It's that I don't have to look favorably on him.'" The young man kept trying to persuade me, but the more he tried to persuade me, the more I cried.

I walked in front of a straight slope, and below was a cliff, which was twenty or thirty meters deep. For safety, the young man tied a rope around the children's waist and let them go down one by one. When the children all went down to the bottom of the cliff. The young man said to me, 'Don't cry anymore, it makes me look so heartbroken.' I nodded, holding back tears. When he saw that I was not crying, he slowly descended to the bottom of the cliff. Then the children shouted at me together, 'Goodbye, Mommy!' and I couldn't hold back my tears as they watched them go. I said to them, 'Baby, be obedient. The children said, 'Yes.' ’”