(xi)

Suspicious of worshipping money, mistakenly believing rumors, guessing goodbye, crying and looking back

At the beginning of the new year, the snow is light. Ling Feng thought about his thoughts, and when he looked up, he saw the sculpture of the eight women throwing themselves into the river, and it turned out that he had arrived at the riverside park. The festive Jiangbin Park was sparsely populated and slightly deserted, and Ling Feng unconsciously walked slowly along the riverside road towards the Jiangbin New Area.

"Can Yingshun come back for the New Year? Let's go to her house to have a look. ”

So, Ling Feng, who was in a bad mood, couldn't stop this friendship with Yingshun and went to Yingshun's house. Yingshun really came back from other places for the New Year, but unfortunately Yingshun and Shuhan went out together.

Ling Feng was not in the mood to go to other classmates to pay New Year's greetings, and returned home lonely. His father informed Ling Feng that two girls had come to the house to celebrate the New Year.

"Could it be Yingshun and Shuhan? I went to Jiangbin New District, but they came to my house?" Thinking like this, Ling Feng's mood improved a lot.

On the street in the second year of junior high school, Ling Feng met Wen Hai, and heard Wen Hai say that he was going to Yingshun's house to pay New Year's greetings, so he followed Wenhai to the door of Yingshun's house. Soon after the doorbell rang, the door opened, and it was Yingshun who opened the door.

"Happy New Year, Happy New Year. "Ling Feng, Wen Hai and Ying Shun worship each other.

Seeing Yingshun, Ling Feng was a little excited and wanted to hug her. It can be seen that Yingshun is also very excited, and they feel as if they have met each other in a foreign country. Although he was excited, Ling Feng was very calm on the surface, because Wen Hai was there and there was the chatting of female classmates in the room. So, after entering the house, everyone sat together and chatted, and time flew by in pleasure. Near noon, Ling Feng and Wen Hai reluctantly said goodbye, and when they left, Ying Shun asked Ling Feng to meet again on the fourth day of the new year.

On the third day of the first lunar month, Ling Feng's eldest brother and sister-in-law went back to their parents' house, and if they didn't come back at night, the task of looking at the house fell on Ling Feng's shoulders. In the afternoon, Ling Feng found Yan Tao and Zhili and came to the eldest brother's house together, they prepared some wine and food, and sat together while drinking and chatting, chatting and chatting about Yingshun.

"I heard that Yingshun dumped the original object and made a big deal of money?" Yan Tao looked at Ling Feng with an inquiring gaze.

"Who did you listen to?" Ling Feng was a little annoyed.

"Listening to what the girls in our class said, I also heard that the man is five years older than Yingshun and can have six or seven hundred thousand. ”

"No, these are rumors. Although Ling Feng didn't know anything about Ying Shun, Ling Feng still answered very firmly.

Seeing that Ling Feng didn't believe it, Yan Tao stopped talking.

"Yan Tao, you showed me a love letter in the cinema shortly after the start of the first year of high school, do you know who it is?" Ling Feng saw that Yan Tao didn't speak, so he provoked the topic.

"Got it. Yan Tao habitually pushed his glasses.

"Then what happened to you, and are you still in touch?" Ling Feng is not a good gossip, he just doesn't want to be cold.

"A little girl, she loves unrealistic fantasies, we can't do it, but we are still friends, and Yingshun's thing is to listen to her. Yan Tao had a stubborn look on his face.

Ling Feng knew Yan Tao's family background, knew that he had lived in a single-parent family since he was a child, and he was a little paranoid about his thoughts on emotional matters. From graduating from high school to now, Yan Tao has gradually figured out his own way of survival, making a living by earning the difference in price for residents on behalf of liquefied steam. Although the classmate who wrote him a love letter is not 100% sure that it is Shuhan, judging from the fact that she can know about Yingshun, Shuhan is a little more likely. If it was really Shuhan who told Yan Tao, then Yingshun's matter...... , Ling Feng had a slight shadow in his heart.

"Zhili, once in the autumn I rode a donkey to change the liquefied vapor and saw you, you still have a girl, it's a girlfriend, right?" When it came to emotional matters, Yan Tao suddenly remembered the autumn events.

"Yes, it's been over a year. Zhili was a little embarrassed.

On the fifteenth day of the first lunar month last year, I saw you at the Freezing Point Shop in the northwest corner of the Cultural Square. Ling Feng remembered the fifteenth day of the first lunar month and asked.

"It's still that, just after that time, you said you saw me, why didn't you call me?" Zhili's face was sincere.

"Yingshun didn't let me call you, for fear of affecting you. Ling Feng told the truth.

"You see Yingshun again, explain to me that I really have something to do on the fifteenth day of the first lunar month last year. Zhili was sincere again.

"Don't worry, I explained it last year, Yingshun understands you. Ling Feng confided the truth again.

......

In this way, Ling Feng, Zhili and Yan Tao thought of what to talk about, and the sea and the sky were open until late at night.

On the fourth day of the first month, Zhili had a class, and he went home the night before, and Yan Tao also said in the morning that he had something to say goodbye and left. So, Ling Feng had no choice but to come to Yingshun's house alone.

"We'll hang out in a moment. Ying Shun said as she welcomed Ling Feng into the house.

In the living room, Meiping, Ziyan, Shuhan, Xiaoqian, Jingyang, Wenhai and Luo Yong were chatting energetically, and Ling Feng, as an audience, heard some clues when he listened.

"Yingshun, where did you go last year?"

"I've gone to Shijiazhuang. ”

"Are you married?"

"Nope. ”

"Why aren't you married?"

"It's yellow. ”

"Hum one by one" Ling Feng's mind was blank, and the brief conversation reminded Ling Feng of Yan Tao's words last night.

"Could it be that what Yan Tao said is true?, how did she become like this?" Ling Feng asked himself over and over again on the way home, and his sadness also surged into his heart.

Looking back on the past year, how much Ling Feng missed his classmates, especially Ying Shun, and now? Everything has changed, it is no longer worth missing, can he still be friends with her?

Ling Feng, who was hurt, was unwilling to stay at Ying Shun's house anymore, and left under the pretext that there was something wrong, leaving Ying Shun's suspicious gaze behind him.

Back home, Ling Feng's heart was still sour, and he was listless in everything. In the evening, Ling Feng frowned, lying lazily on the sofa listening to the radio. Suddenly, a thought appeared in my mind, is what Yingshun is really what I imagined? Could there be another hidden secret? Thinking about it like this, the uncomfortable mood is better.

On the sixth day of the first lunar month, Ling Feng worked hard to write a letter in one go.

Yingshun:

Hello, I'm so happy to see you for the Chinese New Year. Before that, we hadn't seen each other for almost a year. I have a lot to say to you when I reunite with old friends, but I was in a hurry to meet you twice, and I didn't know what the situation would be when we met again, and my language skills were not strong, so I had to write to you.

Yingshun, during the days you left Mudanjiang City, I missed you very much. Yingshun, do you know? The past year has been a very bad and difficult year for me. In those unhappy and sad days, classmates, friends, especially you, have simply become my spiritual pillars, when things don't go well, look at the photos of classmates, think about you in the distance, my heart will feel a lot better. Yingshun, I think you will miss us in another country, right? In the past six months of work, in addition to experiencing the hardships of life, there is also the preciousness of friendship between classmates. As we get older, I think we'll all change, just in different degrees and directions, and I hope you don't let me down.

Yingshun, when I saw you during the New Year, I felt that you were a little strange. Because I know very little about you, and it's all my fault. In the past year, I have always thought that you are living a very happy and happy life in Shandong. Therefore, turn a blind eye to your situation to the point of listening to others talking about you. Yingshun, over the years, I have not only regarded you as my best friend, but also as my sister, and I still am. Therefore, I hope that if you have any troubles, troubles, sorrows, don't hide it from me, as your friend, I don't want to just share your happiness.

Yingshun, you have to leave again after the New Year, live alone in another country, take care of your body, don't take money too seriously, always report safety to your family, and come back a few more times during the New Year's holidays, because there are many people who miss you.

Yingshun, something happened to my family a few years ago, and I was in a very bad mood. I feel a lot relieved to be with you during the Spring Festival. "Don't seek to be rich and rich, just wish my family safety" is my biggest feeling this year. From this, I also thought of you, for your current affairs, I have some thoughts, I think you should not go to work in other places now, with your ability and do not need to rely on others, in Mudanjiang City, by the side of relatives, you will also do a career. I don't know the specific situation of you in another country last year, but I know that every day you work in a foreign country, your mother is thinking about you and worrying about you, and the reason why I have these thoughts is because in the past few years of life, I have felt more and more that I owe a lot to my parents, and I can no longer let my parents worry about me, in other words, I now look very lightly on fame and fortune, and I value family affection very seriously. It's late at night, I hope I'll see you tomorrow, and I hope I can hear you call me brother again. As I am about to conclude this letter, I would like to say to you once again: take care of your body when working in a foreign country, and don't let yourself be too tired.

Finally, I wish you a happy and happy time at home, a smooth and satisfactory work in another country, good health and peace.

Ling Feng

5 February 1995

On the afternoon of the seventh day of the first lunar month, Ling Feng came to Yingshun's house again with the letter, and when he entered the house, he saw Yingshun's mother, eldest brother, and an unknown girl sitting at the round table and shuffling cards, it turned out that they were playing mahjong. After being introduced, Ling Feng learned that this strange girl also worked in Shijiazhuang and lived with Yingshun.

The mahjong continued, and Ling Feng sat on the sidelines and seemed to watch the battle, but in fact he was thinking about how to give the letter to Yingshun. Soon, it was dark, and the strange girl said goodbye and went home. Ying Shun asked Ling Feng to give her a ride, and before going out, Ling Feng stuffed the letter to Ying Shun.

On the way home to send the strange girl home, Ling Feng asked her about Yingshun's situation in Shijiazhuang. The strange girl said that Yingshun's life in Shijiazhuang was not satisfactory, and she worked several odd jobs intermittently, suffered a lot of hardships and sins, and did not have cotton clothes to protect against the cold when it was cold in winter. Fortunately, their landlord was very helpful to Yingshun and helped a lot.

The fifteenth day of the first lunar month of this year coincided with Valentine's Day in the West, and Ling Feng went to Ying Shun's house regardless of the taboo of Valentine's Day, and the idea of wanting to talk to Ying Shun was very strong. Yingshun is staying at home to recuperate because of the occasional cold.

"I'm a little bird on a cliff, I used to have a place to live, but now I'm being squeezed off the cliff, and in order to survive, I have to spread my young wings and fly forward!" said Yingshun, describing what happened to her last year. As she spoke, her sad eyes traveled through time and space, and returned to 1994, which made her sad and indignant: "I hate him, I hate him for being spineless; I pity him, I pity him for marrying a woman I don't love against his will; I am unwilling, I am not willing to lose to that woman, that woman is older than Buren, and she is a widow." ”

In May 1994, Buren got married, and the bride was the sister of the manager of the company he worked for. Thousands of miles away in Mudanjiang City, Yingshun wanted to cry without tears, the day that was supposed to be her wedding, the boy who should have been her husband, the home that should have belonged to her, everything became a bubble. The heavy blow made Yingshun make the decision to leave Mudanjiang City, she wanted to go to Shanghai, but in the end she couldn't make the trip, but followed the "strange girl" she had just met to Shijiazhuang. During those days in Shijiazhuang, the landlord named Shixiang was very good to Yingshun and took care of Yingshun everywhere. I don't know if it's for the spiritual support, or the support of life, Yingshun finally accepted Shixiang, mentioning whether to love or not, Yingshun said that there was no feeling.

Time and space shuttled, time was in a hurry, Ying Shun narrated her story with emotion, and Ling Feng was engrossed in feeling her sadness. The story was over, but the sadness did not subside, Ling Feng looked at this girl who had been tempered by life, and felt an apology in his heart, "I couldn't comfort her when she was deeply devastated, I couldn't lend a helping hand when she needed help, I was suspicious of her when he was looking for the joy of friendship, and when she was suffering from a cold, I let her go back to that sad moment again." ”

On the nineteenth day of the first lunar month, Yingshun once again stepped on the train to Shijiazhuang, although this year was the same as last year, there were no friends to see her off, but she would not have any more sadness. Because the simple bag is already full of the friendship of parents, brothers, and friends, and more promising hope is beckoning to her.

"Have a good trip, my friend, I wish you a happy home, a safe life! My sister, I wish you a bright future. The train passed under the Hongyun Bridge, and Ling Feng stood on the bridge, waving his arm at the train that was getting farther and farther away.