(ix)

The heart is unwilling to let go, and the sorrow is depressed on the top of the mountain

It's winter again, and it's a time when the lights are on. The raging north wind whirred like a living beast. The boundless darkness opened its bloody mouth and devoured factories, schools, streets, and trees with impunity.

Passers-by hurried, wooden and mechanically moving their legs to the place called home.

In a home on the edge of the city, a middle-aged woman in her 40s is cleaning up the dishes. Although the room was not very warm, the middle-aged woman's heart was very satisfied, and her heart was full of joy as she watched her beloved daughter grow up day by day.

"My daughter will go to junior high school in half a year, so she is a big girl. ”

Whenever she thinks of this, a smile unconsciously appears on the face of a middle-aged woman. For the sake of their daughters, middle-aged women save money on the one hand, and on the other hand, they do some small business on the street despite the scorching heat and cold to supplement their families. Since it was too cold today, the middle-aged woman came back more than an hour early. When I got home, my daughter was reading a book on the kang in the hut. The middle-aged woman put down her things and went to the kitchen without resting, she lit the fire first, and was afraid that her daughter would be hungry, so she cooked two bowls of noodles first. When eating with her daughter, the middle-aged woman gave her daughter the poached eggs in her bowl, and the daughter did not refuse, hurriedly finished eating noodles and went to read the book "Red Rock".

"Lei Lei, have you finished your homework?" The middle-aged woman asked her daughter while wiping the table.

"Mom, don't worry, I'll finish writing at school. The daughter replied, but her eyes did not take off "Red Rock".

"I see that you don't go out to play these days, you always read, don't be tired. The middle-aged woman's eyes were full of love.

"I'm not tired, this book is very good, I plan to finish reading it this week, and I can go to my grandmother's house on Sunday to change other books." A hint of excitement flashed across her daughter's face.

"Then take your time. After the middle-aged woman finished speaking, she went to steam steamed buns.

Time passed minute by minute, and it was time for the steamed buns to come out of the pot. Today's fire is very strong, and the hearth is full of red coals. After getting out of the pot, the middle-aged woman began to clean up the kitchen again, she did not deal with the open hearth, not to forget, but she felt that it was a pity that the red coals in the stove were covered, and it was better to open the kitchen. It doesn't matter if it's baked, it attracts the devil who kills people without seeing blood.

At about nine o'clock in the evening, a tall middle-aged man walked down the dimly lit street. Although the weather was very cold and windy, the middle-aged man did not have a trace of chill, and in the thick hazing, the delicious food just now could be vaguely seen. In an instant, the delicacies drifted into the eyes with the wind, and another smell of wine remained in the night sky. The middle-aged man is like this, following the smell of alcohol all the way to the door of the house.

Take the key to open the door, although the action is coherent but not so smooth. The door finally opened, and the aftertaste of the wine turned to a strong smell of soot, and the mother and daughter were lying on the kitchen floor and on the kang in the hut.

"Soot poisoning. The middle-aged man was completely drunk, so he hurriedly rushed into the hut and picked his daughter out, and then went to knock on the door of the neighbor's house for help. Eventually, with the help of kind neighbors and taxi drivers, the mother and daughter were taken to the hospital for emergency treatment.

"Knock knock" A quick knock on the door woke Ling Feng, his parents and the third sister from their sleep. The door opened, and Ling Feng's eldest brother-in-law knelt on the ground when he entered the house, begging loudly with tears on his face, "Save Lei Lei, save Lei Lei." This sudden scene frightened Ling Feng's family. After asking the reason, the third sister accompanied her mother to the hospital to understand the situation, and Ling Feng stayed at home to accompany her father, who was not in good health. When his mother brought back the news that Lei Lei was not saved in the early morning, his father shed tears sadly.

After rescue, the eldest sister was out of danger, but she was still in a coma, while Lei Lei left forever. For a while, a sad atmosphere enveloped Ling Feng's entire family, and they all sighed for the passing flower girl.

Ling Feng grew so old that he experienced the pain of losing a loved one for the first time. For a long time, Ling Feng always felt very depressed in his heart, and the feeling of wanting to cry came to his heart one after another. It is said that men don't flick when they have tears, but Ling Feng did cry, and more than once: when he saw Lei Lei sleeping peacefully in the hospital morgue, when he pulled the white cloth to shield Lei Lei who got into the car: when the hearse drove slowly towards the suburban crematorium, when he carried Lei Lei out of the car in the crematorium and took one last look at her, when he saw Lei Lei's smile on the urn, and when he sent Lei Lei his favorite dolls and other items......

When burning the relics, Ling Feng held "Red Rock" in his hand, and regretted in his heart, he really shouldn't have restricted his niece from reading, if Lei Lei was not in a hurry to read but ran out to play, he might have escaped that night, and maybe there would have been no tragedy that night.

"Lei Lei, I'm sorry, this is your beloved "Red Rock", let it accompany you on the road. ”

Ling Feng said and threw the upper and lower "Red Rocks" into the furnace, and as the flames soared, Ling Feng's tears had burst out of his eyes.

When the Spring Festival approached, the eldest sister had basically recovered. After completing the discharge procedures, the third sister took the eldest sister home. For the sake of the patient's body, I temporarily informed the eldest sister that Lei Lei went to his grandmother's house for the New Year.

There were two more people in the family, and Ling Feng had to go to his aunt's house to live. Early in the morning of the first day of the Lunar New Year, on the way back from his aunt's house, Ling Feng suddenly had the idea of going to see Lei Lei. So, Ling Feng came to the Star Picking Pavilion at the top of the North Mountain, where he could see the auditorium behind the mountain where the ashes were stored. There were very few people in Beishan, Ling Feng stood alone in the star-picking pavilion, the snowflakes beside him danced with the cold wind, and the sound of "crackling" firecrackers came from time to time behind him, but the world in front of him was so quiet. In the smoke swirling, the white auditorium where the ashes were stored loomed, as if entering a fairyland, but it was not a fairyland, it was just a place where the undead gathered, and there were many unwilling figures floating there, as many souls as there were sorrows, how many thoughts.

On this festive morning, Ling Feng seemed to see the innocent little girl again, her voice and smile were so clear and so cute. Suddenly, Ling Feng hated the green mountain under his feet, because it cut off the family relationship between his parents and children, and no amount of tears or sighs could move it, it just stood there silently, silently, speechlessly, and emotionlessly witnessing the family affection between people.

"Happy New Year Lei Lei. Ling Feng wrote these big words on the snow.

"Let my greetings take away my thoughts, if you have a spirit in heaven, let us bless your mother together, although you are unwilling, but have you thought about your mother? You have taken joy and happiness away, you have left your thoughts and sorrows to her, can she accept this reality? Can she withstand this blow?" Ling Feng's thoughts were flying and rising.

On January 18, 1995, Ling Feng will always remember this day, and the one who remembers this day more deeply should be the eldest sister. As expected, when the eldest sister learned the news of Lei Lei's departure, her spirit almost collapsed, and she couldn't eliminate her thoughts about her daughter by all means, until her son Dongdong was born, she gradually recovered, and that was a year later.